FARK.com: (5871891) Gwyneth Paltrow's "Country Strong" performance is being received as favorably as salsa from New York City (some spoilers)

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		Gwyneth Paltrow's "Country Strong" performance is being received as favorably as salsa from New York City (some spoilers) (celebitchy.com)		72
		More: Fail, Gwyneth Paltrow, Rock Hudson, The Star-Ledger, Citizen Kane, true grit, Douglas Sirk, warbles, Rotten Tomatoes

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3301 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 07 Jan 2011 at 7:29 PM | Favorite | share:

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msannomalley		2011-01-07 04:42:42 PM

Get the rope.

Mugato		2011-01-07 04:52:30 PM

They don't like salsa in New York?

coco ebert		2011-01-07 04:57:11 PM

More like "C*ntry Strong", amirite?

Nabb1		2011-01-07 05:03:27 PM

I imagine most people would have issues with a film in which a pregnancy country star got drunk and fell off the stage, miscarrying.

That sentence is almost as painful to read as country music is to hear.

veedeevadeevoodee		2011-01-07 06:05:14 PM

/ on-2, biatches :)

Fark It		2011-01-07 06:27:44 PM

I saw the trailer for this in front of True Grit, and it was almost like somebody watched Walk Hard without realizing it was a spoof and decided to make that with a female lead.

DjangoStonereaver		2011-01-07 06:29:25 PM

Some of the best salsa I ever had was in an NYC Mexican joint,
so shut your narrow minded pie hole redneckmitter.

/Most gourmet food in NYC is made by Mexicans anyway, regardless of its ethnicity.

jadeblue		2011-01-07 07:34:49 PM

coco ebert: More like "C*ntry Strong", amirite?

That made me laugh more than it should have.

Tui		2011-01-07 07:36:09 PM

I just can't stand Gwyneth Paltrow.

I have nothing to add to that.

farkingismybusiness		2011-01-07 07:37:03 PM

Trackball		2011-01-07 07:37:35 PM

DjangoStonereaver: Some of the best salsa I ever had was in an NYC Mexican joint,
so shut your narrow minded pie hole redneckmitter.

/Most gourmet food in NYC is made by Mexicans anyway, regardless of its ethnicity.

Yeah, we can't have those rednecks getting all uppity thinking they can be narrow minded like the rest of the county.

HotSalsaZoot		2011-01-07 07:38:08 PM

She puttin' the c*nt back in country!

/mods won't let me say that, thought it
//was more sociable than cocksucker...........

rynthetyn		2011-01-07 07:38:23 PM

zvoidx		2011-01-07 07:46:01 PM

"Sharpest knees in Hollywood"

E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease		2011-01-07 07:50:31 PM

I saw the previews for this POS, she is a worse actress than just about anyone, including Denise Richards

Apos		2011-01-07 07:53:15 PM

This movie = Glitter and Coal Miner's Daughter 's deformed baby

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener		2011-01-07 07:57:28 PM

I saw the trailer for this before True Grit.

I kinda wish I hadn't.

True Grit shouldn't have been a palate cleanser for this shiat.

Pave_the_Planet		2011-01-07 08:12:16 PM

I thought it was some basic "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" (as in trainee steals from the idol) mixed with "Crazy Heart".

Pave_the_Planet		2011-01-07 08:15:33 PM

I did NOT see it, by the way. I refuse to waste the ten bucks.

DjangoStonereaver		2011-01-07 08:17:12 PM

rynthetyn: DjangoStonereaver: Some of the best salsa I ever had was in an NYC Mexican joint,
so shut your narrow minded pie hole redneckmitter.

/Most gourmet food in NYC is made by Mexicans anyway, regardless of its ethnicity.

You do know the headline is in reference to the '80s era Pace Picante commercials, right?

Yup.

Those commercials pissed me off then, and they piss me off now.

/Just had some spicy Doritos in protest.

Clock Spider Jerusalem		2011-01-07 08:30:55 PM

People are totally unfair to Gwyneth Paltrow. She has beautiful nipples.

Hetfield		2011-01-07 08:34:41 PM

Tui: I just can't stand Gwyneth Paltrow.

I have nothing to add to that.

She was great in Proof.

stoli n coke		2011-01-07 08:37:59 PM

So, it's "Crazy Heart," "Tender Mercies," "Coal Miner's Daughter," and "Walk The Line," but with pop country music instead of good music?

Sorry, Mrs. Coldplay, no Oscar for you this time.

