FARK.com: Blog (Drew): Drew's stuck dealing with lawyers today, but in the meantime here are some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/16

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Drew's stuck dealing with lawyers today, but in the meantime here are some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/16 - 1/22
Posted by Drew at 2011-01-26 1:49:42 PM (54 comments) | Permalink

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From Unfreakable,

Howdy everybody, Drew is head-down with the patent lawsuit thing, so he's either meeting with lawyers, talking to lawyers on the phone, or getting information from lawyers.

He'll be back whenever he comes up for air, but I have no idea when that might be. In the meantime, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-01-16 to Sat 2011-01-22:

Man dies investigating 12K volt line that fell in yard, additional family members die in rescue attempt. Survivors not shocked at all

Is that a swordfish in your pocket or are you just pleased sashimi?

Woman facing charges after punching a police horse in the nose. Woman only pawn in game of life

Obama holding first China state dinner in 13 years. Another to be held an hour later when everyone's hungry again

Major earthquake leaves remote area of Pakistan looking exactly the same

Aluminum heist foiled

B.C. man hit by stray bullet in Mexico. DAMN YOU, TIME-TRAVELING BULLETS

Man wearing Obama mask robs banks, demands change

NBC exec Jeff Zucker can breathe a sigh of relief: Honolulu jury finds that beating a peacock to death is not animal cruelty

Woman killed in fire was kind, generous, warm

Chicago bound plane makes emergency landing at Oakland airport, unaware nothing in the air could be more dangerous as Oakland, CA

Sports:

A winter day, bleak and dreary. The fans begged out for three points more. Quoth the Raven: We failed to score

Man wins $1 million in Virginia Lottery's Redskins Legacy game, marking the first successful Redskins lottery pick since Snyder bought the team

Toronto's Mike Komisarek accused of punching a woman in the face. No word yet on which Ottawa Senator was the victim

Geek:

Robotic flying insects build structures out of super magnetic Legos, all while buzzing angrily. Feel free to forward any questions to: Submitter, Hiding Under Bed, State of Panic

Six researchers locked in a steel capsule for 233 days to simulate a flight to Mars are set to be released. Boy are they gonna be pissed when they find out they're still on earth

Entire Playboy library to be available on iPad. Finally, Hefner thinks outside the box

Showbiz:

Spike Lee to Italian-American groups that protested him giving a speech at a local college because his films "unflatteringly" portrayed Italians. "Have you SEEN Jersey Shore?"

IRS: Hey Lil Jon, you owe us over a half-million dollars. Lil Jon: WHAT?? IRS: Seriously, you could be in trouble: Lil Jon: OKAY

Jwoww and Snookie are getting a Jersey Shore spin off show, tentatively called "The Bay of Pigs"

Politics:

McCain calls Obama a "patriot." Why he wants to see Obama destroyed at home by jets is anyone's guess

Dick Cheney says it might be appropriate to limit gun magazine size. Well, yeah, that's easy to say when you can crush a man's windpipe with your mind

President Obama's pledge during the festive China state dinner. "A belief that, with education and hard work and with sacrifice, the future is what we make it". In bed

Music:

REM's new album "sounds really classic." It has guitars and drums and EVERYTHING

Whitney Houston taking a crack at a new album

Ke$ha wants to leave people "visually and sonically violated." Mission accomplished

Business:

Toronto Stock Exchange up 100 points. Must have been playing against the Cleveland Cavaliers

Johnson & Johnson address tampon supply issues. Say they've plugged the holes in their distribution network, will have things running again in a month

Pecan farmers distressed by strangers handling their nuts. This story does not involve the TSA

· · ·

(view entire blog)

54 Comments (+0 »)

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PanicMan		2011-01-26 01:58:01 PM

I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.

CtrlAltDelete		2011-01-26 01:58:51 PM

I imagine lawyers in Kentucky look like Colonel Sanders and sound like Foghorn Leghorn.

At least I hope they do.

I can dream :(

abmoraz		2011-01-26 01:59:02 PM

I bet Drew's regretting all of the anti-lawyer headlines that have been greenlit on Fark...

cyber_slacker		2011-01-26 01:59:41 PM

someboday call the whaaaaaaambulance.

Also, I posted this with a better headline.

Trocadero		2011-01-26 02:02:14 PM

Patent lawsuit? What the hell did we ever patent here? A dog-steak desirability calculator?

