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(SNPP)   What is the funniest moment/quote from The Simpsons? Voting enabled   ( divider line
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13522 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2003 at 2:05 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2003-07-19 02:17:59 PM  
"I'm sorry, you'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel."
2003-07-19 02:18:08 PM  
It really is difficult to select a best quote or defining quote from the Simpsons. There are quotes that are hilarious just for silliness, and quotes that are great at poking fun at politics, reglion, pop culture, or just about anything.

But who can forget the great episode with the yard sale before George Bush the first moved in down the street.

Marge: Can we get rid of this Ayatollah T-shirt? Khomeini died years ago.

Homer: But, Marge! It works on _any_ Ayatollah: Ayatollah Nakhbadeh, Ayatollah Zahedi...even as we speak, Ayatollah Razmada and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating their power.
2003-07-19 02:18:20 PM  
"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer."
2003-07-19 02:18:52 PM  
I would kill everyone in this room for one drop of sweet beer..
2003-07-19 02:18:58 PM  
Homer: Hi Mr. Scorpio... Do you have any sugar for my coffee?
*scorpio reaches into pockets fumbles around*
Scorpio: Yeah
*scorpio pulls out a big lump of sugar*
Scorpio: Yeah here it is... sorry its not in packets.
2003-07-19 02:18:58 PM  
Mmmmm. $anything.
2003-07-19 02:19:17 PM  
Homer: "Blah blah, beer kills brain cells. Now lets go back to beds and"
2003-07-19 02:19:22 PM  
Stupid sexy Flanders.
2003-07-19 02:19:45 PM  
"He came to life ~ good for him!"
2003-07-19 02:19:47 PM  
Homer: "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."
2003-07-19 02:20:08 PM  
Homer: "I know you can't hear MY thoughts boy, Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow..."
2003-07-19 02:20:18 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!"
2003-07-19 02:20:23 PM  
Anything with Hans Moleman. Such as this classic gem from one of the halloween episodes, my personal favorite:

Bart: "Otto, you've got to do something! There's a gremlin on the side of the bus!"
(Cut to shot of Hans Moleman keeping pace alongside the school bus in his AMC Gremlin)
Otto: "Don't worry, Bart dude, I'll get rid of him."
(Otto jerks the wheel to the left and speeds away, Hans starts to lose control of the car)
Hans: "Oh no, I just made my last payment!"
(Car screeches off the road, skids down a hill, and stalls to a stop a few inches away from hitting a tree.)
Hans: "Oh, whew."
(Car EXPLODES anyway!!)

Comedy GOLD!!!

2003-07-19 02:20:34 PM  
Homer: (singing) "I am so smart, S-M-R-T.."
2003-07-19 02:21:13 PM  
Mountain of Madness - beginning to end - is one of the very best episodes. Funny all the way through. Classics like . . .

Homer: I think I won Mr. Burns.
Burns: Yes. You won more than you bargained for.


Burns: You're not as objectionable as you seemed.
Homer: No. No I am not.


Homer: Bless this rocket house and all who dwell in this rocket house.
2003-07-19 02:21:17 PM  
Its unpossible to cho, cho, choose one.... Matt Groening is a frikking genius.
2003-07-19 02:21:22 PM  
*Now with Voting*

Personal favorite, from the "Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 2"

Sideshow Mel: Chief! You have arrested an innocent man!
Chief Wiggum: Really? Alright Dr. Colossus, you're free to go. But stay away from death mountain.
Dr. Colossus: But all my stuff is there!
2003-07-19 02:21:34 PM  
The first 5 great quotes that come to mind:

Homer: The human wang is a beautiful thing.

Homer: My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Attendant: What's your first name, Mr. Burns?
Homer: I ... don't ... know.

Clerk: I must warn you, the doll is cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Clerk: But it comes with a free frozen yogurt which I call, "Frogurt."
Homer: That's good.
Clerk: But the frogurt is cursed!
Homer: That's bad.
Clerk: But it comes with your choice of topping!
Homer: That's good.
Clerk: But the toppings contain potassium benzoate!
Homer: (Silence)
Clerk: That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

Homer: This has purple stuff inside. Purple is a fruit.

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh ... ooh ... yeah ... right, Lisa. A wonderful ... magical animal.
2003-07-19 02:21:37 PM  
2003-07-19 02:22:04 PM  
"I was at a pornography store. I was buying poooornaaagraphy."
2003-07-19 02:22:19 PM  
" smells like Otto's jacket. "

(hullabalooza episode)
2003-07-19 02:22:25 PM  
But one of my very favorite quotes -

Carl Carlson: Any religion that embraces carob is not for Carl Carlson.
2003-07-19 02:22:38 PM  
When Ned Flanders is worrying about Hollywood corrupting his kids, he imagines his sons pulling up in a convertable with some bikini-clad babes...

"Gues what Dad? We're Jewish!"

