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(RedOrbit)   Your bed is full of ugly-ass dust mites eating your dead skin (with photo)   (rednova.com) divider line 42
    More: Scary  
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21276 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jul 2003 at 1:30 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2003-07-17 10:16:56 AM  
I had a couple as pets. They are easy to train, but man are they high maintenance mites. You gotta brush em constantly.
 
2003-07-17 01:37:46 PM  
I live in a bubble so they can't get me. It's kind of cramped but I feel safe, but everytime I fart it lingers for hours.
 
2003-07-17 01:41:34 PM  

Goldmember: [picking skin off his back] Ooh yesh! Yesh yesh yesh yeshiathis is a keeper!
Dr. Evil: Aaaalright... you're not going to put that skin in your mouth, are you?
Goldmember: [eats piece of skin]
Dr. Evil: You did... ok... that's just gross!
[Mini me cringes and shakes head]
Goldmember: Yesh, salty! Yesh that was good!


That scene had me and my fasia rolling in laughter !


 
2003-07-17 01:42:15 PM  
SQUEEEEE
 
2003-07-17 01:44:06 PM  
Nothing like the smell of your own farts for a robust rich flavor.

Nothing like killing kittens and knowing your man batter is probably touching some gross organisms.
 
2003-07-17 01:44:28 PM  
my allergy tests came back positive when tested with dust mites.

i have a cover for my matress and pillow.

It's sorta like a pillow cover, but a little thicker and it zippers. It's suppose to reduce dust mites.

If I wack someone over the head with my pillow, no dust comes flying out like you'd normally expect.

Those covers set me back like $100. Expensive. /mad
 
2003-07-17 01:44:48 PM  
Looks like I have a new pic for my background.
 
2003-07-17 01:48:48 PM  
"In both cases, the bedcovers -- designed to prevent dust mite particles from reaching sleepers -- reduced exposure to allergy-causing proteins."

This article sure is a scoop.
'Bout dust mites, I'm now in the loop.
But, be realistic
And not euphemistic...
Those "proteins" are really their poop.

/and the dreaded limerick returns
 
2003-07-17 01:52:46 PM  
ClarkenBigD

Looks like I have a new pic for my background.

Me too.
 
2003-07-17 01:52:57 PM  
Pardon me while I mix tonight's batch of caffine, meth and No-Doze. /can't sleep, mites will get me
 
2003-07-17 01:52:57 PM  
Hey, where'd they get a picture of my bed and my dead skin? I'm suing.
 
2003-07-17 01:55:16 PM  
That's why I wet the bed. It pisses the little farkers off.

Well, them and my wife.
 
2003-07-17 01:59:39 PM  
It reminded me of that story in Creepshow. The clean living didn't help E.G. Marshall's character.

(pic was a bit too big for the board.)
 
2003-07-17 02:02:56 PM  
The Secret House is a book that describes a typical house on the microscopic level, including dust mites, etc. Pretty interesting stuff.
 
2003-07-17 02:11:37 PM  
I don't care, as long as they're not eating my living skin.
 
2003-07-17 02:18:59 PM  
h2ogate: you mean, pretty disgusting stuff.

"Modern" houses are disgusting. In many ways, dirtier than more "primitive" dwellings. What with all the upholstery and wall to wall carpeting.

Give me traditional Japanese style housing or give me death. Wood floors, some floor pillows for comfort (you can wash of course)..., wood support and structure (and other natural materials)... paper walls (plenty of ventilation, no dust build up)...
 
2003-07-17 02:19:16 PM  
If there were no dust mites in your bed, your exfoliated skin cells would eventually collect in piles on your bed. So, they're not a bad thing. They are a very, very good thing for vacuum cleaner salesmen, since if they can secure permission to put a pillow under a microscope, the typical housewife freaks out and buys the expensive unnecessary vacuum.
 
2003-07-17 02:21:15 PM  
I sleep better knowing this. I hate to sleep alone.

