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(Gawker)   Kelly Preston explains her weird Scientology birthing ritual   (gawker.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Kelly Preston, John Travolta, scientology, l ron hubbard  
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5267 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 20 Jan 2011 at 1:03 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-01-20 12:20:40 PM  
L. Ron Hubbard found that the single source of aberration, of psychosomatic illnesses, stress, fears, worry, things like that, have to do with the reactive mind, and in that part of the mind is different words and commands that can come back to affect you later in your life.

Makes perfect sense.
 
2011-01-20 12:23:42 PM  
Why doesn't she explain how she married that fruitloop in the first place?

/was hot in 'Mischief'
 
2011-01-20 12:24:54 PM  

gopher321: /was hot in 'Mischief' EVERYTHING


FTFY
 
2011-01-20 01:05:48 PM  
Did L. Ron Hubbard have any actual evidence to back up all his "findings"?
 
2011-01-20 01:06:26 PM  

DamnYankees: L. Ron Hubbard found that the single source of aberration, of psychosomatic illnesses, stress, fears, worry, things like that, have to do with the reactive mind, and in that part of the mind is different words and commands that can come back to affect you later in your life.

Makes perfect sense.


Heard that part on the radio on the drive in. I got as far as "L. Ron Hubbard found that- "

No. Stop. Shut up. Hubbard found nothing except an amazing way to fleece right suckers.
 
2011-01-20 01:06:51 PM  
Apparently, words are bad, but full c-section and medical intervention instead of a natural birth is a-ok.
 
2011-01-20 01:11:03 PM  
So, is the idea that the baby might hear some screaming or similar and be scarred for life? Am I close? I wonder what else a baby might have heard, at very close range, in the weeks or months preceeding its birth.
 
2011-01-20 01:11:39 PM  
Their birthing rituals might be weird, but their sex role playing is amazingly intricate.

resources0.news.com.au
 
2011-01-20 01:14:08 PM  
She used to date George Clooney. Now she is a Travolta incubator. Sad.
 
2011-01-20 01:24:55 PM  

MDGeist: Did L. Ron Hubbard have any actual evidence to back up all his "findings"?


Because dianetics.
 
2011-01-20 01:28:02 PM  
I bet it involves this:

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-01-20 01:30:12 PM  

ChubbyTiger: So, is the idea that the baby might hear some screaming or similar and be scarred for life? Am I close? I wonder what else a baby might have heard, at very close range, in the weeks or months preceeding its birth.


"please stop touching me"?
"dear god, what is that"?
"only with the lights off, honey"?
 
2011-01-20 01:32:20 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2011-01-20 01:36:58 PM  
suckers.
 
2011-01-20 01:38:22 PM  
So did somebody say "seizure" right after Jet was born?
 
2011-01-20 01:41:12 PM  

talulahgosh: ChubbyTiger: So, is the idea that the baby might hear some screaming or similar and be scarred for life? Am I close? I wonder what else a baby might have heard, at very close range, in the weeks or months preceeding its birth.

"please stop touching me"?
"dear god, what is that"?
"only with the lights off, honey"?


I assume that would be John speaking, not Kelly.
 
2011-01-20 01:43:07 PM  
That is like so weird. It's like this movie I was in where this baby was talking, but like not really talking like a baby, but like talking and like you could like hear the baby talking. I mean, it was like, so weird.
 
2011-01-20 01:45:23 PM  
the lack of Kelly Preston pics in this thread is disturbing.
l.yimg.com
Scientology is nuts, but I'd still xenu her operating level.
//If you follow my awkward sexual metaphor, that is...
 
2011-01-20 01:54:41 PM  

ChubbyTiger: So, is the idea that the baby might hear some screaming or similar and be scarred for life? Am I close? I wonder what else a baby might have heard, at very close range, in the weeks or months preceeding its birth.


I wonder how my wife's moans of total abject boredom during conception will effect my kids.
 
2011-01-20 01:56:41 PM  

DamnYankees: L. Ron Hubbard found that the single source of aberration, of psychosomatic illnesses, stress, fears, worry, things like that, have to do with the reactive mind, and in that part of the mind is different words and commands that can come back to affect you later in your life.

Makes perfect sense.



The funny thing it, that's just really dumbed-down Freud. But because Hubbard had to declare war on psychoanalysis for the scam to work, no scientologist will admit it.

/hurrah, scientology thread!
//wonder how long until someone comes along and derails it?
 
2011-01-20 01:57:06 PM  
Careful now! Down with this sort of thing!
 
2011-01-20 02:13:17 PM  
Its a shame her children never got to spend any time with their great leader on his yacht in international waters. I hear it was a very religious experience to be in his presence.
 