Impasse		2011-01-26 02:02:17 PM

Can the lawyers just ban the patent trolls for daring to post comments outside of the supposed website norm?

Chupacabra Sandwich		2011-01-26 02:03:01 PM

McCain calls Obama a "patriot." Why he wants to see Obama destroyed at home by jets is anyone's guess

Loved that one.

Also, Drew: DESTROY THE TROLLS!

MorePeasPlease		2011-01-26 02:05:51 PM

CtrlAltDelete: I imagine lawyers in Kentucky look like Colonel Sanders and sound like Foghorn Leghorn.

At least I hope they do.

I can dream :(

t3.gstatic.com

Nice.

cameroncrazy1984		2011-01-26 02:06:12 PM

Trocadero: Patent lawsuit? What the hell did we ever patent here? A dog-steak desirability calculator?

B*tching at Jon Stewart for made up sh*t?

peg_leg		2011-01-26 02:06:26 PM

I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.

Grand_Moff_Joseph		2011-01-26 02:07:00 PM

I missed the boat on this lawsuit thing. WTH is Drew being sued for, and when did we ever patent anything?

Bathia_Mapes		2011-01-26 02:07:58 PM

Trocadero: Patent lawsuit? What the hell did we ever patent here? A dog-steak desirability calculator?

This link will give you a bit more info. The lawsuit is also includes other aggregators like Reddit, Digg & Delicious, as well as blogs like Slashdot and TechCrunch.

GAT_00		2011-01-26 02:08:58 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Trocadero: Patent lawsuit? What the hell did we ever patent here? A dog-steak desirability calculator?

B*tching at Jon Stewart for made up sh*t?

Drew also tried to patent NSFW that one time. But this is about Fark infringing on other people's patents.

Chupacabra Sandwich: Also, Drew: DESTROY THE TROLLS!

That really isn't going to happen now. They're needed to drive pagehits.

HawgWild		2011-01-26 02:11:52 PM

Far be it for me to hate on anyone's headline. But this one:

Obama holding first China state dinner in 13 years. Another to be held an hour later when everyone's hungry again

That made HOTW? Really? Wow. Okay, then.

birchman		2011-01-26 02:12:07 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: I missed the boat on this lawsuit thing. WTH is Drew being sued for, and when did we ever patent anything?

Patent troll.

http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20110113/03334712652/reddit-digg-fark-slashdot - techcrunch-others-sued-over-ridiculous-online-press-release-patent.shtml

oldfarthenry		2011-01-26 02:12:31 PM

CtrlAltDelete: I imagine lawyers in Kentucky look like Colonel Sanders and sound like Foghorn Leghorn.

At least I hope they do.

I can dream :(

i149.photobucket.com

Why I say - the legal ramifications of challengin' a patent-holder's legal authoritah- dang it, mistah Curtis! Try to pay attention, son! I'm - I say - Im talkin' 'bout the law here.

Grand_Moff_Joseph		2011-01-26 02:12:52 PM

Bathia_Mapes: Trocadero: Patent lawsuit? What the hell did we ever patent here? A dog-steak desirability calculator?

This link will give you a bit more info. The lawsuit is also includes other aggregators like Reddit, Digg & Delicious, as well as blogs like Slashdot and TechCrunch.

*Reads TFA*

What a bunch of malarky. Obvious patent trolls are obvious, at the least.

However, I do wonder what fun could be had if you put execs from SlashDot, Fark, Reddit, etc. in the same room.

/good luck, Drew
//fight the trolls

Mr_Fabulous		2011-01-26 02:15:43 PM

I lost track of the story. Did Drew (or Reddit or Slashdot or whoever) finally summon the chan hordes to unmask the patent trolls? Or are they still hiding behind 7 ~~proxies~~ Boxxies?

Grand_Moff_Joseph		2011-01-26 02:15:58 PM

One of the commentors in TFA hit on a good idea:

Why not let the plaintiffs really go for broke and include 4chan on their list of infringing parties?

/the lulz would be epic

Obnox		2011-01-26 02:17:27 PM

When I become dictator, all patent trolls will be stoned to death in the nearest public square. Slowly.

choo		2011-01-26 02:17:40 PM

As your lawyer I declare you in a 12-piece bucket of trouble!

Genju		2011-01-26 02:17:48 PM

CtrlAltDelete: I imagine lawyers in Kentucky look like Colonel Sanders and sound like Foghorn Leghorn.

