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(The New York Times)   All that self-esteem building is leading to epidemic levels of pathological ninnyishness in kids   (nytimes.com) divider line 54
    More: Obvious, nice, Chinese-American, peer pressure, self control, self-esteem, Kate Winslet, self-esteem building, epidemic levels  
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8475 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2011 at 6:28 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2011-01-19 06:33:33 PM  
Not in my child.
 
2011-01-19 06:35:18 PM  
I am posting this because I am special, and because I am sepcial you have to read and respect it and agree with me. If you don't you are a big poo poo head
 
2011-01-19 06:37:07 PM  
Precious snowflakes are precious.
 
2011-01-19 06:38:06 PM  
I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me! -- Jack Handey
 
2011-01-19 06:38:34 PM  
I keep saying it

We grow up and think we know better, we with our great foundation of skills and sense, can somehow parent better than our parents and so we try to do things differently, more progressive or what have you, our kids call us by our first names and feel they have a right to discuss and amend family rules just because they don't like them, they criticize the way we budget when they have no idea whats its like to be an adult, and then "oh shiat why are our children little bastards"

it's like, tell me, why is it that you thought that if your sense of morality and fairness and scruples were elevated so hard over your parents, why is it that you think the way you were raised didnt play into that at all?
 
2011-01-19 06:38:51 PM  
I'm sure the bullied kids still have amazingly low levels of self esteem along with high levels of self loathing, rage, and depression.
 
2011-01-19 06:39:33 PM  
Hitler should have been like "Omg Germans are such a weak race" and they would have won
 
2011-01-19 06:39:42 PM  

pounddawg: I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me! -- Jack Handey Stuart Smalley


FTFY.
 
2011-01-19 06:47:12 PM  
The term pathological ninnyishness made me think of these two:

i51.tinypic.com
 
2011-01-19 06:48:37 PM  
If the mods aren't going to enforce the submission rules, why bother listing them?

Articles from the following sites will automatically be rejected:

* Sites that shut themselves down after getting a lot of traffic, like Geocities did when it was alive
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2011-01-19 06:48:50 PM  
Stupid, nonsensical article that probably misquoted and misrepresented what psychologists told them, etc. etc. Categorize it under, "commerce" and ignore it. End of line.
 
2011-01-19 06:49:23 PM  
my children will fear me
 
2011-01-19 06:49:49 PM  

SpinStopper: The term pathological ninnyishness made me think of these two:


They are perfect examples of ninnies.
 
2011-01-19 06:50:19 PM  

pounddawg: I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me! -- Jack Handey


That was Stuart Smiley you dolt!
latimesblogs.latimes.com

/You're not a dolt.
 
2011-01-19 06:50:26 PM  

soundguy: If the mods aren't going to enforce the submission rules, why bother listing them?

Articles from the following sites will automatically be rejected:

* Sites that shut themselves down after getting a lot of traffic, like Geocities did when it was alive
* Ananova (long story)
* Any site requiring logins or registration to read articles
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I am annoyed by this as well. NYT always asks me to create an account and log in. FFFHHHHUUUCH that!
 
2011-01-19 06:52:49 PM  
All of that nonsense was enough BS to fertilize 90% of the world's crops !
 
2011-01-19 06:53:19 PM  
You guys are crushing my self esteem.

/correction noted.
 
2011-01-19 06:55:24 PM  
Can't recommend this book enough
img.photobucket.com
 
2011-01-19 06:55:26 PM  
Darwin said it, I believe it, that settles it.

Kill your own dinner, son!
 
2011-01-19 06:59:58 PM  
Yes. The human race needs to be dumber. Good call.

Perhaps we should elect more leaders with the first name "Dick".

/nttawwt
 
2011-01-19 07:00:40 PM  
Ninny kid blaming baby boomers for ruining the country in 4...3...2...
 
2011-01-19 07:12:44 PM  

TheRedMonkey


pounddawg: I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me! -- Jack Handey

That was Stuart Smiley you dolt!


I think his last name was Smalley.


Not proud that I know that.
 
2011-01-19 07:13:26 PM  
It's from Judith Warner. You can just stop right there. If there's any sort of New York metro area parental vapid trendiness that would make you cough cubes, she's written it. I used to read her column occasionally to get a good morning hate going for the day. If she's not managing to see some sort of national issue through the eyes of her perfect child ("What's 9/11, Mommy?"), she's talking about their summer place in France.

My favorite column was when she confessed that she and her husband were running out of money because of the newspaper business biting the wax tadpole, and so were trying to economize, including selling their useless SUV, which they bought because some fun, outdoorsy neighbors had one.
 
2011-01-19 07:17:29 PM  
farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2011-01-19 07:24:36 PM  
Gee, whatever happened to moderation?

My kid's doing okay. Her dad and I, despite the dreaded "broken home" get compliments all the time on our kid. Out of all the things about her I'm proud of, the thing I'm proudest of is that she's a genuinely nice person.

Kindness is underrated these days.

