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(Oregon Live)   Fabric samples stolen; police will canvas area, cover a large swatch   (oregonlive.com) divider line 35
    More: Strange, web address, materials, mercy  
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1215 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jan 2011 at 8:31 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2011-01-23 02:58:24 AM  
I bet it was some dirty muslin involved in this!
 
2011-01-23 03:01:08 AM  
I know who did it, It was a muslin terrorist named serge
 
2011-01-23 03:23:19 AM  
She reportedly arrived just after the thief had left; having nearly been cotton the act, he rayon away.
 
2011-01-23 03:24:09 AM  

Paris1127: She reportedly arrived just after the thief had left; having nearly been cotton the act, he rayon away.


He didn't seer,sucker.
 
2011-01-23 03:28:09 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: Paris1127: She reportedly arrived just after the thief had left; having nearly been cotton the act, he rayon away.

He didn't seer,sucker.


The police hope that they're quite close to nylon the bastard...
 
2011-01-23 03:37:33 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: I bet it was some dirty muslin involved in this!


I just can't cotton to your theory.
 
2011-01-23 04:32:04 AM  
This thread is lamé.
 
2011-01-23 04:41:19 AM  

gopher321: This thread is lamé.


You're just biased.
 
2011-01-23 04:44:32 AM  
Does this crime fall into a pattern?
 
2011-01-23 04:46:03 AM  

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: gopher321: This thread is lamé.

You're just biased.


Weave moved past this...
 
2011-01-23 05:31:22 AM  
Police are a frayed they have no clues.
 
2011-01-23 05:35:03 AM  
They'll never find the criminals. They've already gone to plaid.

i364.photobucket.com
 
2011-01-23 08:34:17 AM  
Pun headlines aren't funny if you completely fabricate facts. There was nothing in the article about the police investigation.
 
2011-01-23 08:34:32 AM  
The police should pay special attention to any cars that are weaving.
 
2011-01-23 08:40:10 AM  
I'd love to stay and see more puns on this thread, but I have to bolt.
 
2011-01-23 08:44:15 AM  
Uh oh. I fear trouble is looming.
 
2011-01-23 08:47:24 AM  
It's swath - not swatch. Puns only work if you use the correct word.
 
2011-01-23 08:53:42 AM  
I doubt the police will be able to stitch this one together.
 
2011-01-23 08:55:15 AM  

Lupine Chemist: I doubt the police will be able to stitch this one together.


It seams you're correct.
 
2011-01-23 09:09:28 AM  
Sorry to interrupt the pun-fest.

If something is so valuable why the fark do you leave it in your car in your driveway. If it is that valuable bring it in your house!
I have heard too many stories about people having laptops or work gear stolen out of their cars in front of their house.
 
2011-01-23 09:15:06 AM  
www.spoonflower.comAs the crime wave seemed to surge, unruffled detectives tended to their knitting and needled their informants as their clues' woven threads pointed at a suspect.
 
2011-01-23 09:19:18 AM  

MayoBoy: It's swath - not swatch. Puns only work if you use the correct word.


Yeah, because puns are the only form of humor allowed in a fark headline, whereas malapropisms are strictly forbidden. Or in commentmitters* case, perhaps I should say "verboten."

/*portmanteaus are also frowned upon
 
2011-01-23 09:34:37 AM  
Obviously the thief decided to cut & run before the cops could pin this on him.
 
2011-01-23 09:42:53 AM  
"'The things you stole from me yesterday are valuable, which you know, or I would still have them,' Huff said in an open letter to the thief on her blog."

I think we've reached a new height of self importance - the thieves must be reading her blog - duh.
 
2011-01-23 10:32:35 AM  
Mary Scott Huff, a well-known fabric artist...

ya, rite.
 
2011-01-23 10:43:05 AM  
To summarize TFA: Those items are valuable, but they can be replaced. They can't be replaced. They are useless.
 
2011-01-23 10:49:11 AM  
Thread over!
 
2011-01-23 11:35:31 AM  
Does the criminal post on Fark?

Because it sounds to me like

*puts on sunglasses*

Threadjacking
 
2011-01-23 11:40:14 AM  
Will the thief be put in cuffs?
 
2011-01-23 02:12:19 PM  
Who are the suspects? Polly? Esther? Hope they don't bolt - someone's going to wind up satin jail for this.
 
2011-01-23 02:18:25 PM  

gopher321: DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: gopher321: This thread is lamé.

You're just biased.

Weave moved past this...


You can spin this as playing the yarn card, but it's a warped corduroy road you're shuttling down to a looming knotted whipcord.
 
2011-01-23 04:26:40 PM  
What a large Swatch may look like.

t3.gstatic.com
 
2011-01-23 05:25:08 PM  
What a selvedge thing to do, getting on the wrong side of the law.
Hope they find a material witness and get the goods on these guys.
The worsted could happen is they bolt overseas and get snagged by Scotland Yard.
 
2011-01-23 08:02:40 PM  
Ah, what tangled webs we weave...

;)
 
2011-01-23 10:47:12 PM  
She'll see her sweaters again soon. Copies of them, this fall at Macy's.
 
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