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(Some Guy)   I tanned a turtle   (coventrytelegraph.net) divider line 70
    More: Interesting, turtles, coventry Telegraph, Coventry City  
•       •       •

17748 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2011 at 3:56 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-01-17 03:58:35 PM  
turtle boobies with tan lines
 
2011-01-17 03:59:26 PM  
Your argument is invalid.
 
2011-01-17 04:01:55 PM  
Next year's headline: Turtles die mystery death from cancerous skin lesions.
 
2011-01-17 04:03:04 PM  
I like turtles.
 
2011-01-17 04:03:22 PM  
Look, I get lonely sometimes too...but I don't go making headlines about it on Fark.
 
2011-01-17 04:03:43 PM  
I tanned a beaver.
 
2011-01-17 04:04:34 PM  

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: Look, I get lonely sometimes too...but I don't go making headlines about it on Fark.


It's Totalfark discussion creep onto the mainpage!
 
2011-01-17 04:05:33 PM  
Obligatory...
www.maniacworld.com
 
2011-01-17 04:07:11 PM  

Fra_dat_da: turtle boobies? with tan lines


www.motifake.com
 
2011-01-17 04:07:26 PM  
And you blew a seal last week, subby.
A gentleman keeps things under his own roof.
 
2011-01-17 04:08:17 PM  
Is this the first step towards gay marrying a turtle?
 
2011-01-17 04:11:53 PM  
Strange this is 'news'. Go to any pet store, any zoo or any place they keep animals and you will see heat lamps. Reptiles is cold blooded yo.

This article is about as informative and groundbreaking as 'Old men sometimes take a long time to pee'.
 
2011-01-17 04:16:36 PM  
Obligatory...

I saw a turtle (new window)
 
2011-01-17 04:17:41 PM  
I tanned a turtle - but I did not shoot the deputy.

/got nothing
 
2011-01-17 04:20:42 PM  
Awesome, I love funny, cute turtle pics and that's exactly what I need near the end of a Monday. *click* NO PICS IN THIS ARTICLE?!
www.pollexworld.com
 
2011-01-17 04:25:14 PM  

Pollexabator: Awesome, I love funny, cute turtle pics and that's exactly what I need near the end of a Monday. *click* NO PICS IN THIS ARTICLE?!


Agreed. Can mods not greenlight an article that clearly should have a picture, but doesn't?
 
2011-01-17 04:31:46 PM  
Man, a cliche reference from 2006. Blast from the past... As for the article, I wish someone would give me a sunbed to survive the winter. Damn turtles.
 
2011-01-17 04:34:37 PM  
... and I liked it
 
2011-01-17 04:34:45 PM  
And I liked it?
 
2011-01-17 04:36:37 PM  
Came in here to say "and I liked it" but apparently I've been beaten to the punch.
 
2011-01-17 04:39:21 PM  

invictus2: Fra_dat_da: turtle boobies? with tan lines


Kinda looks like the turtle in the purple has her hand down the turtle in the blues pants.

/Hey, I can dream, right?
 
2011-01-17 04:40:21 PM  
In other news: turtles are going broke after multiple visits to tanning beds
 
2011-01-17 04:44:00 PM  
Here's some happy for you guys:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8_Kxg_tw7A
 
2011-01-17 04:45:33 PM  
Why isn't there any pics in the article. :(
 
2011-01-17 04:48:32 PM  
After you tanned a turtle, did you wax the dolphin?
 
2011-01-17 04:49:41 PM  
Since turtles are not white do they still have to pay the tanning tax?
 
2011-01-17 04:55:58 PM  
That's OK. I shat on one.

/sat?
//never understood that.
///perhaps that's the point.
////TURTLE POWER!
 
2011-01-17 04:59:22 PM  
Does this mean we're going to end up with a turtle for Speaker of the House?
 
2011-01-17 05:01:33 PM  
What, no Bladerunner ref?
 
2011-01-17 05:05:38 PM  
I carried a watermelon
 
2011-01-17 05:07:58 PM  
Turtles NEED sun to process calcium.
 
2011-01-17 05:10:29 PM  
but did you shoot the deputy?
 
2011-01-17 05:13:39 PM  

SwiftFox: What, no Bladerunner ref?


Fine!!!! You've driven me to it!

howtopool.comhowtopool.com

Holden: You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down...
Leon: What one?
Holden: What?
Leon: What desert?
Holden: It doesn't make any difference what desert, it's completely hypothetical.
Leon: But, how come I'd be there?
Holden: Maybe you're fed up. Maybe you want to be by yourself. Who knows? You look down and see a tortoise, Leon. It's crawling toward you...
Leon: Tortoise? What's that?
Holden: You know what a turtle is?
Leon: Of course!
Holden: Same thing.
Leon: I've never seen a turtle... But I understand what you mean.
Holden: You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back, Leon.
Leon: Do you make up these questions, Mr. Holden? Or do they write 'em down for you?
Holden: The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.
Leon: What do you mean, I'm not helping?
Holden: I mean: you're not helping! Why is that, Leon?....
Holden: They're just questions, Leon. In answer to your query, they're written down for me. It's a test, designed to provoke an emotional response... Shall we continue?
 
