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(Some Guy)   Hot pepper? In my vagina? It's more likely than you think   (jezebel.com ) divider line
    More: PSA, capsicum, rubber gloves, Audrey Hepburn, vaginas  
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10138 clicks; posted to Geek » on 06 Jan 2011 at 10:39 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



107 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2011-01-06 06:12:05 PM  
FTMFA:

My boyfriend found me writhing in pain on the bed.
"Jalapeno...in...vagina" I managed to gasp


At least it wasn't a Habanero.
 
2011-01-06 06:14:06 PM  
OH GOD PAIN
 
2011-01-06 06:25:03 PM  
It's not that type of taco!
 
2011-01-06 06:26:31 PM  
I am talking about how, sometimes, from cooking, you or a partner gets hot pepper on her hand, and somehow it ends up in your vagina

Uh-huh. Maybe you should peel the cucumbers BEFORE cutting up the hot peppers?
 
2011-01-06 06:41:16 PM  
I concur senorita.

cfae.org
 
2011-01-06 06:53:08 PM  
I am so confused. I cook spicy food all the time, which includes cutting up lots of peppers. Not once have I injured my ladybits with spicy badness. How the hell do you do that?
 
2011-01-06 06:55:43 PM  

Kasira: I am so confused. I cook spicy food all the time, which includes cutting up lots of peppers. Not once have I injured my ladybits with spicy badness. How the hell do you do that?


Not so much injure, as touch your ladybits while capsaicin from the peppers is still on your hands.

And do you really expect us all to believe that you have never prepared a very spicy meal and then furiously masturbated directly after, without washing your hands?
 
2011-01-06 06:57:02 PM  
That's hot!
 
2011-01-06 07:04:27 PM  
FTFA: Because this has happened to almost everyone I know, and it's really, really painful.


Funny. I don't know even one person this happened to. I do know a woman whose husband reached for the Nair rather than the spermacide, but that's neither here nor there.
 
2011-01-06 07:09:29 PM  

FredaDeStilleto: Funny. I don't know even one person this happened to. I do know a woman whose husband reached for the Nair rather than the spermacide, but that's neither here hair nor there.


FTFY
 
2011-01-06 07:10:54 PM  
I have someone farkied as jalepoono for this very reason.
 
2011-01-06 07:13:40 PM  
I know a girl who got mace inside her vagina, she said she would rather have a porn stud plow her in the ass with no lube, than go through that again.
 
2011-01-06 07:18:59 PM  

FredaDeStilleto: FTFA: Because this has happened to almost everyone I know, and it's really, really painful.


Funny. I don't know even one person this happened to. I do know a woman whose husband reached for the Nair rather than the spermacide, but that's neither here nor there.


You don't eat burritos in the nude? What the hell is wrong with you?
 
2011-01-06 07:30:14 PM  
One of my many bizarre sexual kinks is figging.

Look it up, and if you are brave, try it with your partner.
 
2011-01-06 07:32:08 PM  
A little jalapeno in your hoo-ha? Pfft, talk to me when you've had a whole bottle of Tabasco poured into your anus.

Wasn't there something a couple years ago about some guy finding his roommate passed out in the shower with a bottle of hot sauce?
 
2011-01-06 07:48:05 PM  

fusillade762: A little jalapeno in your hoo-ha? Pfft, talk to me when you've had a whole bottle of Tabasco poured into your anus.

Wasn't there something a couple years ago about some guy finding his roommate passed out in the shower with a bottle of hot sauce?


Isn't there a Farker known for finding a bottle of taco sauce in his/her shower?
 
2011-01-06 07:48:30 PM  
Got milk?
 
2011-01-06 07:51:27 PM  
Gotta make that taco pop ... (new window)
 
2011-01-06 08:25:16 PM  
If the words "hot pepper" and "vagina" for some reason sound sexy in combination, l assure you: it ain't.

I don't care what you say, I still got turned on reading that.
 
2011-01-06 08:26:34 PM  
So this is the female equivalent of getting tiger balm on your sack?
 
2011-01-06 08:58:46 PM  

TheOmni: If the words "hot pepper" and "vagina" for some reason sound sexy in combination, l assure you: it ain't.

I don't care what you say, I still got turned on reading that.


I'm sure that somewhere, someone is into that.
 
2011-01-06 09:26:23 PM  
Protip: wash your hands before going to bed after eating hot wings


and this:

www.figure.fm

\\hot
 
2011-01-06 09:30:28 PM  
I eat and cook spicy food. Almost every day.

This has never happened to me, because I like to wash my hands after I cook things. And before I put them in anyone's vag.

It's common sense.
 
2011-01-06 09:58:12 PM  
Why the fark would you NOT wash your hands after cooking food before touching yourself? WTF?!?!?!?
 
