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(SNPP)   What is the funniest moment/quote from The Simpsons? Voting enabled   ( divider line
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13522 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2003 at 2:05 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | » | Newest

2003-07-19 03:10:29 PM  
Police? I'd like to report a really weird island.
2003-07-19 03:10:44 PM  
Disco Stu likes disco music.
2003-07-19 03:10:52 PM  
Once again!

Homer: I wanna set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute.
2003-07-19 03:11:27 PM  
Sideshow Bob and the rakes.
2003-07-19 03:12:08 PM  
It's like there's a party in my mouth, and everyone's invited!
2003-07-19 03:12:36 PM  
Nothing says good job like a firm open hand slap on the rear end

oh wait... wrong cartoon...
2003-07-19 03:13:03 PM  
"Bees are on the what now?"
2003-07-19 03:13:07 PM  
It's Otto, not Auto.
2003-07-19 03:14:07 PM  
Classic Grandpa:

We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe. So, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. 'Give me five bees for a quarter', you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh, yeah...the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war; the only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.
2003-07-19 03:14:15 PM  
Godspeed, little doodle ~ Ned Flanders

Marge and the bartender in Australia:

Marge: "I'll have a coffee"
Bartender: Beer?
Marge: Coffee.
Bartender: Beer?
Marge: KAW-FEE.
Bartender: BEE-EAR?
Marge: C-O-F
Bartender: B-E-E
2003-07-19 03:14:32 PM  
GAWD I just realized! I am Homer Simpson! ahhhhhh
2003-07-19 03:14:49 PM  
Pushing the shopping cart on his way to Moe's.
"Must kill Moe...wheeeee!...must kill Moe...wheeeee!" -Homer

[image from too old to be available]

/Word up JP
2003-07-19 03:14:49 PM  
Lisa: Didn't you wonder why you were getting those checks in the mail for doing nothing?

Grandpa: I thought its because the Democrats were in power again.
2003-07-19 03:16:24 PM  
"My best friend smells like catfood!"
2003-07-19 03:16:24 PM  
Ralph: "Daddy, these rubber pants are hot"

Wiggum: "You wear 'em 'till you learn, son"
2003-07-19 03:16:55 PM  
All Hail HypnoToad!

Go Banana! =Ralph
2003-07-19 03:18:09 PM  

2. Lenny:Wow Homer, you're a big man now...and you're made of gold...

Homer: 14 KARAT GOLD!!!!!!
2003-07-19 03:18:27 PM says here "press any key to continue"....
2003-07-19 03:18:41 PM  
2003-07-19 03:19:24 PM  
It's OK money, your money is all money.
2003-07-19 03:19:50 PM  
During the Duff Beer best bartender contest:

Titalia (Big breasted blonde): "But you said if I slept with you I wouldn't have to touch the drunk!"

Duffman: "Duffman says a lot of things! Oooohhh Yeahhhh!"
2003-07-19 03:20:41 PM  
Springfield Sperm Bank Est. 1858
"Put your sperm in our hands"
2003-07-19 03:21:11 PM  
(Homer is driving home, singing)

"Simpson, Homer Simpson, hes the greatest man in history.
From the, town of springfield, hes about to hit a chestnut tree.. AHHHHHH!"

*swerves out of the way of the tree*
2003-07-19 03:22:40 PM  
When Homer and the kids are being chased by the rhinos.

Homer: "I know what to do."

(turns to face rampaging rhinos)

Homer: "Jumanji!"
2003-07-19 03:22:51 PM  
Lemon of Troy

Bart: No not in my mouth! Ahhhh is what the kid would say - to the buffs!

Milhouse: Quit copying me!

Marge: It's almost lunch time. Do you know where your brother is tutoring?
Lisa: Pfft. Tutoring? The only thing Bart's teaching is guerilla combat in Shelbyville.
Marge: Well, do you have a number where we can reach him?
Lisa: No, Mom, Bart and some kids ran off to wage war on Shelbyville!
Marge: [gasps]
Homer! Come quick! Bart's quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!

Martin: OK, piglet, start squealing. Where'd you get the lemons for this lemonade?
Boy: Uh...this is Country Time lemonade mix. There's never been anything close to a lemon in it, I swear!
Brother: Hey, nobody hassles my little brother.
Martin: Hey! And no one manhandles the bosom chum of Nelson Mundt. Spring forth, burly protector, and save me!
[long pause; the kids look around]
Nelson: Aw, jeez. I never hang out with him, normally.
[throws the brother off Martin]
Martin: [skipping around Nelson and singing] Hark to the tale of Nelson, and the boy he loved so dear. [Nelson takes a swipe at him but misses] They remained the best of friends For years and years and years.

Bart: Keep your voices down, boys: we didn't come this far to get found out.
Homer: [parting the bushes] Found 'em! You kids are in big trouble, running away from home like this!
Bart: But they stole our lemon tree.
Homer: I don't care what excuse you've got. Nothing's going to stop me in the middle of this speech. You're gonna -- lemon tree?!

So many more.
2003-07-19 03:23:02 PM  
Homer: And what good is an education going to do me, everytime I learn something, it pushes old stuff out of my brain.
Marge: It does not.
Homer: Remember that time I took the homewinemaking course and I forgot how to drive.
Marge: Thats because you were drunk
Homer: And how

2003-07-19 03:23:39 PM  
Ralph as a wolf carries him off: You smell like dead bunnies!

