FARK.com: (5905371) Totalfark is the best, I suggest you sign up, now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to all of Totalfark's benefits

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		Totalfark is the best, I suggest you sign up, now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to all of Totalfark's benefits (fark.com)		2925
		More: Hero, frequently asked questions, posting rules, waiting period

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10163 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jan 2011 at 12:24 PM | Favorite | share:

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napjerk		2011-01-25 09:50:31 AM

The boobs are less saggy in TF, and the jokes are 8% funnier.

eddyatwork		2011-01-25 09:50:53 AM

I like TF because it allows me to negative vote threads.

likefunbutnot		2011-01-25 09:51:01 AM

I got dates thanks to Totalfark. Read my profile. You will understand why that is a huge benefit.

discgolfguru		2011-01-25 09:52:03 AM

TF killed my father, raped and murdered my sister, burned my ranch, shot my dog, and stole my Bible!

Nabb1		2011-01-25 09:52:05 AM

Since I got TotalFark, my penis has grown 30% and my 401k is now rising at breakneck speed.

John Q Bacon		2011-01-25 09:52:21 AM

I'll never have to get a colonoscopy, thanks to all the UFIA.

Thanks TotalFark!

shemp5150		2011-01-25 09:52:28 AM

TotalFark - It's got calcium and antioxidants!
I lost 15 pounds in 15 minutes by switching to TotalFark!

FlyingLizardOfDoom		2011-01-25 09:52:37 AM

napjerk: The boobs are less saggy in TF, and the jokes are 8% funnier.

fayinc.files.wordpress.com

paquerette		2011-01-25 09:52:39 AM

TotalFark is lots of fun. You can meet exciting, interesting new people, and show your boobs to them.

WTF Indeed		2011-01-25 09:52:56 AM

A witch turned me into a newt. Then I got TF, and I got better.

Rev.K		2011-01-25 09:53:05 AM

TotalFark gave me a Bowflex body and bought me a snuggie.

Ras-Algethi		2011-01-25 09:53:22 AM

TotalFark has electrolytes!

LineNoise		2011-01-25 09:53:24 AM

Internet pretty chicks will sort of pay attention to you if you buy them stuff.

logophile		2011-01-25 09:53:24 AM

Total Fark cured me of baldness.

When i had nothing else in the world to believe in, TF was there for me!

TF helped me birth my twins and agreed to be their godfather.

Total Fark took me from a zero and made me a hero!

TFD has made me a better person, especially due to the contrast effect.

Total Fark knows the muffinman.

TF knows my deepest dreams and fulfills them unquestioningly.

If I had to be stranded on a desert island with only one news aggregate-cum-discussion-board, it would be TF.

Mike_LowELL		2011-01-25 09:54:12 AM

TotalFark gave my dog cancer.

paquerette		2011-01-25 09:54:17 AM

John Q Bacon: I'll never have to get a colonoscopy, thanks to all the UFIA.

Thanks TotalFark!

That's funny, I now have to get a colonoscopy thanks to all the bacon and steak and stuff.

/not really

discgolfguru		2011-01-25 09:54:37 AM

TF is full of omega-3 fatty acids.

palladiate		2011-01-25 09:54:50 AM

Act now, and you'll get your own alt free of charge.

shemp5150		2011-01-25 09:54:53 AM

Ras-Algethi: TotalFark has electrolytes!

It's got what plants crave!

Rev.K		2011-01-25 09:55:04 AM

TotalFark is amazing! I just put on my ~~Q-Ray~~ TotalFark bracelet and my pain is gone, my penis is hard and I'm ready for dumpy TFette lovin'.

Thanks ~~Q-Ray~~ TotalFark!

WTF Indeed		2011-01-25 09:55:25 AM

I was lost, but then I found TF.

Thrakkerzog		2011-01-25 09:56:11 AM

The daily BIE is a nice perk.

BlueLightJim		2011-01-25 09:56:18 AM

Plus, you'll get to participate in all the discussions about those douchey liters!

and send BIE to veteran TFers

littlett's		2011-01-25 09:56:18 AM

Total Fark makes you 20% more attractive by utilizing good lighting and optimal camera angles.

