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(USA Today)   Modern dating is now best summarized with this double reality: Men are becoming women, and women are becoming men   (yourlife.usatoday.com) divider line 320
    More: Interesting, personal distance, committed relationships, Rutgers University, sexual content, dating sites, Stephanie Coontz, dating  
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12117 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2011 at 11:12 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-02-03 08:51:04 AM
FTA: And, across every age group, women want more independence than men in their relationships: 77% of women say having their personal space is "very important," vs. 58% for men; 78% of women say the same about having their own interests and hobbies (vs. 64% for men). And 35% of women (vs. 23% of men) say regular nights out with the guys/girls are important.

I'm calling bullshiat on this. I figure the researchers asked couples this while the guys were in the presence of their girlfriend. "Oh no, I love spending every minutes of my life with my snookums" and "Yes, I love having girl's night out once a week, DON'T I SNUGGLEBEAR!" were the most common responses.
 
2011-02-03 09:07:42 AM
Bringing with them messages of love
And everywhere they go love will grow
 
2011-02-03 09:14:23 AM
And lovemaking tips are now being taken from meatspin.com.
 
2011-02-03 09:17:26 AM
That research only reflects singles. Men who aren't needy and whiney, and women who don't want to taste test everything before they settle down are probably already in relationships.
 
2011-02-03 09:53:45 AM
Weird. Shouldn't this kind of trend bullshiat article come from the NYT?
 
2011-02-03 09:56:16 AM
OKay, not to call crap on this entirely, but Evergreen State is not a real college. Its an "alternative" setting where people are encouraged to make up whatever suits them, go do some work, and call it a degree. A friend of mine who graduated there did his senior thesis on tree houses, because he was living in one at the time.

Evergreen is for where "Lost And Searching" kids go in order to "Find themselves" and then get handed a degree to certify they paid tuition for four years.

Scientific rigor is not something that is featured there. Standards really just bring a person down, could alter their moods, so they don't tend to believe too much in holding to them.
 
2011-02-03 09:59:46 AM
A study commissioned by match.com says that "men are more interested in love, marriage and children than their peers in earlier times."

I'm sure the expanded data tables prove that "he thinks those breasts are just too big," "antiquing and a nice dinner with your parents is more fun than any stupid football game," and "Blowjobs? Ick! I just want to kiss that mouth -- when you're not telling me about your day and all those rotten women at work that are conspiring against you, that is!"

Next thing you'll tell me is that Hershey's Chocolate determined the food pyramid should be more than 80 percent nougat or that NASCAR has found incontrovertible evidence of inverse proportion between tooth retention and "awesomeness."
 
2011-02-03 10:03:37 AM

xanadian: And lovemaking tips are now being taken from meatspin.com.


They said to have it done tenderly, not tenderize it.
 
2011-02-03 10:05:43 AM

Generation_D: Scientific rigor is not something that is featured there. Standards really just bring a person down, could alter their moods, so they don't tend to believe too much in holding to them.


You're just prejudiced against alternative methods of knowing. Intuition, tribal folklore, Eastern mysticism, and spiritual awareness are just as valid as scientific rigor when it comes to finding truth. In fact, because science is tainted by the phalo-centric Western thought hegemony, such alternative methods are often better at revealing how the world works. Insisting that my statements adhere to some arbitrary method of statistical significance is just another form of oppression.
 
2011-02-03 10:10:48 AM

VictoryCabal: Generation_D: Scientific rigor is not something that is featured there. Standards really just bring a person down, could alter their moods, so they don't tend to believe too much in holding to them.

You're just prejudiced against alternative methods of knowing. Intuition, tribal folklore, Eastern mysticism, and spiritual awareness are just as valid as scientific rigor when it comes to finding truth. In fact, because science is tainted by the phalo-centric Western thought hegemony, such alternative methods are often better at revealing how the world works. Insisting that my statements adhere to some arbitrary method of statistical significance is just another form of oppression.


*golf clap*
 
2011-02-03 10:11:42 AM
It's a mixed up, jumbled up, shook up world.

Except for Lola.
 
2011-02-03 10:43:35 AM
Really? So I can make my wife wait half an hour while I primp?
 
2011-02-03 11:14:31 AM
Scumbags remain scumbags. Even the ones who hide it with their foppish and flowery "all joys" nonsense.

And you'll get over it.
 
2011-02-03 11:14:46 AM
24-year-old Mary Catenacci (left) from South Pasadena, CA and her friend, Kathy Sato on a girls night out. The two admit to going out twice a week and consider themselves very sociable.

I consider Mary very big.
 