She's smart, she's in honors classes, all kinds of good things--and also a few age-appropriate pain-in-the-neck behaviors. Your basic normal kid.

You know what?

You can't use us as models for parenting. We didn't mold our little darling into a nice person who works hard and is smart and gets good grades.

Guess who gets up every day and decides to be nice to people? She does. Guess who sits down and actually does the damn homework? She does. Guess who behaves with more maturity than a lot of kids her age despite some challenges I won't specify? She does.

We tried to be good parents. We tried to make good choices. Not everything turned out the way we planned, but it never does.

In the end, you can't make your kid good or bad. All you can do is try very hard to set a good example, feed them, clothe them, make them behave non-obnoxiously towards others----and then their personal responsibility for their own choices kicks in.

You can't expect your kid to step up and take responsibility for their bad choices if you don't let them have credit for their good ones.

The reason we can't save kids from bad parents with school lunches or midnight basketball or test scores or school uniforms or any other gimmicks is because example is so important.

When you get right down to it, keep them alive and healthy, don't let them mistreat others---and from there, example is pretty much the only thing that matters a damn.

The example of helicopter parents is the worst thing they do---they lack common sense and a sense of proportion. They want what they want when they want it, and they're willing to walk all over other people to get it--no respect for other kids, other parents, the teachers, the community, people around them.

And their kids grow up to want what they want when they want it, and have no sense of proportion, and no respect for the other people around them. The parents are brats, and even though their kids may be brats about different things, they're just following Mommy and Daddy's example.
 
2011-01-19 07:33:55 PM  

soundguy: If the mods aren't going to enforce the submission rules, why bother listing them?

Articles from the following sites will automatically be rejected:

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Article loaded fine for me with no login requirements, you sound like an entitled ninny.
 
2011-01-19 07:35:38 PM  

soundguy: If the mods aren't going to enforce the submission rules, why bother listing them?

Articles from the following sites will automatically be rejected:

* Sites that shut themselves down after getting a lot of traffic, like Geocities did when it was alive
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This.
 
2011-01-19 07:48:12 PM  
God, that article was wordy. She must be paid by the line.
 
2011-01-19 07:48:16 PM  
As much as I agree about the ninnyness, enough already with references to that farking "Chinese Moms" article!

Amy Chua, Fark you! Attention whore!
 
2011-01-19 08:04:33 PM  
Getting kids to be nice to each other is the hardest thing ever. And now, with all the self esteem nonsense, kids feel the need to protect their own hollow, un-earned self-esteem by battering down that of others.

I teach. I sometimes feel like I'm stranded on the island in Lord of the Flies.

Self esteem comes from a)being supported at home (not spoiled) b)succeeding because of that support and d) getting the honest respect of others because of aforementioned successes.

Currently, many of the children I teach simply have been told that they're awesome no matter what they do or how they treat others. They are the center of their own universe, consideration for others, even others they like, is just not a priority.

And since they think they're wonderful, any failure is OBVIOUSLY not their fault. They have a million excuses as to why what they did or didn't do is not their fault. They're constant victims. Because after all--they are awesome! How could they ever be at fault for anything?

Today, one of my students talked in line. When I hushed him, he had a raging indignant fit about how -I- somehow made him talk in line, and it wasn't fair.

...yeah.

/teacher rant
 
2011-01-19 08:08:16 PM  
Where did we ever get the idea that we could "give" kids self-esteem?
There's a reason they call it "self-esteem".
You have to get it from yourself.
 
2011-01-19 08:08:53 PM  

interstitialofficial: Stupid, nonsensical article that probably misquoted and misrepresented what psychologists told them, etc. etc. Categorize it under, "commerce" and ignore it. End of line.


/NYT rant on

Came here to say this. As usual, the vaunted NYT who promotes individuality over common sense in children, promotes teaching children that they are "little adults", etc, is the same newspaper lamely reporting that it's their audiences fault, which is typical because it's always someone else's fault with the NYT.

/NYT rant off
 
2011-01-19 08:11:52 PM  

Kymry: Getting kids to be nice to each other is the hardest thing ever. And now, with all the self esteem nonsense, kids feel the need to protect their own hollow, un-earned self-esteem by battering down that of others.

I teach. I sometimes feel like I'm stranded on the island in Lord of the Flies.

Self esteem comes from a)being supported at home (not spoiled) b)succeeding because of that support and dc) getting the honest respect of others because of aforementioned successes.


FTFY

[grin]
 
2011-01-19 08:12:34 PM  
ilikechocolatemilk

That's okay because he like the abuse.
 
2011-01-19 08:24:24 PM  
Wash their mouths out with soap. Take your hand off their face. Give them a clip round the ear And then send them to bed with no supper.

/when I were a lad...
 
2011-01-19 08:28:27 PM  
Proving yet again, all you need to know about being a good parent you can learn from from the oompa loompas.
/parent of a 13 yr old who just had to get mean regarding homework and chores
 
2011-01-19 08:29:50 PM  

dready zim: Wash their mouths out with soap. Take your hand off their face. Give them a clip round the ear And then send them to bed with no supper.

