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(News.com.au)   Man seeks protection from sex-mad wife, says he can't keep it up   (news.com.au) divider line 87
    More: Strange, DESPERATE Turkish  
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13614 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jan 2011 at 1:51 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Pud [TotalFark]
2011-01-26 11:43:33 AM
Well, maybe if she wore a little makeup, or nice jewelry he would find her a little more appealing. You know in THAT way.

t2.gstatic.com
 
2011-01-26 12:31:40 PM
Sounds like Mama's got a squeeze box, and Daddy never sleeps at night.
 
2011-01-26 01:52:15 PM
Definitely strange.
 
IP
2011-01-26 01:53:34 PM
Unpossible.
 
2011-01-26 01:53:36 PM
He's married to Olivia Munn?
 
2011-01-26 01:54:40 PM
Is she heinous?

She should have just slipped some viagra into his coffee...
 
2011-01-26 01:56:17 PM

Sybarite: Sounds like Mama's got a squeeze box, and Daddy never sleeps at night.


Bastard.

Anyway, here's video. (new window)
 
2011-01-26 01:57:56 PM
He asked for police help in getting some sleep at night.

Lucky cops. I wonder if they helped him out.
 
2011-01-26 02:00:41 PM
Well, he certainly didn't marry my ex-wife. Plenty of sleep happening when she is around.
 
2011-01-26 02:04:16 PM
Look at the other headlines on that page. They must get a bonus for using the term 'sex-mad'.
 
2011-01-26 02:07:30 PM
Oh, poor you.
 
2011-01-26 02:08:42 PM

OBBN: Well, he certainly didn't marry my ex-wife. Plenty of sleep happening when she is around.


Could this thread devolve into an anti marriage thread. Chances are good imho.
 
2011-01-26 02:09:44 PM

Sybarite: Sounds like Mama's got a squeeze box, and Daddy never sleeps at night.


...I never caught the innuendo of that song until now... I'm speechless...
 
2011-01-26 02:10:22 PM
then he should stop being so good at it!

i once had a boyfriend who made me think i didnt like sex at all. he was just THAT horrible.

bad dick makes women get all headachey
 
2011-01-26 02:13:24 PM
I wonder if he wants sex, but just not with her.
 
2011-01-26 02:14:53 PM

Aleph Nought: Is she heinous?

She should have just slipped some viagra into his coffee...


a little pot tea would do the trick

But...the police? I mean, WTF?
 
2011-01-26 02:15:08 PM
well if he wants to bring her over i can take her on tuesday and thursday afternoons.
 
2011-01-26 02:15:44 PM
I've had partners who called me sex-crazed and some who thought I must hate sex.

It's about skill and willingness to learn.
 
2011-01-26 02:22:33 PM
Story of my life....
 
2011-01-26 02:25:04 PM
I found a picture of the wife in question... Hope you ate lunch already.

Link (new window)
 
2011-01-26 02:27:46 PM
She has been like this since she purchased the strap-on....
 
2011-01-26 02:28:15 PM

RedEmily: OBBN: Well, he certainly didn't marry my ex-wife. Plenty of sleep happening when she is around.

Could this thread devolve into an anti marriage thread. Chances are good imho.


Yeah, you are probably right. You might even know my ex wife ... her name is Satan. Can't miss her, viperated tounge, pointy tail.
 
2011-01-26 02:34:23 PM
Yea, calling BS on this story.

Noobian Noob: then he should stop being so good at it!

i once had a boyfriend who made me think i didnt like sex at all. he was just THAT horrible.

bad dick makes women get all headachey


Tits or GTFO.
 
2011-01-26 02:40:39 PM
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongey and bruised.

/Snoo snoo
 
2011-01-26 02:41:21 PM
This dialogue of a couple seeing separate analysts about their relationship, taken from the Woody Allen film Annie Hall illustrates a point:

Woody's analyst: "How often do you sleep together?"
Woody Allen: "Hardly ever! Maybe three times a week"

Diane's analyst: "Do you have sex often?"
Diane Keaton: "Constantly! I'd say three times a week"
 
2011-01-26 02:41:44 PM

tuxq: Sybarite: Sounds like Mama's got a squeeze box, and Daddy never sleeps at night.