2011-02-03 11:14:50 AM
So I am a lesbian now? I guess I need to be an Isuzu SUV and get a job at home depot.
 
2011-02-03 11:15:20 AM

VictoryCabal: You're just prejudiced against alternative methods of knowing. Intuition, tribal folklore, Eastern mysticism, and spiritual awareness are just as valid as scientific rigor when it comes to finding truth. In fact, because science is tainted by the phalo-centric Western thought hegemony, such alternative methods are often better at revealing how the world works. Insisting that my statements adhere to some arbitrary method of statistical significance is just another form of oppression.


A winrar is you!
 
2011-02-03 11:15:39 AM
Well that's what they want, right? Equality?
 
2011-02-03 11:15:42 AM
I feel stupider for having read that.

Kids, do never graduate with a soft sciences degree unless you want to sound like total morons, such as the article writer.
 
2011-02-03 11:16:10 AM

Fizpez: VictoryCabal: Generation_D: Scientific rigor is not something that is featured there. Standards really just bring a person down, could alter their moods, so they don't tend to believe too much in holding to them.

You're just prejudiced against alternative methods of knowing. Intuition, tribal folklore, Eastern mysticism, and spiritual awareness are just as valid as scientific rigor when it comes to finding truth. In fact, because science is tainted by the phalo-centric Western thought hegemony, such alternative methods are often better at revealing how the world works. Insisting that my statements adhere to some arbitrary method of statistical significance is just another form of oppression.

*golf clap*


Seconded.

That was beautiful.
 
2011-02-03 11:16:15 AM
I have found myself whoring around lately.
 
2011-02-03 11:16:54 AM

eddyatwork: FTA: And, across every age group, women want more independence than men in their relationships: 77% of women say having their personal space is "very important," vs. 58% for men; 78% of women say the same about having their own interests and hobbies (vs. 64% for men). And 35% of women (vs. 23% of men) say regular nights out with the guys/girls are important.

I'm calling bullshiat on this. I figure the researchers asked couples this while the guys were in the presence of their girlfriend. "Oh no, I love spending every minutes of my life with my snookums" and "Yes, I love having girl's night out once a week, DON'T I SNUGGLEBEAR!" were the most common responses.


Actually, I think that this is becoming much more standard for men. We've slowly removed some (certainly not all) of the need for men to be stereotypically masculine, which means men are freer to get in touch with our emotions. We're discovering, as a society, that men are not completely out of touch with emotion, are not all secretly Vulcans.

/it's also possible it's part of a secret Marxist conspiracy to put Estrogen in the tap water...
 
2011-02-03 11:17:34 AM
I'm calling bullshiat on this. I figure the researchers asked couples this while the guys were in the presence of their girlfriend. "Oh no, I love spending every minutes of my life with my snookums" and "Yes, I love having girl's night out once a week, DON'T I SNUGGLEBEAR!" were the most common responses.

These stats probably reflect expectations. For a man to be needy, clingy, expect the woman to always be around, etc is considered by many to be abnormal and a turn off to many women. Conversely, a lot of men probably just expect/ assume that women will behave in this manner, true or not.

/your results or expectations may vary
 
2011-02-03 11:17:34 AM

Guns n' Farkin Roses: 24-year-old Mary Catenacci (left) from South Pasadena, CA and her friend, Kathy Sato on a girls night out. The two admit to going out twice a week and consider themselves very sociable.

I consider Mary very big.


Her friend is too.
 
2011-02-03 11:17:36 AM

Gulper Eel: Really? So I can make my wife wait half an hour while I primp?


I swore that said pimp and it gave this conversation a whole new spin
 
2011-02-03 11:18:35 AM

VictoryCabal: Generation_D: Scientific rigor is not something that is featured there. Standards really just bring a person down, could alter their moods, so they don't tend to believe too much in holding to them.

You're just prejudiced against alternative methods of knowing. Intuition, tribal folklore, Eastern mysticism, and spiritual awareness are just as valid as scientific rigor when it comes to finding truth. In fact, because science is tainted by the phalo-centric Western thought hegemony, such alternative methods are often better at revealing how the world works. Insisting that my statements adhere to some arbitrary method of statistical significance is just another form of oppression.


I've heard people talk like this, and I laughed then too.

/+1
 
2011-02-03 11:18:36 AM
"Men are now expressing some traditionally female attitudes."

Whatever it takes to get laid.
 
2011-02-03 11:19:13 AM
DNRTFA...

("unzips").........