/when I were a lad...


A slap up along the side of the head has cured more stupidity of young boys than anything else. I'd rather the boys be cuffed up along side the head by me than handcuffed by the pigs.
 
2011-01-19 08:33:56 PM  
The true parenting method is somewhere between the extreme positiveness and extreme criticism. But tailored for each kid, depending on which side of the scale they respond to the most.
 
2011-01-19 08:47:07 PM  

Seamer: The true parenting method is somewhere between the extreme positiveness and extreme criticism. But tailored for each kid, depending on which side of the scale they respond to the mostthe way I remember growing up, and fark all y'all.


FTFY
 
2011-01-19 09:10:15 PM  

Bagelox-99: Seamer: The true parenting method is somewhere between the extreme positiveness and extreme criticism. But tailored for each kid, depending on which side of the scale they respond to the mostthe way I remember growing up, and fark all y'all.

FTFY


No, that's what we call "projection".
 
2011-01-19 09:11:23 PM  
Spare the rod and spoil the child. Too many people think that the rod in this saying means hitting the kid. It doesn't. It means that sometimes you have to be resolute and let your kids know that, just like in the real world, actions have consequences and that they won't always win no matter how good they are at something and that they will rarely win if they don't put the work into winning in the first place. As a kid the consequences of losing are, in a real world sense, very small (although of course they won't see it that way in their own little bubble) but the lessons learned from losing (hopefully with some grace) will help them not only cope with life in general but also help them in planning out a way to win in life in general as an adult. Parents are doing their kids a great disservice by not letting their kids lose and an even greater disservice by not letting them learn at an early age that hard work is the best way to ensure that they win.

It's really about whether they want to deal with their snowflake crying a little bit today and learning something from it for the next time or let them learn the same lesson later on in life where the punishment is much more real and may have long term consequences.
 
2011-01-19 09:16:31 PM  

soundguy: If the mods aren't going to enforce the submission rules, why bother listing them?

Articles from the following sites will automatically be rejected:

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2011-01-19 09:52:56 PM  
hmm, I wonder if "pathological ninnyishness" is in DSM(IV).
 
2011-01-19 10:03:38 PM  
The article notes the author "demands perfection" from her kids. What she is teaching them instead is that nothing they ever do is good enough for her. They probably won't suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder as adults, and they most likely won't be disabled by crippling, lifelong depression. But her parenting method increases the likelihood of both.
 
2011-01-19 10:52:31 PM  
I think a more accurate description would be "liberals," but i appreciate the spin you put on it subby
 
2011-01-19 11:07:27 PM  
You know, I grew up when self-esteem curriculum first began to really catch hold in America, and remember pretty clearly sitting in classes where they lectured to us about self-esteem. As an adult, I look at people my age and none of them seem to be any more spoiled/petulant/self-entitled then all of the other hopeless bastards in my generation before me and after me.

Maybe if we just settled on the notion that everybody sucks we can stop having retarded articles like this one.
 
2011-01-19 11:34:46 PM  

Kymry: Getting kids to be nice to each other is the hardest thing ever. And now, with all the self esteem nonsense, kids feel the need to protect their own hollow, un-earned self-esteem by battering down that of others.

I teach. I sometimes feel like I'm stranded on the island in Lord of the Flies.

Self esteem comes from a)being supported at home (not spoiled) b)succeeding because of that support and d) getting the honest respect of others because of aforementioned successes.

Currently, many of the children I teach simply have been told that they're awesome no matter what they do or how they treat others. They are the center of their own universe, consideration for others, even others they like, is just not a priority.

And since they think they're wonderful, any failure is OBVIOUSLY not their fault. They have a million excuses as to why what they did or didn't do is not their fault. They're constant victims. Because after all--they are awesome! How could they ever be at fault for anything?

Today, one of my students talked in line. When I hushed him, he had a raging indignant fit about how -I- somehow made him talk in line, and it wasn't fair.

...yeah.

/teacher rant



A..B...D... Huh? You said you teach? Explains a lot about the stupidity that is running rampant.
 
2011-01-19 11:53:51 PM  
Can we please stop giving this Amy Chua traction? She's already been in a couple of greenlit articles recently, and can't even keep her story straight on whether she's serious about the birthday card or trolling for the lulz (which was her excuse on NPR when her sanity was questioned).
Don't feed the trolls IRL either.
 
2011-01-20 01:02:20 AM  
That whole article on parenting and nary a mention of a father. Methinks I see part of the problem. It takes a balance, folks.

/yeah, I saw the mention of a husband. It's not the same thing.
 
2011-01-20 05:15:35 AM  

soundguy: If the mods aren't going to enforce the submission rules, why bother listing them?

Articles from the following sites will automatically be rejected:

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* Ananova (long story)
* Any site requiring logins or registration to read articles
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It loaded just fine for me - no login.
 
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