Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SNPP)   What is the funniest moment/quote from The Simpsons? Voting enabled   ( divider line
    More: Survey  
•       •       •

13522 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2003 at 2:05 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

823 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | » | Newest

2003-07-19 02:53:25 PM  
"Did you know they have the internet on computers now?"
2003-07-19 02:53:54 PM  
Cletus: "Stranger, you're trespassing on my dirt farm."
2003-07-19 02:54:35 PM  
Ranier Wolfcastle parks his large hummeresque SUV in front of the Simpson's house. After some dialog homer asks:
[homer]What kind of mileage does this get?
[ranier]Von highway Zeero citty
2003-07-19 02:55:18 PM  
Simpsons vs. Tokyo

Toilet: I will be happy to receive your waste.
Homer: Wow, they're years ahead of us!
(Bart turns on TV, toilet cam view of Homer)
Bart: Mom look! Dad's on TV!
(zoom to homer taking off his pants, sitting down on toilet)
Homer: Aaaaaahhhhhh.


Sea Captain: We must save our precious cargo!
Sailor: You mean the hot pants?
Sea Captain: Arrrr, yes, the hotpants.
2003-07-19 02:55:43 PM  
No one who speaks German can be evil.
2003-07-19 02:55:59 PM  
Ned is gently tossing rocks at Homer's window in the middle of the night to get his attention.
Homer gets out of bed, looks out the window, and says,

"Ohhh, you want a rock fight, eh?"

Beside the window is a bucket labelled "WAR ROCKS" and Homer reaches in to pull out a rock that has Flanders' name written on it.

You probably had to be there, but that might be the hardest I've ever laughed at a Simpsons joke.
2003-07-19 02:56:06 PM  
When Ralphie Wiggum says,
"Why does everybody run away from me?"

Then he stands there with a smile on his face, peeing his pants.
2003-07-19 02:56:19 PM  
Homer as a food critic:

[homer, to marge] this meal is all shake and bake
[marge] I thought you liked shake and bake, you used to put it in your coffee
2003-07-19 02:56:58 PM  
Homer: Welcome to the Internet, my friend, how can I help you?
Comic Book Guy: I'm interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud Internet connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my token ring ethernet LAN configuration?
Homer: [stares blankly for a few seconds] Can I have some money now?
2003-07-19 02:57:00 PM  
Homer, after many beers while trying to explain the birds and the bees to Bart: " any way I says to him, I says if you want that money, you can come find it, 'cause I dont know where it is, ya baloney. You make me wanna wretch."
2003-07-19 02:57:21 PM  
Marge: "Your boss called, if you don't come in to work today, don't bother coming in on Monday"
Homer: "Woo-Hoo! Four day weekend!"
2003-07-19 02:57:24 PM  
ah, the luftwaffe. the washington generals of the history channel
2003-07-19 02:57:56 PM  
Bart: Grandpa, isn't this guy a little nuts?

Grandpa: Well Patton was a little nuts too. This man is absolutely out of his mind! We can't lose!
2003-07-19 02:57:59 PM  
"Homer no think beer well without."

Mr. Burns:"I know! We'll take the Spruce Moose!"
Smithers:"Ah, sir, that's just a model."
Mr. Burns:(cocks gun)"Get in."
2003-07-19 02:58:03 PM  
"Ohhh the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared, the Germans!"
2003-07-19 02:58:29 PM  
Ok, there are already WAY too many comments, but this one sticks in my head for some reason:

"I ... HATE ... YOU ... WALT ... FREAKIN ... WHITMAN ... Leaves of Grass my ASS"
2003-07-19 02:58:36 PM  
Marge: "Are you sitting on the pie, Grandpa?"

Grandpa: "I sure hope so."
2003-07-19 02:58:44 PM  
Mr. Burns: Simpson I want to be loved!
Homer: ah, okay. But, I will need some beer first!
2003-07-19 02:59:13 PM  
"I must hurry back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them."
2003-07-19 02:59:24 PM  
I don't know if these are exact but..

LISA: I like him, he's smart, he's sensitive, he's clearly not obsessesed with his physical appearance.
HOMER: My ears are burning.
LISA: Uh, I wasn't talking about you, Dad.
HOMER: No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-tip.


"You must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil"
"It was a gummi bear"
2003-07-19 02:59:43 PM  
number 1) Elmo: Elmo knows where you live

number 2) Homer: SAVE ME JEEBUS!!!
(dont' know if #2 has been used, got sick of reading, too many letters)

a vote for me, is a vote for me and not anyone else
2003-07-19 02:59:43 PM  
Krusty: Well Itchy and Scratchy are gone.
But Here is a cartoon that tries to make learning fun!
Krusty tries to laugh but ends on a sad note, then moans.Sorry about this kids, but stay tuned; we've got some real good toy commercials coming right up, I swear.

Music starts playing.

Kid: Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of Congress?

Amendment: I'm not garbage. Singing
I'm an amendment-to-be,
Yes an amendment-to-be,
And I'm hoping that they'll ratify me.
There's a lot of flag-burners,
Who have got too much freedom.
I want to make it legal for policemen to beat'em.
Cause there's limits to our liberties,
At least I hope and pray that there are,
Cause those liberal freaks go too far.

Kid: But why can't we just make a law against flag-burning?

Amendment: Because that law would be unconstitutional. But if we changed the Constitution...

Kid: Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws!

Amendment: Now you're catching on!

Scene flips to Bart and Lisa watching TV.

Bart: What the hell is this?

Lisa: It's one of those campy "70's" throwbacks that appeals to Generation "X"ers.

Bart: We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little.

Back to TV

Boy: But what if they say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?

