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(SNPP)   What is the funniest moment/quote from The Simpsons? Voting enabled   ( divider line
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13522 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2003 at 2:05 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2003-07-19 01:57:10 AM  
..a Canadian couple who are deathly afraid of scorpions..
2003-07-19 03:16:48 AM  
Administrator: And what are your reasons for wanting a Little Brother?
Homer's brain: Don't say revenge! Don't say revenge!
Homer's mouth: Uh, revenge?
Homer's brain: That's it, I'm gettin' outta here. [footsteps, and a door slam]
2003-07-19 03:37:46 AM  
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

Look Marge, you don't know what it's like -- I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't HANDLE the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown

I ated the purple berries!... Ugh... It tastes like...burning!

I'll handle this... the only danger in space is if we land on the terrible Planet of the Apes... wait a minute. Statue of Liberty... THAT WAS OUR PLANET! YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
2003-07-19 05:28:11 AM  
Poison.. poison... tasty fish!

It's impossible to choose a quote because there are episodes where pretty much every single line is funny in one way or another..
2003-07-19 06:19:50 AM  
"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"
2003-07-19 06:21:50 AM  
"To alcohol. The cause of of, and solution to, all of life's problems"
2003-07-19 06:25:48 AM  
^^^And the cause of my failure to proof-read my post.
2003-07-19 08:55:36 AM  
[1F19] The Boy Who Knew Too Much

Bart sits in the front row looking at the members of the jury.

[Skinner scowls at Bart from the jury box]

Skinner: [thinking] I know you can read my thoughts, Bart. Just a little reminder: if I found out you cut class, your ass is mine. Yes, you head me. I _think_ words I would never say.

Homer: [thinking] I know you can read _my_ thoughts, boy. [singing]Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow...
2003-07-19 09:03:30 AM  
2003-07-19 09:04:25 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

2003-07-19 09:44:58 AM  
"Quick. What's the number for 911?"
2003-07-19 10:23:07 AM  
Ralphie: "It tastes like...burning"
2003-07-19 10:24:11 AM  
Homer is pointing out the stars to little Pepe...
Homer: And that big dipper looking thingy is.. Alan the cowboy.
Pepe: Wow papa Homer, you are so learned.(Correct accent on last syllable.)
Homer: It's pronounced 'learned'. (Incorrect accent on first syl.)
Pepe: I love you Papa Homer.
Homer: I love you too Pepsi.
Pepe: Pepe.
Homer: Whatever.
Also very funny, from "Send in the Clones", when Homer tries to get rid of his clones. He drives them to a remote field and asks if any of them remember how to get back home. One of the clones raises his hand, so Homer shoots him. Then Homer asks again and another one raises his hand. Same result. I think it happens one more time. Hilarious.
2003-07-19 11:21:25 AM  
"Stupid sexy Flanders!"
2003-07-19 11:22:44 AM  
Sea Captain: "Arr! That'll be replacin' the whale in my dreams."
2003-07-19 11:23:26 AM  
"I'm afraid this gets my worst rating ever: seven thumbs up."
2003-07-19 12:50:42 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

"My eyes! The goggles do nothing!"

(Often misquoted as, "The goggles, *they* do nothing!".)
2003-07-19 12:51:30 PM  
Sneed's Feed and Seed (Formerly Chuck's)
2003-07-19 01:02:31 PM  

as usual, i argee wit ya. no need for me to say nuttin else except .... is there such a thing as public office in farkistan? if so, i nominate cola as mayor, dog catcher, or assembly-person
2003-07-19 01:25:37 PM  
2003-07-19 01:58:04 PM  

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
2003-07-19 02:02:53 PM  
Ah, cola. Your gibbering army of worshippers strikes again.
2003-07-19 02:07:24 PM  
Why leave american to visit america jr?

Florida, but thats americas wang.
2003-07-19 02:07:50 PM  
Ralph Wiggum: I bent my Wookie!
2003-07-19 02:08:52 PM  
Raplh Wiggum: I bent my Wookie!