2003-07-19 02:22:44 PM  
Ralph: "Look daddy,a whale egg!"
2003-07-19 02:23:03 PM  
Homer," Oh no! I'm gonna die. Jesus, Buddha, Allah, I love you all!"
Homer," I'm not usually a praying man, but if you are up there... please save me Superman."

sorry if I didn't get it exactly right
2003-07-19 02:23:34 PM  
"Simpson, Homer Simpson
He's the greatest guy in history
From the town of springfield
He's about to hit a chestbut tree"

Flinstones parody.
2003-07-19 02:23:35 PM  
Ralph: "Look daddy,a whale egg!"

Now with voting!
2003-07-19 02:23:36 PM  
my cat's breath smells like cat food
2003-07-19 02:23:40 PM  

"a Deer!"

"a Female Deer!"

Cracks me up every time.
2003-07-19 02:24:04 PM  
Kwijobo. A fat dumb balding ape with a bad temper.

Uh oh Kwijibo on the loose!
2003-07-19 02:24:12 PM  
Img src+
2003-07-19 02:24:42 PM  
Homer eats Guatamalan insanity peppers.
2003-07-19 02:25:20 PM  
"English side ruined... must... read... French side. Le Grill? What the hell is that?!?"
2003-07-19 02:26:02 PM  
2003-07-19 02:26:04 PM  
A vote for me is a vote for my previous post!!!!
2003-07-19 02:26:10 PM  
At the apple farm, Homer is listening to Flanders drone on about how to tell the difference between cider and juice.

Homer's Brain: "That's it, I'm outta here."
*brain floats away, leaving Homer's body to fall lifelessly to the floor*
2003-07-19 02:26:29 PM  
Ralph: Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!

(If someone else posted this by the time I hit "add comment", I apologize)
2003-07-19 02:26:33 PM  
How about the line us Farkers seem to at least paraphrase every day in real life....... Sweet beer!!
2003-07-19 02:27:01 PM  
Homer: "No beer and no tv make homer...something something."
Marge: "...go crazy?"
Homer: "Don't mind if i DO!"
2003-07-19 02:27:08 PM  
Apu's reaction when he saw he had octuplets. (You're happy, Drew, right?)
2003-07-19 02:27:14 PM  
"kids you tried your best and you failed miserably the lesson is never try"
2003-07-19 02:27:19 PM  
Homer is sitting in his coach with all of Santalittlehelper kids running around. He opens a chip bag and pulls out a chip.

The small dogs jump and take the chip.
Homer goes DOH!
He pulls out a second chip.
The small dogs jump and take the chip.
Homer goes DOH!
He pulls out a third chip.
The small dogs jump and take the chip.
Homer goes DOH!

This goes on non-stop for about a minute. Brain doesnt work fast on Homer.
2003-07-19 02:27:43 PM  
Homer, when explaining to Marge why he still had his handgun:

"But Marge, I swear to you - I never thought you'd find out!"
2003-07-19 02:27:55 PM  
Homer, Chief Wiggum, Apu, Moe and the gang put Elton John in a travel dog cage.
2003-07-19 02:28:02 PM  
Milhouse: "never bet against the 'house"
2003-07-19 02:28:46 PM  
Also from probably my favorite Treehouse of Horror:

"My fellow Americans, as a young boy I dreamed of being a baseball. But tonight I say we must move forward, not backward! Upward, not forward! And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!!!" --- Kang (as Bill Clinton)
2003-07-19 02:28:48 PM  
From the episode "Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington" where Krusty runs for Congress...

"This is Kent Brockman, with a special _live_ report from the headquarters of Krusty opponent, John Armstrong. How can I prove we're live? PENIS!"

Plus all the stuff that pokes fun at Republicans -- the Fox News channel "I have a name!" "Yes I'm sure you do".

That whole episode is one of my favorites.
2003-07-19 02:28:54 PM  
"Ah, sweet pity where would my love life have been without it"
2003-07-19 02:29:01 PM  
Also, the bits with superintendent Chalmers and Skinner are gold.

Skinner: Superintendent, we made the front page today!
[holds up newspaper, covering word "Awful" in headline]
Chalmers: Uh, what's that say under your hand there?
Skinner: Hmm? Oh, it's an unrelated article.
Chalmers: It's an unrelated article?
Skinner: [nodding] Mm hmm.
Chalmers: Within the banner headline?
Skinner: Yes. [puts the newspaper down] Now, to redirect our conversation slightly, I had a few ideas on how to spend this oil money.

Even more hilarious was the conversation they had about the 'steamed hams' for lunch after Skinner burned the lunch. I wish I could find the dialogue from the list but I don't remember the name of the episode.

Not exactly quoted but

Chalmers: Auroa borelias? At this time of day? In this hemisphere? Located entirely within the confines of your kitchen?
Skinner: Yes
Chalmers: May I see it?
Skinner: No
[outside the house]
Skinner's Mother: Seymour, the house is on fire
Skinner: No mother, it's just the northern lights.
2003-07-19 02:29:07 PM  
Space Aliens! Don't eat me I have a wife and Kids, eat them!
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