Um, No, STUBBY...NO.....I have a PENIS...Americans PENIS. Wow! Penis so big! SOOO big penis!" ....


leeinchina.com
 
2011-02-03 11:20:25 AM
www.apersonaltech.com

Yes, I'm sure the land whale on the left is just embracing her independance and enjoying being single. The solo midnight Ben & Jerry's gorging while slumped in front of the fridge crying is related to something else entirely...
 
2011-02-03 11:20:32 AM

eddyatwork: FTA: And, across every age group, women want more independence than men in their relationships: 77% of women say having their personal space is "very important," vs. 58% for men; 78% of women say the same about having their own interests and hobbies (vs. 64% for men). And 35% of women (vs. 23% of men) say regular nights out with the guys/girls are important.

I'm calling bullshiat on this. I figure the researchers asked couples this while the guys were in the presence of their girlfriend. "Oh no, I love spending every minutes of my life with my snookums" and "Yes, I love having girl's night out once a week, DON'T I SNUGGLEBEAR!" were the most common responses.


This.

I'll agree that dudes are becoming more pussified, but women seem to be the same entitled princesses they always were.

I'll believe the latter half when women start demanding dudes put out on a first date, paying for meals, and operating power-tools.
 
2011-02-03 11:21:02 AM
"Men and women are looking for similar assets and are not judging a potential partner on the basis of gender-related traits - that a woman is looking for a paycheck object or a man is looking for a sex object," she says. "They're both looking for the whole package, more so than in the past."

Yep. This is one of the ways in which feminism has helped men, too: thinking of your partner as an equal results in a better, more stable relationship.
 
2011-02-03 11:21:46 AM
Could just be confirmation bias, but most of the single guys I know (not all), whine about how they just want a girlfriend. The girls I know who are dating people keep trying to get it to be casual, while the guys are pushing for commitment.
 
2011-02-03 11:22:49 AM

animal900: Yes, I'm sure the land whale on the left is just embracing her independance and enjoying being single. The solo midnight Ben & Jerry's gorging while slumped in front of the fridge crying is related to something else entirely...


I thought a pint of Ben & Jerry's counted as a boyfriend.

OMG YOU MEAN I'M SINGLE?!
 
2011-02-03 11:23:03 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: xanadian: And lovemaking tips are now being taken from meatspin.com.

They said to have it done tenderly, not tenderize it.


Goddamnitsomuch. I even had to copy/paste it. Whyyyyyy?! :D
 
2011-02-03 11:23:17 AM

Silenced is foo: I'll believe the latter half when women start demanding dudes put out on a first date, paying for meals, and operating power-tools.


From the article: Erik Larsen, 27, of Washington, says a woman picking up the check "is perfectly acceptable" - when you're dating, he says, "it's a give-and-take sort of thing."

Maybe you're just dating the wrong type of women. Or rather, maybe the right type of women are avoiding you.
 
2011-02-03 11:23:36 AM
Well that was disappointing. A study commissioned by Match.com? I've read Helen Fisher and Stephanie Coontz before, and I expect better from them. Fisher especially is very interesting to read. I'm curious to read the actual study now.
 
2011-02-03 11:24:18 AM
I think it's more that women expect men to hold to traditional gender roles (paying for everything, gifts, etc...) but don't want to hold up their end of the deal anymore.
 
2011-02-03 11:25:00 AM
My wife summarizes me as becoming a 5-year old.
 
2011-02-03 11:25:00 AM

PrivateCaboose: I thought a pint of Ben & Jerry's counted as a boyfriend.

OMG YOU MEAN I'M SINGLE?!


Don't worry, the battery-operated variety still count.
 
2011-02-03 11:25:39 AM

Thoguh: I think it's more that women expect men to hold to traditional gender roles (paying for everything, gifts, etc...) but don't want to hold up their end of the deal anymore.


I don't expect a man to give me gifts or pay for everything.

I assumed going dutch was fine with everyone, unless he insists on taking me to a restaurant I can't afford.
 
2011-02-03 11:26:05 AM
rlv.zcache.com

eddyatwork

I'm calling bullshiat on this. I figure the researchers asked couples this while the guys were in the presence of their girlfriend. "Oh no, I love spending every minutes of my life with my snookums" and "Yes, I love having girl's night out once a week, DON'T I SNUGGLEBEAR!" were the most common responses.

Pretty much this ^^. I'd say whatever it took to get regular poon. After I was sure she'd shut her va-jay-jay down for the remainder of the relationship, I'd kick her to the curb.

/So, what do you call that useless flap of skin around the vagina? The woman!
 
2011-02-03 11:26:14 AM

Guns n' Farkin Roses: 24-year-old Mary Catenacci (left) from South Pasadena, CA and her friend, Kathy Sato on a girls night out. The two admit to going out twice a week and consider themselves very sociable.