Ras-Algethi: TotalFark has electrolytes!

That too, it's what plants want.

likefunbutnot		2011-01-25 09:57:00 AM

TF occasionally tries to teach me how to love.

RubyRed		2011-01-25 09:57:20 AM

Nabb1: Since I got TotalFark, my penis has grown 30% and my 401k is now rising at breakneck speed.

Well hello there!

the_rev		2011-01-25 09:57:36 AM

discgolfguru: TF killed my father, raped and murdered my sister, burned my ranch, shot my dog, and stole my Bible!

But suddenly, there he was... my beloved Jesse.

Elvis_Bogart		2011-01-25 09:57:44 AM

TotalFark has two more vowels, three more consonants and two extra syllables more than Fark for peasants.

palladiate		2011-01-25 09:58:04 AM

Thrakkerzog: The daily BIE is a nice perk.

You only get it once a day? You're an UltraFarker, be sure to check your UltraFark email for your bonus BIE.

Thrakkerzog		2011-01-25 09:58:11 AM

likefunbutnot: TF occasionally tries to teach me how to love.

No. We just want you to get laid.

Shakespeare's Monkey		2011-01-25 09:58:16 AM

Our Dear Leader says, "Total Fark is Best Fark".

likefunbutnot		2011-01-25 09:58:30 AM

littlett's: Total Fark makes you 20% more attractive by utilizing good lighting and optimal camera angles.

It's true! tt's is pioneer of the TotalFark Angle for cleavage shots.

Thrakkerzog		2011-01-25 09:59:17 AM

palladiate: Thrakkerzog: The daily BIE is a nice perk.

You only get it once a day? You're an UltraFarker, be sure to check your UltraFark email for your bonus BIE.

I haven't checked that account for a while. It's gonna be like Christmas!

Rev.K		2011-01-25 09:59:46 AM

Watch, I'm going to use TotalFark to cut through this sheet of gyp rock, see that!

And now, without even sharpening the blade, look how nice it slices this tomato.

TOTALFARK NEVER NEEDS SHARPENING!!

AND I STILL HAVE 7 MORE ALTS TO SHOW YOU!!

the_rev		2011-01-25 10:00:01 AM

Fettucine, Linguini, Martini, Bikini... TF does it all.

the_rev		2011-01-25 10:00:45 AM

TotalFark... set it, and forget it!

BlueLightJim		2011-01-25 10:00:47 AM

You'll also never work again while subscribed to TF! Get paid for 8 hours of trolling!

PFRboy		2011-01-25 10:00:56 AM

TotalFark showed me how to get free beer!

Just check out my profile to find out how you can get free beer too!

internutthead		2011-01-25 10:01:15 AM

TotalFark (and a DJ) saved my life last night.

R.A.Danny		2011-01-25 10:01:25 AM

Totalfark saved my life back in 'Nam. I'll never forget Totalfark.

frenchcheesemuseum		2011-01-25 10:02:03 AM

I'm here!

likefunbutnot		2011-01-25 10:02:10 AM

Thrakkerzog: No. We just want you to get laid.

See? You can't get that kind of love among the liters.

markie_farkie		2011-01-25 10:02:25 AM

TF, it's the gift that keeps on taking.

But wait, order now and we'll DOUBLE the amount of time wasting crap you endure for 16 hours a day, at no extra charge. Just pay additional electricity to keep your computer running, and we'll do the rest!

internutthead		2011-01-25 10:02:34 AM

Totalfark showed me how babby is formed.

frenchcheesemuseum		2011-01-25 10:02:38 AM

There

frenchcheesemuseum		2011-01-25 10:03:13 AM

and everywhere....

discgolfguru		2011-01-25 10:03:34 AM

Sometimes TF looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about TF... it's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes.

Old_Chief_Scott		2011-01-25 10:04:02 AM

Thanks to TF, my dog now eats steak on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. On the other days she wants it.

littlett's		2011-01-25 10:04:38 AM

likefunbutnot: It's true! tt's is pioneer of the TotalFark Angle for cleavage shots.

I just volunteered to be the first test subject, I can't take all the credit. The TF team of photographers and photoshop artists did the rest.