2011-01-20 02:27:34 PM  
Yeah, but good luck keeeping her mouth shut about anything else, huh? AMIRITE?
 
2011-01-20 02:29:31 PM  
I like that Scientology has come along in my life time because I have been able to witness the birth of a religion.

Here you have this kooky science fiction writer who is on record as saying he wanted to start a religion. So he starts to do "experiments" and he comes up with this crazy feux system of rules and theories. He then starts a cult like following and specifically targets Hollywood because of the acceptance factor (and probably because your average actor is dumber than shiat). In the beginning it is more extreme and the rules are more strict but soon that is a PR nightmare so it slowly becomes more moderate as the more extreme beliefs are moved out of the mainstream. This all helps because now the founder is dead and they feel more free to bend his rules. Now it is cropping up every where, a Scientology center opened up down the street from where I grew up.

What will happens is that as it moves farther and farther away from the original adopting generation it will be tailored to the sentiment of that generation and will become more valid as people are around it forever. I bet by the end of my lifetime it won't even be scoffed at as much.

Now extrapolate that to teh Jesus. Jesus = Lron
 
2011-01-20 02:30:31 PM  

Brokenseas: DamnYankees: L. Ron Hubbard found that the single source of aberration, of psychosomatic illnesses, stress, fears, worry, things like that, have to do with the reactive mind, and in that part of the mind is different words and commands that can come back to affect you later in your life.

Makes perfect sense.


The funny thing it, that's just really dumbed-down Freud. But because Hubbard had to declare war on psychoanalysis for the scam to work, no scientologist will admit it.

/hurrah, scientology thread!
//wonder how long until someone comes along and derails it?


I don't think Hubbard was sane enough to "declare [a] war" on psychoanalysis or psychology for that matter. I just think he resented being declared unfit for military service due to his mental illness.

/My theory and I'm sticking to it
//"Silent birth" is like all the other $cientological "cures": misogynistic
 
2011-01-20 02:33:30 PM  

Brokenseas: DamnYankees: L. Ron Hubbard found that the single source of aberration, of psychosomatic illnesses, stress, fears, worry, things like that, have to do with the reactive mind, and in that part of the mind is different words and commands that can come back to affect you later in your life.

Makes perfect sense.


The funny thing it, that's just really dumbed-down Freud. But because Hubbard had to declare war on psychoanalysis for the scam to work, no scientologist will admit it.

/hurrah, scientology thread!
//wonder how long until someone comes along and derails it?


Though I don't recall what Freud's take on intergalactic DC-8s was.
 
2011-01-20 02:37:32 PM  

Guysmiley: Though I don't recall what Freud's take on intergalactic DC-8s was.


It represented a penis.
 
2011-01-20 02:39:07 PM  
they guy (ronny) talked to tomatoes

/that is all
 
2011-01-20 02:42:20 PM  

talulahgosh: ChubbyTiger: So, is the idea that the baby might hear some screaming or similar and be scarred for life? Am I close? I wonder what else a baby might have heard, at very close range, in the weeks or months preceeding its birth.

"please stop touching me"?
"dear god, what is that"?
"only with the lights off, honey"?


Yeah, the loud noises permanently disturb the baby, but losing your oxygen supply (when the mom's water breaks), and being squeezed through a tube so tight your head has to deform to get through, then struggling to take a breath - that's all perfectly calm and soothing.

Yep, that's some mighty fine reasoning there....
 
2011-01-20 02:47:53 PM  
Sure she was silent when the baby was being born, the gestational carrier was screaming her farking face off though.

/pillow babies scream? *side eyes my Pillow Pets*
 
2011-01-20 02:58:02 PM  
static2.aintitcool.com3.bp.blogspot.com

Take your pick.
 
2011-01-20 03:21:02 PM  
So moaning is alright but speaking isnt? I dont get it.


www.xenu.net
 
2011-01-20 03:26:27 PM  
I bet the birth wasn't NEARLY as awkward as the conception.
 
Byn
2011-01-20 03:27:13 PM  

dittybopper: Guysmiley: Though I don't recall what Freud's take on intergalactic DC-8s was.

It represented a penis.


How many Freudian Psychologists does it take to change a penis? LIGHTBULB! I meant to say lightbulb...
 
2011-01-20 03:31:49 PM  

Byn: dittybopper: Guysmiley: Though I don't recall what Freud's take on intergalactic DC-8s was.

It represented a penis.

How many Freudian Psychologists does it take to change a penis? LIGHTBULB! I meant to say lightbulb...


Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. A turgid, thrusting cigar.
 
2011-01-20 03:35:03 PM  
man, i wish bob heinlein had kept his damn mouth shut.
 
2011-01-20 03:46:42 PM  

Barry McCackiner: I like that Scientology has come along in my life time because I have been able to witness the birth of a religion.