I consider Mary very big.


I came here to say it. Thanks for pointing out the more obvious reason why she's still single.
 
2011-02-03 11:29:45 AM

Thoguh: I think it's more that women expect men to hold to traditional gender roles (paying for everything, gifts, etc...) but don't want to hold up their end of the deal anymore.


you sound like you have a case of "nice guy" complex...

/most relationships these days are 50-50...
 
2011-02-03 11:30:20 AM
Women need to stop talking and start with the sammich making STAT.
 
2011-02-03 11:30:44 AM

KiMi_sweets: Guns n' Farkin Roses: 24-year-old Mary Catenacci (left) from South Pasadena, CA and her friend, Kathy Sato on a girls night out. The two admit to going out twice a week and consider themselves very sociable.

I consider Mary very big.

I came here to say it. Thanks for pointing out the more obvious reason why she's still single.


Hey now. Land whales need love, too. But they gotta pay.
 
2011-02-03 11:32:48 AM

PrivateCaboose: KiMi_sweets: Guns n' Farkin Roses: 24-year-old Mary Catenacci (left) from South Pasadena, CA and her friend, Kathy Sato on a girls night out. The two admit to going out twice a week and consider themselves very sociable.

I consider Mary very big.

I came here to say it. Thanks for pointing out the more obvious reason why she's still single.

Hey now. Land whales need love, too. But they gotta pay.


obamiconme.pastemagazine.com
 
2011-02-03 11:33:04 AM

Thoguh: I think it's more that women expect men to hold to traditional gender roles (paying for everything, gifts, etc...) but don't want to hold up their end of the deal anymore.


And what is that deal, exactly?

I buy my husband gifts, including two nice watches at this point in our relationship. We cook together, clean equally and our sex life is just fine.

So according to you, because he gives me a card on Valentines day I should...what?
 
2011-02-03 11:33:34 AM

PrivateCaboose: Could just be confirmation bias, but most of the single guys I know (not all), whine about how they just want a girlfriend. The girls I know who are dating people keep trying to get it to be casual, while the guys are pushing for commitment.


Nope, this is what's happening. Men are becoming more like women and vice-versa. It's happening in big cities first, like everything else does.

I find myself waiting by the phone more, as women become less reliable and more selfish, while I have come to realize that my usefulness is less and less obvious. Women have their own money, career, social circle. They really don't need us any more, except to feed them for the six months or so they take off of work to have a baby. After that, it's child support for the rest.

Sucks, but we're pretty much obsolete, except for dangerous, difficult physical labor and fighting wars. The effort to stay relevant makes us come off as needy and insecure, which of course is poison, making the whole thing worse.

I have to date women from the suburbs, who haven't figured it out yet :(
 
2011-02-03 11:33:59 AM

raanne: Thoguh: I think it's more that women expect men to hold to traditional gender roles (paying for everything, gifts, etc...) but don't want to hold up their end of the deal anymore.

you sound like you have a case of "nice guy" complex...

/most relationships these days are 50-50...


Exactly. The next thing we'll start hearing is how much American women suck and of course those Bolivian women are SO much more loving of their man and would NEVER take a man for granted. *eyeroll*
 
2011-02-03 11:34:29 AM

PrivateCaboose: Could just be confirmation bias, but most of the single guys I know (not all), whine about how they just want a girlfriend. The girls I know who are dating people keep trying to get it to be casual, while the guys are pushing for commitment.


I've noticed this too but I'm likewise sure it's mostly my social circle, not society at large, and it's only been the last couple years as we get into late 20's early 30's.
 
2011-02-03 11:35:52 AM
Most people I see who jump from relationship to relationship do it because they need everyone to see them in a relationship. Also gender roles are changing because the parents who raised them probably never showed them much love and affection, and all they did was compete with their siblings for what little the parental units had to offer. Kids who jump into relationships just to tell everyone they have them and turn out to be with the wrong people are just asking for trouble. Not to mention with todays society, people change so much faster.

Back in the good ol days you molded into a man after a few years of work, today you sometimes stick to college well into your 20's then only after a few years of working and socializing outside a college setting do you actually grow up and mature and start to mold into who you are. People who stick with the same relationships during those changes always end up with issues, divorce, nasty breakups, etc.

These days kids go crazy if they aren't alone, they are shallow and superficial, and desperately need that person to help build and mold them. If you can't spend a weekend alone just relaxing after a long work week, then you need to see a psychiatrist, because sorry folks, you are not a normal healthy balanced person.

/get off my lawn
 
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