...I never caught the innuendo of that song until now... I'm speechless clueless...


FTFY

YNF
 
2011-01-26 02:42:14 PM

OBBN: RedEmily: OBBN: Well, he certainly didn't marry my ex-wife. Plenty of sleep happening when she is around.

Could this thread devolve into an anti marriage thread. Chances are good imho.

Yeah, you are probably right. You might even know my ex wife ... her name is Satan. Can't miss her, viperated tounge, pointy tail.


I laughed.
 
2011-01-26 02:49:14 PM

Sapper_Topo: I found a picture of the wife in question... Hope you ate lunch already.

Link (new window)


Will a man braver than myself click this please? I have not the courage today.
 
2011-01-26 02:49:27 PM

Noobian Noob: then he should stop being so good at it!

i once had a boyfriend who made me think i didnt like sex at all. he was just THAT horrible.

bad dick makes women get all headachey


When did we ever date. I don't remember
 
2011-01-26 02:50:44 PM

RedEmily: OBBN: RedEmily: OBBN: Well, he certainly didn't marry my ex-wife. Plenty of sleep happening when she is around.

Could this thread devolve into an anti marriage thread. Chances are good imho.

Yeah, you are probably right. You might even know my ex wife ... her name is Satan. Can't miss her, viperated tounge, pointy tail.

I laughed.


Is this where we get to call you easy?
 
2011-01-26 02:52:05 PM
I'll take her on Mondays and Wednesdays then. And on Fridays and Saturdays and Sundays.
 
2011-01-26 02:52:40 PM

Brainwash: Sapper_Topo: I found a picture of the wife in question... Hope you ate lunch already.

Link (new window)

Will a man braver than myself click this please? I have not the courage today.


Just your average chick from Alabama. Kind of hot.
 
2011-01-26 02:54:58 PM

SearchN: RedEmily: OBBN: RedEmily: OBBN: Well, he certainly didn't marry my ex-wife. Plenty of sleep happening when she is around.

Could this thread devolve into an anti marriage thread. Chances are good imho.

Yeah, you are probably right. You might even know my ex wife ... her name is Satan. Can't miss her, viperated tounge, pointy tail.

I laughed.

Is this where we get to call you easy?


I've been called worse...right here on fark!
 
2011-01-26 03:02:08 PM
sportige.com
Approves of his action ...
 
2011-01-26 03:05:42 PM

beelzebubba76: Approves of his action ...


Win

/End Thread
 
2011-01-26 03:05:49 PM

RedEmily: SearchN: RedEmily: OBBN: RedEmily: OBBN: Well, he certainly didn't marry my ex-wife. Plenty of sleep happening when she is around.

Could this thread devolve into an anti marriage thread. Chances are good imho.

Yeah, you are probably right. You might even know my ex wife ... her name is Satan. Can't miss her, viperated tounge, pointy tail.

I laughed.

Is this where we get to call you easy?

I've been called worse...right here on fark!


Really? Cool, so this is OK right?


You *** guzzling gutter ***** that likes to get ***** with a ***** while wearing a gag ball and ***** a *****?

If not, I won't.

/Not that pale. I would suggest renaming it 'Ginger'.
 
2011-01-26 03:07:23 PM
Yeah, you are probably right. You might even know my ex wife ... her name is Satan. Can't miss her, viperated tounge, pointy tail.

Oh, no. No, sir. He's white, as white as you folks, with empty eyes and a big hollow voice. He likes to travel around with a mean old hound. That's right.
 
2011-01-26 03:08:51 PM
She sounds fat.
 
2011-01-26 03:12:07 PM

SearchN: RedEmily: SearchN: RedEmily: OBBN: RedEmily: OBBN: Well, he certainly didn't marry my ex-wife. Plenty of sleep happening when she is around.

Could this thread devolve into an anti marriage thread. Chances are good imho.

Yeah, you are probably right. You might even know my ex wife ... her name is Satan. Can't miss her, viperated tounge, pointy tail.

I laughed.

Is this where we get to call you easy?

I've been called worse...right here on fark!

Really? Cool, so this is OK right?


