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(The Smoking Gun)   Read the complaint against Kobe Bryant   ( divider line
    More: Followup  
•       •       •

18870 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2003 at 5:51 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

105 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-07-18 05:56:26 PM  
I did not assault the woman who is accusing me. I made the mistake of adultery.

Didn't he initially say that absolutely nothing happened?
2003-07-18 05:57:05 PM  
Well. Unpleasant.
2003-07-18 05:57:55 PM  
2003-07-18 05:58:48 PM  
Damn. TSG is fast.
2003-07-18 05:58:49 PM  
and may i be the first to say: kobe 'bean' bryant'?


maybe the meant bear..
2003-07-18 06:01:09 PM  
No, you may not be, Just_the_Claps.
2003-07-18 06:01:45 PM  
here's how I understand it.

kobe hit it, she wanted kobe to leave his wife for her. he said hell no biatch. then they got into an arguement. she was pissed and wanted revenge so she went to the police like the biatch she is and made allegations that he raped her.
2003-07-18 06:03:08 PM  
Man, am I ever glad they've got some SANE nurses on the witness list. Because inSANE nurses...they just don't make good witnesses, you know?
2003-07-18 06:03:20 PM  
I have insider info: he's guilty.
2003-07-18 06:03:31 PM  
I knew he did it!
2003-07-18 06:04:29 PM  
I have insider info: he's not guilty.

now you see how easy it is for anybody to write that?
2003-07-18 06:06:18 PM  
How come they can't just say rape? We should all know what rape means. How come it's always sexual assault? Sexual assault seems so ambiguous.
2003-07-18 06:07:31 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

2003-07-18 06:07:56 PM  
2003-07-18 05:56:26 PM Miles_OToole
Didn't he initially say that absolutely nothing happened?

I think he said the charges weren't true; he never said nothing happened.
2003-07-18 06:09:42 PM  
Is the woman named "Cher" or "X" or some one letter name? The blacked-out part of the complaint makes it appear that her name is about two characters long.
2003-07-18 06:09:49 PM  
What a shame. Have you seen this guys wife? Smoke'n hot. Why mess that up? What a shame.
2003-07-18 06:14:09 PM  
Yvonne "Missy" Woods, Laboratory Agent/Crimanilist

...this is gonna be a good one!
2003-07-18 06:15:24 PM  
I have insider info:

I like cheese.

That is all.
2003-07-18 06:15:26 PM  
All just a plot to keep the Lakers from their rightful place as World Champions.

(getting my tinfoil hat out)
2003-07-18 06:16:27 PM  
GCK, you might be onto something.
2003-07-18 06:17:48 PM  
I bet he's kicking himself right now that he didn't let her cuddle afterwards.
2003-07-18 06:20:30 PM  
This is all just a plot to increase Kobe's street cred by giving him a thug image like Spree, AI, etc.
2003-07-18 06:21:34 PM  
Didn't he initially say that absolutely nothing happened?

they all initially say nothing happened. i hope he didn't do this. i would like my son to be able to look up to sports figures and right now it's not lookin like there will be any i even want him to know the name of.:(
2003-07-18 06:21:45 PM  
2003-07-18 06:21:58 PM  
Sad to say, it's perfectly legal and right for a woman to change her story after the fact. A woman's word is gold, and a man's only defense is to deny. Look anywhere and you'll see feminists championing this legal victory. The only thing that makes this particular case unique from the thousands of others that have been successfully prosecuted is that this time, it happened to a popular celebrity.
2003-07-18 06:22:59 PM  
GCK: I can imagine it's easy to get insider info since it is so easy to get insider pants!

/Thank you! Try the fish!
2003-07-18 06:23:40 PM  
If he wanted a thug image, why doesn't he rob a bank?

He's got money, he's got booty. Why would he need more of either?
2003-07-18 06:26:07 PM  
they all initially say nothing happened. i hope he didn't do this. i would like my son to be able to look up to sports figures and right now it's not lookin like there will be any i even want him to know the name of.:(

Tim Duncan. Wait... he's not a flashy egomaniacal bastard, so maybe he isn't a real sports figure.
Sadly... that is not sarcasm. Duncan is underappreciated because he isn't an asshat.
2003-07-18 06:26:22 PM  
More likely the story was that she got hit by monster NBA mandingo dong and after the painful farking told him to pay up or else. He didn't and she went to the cops. And since he didn't wrap the monster and gave her a cream pie that was all the evidence they needed to charge his ass. Not to mention that her twat is now stretched out enough to almost accommidate a Kenworth. No self respecting guy would hit that anymore.

Kobe: you should have pulled out and sprayed it in her face dude.