2011-01-17 05:14:56 PM  

Oldiron_79: Turtles NEED sun to process calcium.


And that would make even more sense than the headline, if the article was actually about a lamp providing extra UV radiation. Since it's about a HEAT lamp providing a little extra warmth, subby's headline is a bit off.

Most reptile owners have heat lamps for their critters. They're COLD blooded.
 
2011-01-17 05:18:45 PM  
I didn't know Rolf Harris was a turtle.
 
2011-01-17 05:22:34 PM  
For some reason I have this song (new window) stuck in my head after reading submitter's headline.
 
2011-01-17 05:23:28 PM  

navig: ... and I liked it


Taste of its turtle chapstick.
 
2011-01-17 05:26:01 PM  
FTFA: The turtles, which live at Bristol's Blue Reef Aquarium, are either rescued or have been donated by members of the public after outgrowing their original homes.

Wait, I thought those are supposed to grow with them.
 
2011-01-17 05:28:26 PM  
I tanned a turtle.

But I did not tan the deputy.
 
2011-01-17 05:30:12 PM  

Grass Hopper: I tanned a turtle - but I did not shoot the deputy.

/got nothing


Ack, dammit, you beat me to it!
 
2011-01-17 05:37:36 PM  
Is that what they're calling it, now? Well, I certainly hope it was your own turtle, good man.

/Did RTFA
//Waiting for officials to find any turtles at the local industrial waste dump
//TMNT British Edition?! The masters of the Bobby Stick nunchaku...
///Got nothin but this here can o' fine rare Scotch
 
2011-01-17 05:39:23 PM  
Morbo wishes these stalwart nomads peace among the Dutch tulips.
 
2011-01-17 05:40:45 PM  
m1ke: Morbo wishes these stalwart nomads peace among the Dutch tulips.

I'm sure the Windmills will help keep them cool
 
2011-01-17 05:44:13 PM  
Sounds like a buffet for a bird of prey. How big are these turtles?
 
2011-01-17 06:27:11 PM  

Grass Hopper: I tanned a turtle - but I did not shoot the deputy.

/got nothing


Shmoooooo: but did you shoot the deputy?


Klom Dark: I tanned a turtle.

But I did not tan the deputy.


damn you guys are fast...
i was gonna go with ... but i did not tan the manatee

/are you a turtle?
 
2011-01-17 06:53:17 PM  

VvonderJesus: Your argument is invalid.


That shiat actually made me laugh out loud.
 
2011-01-17 06:58:04 PM  

fubarfreestyle: Grass Hopper: I tanned a turtle - but I did not shoot the deputy.

/got nothing

Shmoooooo: but did you shoot the deputy?

Klom Dark: I tanned a turtle.

But I did not tan the deputy.

damn you guys are fast...
i was gonna go with ... but i did not tan the manatee

/are you a turtle?


Manatee is funnier, you win! :)
 
2011-01-17 07:44:54 PM  
when I was about 9 years old, I lived next to a pond that had bunch of ducks and a chitload of turtles living in it. I became quite a turtleologist and a darn good turtle catcher. I could see a turtle from 50 yards away and catch it with Steve Irwin-like success. One time I found a whole bunch of young, small, red-eared sliders-- about this size:

http://www.gotpetsonline.com/pictures-gallery/reptile-pictures-breeders-babies/ r ed-eared-slider-turtle-pictures-breeders-babies/pictures/red-eared-slider-turtle -0026.jpg

My friend and picked them all up and skipped them across the water like stones-- some of them skipped all the way across to the other side-I am sure some of them died- the full grown mother was watching the whole time and was totally calm about it-- from that day on, I always thought turtles were so stupid.
 
2011-01-17 07:59:23 PM  
Ref:

farm3.static.flickr.com
 
2011-01-17 08:15:16 PM  

j.carney: Oldiron_79: Turtles NEED sun to process calcium.

And that would make even more sense than the headline, if the article was actually about a lamp providing extra UV radiation. Since it's about a HEAT lamp providing a little extra warmth, subby's headline is a bit off.

Most reptile owners have heat lamps for their critters. They're COLD blooded.


We've got a 9" diameter red eared slider (yes, that's a turtle) with a basking platform I made for her, and two lamps; a sun lamp for heat and a UVA/UVB lamp for the proper wavelength. She'll climb up the ramp and sit under the lamps and obviously enjoy herself.

/just gave her 3 dozen minnows for neighbors
//she ate all of them within two hours
///in an 80 gallon tank
 
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