Now with Voting!
2003-07-19 02:09:29 PM  
Sadly, I am on the generation that has been raised by the Simpsons. They're like a parent to me. And now, I can't stand them anymore.
I can remember a time where I had my schedule set to watch 5 episodes or more in a day.
But I've seen aaaall the old ones. And the new ones are terrible.
So like a child who'shiat his teenage years (wait, I am...) I've grown tired of these parents.
2003-07-19 02:10:13 PM  
"It is time for me to return to my comic book store, where I dispense insults, rather than absorb them."
2003-07-19 02:10:22 PM  
Flanders: I think we hit something
Homer: I hope it was Flanders!
2003-07-19 02:11:54 PM  
Homer: "Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."
2003-07-19 02:12:23 PM  
"The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dailing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now."
2003-07-19 02:12:34 PM  
On the episode of Smithers' father being found in the quarry, when they go up the pipe and start to open it and Mr. Burns says
What are you doing in my corpse hatch?!
Wiggum: Mr. Burns you're under arrest for murder
Burns: Did I say corpse hatch? I meant innocence tube...

Also anything with Hank Scorpio..that whole sugar thing
2003-07-19 02:12:43 PM  
I can't remember the exact quote, but:

Ralph: That's my sandbox over there, but I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things.
2003-07-19 02:13:04 PM  
Mr Burns: "Family, religion, friendship ... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business."
2003-07-19 02:13:12 PM  
Owwwww... A bee stung my bottom!!
Now my bottom's big!!
2003-07-19 02:13:17 PM  
"I'm a level 4 vegan. I don't eat anything that casts a shadow."
2003-07-19 02:14:01 PM  
"Oh don't worry it's inflammable"
"Inflammable means flammable? What a country!"
2003-07-19 02:14:10 PM  
Radio traffic guy: There's a mattress on the freeway, it looks like JOAN COLLINS must be in town!

Homer: Joan Collins! That girl sleeps with everybody!
2003-07-19 02:14:11 PM  
Belle: Your son was trespassing on my property and destroyed a very valuable stone gargoyle and... are you wearing a grocery bag?

Homer: I have misplaced my pants.
2003-07-19 02:15:14 PM  
Mmmmmm . . . floor pie . . .
2003-07-19 02:15:32 PM  
"Worst episode ever"
2003-07-19 02:15:35 PM  
The sequence that starts with Homer and Marge in the mini golf naked, and they feel around and grab homer's underpants, and that sets off the chase scene through the used car lot, up holding onto the hot-air balloon, and that ends with Homer's naked butt scraping against the glass of the large church, in front of everybody.
2003-07-19 02:16:09 PM  
2003-07-19 02:16:36 PM  
teacher: bart, whats wrong with your father ?
bart: oh. thats just his night terrors.
2003-07-19 02:16:52 PM  
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"Ow, my eye, I'm not supposed to get pudding in it."
2003-07-19 02:17:13 PM  
Personal favorite, from the "Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 2"

Sideshow Mel: Chief! You have arrested an innocent man!
Chief Wiggum: Really? Alright Dr. Colossus, you're free to go. But stay away from death mountain.
Dr. Colossus: But all my stuff is there!
2003-07-19 02:17:18 PM  
2003-07-19 02:17:28 PM  
when testing rodney dangerfields character "First he made fun of my weight problem. Then he suggested my personal motto should be 'semper fudge"
2003-07-19 02:17:31 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

"Ow, my eye, I'm not supposed to get pudding in it."
2003-07-19 02:17:44 PM  
"Lies make Baby Jesus cry!"

-- Rod (or Todd)
2003-07-19 02:17:51 PM  
I've always been partial to the silly little ditties Homer sings.
Oh Margie, you came and you brought me a turkey,
on my vacation away from worky!


I am so smart, S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T!


I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer!
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