At least I hope they do.

I can dream :(

Kind of like this:

t0.gstatic.com

NittLion78		2011-01-26 02:21:36 PM

/or patent breach, as it were

TheKnownUniverse		2011-01-26 02:21:48 PM

Is he in the special law talking room at the Fark.com Satellite Office At The Chase Tap Room?

God--		2011-01-26 02:25:25 PM

Wonders if he's talking to Leonard Crabs over at Somethingawful.com

albert71292		2011-01-26 02:25:38 PM

CtrlAltDelete: I imagine lawyers in Kentucky look like Colonel Sanders and sound like Foghorn Leghorn.

At least I hope they do.

I can dream :(

Probably look more like Senator Beauregard Claghorn... the inspiration for Foghorn Leghorn. :-)

/yes I'm old
//get off lawn!!

JSTACAT		2011-01-26 02:29:21 PM

I'll just leave this here...
"The complex sperm design, which includes stiff lateral bristles, is likely a male persistence trait associated with sexual conflicts over the fate of received ejaculates and linked to female resistance traits, namely an intriguing postcopulatory sucking behavior and a thickened epithelium of the sperm-receiving organ." All of that can be skipped, however, if a species goes the injection route."

Theaetetus		2011-01-26 02:32:41 PM

Trocadero: Patent lawsuit? What the hell did we ever patent here?
Grand_Moff_Joseph: WTH is Drew being sued for, and when did we ever patent anything?

No, Drew is being sued for infringing someone else's patent.

GAT_00: Drew also tried to patent NSFW that one time.

No, Drew tried to trademark NSFW that one time. I mean, sure, it's called the US Patent & Trademark Office, but they're really two separate buildings with two separate bodies of law.

muck4doo		2011-01-26 02:33:11 PM

peg_leg: I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you. In bed.

Theaetetus		2011-01-26 02:33:17 PM

Theaetetus: No, Drew is being sued for infringing* someone else's patent.

*allegedly

/ftfm

Flab		2011-01-26 02:33:23 PM

Mr_Fabulous: Did Drew (or Reddit or Slashdot or whoever) finally summon the chan hordes to unmask the patent trolls? Or are they still hiding behind 7 proxies Boxxies?

Last week, there were at least two patent attorneys doing pro bono work in the thread. If they weren't able to dig stuff up, I seriously doubt 4Chan would fare better. /b/tards are good at digging info on clueless 15 year old girls with Facebook profiles. Corporations registered in Delaware, not so much.

Gosling		2011-01-26 02:35:20 PM

So basically, Fark's getting sued for being a news aggregator. And so are all the other aggregators.

That's pretty much the fight. Some patent troll is claiming a patent on whatever it is that allows news aggregators to exist.

Kick his ass, Drew.

amaranthe		2011-01-26 02:37:48 PM

Flab: Mr_Fabulous: Did Drew (or Reddit or Slashdot or whoever) finally summon the chan hordes to unmask the patent trolls? Or are they still hiding behind 7 proxies Boxxies?

Last week, there were at least two patent attorneys doing pro bono work in the thread. If they weren't able to dig stuff up, I seriously doubt 4Chan would fare better. /b/tards are good at digging info on clueless 15 year old girls with Facebook profiles. Corporations registered in Delaware, not so much.

Then again, someone could always, theoretically, post about this in 4Chan and see if we could stir them up to TRY... preemptively, as it were. ;)

Gosling		2011-01-26 02:39:21 PM

4chan's has no news aggregation mechanism in place. And they may still be working on Wikileaks.

Theaetetus		2011-01-26 02:46:39 PM

Flab: Last week, there were at least two patent attorneys doing pro bono work in the thread. If they weren't able to dig stuff up,

I don't think we were actually doing any real digging or looking closely at the claims, just idly musing. This is not legal advice, and we have no client-agent relationship. All posts are for (my) entertainment purposes only. Allow 4-6 weeks for thread locking. Void your bowels in Utah.

HaywoodJablonski		2011-01-26 02:47:05 PM

Good to be back on the HOTW bus. I miss submitting sometimes. Damn life

Flab		2011-01-26 03:05:49 PM

Theaetetus: I don't think we were actually doing any real digging or looking closely at the claims, just idly musing.

I didn't mean to imply that you had actually offered your professional services to Fark.

DORMAMU		2011-01-26 03:12:31 PM

Drew needs air? I thought he breathed beer....