And, the roaches were the best part of Creepshow. We just discussed that scene in my office yesterday after a rogue roach attacked one of our editors. Cool.
 
2003-07-17 02:36:42 PM  
And then they poop. And their poop makes me cough, a lot. :(
 
2003-07-17 02:48:11 PM  
I remember seeing a 20/20 report on places that sell second-hand mattresses, or "reconditioned" mattresses.

DON'T EVER BUY A MATTRESS UNLESS IT'S NEW!

Virtually all of them they tested came back with really high levels of not only mites, but dried urine and fecal matter.
Yep, fecal matter.

"Smithers, prepare the Spruce Moose."
 
2003-07-17 02:48:43 PM  
If you think this is creepy, find a picture of the mites that live on your eyebrows. Now those are some scary mofos.
 
2003-07-17 02:59:40 PM  
That thing looks just like Cthulhu.
 
2003-07-17 03:08:55 PM  
when I left college I took a job selling Kirby vacuum cleaners (I was young and very broke). The essential part of the sales kit was a huge blow up of one of those mites. Ask the person whose house your in what they do at night when their mouth is dry. Usually they said drink some water. You then proceed to run the machine over the top of the mattress, lift out the sample pad with all the dust and muck that came out then show the pic and say "That's inside this. Want to mix it in with your water?"

I lasted 3 days.
 
2003-07-17 03:12:43 PM  
your = you're. sheesh
 
2003-07-17 03:13:05 PM  
 
2003-07-17 03:23:19 PM  
I prefer to think of the mites as my little recyclers.
 
2003-07-17 03:41:16 PM  
overlord: nice.
 
2003-07-17 03:52:16 PM  
At least i now know my uncle Teddy isn't the only who who eats peoples skin.
 
2003-07-17 03:52:18 PM  
Thoses microscopic bastards cause me to have sneeze attacks every morning until I take my claratin and am all better.

/little buggas
 
2003-07-17 03:53:32 PM  
And boy am I glad they do that, too. God, you have any idea how deep the world would be in human skin if these mites didn't exist?

Talk about sick.
 
2003-07-17 04:22:15 PM  
Yes, there are lots of microscopic creatures all around us, living next to, on, and inside us, all the time. Ooooo, creepy.
 
2003-07-17 04:27:51 PM  
[b]overlord[/b]:
that's great..
 
2003-07-17 05:26:16 PM  
I LAID EGGS IN YOUR HEAD!

/squee
 
2003-07-17 06:17:09 PM  
It's not the dust mites I'm afraid of...



That's right. Fear the evil monkey.
 
2003-07-17 06:28:55 PM  
I went to lie down in my bed
with visions of mites in my head
A big can of "Raid"
is my bug grenade
and all of those insects are dead.

/Right behind you, MaxxLarge.
 
2003-07-17 08:57:17 PM  
What the hell they are fricking microscopic bugs... They are good little things...
 
2003-07-17 09:59:59 PM  
Microscopic bugs eat your dead flesh. Blood is Red. The sky is blue. My mother can't cook.
So over it.
 
2003-07-17 10:02:13 PM  
Actually, it's the mites' feces that causes the problems. Their turds are so small they float around like dust and you inhale 'em. Causes sneezing fits in some people.

Now excuse me while I go wash my sheets.
 
2003-07-18 02:12:07 AM  
Hmm, this mite cause for a change in bedding.
 
2003-07-18 02:32:50 AM  
Actually, the bugs that live in your eyelashes are worms (annelidae), not mites. I prefer to think of this as a symbiotic relationship. If not, I believe I would go crazy.
 
2003-07-18 03:19:57 AM  
umm, I thought fark was a """""news""""""" site, I think i first heard story/saw pics of em for like 10years ago ffs.

atleast act like its the year 2003 imo
 
2003-07-18 03:38:52 AM  

Haiku:


while slamming my wife
a million mites are slaughtered
please think of the mites

 
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