/Personally, I'd like to see the guy that made "I'm Not There" tackle a movie about Hank Williams.

shivashakti		2011-01-07 08:38:14 PM

Unless her head ends up in a box, I'm not interested...

Clock Spider Jerusalem		2011-01-07 08:38:59 PM

shivashakti: Unless her head ends up in a box, I'm not interested...

Whose box?

Snatch Bandergrip		2011-01-07 09:01:03 PM

Reaction upon seeing this movie:

"OH, GOD. OHHHH. OH, GOD."

www.comicbookmovie.com

Tsar_Bomba1		2011-01-07 09:01:52 PM

Apos: This movie = Glitter and Coal Miner's Daughter 's deformed baby

Kill me... kill me!

southparkstudios-intl.mtvnimages.com

OgreTronicsInc.		2011-01-07 09:06:04 PM

Clock Spider Jerusalem: shivashakti: Unless her head ends up in a box, I'm not interested...

Whose box?

Run's Box!!!!

texdent		2011-01-07 09:09:04 PM

New York City?!

movieman_1979		2011-01-07 09:16:41 PM

Paltrow in an actress who always did her best work behind a british accent.

Consider:

- Sliding Doors (accent)

- View From The Top (no accent)

- Shakespeare In Love (accent, and, what got her an oscar)

- A Perfect Murder (no accent, good movie, but she was rubbish)

- Emma (accent)

- Duets (no accent)

The one exception might be Great Expectations, a beautifully shot movie where she plays (wait for it) an ice queen, with no accent.

miss diminutive		2011-01-07 09:29:49 PM

movieman_1979: The one exception might be Great Expectations, a beautifully shot movie where she plays (wait for it) an ice queen, with no accent.

Complete threadjack here, but I remember watching that movie with my grandparents and during the love scene Paltrow whispers "I want you inside me" and it was easily one of the most uncomfortable moments of my childhood.

But yeah, I saw the trailer for this before True Grit as well. I was not impressed.

TheSelphie		2011-01-07 09:34:30 PM

Saw the trailer for this before Black Swan. It was incredibly painful. I hated Gywneth Paltrow before this and the hatred grew exponentially after seeing that vile trailer. Most annoying actress in Hollywood by far.

Fish in a Barrel		2011-01-07 09:44:05 PM

This is one of the most egregiously miscast roles I can think of.

movieman_1979		2011-01-07 09:56:07 PM

miss diminutive: movieman_1979: The one exception might be Great Expectations, a beautifully shot movie where she plays (wait for it) an ice queen, with no accent.

Complete threadjack here, but I remember watching that movie with my grandparents and during the love scene Paltrow whispers "I want you inside me" and it was easily one of the most uncomfortable moments of my childhood.

But yeah, I saw the trailer for this before True Grit as well. I was not impressed.

I should think that after the scene where Ethan Hawke slides his fingers up her leg and it's implied that he proceeds to "Gwyneth" her "Paltrow" with his fingers that you would have dove behind your grandparents couch...

robsul82		2011-01-07 10:08:47 PM

I'm thrilled the movie came out - for a while there, it seemed like that farking trailer played in front of everything I saw.

robsul82		2011-01-07 10:17:41 PM

robsul82: I'm thrilled the movie came out - for a while there, it seemed like that farking trailer played in front of everything I saw.

Oh, and I just got back from taking my mother to see it. It's completely terrible with a ridiculous ending.

Do I really have to give a spoiler alert?

/Gwyneth kills herself via pills and booze after giving a great performance in the same arena where, a year earlier, she miscarried after drunkenly falling off the stage

TheSelphie		2011-01-07 10:24:13 PM

robsul82: Oh, and I just got back from taking my mother to see it. It's completely terrible with a ridiculous ending.

Do I really have to give a spoiler alert?

/Gwyneth kills herself via pills and booze after giving a great performance in the same arena where, a year earlier, she miscarried after drunkenly falling off the stage

Now that might be worth seeing for the lulz. I doubt I could stomach the whole movie but that scene sounds hilarious.

Johnny the Fox		2011-01-07 10:28:02 PM

HotSalsaZoot: She puttin' the c*nt back in country!

/mods won't let me say that, thought it
//was more sociable than cocksucker...........

If only it was about Carlene Carter.

/If only...

robsul82		2011-01-07 10:30:05 PM

TheSelphie: Now that might be worth seeing for the lulz. I doubt I could stomach the whole movie but that scene sounds hilarious.