On a side note, any one know if it would be possible to get some friends of the court briefs?

As far as digging up info on them, some of those pro bono guys in the thread from last week did find some managers or something thrre or 4 shell companies deep on a house boat in seattle...

/not suggesting ay thing at all....

IamCeilingCat		2011-01-26 03:12:46 PM

Howdy everybody, Drew is head-down with the patent lawsuit thing, so he's ... meeting with lawyers ... He'll be back whenever he comes up for air, but I have no idea when that might be.

Sounds like a cheap porn flick

BalugaJoe		2011-01-26 03:21:10 PM

I thought Drew got sued because he drank all the beer.

Superrad		2011-01-26 03:23:48 PM

A lot of main headlines made me lol this week. Thanks submitters.

nekom		2011-01-26 03:28:31 PM

I just want to say that patent trolls suck. I sincerely hope you are able to counter sue them for damages and legal fees for bringing this utter nonsense, and I hope the other defendants do the same.

Kareki		2011-01-26 03:29:50 PM

amaranthe: Flab: Mr_Fabulous: Did Drew (or Reddit or Slashdot or whoever) finally summon the chan hordes to unmask the patent trolls? Or are they still hiding behind 7 proxies Boxxies?

Last week, there were at least two patent attorneys doing pro bono work in the thread. If they weren't able to dig stuff up, I seriously doubt 4Chan would fare better. /b/tards are good at digging info on clueless 15 year old girls with Facebook profiles. Corporations registered in Delaware, not so much.

Then again, someone could always, theoretically, post about this in 4Chan and see if we could stir them up to TRY... preemptively, as it were. ;)

I would be interested in seeing the outcome of some /b/ involvement. Surely some anon somewhere may be of some use. Stranger things have happened. I'm at work or else I would brave the horrors myself and post it there. Any takers?

Sliding Carp		2011-01-26 03:34:30 PM

Obnox: When I become dictator, all patent trolls will be stoned to death in the nearest public square. Slowly.

You should patent that idea.

Flab		2011-01-26 03:35:33 PM

DORMAMU: As far as digging up info on them, some of those pro bono guys in the thread from last week did find some managers or something thrre or 4 shell companies deep on a house boat in seattle...

If memory serves me right (I'm too lazy to look up last weke thread in my profile...), the boat in Seattle belongs to the owners of another company with a similar name (Vertigo HoldingS llc with an s, not Vertigo Holding llc, or some such).

Besides, sending pizzas and UPS delivery trucks to the patent troll's house might bring out the lulz, but would certainly not help Drew's cause.

Barakku		2011-01-26 03:53:15 PM

Rip out the troll's heart and eat it. It's the only way.

cwolf20		2011-01-26 04:06:07 PM

Am I the only one who thought he was the one suing over the patent thing?

WhyteRaven74		2011-01-26 04:30:45 PM

Theaetetus: , and we have no client-agent relationship. All posts are for (my) entertainment purposes only.

Actually I'm thinking contacting Wired might be a good idea. After all the story is more than just Fark being sued and hunting around for people in the shadows is something they've done a good amount of.

fubarfreestyle		2011-01-26 04:36:07 PM

DORMAMU: Drew needs air? I thought he breathed beer....

On a side note, any one know if it would be possible to get some friends of the court briefs?

As far as digging up info on them, some of those pro bono guys in the thread from last week did find some managers or something thrre or 4 shell companies deep on a house boat in seattle...

/not suggesting ay thing at all....

fubarfreestyle.com

what "friend of the court briefs" might look like

JSTACAT		2011-01-26 04:44:53 PM

This could be a good thing
as i understand it /. has a sue proof system, any link is buried in a commentary at the top.. The narrative is almost unrelated, much like Fark headlines already are.

Remove all the hot button links and replace them with Paid Ads from said sources[pay to post article here], leave the rest of the sourcing to trolls, who work[beg] [sic] for free and are attracted to yellow paper. 90% of these yellow rags would get zero traffic without FaRK.

Yeah, thats it, news sites want a boost in traffic, they can pay Fark to greenlight a headline [like an ad] or pay a little less for a banner on the side.
Require a TF membership for posting an article, One [1] auto greenlight per mo for new advertising subscribers.

A News org Posting a greenlight on Fark should go for...
ummm
$1529.99 one time fee
10 articles monthly sub, $13,349.99
Yearly unlimited $149,995.99

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