From the episode with the black social worker:
Family: We are family!
Homer: Wolves and Cougars ate our roast beef!
2003-07-19 03:24:45 PM  
Sideshow Bob: "Oh come, now. You wanted to be Krusty's sidekick since you were five! What about the buffoon lessons? The four years at clown college?"
Cecil: "I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way."
2003-07-19 03:25:19 PM  
From the episode where they take a vacation with the kids and Milhouse tags along. Lisa has no friends etc,

Homer:(in a local shop looking ofr illegal fireworks) Let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, couple of those panty shields, and one of those disposable enemas, eh, make it two.
Gee, I don't know what you've got planned for tonght, Homer, but count me out.

HOMER:(talking to Marge)
Remember when I got caught stealing all those watches from Sears? Well that's nothing, because you have a gambling problem! And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house because he was dressed up like Santa Claus? Well you have a gambling problem.
2003-07-19 03:25:44 PM  
Late and buried, but what the hey:

Max Power: There's three ways to do things, kids! The right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!
Lisa: Isn't that the wrong way?
Max Power: Yes, but faster!
2003-07-19 03:26:16 PM  
Homer: But you have to love me. I'm your son!
Grandpa: Yeah, you'd think so, but there you are.
2003-07-19 03:26:42 PM  
Ralph: (Looking aa Homer without a shirt) "That man has boobies like Mommy!"

Wiggums: "-grunt- I wish."
2003-07-19 03:27:20 PM  
Prove me wrong, Silent Bob.
2003-07-19 03:28:00 PM  
Robert Goulet: "Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager..."
Nelson Muntz: "Your manager says for you to SHUT UP!"
Robert Goulet: "Very said THAT?"
2003-07-19 03:28:08 PM  
Homer: Stupid Flanders, You're a genius!
2003-07-19 03:28:41 PM  
Now with voting. Mods, please delete my previous post.

Robert Goulet: "Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager..."
Nelson Muntz: "Your manager says for you to SHUT UP!"
Robert Goulet: "Very said THAT?"
2003-07-19 03:28:50 PM  
sugar episode, when homer loads all the sugar on the boat and the Cuban-esque guy says "ok now give us zee money!"
Homer: that wasn't part of the deal!
guy looks at paper then says "he's right! who wrote this?!"
2003-07-19 03:29:25 PM  
a recent one--

homer: who's mr. flanders? ooohhh...flanders.
2003-07-19 03:31:05 PM  
ohh, ohh! another one
"But Marge, when I'm holding this gun a sense of power flows through me, like God must feel....when he's holding a gun!"
2003-07-19 03:31:08 PM  
Ahh! So many incorrect quotes!!

Ralph did not say "I sleep in a drawer". Lisa did not tell Homer that it's easy to criticize.

And so on.

You suck! This is serious!
2003-07-19 03:31:29 PM  
"I like my beer cold, my women hot, and my gays fah-laming."

Teacher: "What about the multiplication tables?"
Bart: "I know OF them."

"I was so bored that I even drank a glass of wine today. I know they say that you're supposed to drink two glasses a day, but I just can't do it."

"I'm gonna go toss the virtual salad." -Bart

"I'm a chicken Marge!" -Homer

"Don't tell people how I live." -Lenny

"I am smart....smarter than you...Hibbard!" -Comic book guy (singing)

When Hugh asks Lisa to marry him, the fireworks display doesn't work, goes to plan B which is a cow with a painted sign that says 'Marry me?"

"Homer, there's someone here to help you."-Marge
"Is it Batman?"-Homer on runaway monorail
"It's a scientist."-Marge
"Batman's a scientist."-Homer
"It's not Batman!!"-Marge

I could go on...but that is enough.....
2003-07-19 03:31:35 PM  
"Trying is just the first step towards failure!" - Homer
2003-07-19 03:31:37 PM  
Oh wait, another one:

Ralph: "I saw Principal Skinner and Mrs. Crabapple and they were making babies and I saw the babies and one of them looked at me..."

Really, How can you narrow it down to one?
2003-07-19 03:31:54 PM  
"Im only trying to get INTO heaven... Im not running for Jesus!"

"...Save me Jeebus!"

"I don't believe in Jeebus"

2003-07-19 03:31:59 PM  
Now, whenever any one gets wood, they will think of Trojans.
2003-07-19 03:34:09 PM  
Homer: Somebody had to take the babysitter home. Then I noticed she was sitting on [splice] her sweet [splice] can. [splice] -- o I grab her -- [splice] sweet can. [splice] Oh, just thinking about [splice] her [splice] can [splice] I just wish I had he -- [splice] sweet [splice] sweet [splice] s-s-sweet [splice] can.
2003-07-19 03:34:50 PM  
"Lisa! When you hate your job you don't strike! You just go in every day and do it really half-assed! That's the American Way!"
2003-07-19 03:35:28 PM  
"have the rolling stones killed"
2003-07-19 03:35:33 PM  
Bart: [whining] Mom, my slingshot doesn't fit in these pockets. And these shorts leave nothing to the imagination. These uniforms suck!
Marge: Bart! Where do you pick up words like that?
Homer: [on phone] Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
Marge: Homer! Watch your mouth!
Homer: Aw, I gotta go. My damn weiner kids are listening. [hangs up]
2003-07-19 03:35:52 PM  
Lionel Hutz: "Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I saw Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on but I think I got the gist of it."
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