Amendment singing:
Then I'll destroy all opposition to me.
And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay.
If he fights back,
I'll say that he's gay.

Big Fat Guy in a brown suite comes running up.

Big Fat Guy: Good news, Amendment!
They ratified 'ya.
You're in the U.S. Constitution!

Amendment: Oh, yeah! Door's open, boys!

At this point, other "right wing" suits run up the stairs of congress, shooting guns into the air and throwing bombs around and wooping.
2003-07-19 03:00:01 PM  
"Smithers, have the Rolling Stones killed."
-"But sir, those aren't the--"
"Do as I say!"
2003-07-19 03:00:09 PM  
2003-07-19 03:01:30 PM  
"Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we've just lost the picture, but what we've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over- 'conquered' if you will- by a master race of giant space ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthman or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves."
-- Kent Brockman
2003-07-19 03:01:44 PM  
George C Scott: "URRRNNGH!!!! My groin!!!"

R. Wiggum: "My cat's breath smells like cat food."

Edna Kraboppel:"Purplemonkeydishwasher"

If not for the Simpsons, what would everyone say?
2003-07-19 03:01:45 PM  
2003-07-19 03:02:01 PM  
"Disco Stu is doin' it pro bono!"
2003-07-19 03:02:37 PM  
it helps if you read the posts FIRST before pontificating your point. If it has been stated previously, then you have no right to voting...ELMIXTLY. ahem.
2003-07-19 03:02:46 PM  
Bart: Lisa is a witch! She's cursing me! MUST.... DROP.... PANTALOONS...
2003-07-19 03:03:18 PM  
Mrs. Skinner yelling at bart about Santa's Little Helper
"He unholied the holy water!"
2003-07-19 03:03:39 PM  
It has to be either

a) I sleep in a drawer.
b) What's a battle?
c) Are you my mother?

(Note: All are Ralph Wiggum quotes)
2003-07-19 03:03:39 PM  
Homer: Oh Lisa, you and your stories. Bart is a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's all go to that building... thingy... where our beds and TV... is."

2003-07-19 03:04:08 PM  
Homer: "Mmmmm......64 slices of American Cheese! 64.....63...."

(cut to that morning)

Homer: "2....1....."
Marge: "Homer, have you been up all night eating cheese?"
Homer "I think I'm blind!"
2003-07-19 03:04:56 PM  
Might be a repeat:

Homer: In America, first you get the sugar. Then you get the money. Then you get the power. Then you get da women.
2003-07-19 03:05:04 PM  
And the episode when Homer can smoke weed.

Auto: Remember when you dropped your keys and you thought the phone was ringing?

and another, I forget what Auto says first, same name is some other name backwards.
Then homer says: And Auto is... Auto backwards!!! (Homer busts a gut)
Auto: Whoa, now i'm scared.

Ahh... good stuff.
2003-07-19 03:05:23 PM  
"Im tired of this family holding me back!!!!! I'm going to clown college!!!!"


Doctor: If we remove the crayon from your brain, it may kill you, but it will increase your thinking power

Homer: Increase my killing power, eh?
2003-07-19 03:07:05 PM  
Homer is on the 'weird island' after he is captured as 'Mr. X'. They then send a replacement homer to live with the rest of the Simpson clan. Fake homer walks in:
[bart]There is something different about you
[fake homer, thick german accent] Uhh, new tie i'm vearing

[fake homer, to marge]How about we go to a sensibly priced restaurant, and then have some efficient german sex
2003-07-19 03:07:07 PM  
Lionel Hutz: Uh oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Lionel Hutz: Well, replace 'kinda' with 'repeatedly' and 'dog' with 'son'.
2003-07-19 03:07:29 PM  
2003-07-19 03:07:48 PM  
Homer: I've got a friend, um, named... Joey Jo Jo Junior... Shabidoo.

Moe: That's the worst name I've ever heard.

*man runs out crying*

Barney: Joey Jo Jo!

Don't know if this was posted yet.
2003-07-19 03:08:21 PM  
Bart: "My heart hurts!"
Homer: "Quit complainin' boy, and butter that bacon."
2003-07-19 03:08:47 PM  
"Mr. Burns, I think you can trust the President of Cuba."
2003-07-19 03:09:06 PM  
From The Brother From Another Series (#4F14)

Cecil is preparing to blow up the dam, running through a checklist and Bart jumps on him, and says,

Bart: Guess who!

Got to have watched Fraser to get it.
2003-07-19 03:09:07 PM  
Comic Book Guy: "Those are prescription pants!"
2003-07-19 03:09:11 PM  
They hoist Homer out of the canyon after his failed attempt to jump it on Bart's skateboard. His head is hitting every rock as they lift him out. They load him into the ambulance, the siren starts, it drives not more than 5 feet, crashes into the wall, the back doors fly open, Homer's stretcher flies out and back down the canyon.
2003-07-19 03:09:13 PM  
I can't believe anyone hasn't dropped this one in yet;

Groundskeeper Willie takes over French class and yells "Alright, settle down you cheese-eating surrender monkeys!"

2003-07-19 03:09:31 PM  
Homer to Lisa: "Oh, everything's cruel according to you. Keeping him chained in the yard is cruel. Shouting in his ear is cruel. Pulling on his tail is cruel.. Well, pardon me if I'm cruel"


Lisa to Homer: "Ya know, Dad, it's easy to critcize.."

Homer: "Fun, too!"
2003-07-19 03:10:12 PM  
Homer: I wanna set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute.
2003-07-19 03:10:17 PM  
Grandpa: "The metric system is the tool of the devil. My car gets 40 rods to the hogs head and that's the way I like it!"
Displayed 50 of 823 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | » | Newest

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.