Mr Kelly, I'd like you to meet J. Clifford Baxter. I'm sure you have a lot in common.

/tin-foiled again

Oliver Stone
Art Bell
Liberals!

On your mark. Get set! GO!

They probably hired Hilary Clinton to do the dirty work.

"30 gunshot wounds in the back? Worse case of suicide I ever saw!"

/Vince Foster

piece of paper found in man's pocket reading:

oops..

Johnny English

I'd comment in this thread, but I wouldn't want to end up dead also...

Boy, I would have never saw that one coming!
I bet if this guy had some WoMD's stuffed in his trousers he could have at least defended himself.

No really, where's the WoMD's when you really, really need em?

Woah. Excellent use of the scary tag.

getting dark, dark overtones on this one. Some seriously fishy shiat goin' on here.

/runs to northern Canada

Rogue Schientisht found dead - and you're accushing me? Shorely shome mishtake. Shpeak to my good friend mishter Campbell.

He was killed by the NyQuil Crimson Guards after he got to close to curing the common cold.

MI-5 just poked his body with a stick.

The report was "sexed up"...and we know sex trade workers are at the most risk...coincidence?

I think not.

I think it was alien pimps from Area 51. The same ones trying to get Australia to be the 51st state.

51...51...see that? Area 51? Australia, the 51st state? This guy was born in '51...

(5+1)+(5+1)+(5+1)=666

IT'S THE DEVIL!!!

/It's the queers! They're in it with the aliens! They're building landing strips for GAY MARTIANS! I swear to God Stuart. I like you. You're not like the other people...here in the trailer park.

I, for one, find this to be not in the least bit suspicious........

/hides

Do not FARK with the government.

*Preps for the coming flame war*

Of course, Andrew Gilligan had him killed so he would have something more to write about.

/conspiracy theory

I can't wait to see FOX News' headline.

"Presumed Suicide Of Deranged British Scientist Should Be Of No Concern To You At All."

Nah. 3-1 they just don't cover it at all.

That'll learn'em!

Yeah, and Hillary had Vince Foster killed.

Why in the hell do all the loony conspiracy nuts on the right and the left latch onto this crap?

This story ranks right up there with the Jenin Massacre.

Ahhhh... The rewards of a posted tale.

Since I posted the tale, I should probably get a disguise, change my name to GoFlesh.com and lay low for a while.

My name is probably on a list now.

To the CIA and MI5....
I am sorry that I made those derogatory comments on that Iraqi war thing and how the whole WMD thing was fake.

/does anybody know of a 'discreet' moving company?

I heard he had been artificially inseminated with the love child of Vince Foster and Jack Ruby, and was carrying it as a breach birth.

If I end up dead, you have confirmation that this is true.

I'm sure George Tenet has resigned himself to not going for walks by himself either.

Hehehe. Oopsy.

What a maroon.

/It's the queers! They're in it with the aliens! They're building landing strips for GAY MARTIANS! I swear to God Stuart. I like you. You're not like the other people...here in the trailer park.

Hahahahah!! DO YOU KNOW!! WHAT THE QUEERS!! ARE DOING TO OUR SOIL??!?

That said.....this is some scary shiat. I'm no conspiracy theorist, but this is enough to make even me put on my paranoia bonnet.

"British intelligence sources say..." - and those that don't - wind up dead.

"British intelligence sources say..." - and those that don't wind up dead.

I won't be scared until it's found he was killed by a ricin pellet from an umbrella.

another pointless waste of life due to a pointless wasteful war.

Who would have thought that 'weapons of mass destruction' was an acronym for 'weapons of ministry advisers and scientific staff destruction'.

Subjects of the New American Century, pay no attention to these lies, resume work detail until further orders are issued. Tune in to FOX News tonight after work detail for reprogramming.

peter_hook Nice DM reference.

So, who wants to start up an Iraq War deadpool?

I think though, that Hussein should be disallowed, we can't seem to catch him for shiat.

3Horn

Come on people, HOP TO IT! We need to jump to conclusions before they find out what actually killed him. Hurry up, time is running out.

Only a handful of tinfoil trendsetters on this thread. At least the FARK slowdown has done some good.

Chalk up another death on the Moleman Death-0-Meter.

Come on people, HOP TO IT! We need to jump to conclusions before they find out what actually killed him. Hurry up, time is running out.


Come on, people, contemplation and speculation are BAD! We need to wait for someone to tell us what to think! Who cares if it looks suspicious, save your "thinking" for something else!

Barf.

Agreed TCS, though the speed seems to be picking up. Maybe the replacement for the replacement motherboard came in?



Sounds like anytime someone died during the Clinton Presidency.

3Horn

I like how the cops waste no time to plant the seeds of the suicide theory in the media.

I also like "His disappearance and failure to make contact with anyone is described by his family as 'out of character.'"

Well, duh. As opposed to what? "His family noted that he used to do this all the time - it was the fifth time that he had disappeared for days and turned up dead in a ditch."

RagingLeonard:
Gotta love the "They Live" reference.

A-hem...That should have been:

Rayonic
Come on people, HOP TO IT! We need to jump to conclusions before they find out what actually killed him. Hurry up, time is running out.

Sounds like anytime someone died during the Clinton Presidency.

3Horn

I think it was Amelia Earhart and the Lindbergh baby working together. They didn't kill him, they just took his soul and then they all went to chill in the Bermuda triangle with goodvibegirl. It's true, guys.

Or he was the real Mr. X.
See you on the iiiiisland....

Here is a scary read from the "

Project for a New American Century

"

With Tony visiting George and getting ready to strong arm Abbas... Well... This "Mystery Death" is suddenly not so mysterious....

Isn't it just a bit "Peculiar" that Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld happen to be board members with this New American Century "Think Tank"?
I think not.

Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo Stick!

Dissent:
Has the coroner's report been released yet? I'm not moving on until I hear a little more about the cause of death. All you farkin Henny Pennys calm down, have a beer, let's see what unfolds...

POW! He was decapitated!

3Horn