Here you have this kooky science fiction writer who is on record as saying he wanted to start a religion. So he starts to do "experiments" and he comes up with this crazy feux system of rules and theories. He then starts a cult like following and specifically targets Hollywood because of the acceptance factor (and probably because your average actor is dumber than shiat). In the beginning it is more extreme and the rules are more strict but soon that is a PR nightmare so it slowly becomes more moderate as the more extreme beliefs are moved out of the mainstream. This all helps because now the founder is dead and they feel more free to bend his rules. Now it is cropping up every where, a Scientology center opened up down the street from where I grew up.

What will happens is that as it moves farther and farther away from the original adopting generation it will be tailored to the sentiment of that generation and will become more valid as people are around it forever. I bet by the end of my lifetime it won't even be scoffed at as much.

Now extrapolate that to teh Jesus. Jesus = Lron


Oh, you mean we'll forget that they are bat-shiat insane, destroy lives, and have tried to take over governments? cool

Here's another theory: Scientology will be prosecuted out of existence in western countries. They'll be reduced to sell their snake oil to the third world.
 
2011-01-20 03:57:57 PM  

tinyarena: Barry McCackiner: I like that Scientology has come along in my life time because I have been able to witness the birth of a religion.

Here you have this kooky science fiction writer who is on record as saying he wanted to start a religion. So he starts to do "experiments" and he comes up with this crazy feux system of rules and theories. He then starts a cult like following and specifically targets Hollywood because of the acceptance factor (and probably because your average actor is dumber than shiat). In the beginning it is more extreme and the rules are more strict but soon that is a PR nightmare so it slowly becomes more moderate as the more extreme beliefs are moved out of the mainstream. This all helps because now the founder is dead and they feel more free to bend his rules. Now it is cropping up every where, a Scientology center opened up down the street from where I grew up.

What will happens is that as it moves farther and farther away from the original adopting generation it will be tailored to the sentiment of that generation and will become more valid as people are around it forever. I bet by the end of my lifetime it won't even be scoffed at as much.

Now extrapolate that to teh Jesus. Jesus = Lron

Oh, you mean we'll forget that they are bat-shiat insane, destroy lives, and have tried to take over governments? cool

Here's another theory: Scientology will be prosecuted out of existence in western countries. They'll be reduced to sell their snake oil to the third world.


Yea....where it will flourish because if there's one sector of the world where "Snakeoil" stuff really takes off like a wildfire, it's the 3rd World! Give something that offers some sort of hope, no matter the cost/sacrifice to people with none to start with and you'll see it really develop. It's just like how this radical Islam really has taken hold in some areas of the world.

/Just get it out of the world permanently
//The Scientology...and well...all fundy branches of all religions, whilst we're at it!
 
2011-01-20 04:32:28 PM  

tinyarena: Oh, you mean we'll forget that they are bat-shiat insane, destroy lives, and have tried to take over governments? cool

Here's another theory: Scientology will be prosecuted out of existence in western countries. They'll be reduced to sell their snake oil to the third world.


Yes we will forget that. Christianity did the same thing when it was started. The members were made fun of and prosecuted. And eventually, the religion did take over countries and it has shaped the world. The Mormom trajectory is not too different, but they aren't going anywhere either. This is how religions are started. Once they get started they make their own history and they change with the times to stay relevant or they are abandoned. I see no end to Scientology, it just seems to be getting more mainstream and more populous. In 200 years I bet it will be viewed as "just another religion".
 
2011-01-20 06:01:49 PM  
Pre-Scientology Kelly Preston = Mmmmhmmm yes please.

Post-Scientology Anyone = Boner Repellent.
 
2011-01-20 07:05:00 PM  
The Co$ killed Paul Thomas Anderson's next picture in its infancy.

Just one more inexcusable act that can be lain directly at their feet.

/for that reason and so many more I loathe them.
//will not knowingly financially support (note: I didn't say wouldn't watch) any film starring featuring one of those poor deluded souls.
//Preston was hottest in Spellbinder and Twins.
///such a shame she metaphorically suction-sealed her lips to the long-decayed anus of L.Ron.
 
2011-01-20 07:17:21 PM  
And no, I don't believe that the lack of my $12.50 is going to cause any co$ member to suddenly denounce their belief in that bulls*it.

/a soul can dream, though.
 
2011-01-20 08:32:59 PM  

Barry McCackiner: In 200 years I bet it will be viewed as "just another religion" like mesmerism, Koreshanity, and phrenology. A right load of codswallop that tried to pass itself off as a seamless merger of scientific and occultist principles, and was finally dismissed entirely when the supposed "hard science" of the belief was conclusively proven to be laughably false, and the entire operation exposed as being nothing but a massive con job. Nowadays it's only brought up as an example of some of the sillier things people used to believe in, like the Cottington Fairies, biorhythms, and London bus schedules.