/too much pr0n
2003-07-18 06:27:06 PM  
she got jungle fever
2003-07-18 06:27:23 PM  
because then nike couldn't market his news kicks as the "kobe assault". because let's face it, after you burn someone and take it to the hole it's just too fun to say "I just sexually assaulted yo azz!"

dot dot dot
2003-07-18 06:28:52 PM  
I think puffy999 has a crush on Tim Duncan.
2003-07-18 06:29:13 PM  
The "Bean" comes from his pops Joe "Jellybean" Bryant
2003-07-18 06:30:30 PM  
«I have to answer to my wife and my God for my actions that night and I pray that both will forgive me.»

... and I refuse to comment on what I may or may not have done in any other city on any other date.
2003-07-18 06:33:12 PM  
MR. ORANGE: You said "True Blue" was about a
nice girl who finds a sensitive
fella. But "Like a Virgin" was a
metaphor for big dicks.

MR. PINK: Let me tell ya what "Like a
Virgin"'s about. It's about some
cooze who's a regular fark
I mean all the time, morning, day,
night, afternoon, dick, dick,
dick, dick, dick,
dick, dick, dick, dick, dick,

MR. BLUE: How many dicks was that?

MR. WHITE: A lot.

MR. PINK: Then one day she meets a John
Holmes motherfarker, and it's
like, whoa baby. This mother
farker's like Charles Bronson in
"The Great Escape." He's diggin
tunnels. Now she's gettin this
serious dick action, she's feelin
something she ain't felt since
forever. Pain.

JOE: Chew? Toby Chew? No.

MR. PINK: It hurts. It hurts her. It
shouldn't hurt. Her pussy should
be Bubble-Yum by now. But when
this cat farks her, it hurts. It
hurts like the first time. The
pain is reminding a fark machine
what is was like to be a virgin.
Hence, "Like a Virgin."
2003-07-18 06:34:30 PM  
Go Spurs!
2003-07-18 06:36:25 PM  
He's my homey! Gotta love the Big Fundamental.

Actually, Garnett is a cool guy too. Better in the regular season, but Duncan is the playoff man.
2003-07-18 06:38:33 PM  
tim duncan takes the 'fun' out of fundamental...leaving just damental.
2003-07-18 06:45:55 PM  
Too much money - too little time = I think I'm God.

This has to stop somewhere.
2003-07-18 06:45:57 PM  
I can't decide which would be more embarassing:

Being charged with sexual assault.
Having people know that your name is Bean.
2003-07-18 06:48:51 PM  
He's guilty and he'll settle out of court before it comes to a decision. I want to see a picture of this chick.
2003-07-18 06:50:28 PM  
Hey FARK is flying now. New MOBO?

I can make my idiotic comments without delay!

w00t! w00t!
2003-07-18 06:51:06 PM  
i would like my son to be able to look up to sports figures

Good luck with that
2003-07-18 06:51:25 PM  
Menawhile, on a totally unrelated not - congress has taken a disturbing turn and started a bout of blantant name calling...from Drudge

By any standards, today represented a low point in the history of congressional comity. Democrats accused the GOP of running a police state; Republicans recounted how one Democratic member of the panel called a Republican colleague "you little fruitcake" in the midst of the standoff.

Someone please post this up...
2003-07-18 06:51:33 PM  
"Little White Chicks and Big Black Monster Dicks", Kobe probably saw this video and related this chick to one of the girls in the video, not realizing that not all little white chicks can handle that much dick. I bet he hurt that little girl and she panicked!

Damn you Jake Steed!
2003-07-18 06:51:45 PM  
This biatch is just a gold-digging whore.

And who really gives a shiat about him cheating on his wife? Thats what celebrities do. Rock stars, athletes, actors, they all cheat because they can. They only get married just so they can say they are married, and the spouses just want the cash and attention that comes from being married to a celebrity.

Like Marilyn Manson said - Autographs, handshakes, and blowjobs, it's all part of the job.

Lakers suck.
2003-07-18 06:55:04 PM  
Without trying to sound judgemental, he is obviously guilty and should spend the better part of his days farking with prison guards and cons.

We should be focusing attention on the asshat who plowed into those people in Cali, and how his geezer butt should be locked away for the few remaining moments of his life.
2003-07-18 06:56:21 PM  

These are criminal charges being prosecuted by the state. There is no "settling out of court" on criminal charges, you're thinking of the inevitable civil trial.

2003-07-18 06:57:06 PM  
He's screwed.
2003-07-18 07:01:57 PM  
Unless there's a witness, which it looks like there's not, Kobe's probably ok as far as the law is concerned. Sexual stuff is the hardest to prove, especially since he admitted to having sex with her. That said, he's probably guilty. Most criminal defendents are.
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