Sadly not even worth seeing for the lulz - she locks the door of her dressing room behind her, we go to the afterparty where everyone's celebrating, the young country singer she's farking on the side realizes she's not there and goes to check on her, he kicks the door down and she's unresponsive when he tries to wake her up. No wailing, no AC-TING! from Gwyneth, zip. Just a bad, bad film all around. I mean, at least Worst Picture of 2010 Skyline had an out-of-left-field ending DEFINITELY worth seeing for the lulz.

TheSelphie		2011-01-07 10:32:33 PM

robsul82: TheSelphie: Now that might be worth seeing for the lulz. I doubt I could stomach the whole movie but that scene sounds hilarious.

Sadly not even worth seeing for the lulz - she locks the door of her dressing room behind her, we go to the afterparty where everyone's celebrating, the young country singer she's farking on the side realizes she's not there and goes to check on her, he kicks the door down and she's unresponsive when he tries to wake her up. No wailing, no AC-TING! from Gwyneth, zip. Just a bad, bad film all around. I mean, at least Worst Picture of 2010 Skyline had an out-of-left-field ending DEFINITELY worth seeing for the lulz.

Dammit. Well, I appreciate you telling me that, saves me a dollar renting it on Redbox.

robsul82		2011-01-07 10:36:08 PM

TheSelphie: Dammit. Well, I appreciate you telling me that, saves me a dollar renting it on Redbox.

No worries - like others have said, Gwyneth talking to an abandoned baby bird in a box in The Most Subtle Act of Symbolism Ever, the tweeeest ending of Gwyneth killing herself, there's potential for a success along the lines of Nicolas Cage's The Wicker Man. Instead it's just a really shiatty Lifetime movie - or CMT, rather.

/not on the same level as The Wicker Man, of course, because NOTHING can approach the ridiculous majesty of that film

sorebones		2011-01-07 11:00:31 PM

When I saw there were 41 responses to this article I thought at least 38 of them would be "NEW YORK CITY?!" but there was only one. And it wasn't even in caps. You suck, fark.com.

count_chimpula		2011-01-07 11:28:02 PM

Johnny the Fox: HotSalsaZoot: She puttin' the c*nt back in country!

/mods won't let me say that, thought it
//was more sociable than cocksucker...........

If only it was about Carlene Carter.

/If only...

Yeah but remember it's cruel to be kind...

Smeggy Smurf		2011-01-07 11:28:12 PM

HotSalsaZoot: She puttin' the c*nt back in country!

/mods won't let me say that, thought it
//was more sociable than cocksucker...........

rockforward.files.wordpress.com

falcon176		2011-01-07 11:47:32 PM

looked like they showed the whole movie in the trailer, some country biatch gets famous does drugs some other country biatch is the new shiat but then the old country biatch comes back and takes her shiat back the end how exciting, please allow me to preorder tickets for the low price of $50 per to see this gem

varmitydog		2011-01-08 12:05:49 AM

She's gone country, look at them boots
She's gone country, back to her roots
She's gone country, a new kind of suit
She's gone country, here she comes

Only problem is, she can't sing worth a lick. I mean, at least Beverly DeAngelo and Sissy Spacek could sing a little.
They should have dubbed her voice with a real singer and had her lip sync, like they did for Jessica Lange in Sweet Dreams.

Mentat		2011-01-08 12:10:30 AM

I can't wait for the porn parody, "Country Schlong".

sirrerun		2011-01-08 12:20:44 AM

What New York Salsa might SOUND like. (nueva windows)

mr0x		2011-01-08 01:09:35 AM

Hetfield: Tui: I just can't stand Gwyneth Paltrow.

I have nothing to add to that.

She was great in Proof.

I love the movie Proof.

I saw an advance screening of country strong, it was pretty good and Paltrow really pulls it off.

bhcompy		2011-01-08 02:08:06 AM

DjangoStonereaver: Some of the best salsa I ever had was in an NYC Mexican joint,
so shut your narrow minded pie hole redneckmitter.

/Most gourmet food in NYC is made by Mexicans anyway, regardless of its ethnicity.

redneckmitter? I've had Mexican in New York. It's ass. You don't have real fresh veggies year 'round to make good salsa or other foods(being hours from the Imperial Valley means you do) and you don't have the most Mexicaniast Mexicans. If you're going to talk about Mexican food in the US, So Cal is the only place that even comes up on the list.

/not subby

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