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(   North Korean cyborg army may pose threat to national security   ( divider line
    More: Satire  
•       •       •

7166 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jul 2003 at 8:45 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

16 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-07-17 08:47:41 AM  
Damn machines. When will they ever learn?
2003-07-17 09:14:16 AM  
Terminator 3 sucked.
2003-07-17 09:32:59 AM  
I really wanted this article to be funny.

2003-07-17 09:33:14 AM  
posted this for the show position.

/absolutely nuttin.
2003-07-17 09:34:46 AM  


/too depressed by the utter lameness of this "satire" to even summon the energy to mock it
2003-07-17 09:58:35 AM  
Worse. Than. BBspot.
2003-07-17 10:02:13 AM  
That article was "comedic anti-matter"

/recalls Pluto Nash
2003-07-17 10:02:50 AM  
the article rocked. all you lame asses who think you can write so. bet you can't. morons.
2003-07-17 10:26:50 AM  
This article was funnier the first time when it was on the Onion.
2003-07-17 10:44:10 AM  
You Farkers would've voted for Dat Phan as the Last Comic Standing.
2003-07-17 10:57:14 AM  
I find North Korea very difficult to take seriously...Kim Jong-Il nearly manages to have less credibility that George W. Bush.

/ye gods, this thread doesn't lend itself well to biting, incisive commentary
2003-07-17 11:10:39 AM  
Come on, if your're going to write satire get your facts right. Nissan makes the Sentra, not Kia. Now the Kia Sephia, there's a frightening car. (it rhymes)
2003-07-17 11:58:32 AM  
This stuff is just bad. I keep submitting stuff from other sources and never get on. Is this some kind of link exhange only, cause if so, I will just stop trying.

I submitted this yesterday and... nothing.

Nike Signs Tucker Carlson To $100 Million Shoe Eating Deal

Washington, D.C. Nike has claimed another top prize in the celebrity endorsement sweepstakes: the brash wit of Tucker Carlson, who recently agreed to eat his shoes on national television in response to unexpected sales of Hilary Clintons Living History. Although Carlson is already a fixture on the Sunday morning punditry circuit, even close party members were shocked by Nike's announcement today that it had signed the follically gifted Washington insider to a seven year shoe-eating deal worth a reported $100 million. Nike, just weeks after inking a record-setting deal with high school baller LeBron James, saw the Carlson signing as an opportunity to reach a previously underserved market: upper-middle class, bow-tie-wearing whites. Carlson, too, saw an opportunity for synergy. Nike was an obvious choice, Carlson told gathered media at this afternoons conference, half the sole is air. Carlson celebrated the event by dining with several politically advantageous friends. Its a great day, remarked Carlson, I can finally buy my moms that third summer house.
2003-07-17 12:21:21 PM  
OK so one of you kids explain to me what it is to "teepee" so the old codgers can go to bed.
2003-07-17 12:51:09 PM  
Ha-Ha Ha-Ha-Ha This idea was so original!

Oh, wait. It was already on The Onion:

Responding to mounting pressure and increasingly confrontational rhetoric from the outside world, North Korean president Kim Jong Il unfolded into a 70-foot-
tall, 62-ton giant robot Monday.

'If we add Kim Jong Il's transformation into a giant robot to his already defiant isolationist stance and his country's known nuclear capability, the diplomatic terrain definitely becomes more rocky,' U.S. envoy James Kelly said. 'Kim has made it clear that, if sufficiently threatened, he will not hesitate to use nuclear weapons or his arm-mounted HyperBazooka.'

'We are also forced to consider the possibility that Kim may attempt to robo-meld with other members of the Axis of Evil, forming a MegaMecha-Optima-Robosoldier. Kim would make a powerful right arm -- or even a torso -- for such a mechanism.'
2003-07-17 01:32:10 PM  
Laaaaaaaaaaame. It was written by "bitter" on "angryworld dot motherf*cking com"

It's all so WILD and EDGY, it makes me want to FEAST on my own shiat!
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