You *** guzzling gutter ***** that likes to get ***** with a ***** while wearing a gag ball and ***** a *****?

If not, I won't.

/Not that pale. I would suggest renaming it 'Ginger'.


But my name isn't Ginger.
 
2011-01-26 03:12:54 PM

RedEmily: SearchN: RedEmily: SearchN: RedEmily: OBBN: RedEmily: OBBN: Well, he certainly didn't marry my ex-wife. Plenty of sleep happening when she is around.

Could this thread devolve into an anti marriage thread. Chances are good imho.

Yeah, you are probably right. You might even know my ex wife ... her name is Satan. Can't miss her, viperated tounge, pointy tail.

I laughed.

Is this where we get to call you easy?

I've been called worse...right here on fark!

Really? Cool, so this is OK right?


You *** guzzling gutter ***** that likes to get ***** with a ***** while wearing a gag ball and ***** a *****?

If not, I won't.

/Not that pale. I would suggest renaming it 'Ginger'.

But my name isn't Ginger.


You sure as hell ain't the professor.
 
2011-01-26 03:14:06 PM
A robust sex life was the one problem my ex and I did not have. Although in hindsight those gangbangs with our friends might not have been the best idea.
 
2011-01-26 03:16:40 PM

tuxq: Sybarite: Sounds like Mama's got a squeeze box, and Daddy never sleeps at night.

...I never caught the innuendo of that song until now... I'm speechless...


Really?

Noobian Noob: then he should stop being so good at it!

i once had a boyfriend who made me think i didnt like sex at all. he was just THAT horrible.

bad dick makes women get all headachey


Maybe you should have tried it more than once.
 
2011-01-26 03:16:41 PM

SearchN: RedEmily: SearchN: RedEmily: SearchN: RedEmily: OBBN: RedEmily: OBBN: Well, he certainly didn't marry my ex-wife. Plenty of sleep happening when she is around.

Could this thread devolve into an anti marriage thread. Chances are good imho.

Yeah, you are probably right. You might even know my ex wife ... her name is Satan. Can't miss her, viperated tounge, pointy tail.

I laughed.

Is this where we get to call you easy?

I've been called worse...right here on fark!

Really? Cool, so this is OK right?


You *** guzzling gutter ***** that likes to get ***** with a ***** while wearing a gag ball and ***** a *****?

If not, I won't.

/Not that pale. I would suggest renaming it 'Ginger'.

But my name isn't Ginger.

You sure as hell ain't the professor.


I'm more maryanne.
 
2011-01-26 03:18:44 PM

Grass Hopper: tuxq: Sybarite: Sounds like Mama's got a squeeze box, and Daddy never sleeps at night.

...I never caught the innuendo of that song until now... I'm speechless...

Really?

Noobian Noob: then he should stop being so good at it!

i once had a boyfriend who made me think i didnt like sex at all. he was just THAT horrible.

bad dick makes women get all headachey

Maybe you should have tried it more than once.


no.
 
2011-01-26 03:42:45 PM
I sure I could have handled her assuming I was attracted to her. I am an everyday sometimes many times a day type of guy and I often orgasm three to four times during a sexual encounter. A typical encounter involves a massage then oral until she orgasm then intercourse at which point I orgasm, but I pinch the head of my penis until it passes so that I remain erect. I go back to intercourse until she orgasms again which usually makes me orgasm then we hold each other, kiss and go at it again or not.
 
2011-01-26 04:06:56 PM
Men everywhere, be warned. There's a very good reason why entire threads like this will be full of men talking about "what the hell happened to my exes sex drive?".

My ex and sex: The first year, maybe 18 months we were together, the sex life was awesome. We'd do it all the time. Going to bed at night, waking up in the morning, middle of the day for no reason. Oh you're getting in the shower? Here, let's fark real quick since you're already naked. She'd call me at work at around 10 or 11 and suggest I come home for "lunch" every so often. She'd initiate sex, I'd initiate sex, neither would ever say no. Fantastic sex life.

Fast forward to about 2 years into the relationship, and the sex life was "okay" but I was growing worried about little things that I noticed stopped happenning. She stopped asking me to come home and fark her on my lunch break. Oral sex pretty much went away. There was a noticeable shift toward me being the one initiating sex most of the time, her almost not at all. But still, she didn't often refuse and we still had sex with what I'd call satisfying regularity (4 times a week or so).