Fixed for logical accuracy. No pseudoscientific belief can avoid unbiased study indefinitely. Any flimflam operation that promises real, testable results based on verifiable principles has doomed itself from the start.
 
2011-01-20 08:49:19 PM  

EdgeRunner: Barry McCackiner: In 200 years I bet it will be viewed as "just another religion" like mesmerism, Koreshanity, and phrenology. A right load of codswallop that tried to pass itself off as a seamless merger of scientific and occultist principles, and was finally dismissed entirely when the supposed "hard science" of the belief was conclusively proven to be laughably false, and the entire operation exposed as being nothing but a massive con job. Nowadays it's only brought up as an example of some of the sillier things people used to believe in, like the Cottington Fairies, biorhythms, and London bus schedules.

Fixed for logical accuracy. No pseudoscientific belief can avoid unbiased study indefinitely. Any flimflam operation that promises real, testable results based on verifiable principles has doomed itself from the start.


I hear what you are saying but you missed my point. Scientology has already moved away from trying to be full science. It is already in the anecdote phase. You already have people talking about it like it is helping. Auditing sessions are becoming more about talking than about E-meters. That is what I was trying to say about changing with the times and becoming less extreme. The mere fact that you have a popular actress on a morning show talking about the merits of the beliefs is enough to start changing minds. You already have legions of people who believe in it already, you can't change their minds anymore.

I bet during Jesus' time there were people who were at the events of his "healings" who were poopooing on it and who could prove that he didn't heal anything. It doesn't matter if enough people believe. Once that many people believe it takes on a life of its own. People WANT something to tell them that there is a reason for things and that the things they experience are because of something predictable. It reassures them and they set their mind up to reinforce it. Scientology is already moving into that phase. It is not losing ground it is gaining ground and as it does it will be come more and more moderate.
 
2011-01-20 09:12:35 PM  

Brokenseas: /hurrah, scientology thread!
//wonder how long until someone comes along and derails it?


Barry McCackiner: Yes we will forget that. Christianity did the same thing when it was started. . . I see no end to Scientology, it just seems to be getting more mainstream and more populous. In 200 years I bet it will be viewed as "just another religion".


Answer your question Brokenseas?
 
2011-01-20 09:23:36 PM  
She's very attractive. Too bad her wife is gay.
 
2011-01-20 09:29:53 PM  

tinyarena: Brokenseas: /hurrah, scientology thread!
//wonder how long until someone comes along and derails it?

Barry McCackiner: Yes we will forget that. Christianity did the same thing when it was started. . . I see no end to Scientology, it just seems to be getting more mainstream and more populous. In 200 years I bet it will be viewed as "just another religion".

Answer your question Brokenseas?


lol, I'm talking about Scientology, I don't see how that is derailing it...

Maybe you would like: Hurrr durrr did you guys know that Kelly is married to Kesha?!?! Hahahahahah lolz
 
2011-01-20 09:45:46 PM  

Barry McCackiner: Here you have this kooky science fiction writer who is on record as saying he wanted to start a religion. So he starts to do "experiments" and he comes up with this crazy feux system of rules and theories. He then starts a cult like following and specifically targets Hollywood because of the acceptance factor (and probably because your average actor is dumber than shiat).


There's an important step you missed. At first, Dianetics was trotted out as "The Modern Science of Mental Health". Thing is... the authorities tend to have issues when you make outrageous health claims without so much as a jot of scientific evidence to show that it works. As the goverment began closing in to shut them down, LRH suddenly cried "But it's really a religion! In religion you don't HAVE to have proof! It's all FAITH!" Clerical collars were handed out to Dianetics auditors and told to begin wearing them immediately and presto: instant church.
 
2011-01-21 12:01:11 AM  

Barry McCackiner: Scientology is already moving into that phase. It is not losing ground it is gaining ground and as it does it will be come more and more moderate.


The group that's becoming ever larger and more mainstream isn't Scientology, it's Anonymous. So in a sense, yeah, I guess Scientology DID help spark a movement that promises to be around for a long, long time. High-fives all around, then?

/stupid Scientology, it can't even provide good enough plants/trolls to drive threads past the double digits anymore. 4chan would have been all up in this biatch! (Almost surely in some horrific literal fashion that would have haunted our nightmares for years.)
 
2011-01-21 03:39:31 AM  

Barry McCackiner: You already have legions of people who believe in it already, you can't change their minds anymore.


Not really "legions". Some estimates put Co$ membership at only 8 million worldwide, with membership in nearly every single country exaggerated by the Church's claims.
 
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