I'd try talking to her about my concerns and she'd brush them off, usually saying something like everything's fine, we're just settling into our relationship, we can't expect those "honeymoon" days to last forever, don't worry I love you babe, blah blah blah. Essentially, she'd dodge the whole conversation by saying I was worrying over nothing.

Get to about year 3 and a half, and things were going downhill fast. She never initiated sex anymore. Oral sex, what's that? I kind of remember something like that... not sure. She'd began refusing sex more and more - always politely, of course, with some promise of doing it "later". "Later" is the most nebulous concept in the female lexicon, and ultimately it basically doesn't mean anything. We had a fairly well established routine of sex at night, sex again in the morning. Sex in the morning was always first thing upon awakening. She'd give me "the signal" and it was on. I'd get the signal before I was even sure she was awake sometimes. Well, sex at night (when I prefer it) went away almost completely over time. She'd get in bed and roll over and say something like "I'm not turning my back on you, I'm just tired and getting comfortable. I'll get you in the morning.", some shiat like that.

Get to about year 4, maybe 4 and a half, and night sex was a distant memory. Middle of the day sex hadn't been experienced in at least a couple years. It had also been at least a couple years since she stopped initiating sex, ever. Morning sex was all I had, and it had dropped in frequency to once or twice a week.

Many, many times I'd bring up our ever-worsening sex life and try to talk with her about it, and every time I got told that it was a combination of me imagining things and us "finding our rhythm", or some such bullshiat. I explained as kindly and patiently as I was able that this problem was going to ruin us (not just the lack of sex, but what it told me about her feelings toward me), and she always brushed that off.

Oh, and let me explain how morning sex had morphed over time. It USED to be just waking up, start touching each other, get the signal, and it was on. By the end, it took the shape of her waking up, getting out of bed, starting a pot of coffee, taking the dog outside to potty, coming back to bed with the paper and a cup of coffee, turning the TV on, reading the paper and drinking coffee to that stupid morning show she likes, then when she was done with the paper, she'd toss it to the floor, put her coffee cup down on the nightstand, turn to me and go, "You wanna do it?" (and the tone she asked in usually indicated that a "yes" answer from me would be an annoyance).

I'm not kidding, it got THAT BAD. Finally, after yet another failed attempt to discuss things with her in an effort to figure out what was wrong with our relationship and try to repair it, I gave up. And that's why she's an ex. Well, it's not the ONLY reason, but even in the absence of the other reasons, it still would have been enough to end us.

So to all you young men, be warned: this shiat happens. It's a real thing. Us "older" (I'm 34) guys aren't just telling scary stories. It happens with alarming regularity.

And ladies: yes, sex is important to your man. As it should be to you. If you find yourself not wanting to fark him as much, or at all, you need to take a good look at what's going on, be honest with yourself, and then be honest with him. Don't put a man through what I went through, it's horrible and nobody deserves that.
 
2011-01-26 04:14:43 PM

ChadM89: wall of text



I was going to toss some pity your way, but I can't. The massive amount of 'my life suck(s, ed) in your post forced the filter to stop quoting you.
 
2011-01-26 04:15:55 PM
ChadM89... wow.

I'm 32, and married 9 years.

Truer words I have never read.

/subscription, etc.
 
2011-01-26 04:18:19 PM

ChadM89: And ladies: yes, sex is important to your man. As it should be to you. If you find yourself not wanting to fark him as much, or at all, you need to take a good look at what's going on, be honest with yourself, and then be honest with him. Don't put a man through what I went through, it's horrible and nobody deserves that.


She probably realized that she could get it from you whenever she wanted it and didn't have to work as hard to keep you around. If you made her jealous, and made her realize that you could have gotten elsewhere, even hinted at it, that might have changed her tune.
 
2011-01-26 04:19:02 PM

SearchN: ChadM89: wall of text


I was going to toss some pity your way, but I can't. The massive amount of 'my life suck(s, ed) in your post forced the filter to stop quoting you.


So you took the time to say that you aren't going to say anything?
 
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