2011-01-06 10:24:07 PM  
I dunno about the Mayan torture thing, but I have heard that in some cultures women will rub chiles on their nipples to help wean infants from breastfeeding. Though why you wouldn't just put on a shirt, I'm not sure.
 
2011-01-06 10:28:28 PM  
I don't know any dude that hasn't had this happen to him. I had the spicy tingle-junk once and shared it with my wife during sexytime, thinking it would be an interesting sensation. She wasn't impressed.

/TMI or CSB? You be the judge.
 
2011-01-06 10:40:59 PM  

Kasira: I am so confused. I cook spicy food all the time, which includes cutting up lots of peppers. Not once have I injured my ladybits with spicy badness. How the hell do you do that?


I have no idea, but I do know my husband did it to me after he made a meal with jalapenos. He washed his hands and all of that, but ... it was like internal fire. NOT GOOD. Worse than accidentally hitting your nose after chopping them. It's AWFUL.
 
2011-01-06 10:45:41 PM  
I ate hot wings and fingered a girls once.
Never seen her again
 
2011-01-06 10:47:19 PM  
mitchcumstein1: she said she would rather have a porn stud plow her in the ass with no lube

Yeah, but she says that anyway, all the time. And I keep telling her no.


Dairy in the hoo-ha can be a very bad idea. I honestly don't know about yogurt, but if you think you might have cause to do this, I'd get a medical opinion first. A raging infection that requires serious medical attention is no treat, either.

They make lotions and rinses specifically meant to remove mace and caustic chemicals and the like, but I can't remember if they're rated for delicate bits. They're intended for use in the eyes, though.
 
2011-01-06 10:48:09 PM  
I ate hot wings and fingered a girls once.

Wash your hands regularly, and you'll probably finger another girl someday.
 
2011-01-06 10:51:57 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: At least it wasn't a Habanero Naga Jolokia/Ghost Pepper.


Naga Jolokia have a Scoville rating of 855,000 SHU to over 1,000,000 SHU. To compare, a Jalapeno rates between 2500 and 8000 SHU, and a Habanero between 350,000 and 580,000 SHU.
teleburst.files.wordpress.com
 
2011-01-06 10:56:23 PM  

FredaDeStilleto: FTFA: Because this has happened to almost everyone I know, and it's really, really painful.


Funny. I don't know even one person this happened to. I do know a woman whose husband reached for the Nair rather than the spermacide, but that's neither here nor there.


I once peed after cutting up and cooking up some very hot peppers.

I thought I had washed my hands sufficiently before. I had not.

In my resulting pain, my eyes watered (ok, I cried). Which led to me wiping/rubbing my eyes.

Which resulted in significantly more agony.

I tell you, it was like arguing with the other side of the aisle on a Fark Politics thread for hours.
 
2011-01-06 10:56:28 PM  

RandomAxe: I ate hot wings and fingered a girls once.

Wash your hands regularly, and you'll probably finger another girl someday.


See this why I come to Fark to learn new shiat everyday
 
2011-01-06 11:00:32 PM  
Didn't we have a quite humorous thread a few years back where some farker handled his junk after chopping peppers & was soaking them in milk?
 
2011-01-06 11:08:58 PM  

vernonFL: figging


From wiki:

For this reason it is rumored to have been done to recalcitrant wives in the Victorian age to prevent them from clenching during a spanking.[3]

[3] ^ a b Taormino, Tristan. "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women", 2006. p. 131


Sounds like a real page turner
 
2011-01-06 11:11:02 PM  
If simply washing your hands is enough to remove the capsaicin, the pepper you're dealing with probably isn't hot enough to worry about accidentally rubbing it onto an orifice.
 
2011-01-06 11:16:51 PM  

SpaceyCat: Why the fark would you NOT wash your hands after cooking food before touching yourself? WTF?!?!?!?


I was cutting habeneros up to make salsa once while drinking lots of beer. I had to piss. The following two days were just awful...
 
2011-01-06 11:17:01 PM  
"Ghost Chili Douche Fluid" is the name of my band.
 
2011-01-06 11:17:43 PM  

The Angry Hand of God: SpaceyCat: Why the fark would you NOT wash your hands after cooking food before touching yourself? WTF?!?!?!?

I was cutting habeneros up to make salsa once while drinking lots of beer. I had to piss. The following two days were just awful...


Also, dipping your penis in milk DOES NOT HELP AT ALL.
 
2011-01-06 11:18:51 PM  
I chopped up about a dozen peppers then dehydrated them back in the fall. I washed my hands for about a minute with hot soapy water and lots of scrubbing TWICE afterwards. Turns out the stuff stays on there pretty good.

I took a leak about an hour later and within 5 or 10 minutes later during dinner I had a very uncomfortable sensation similar to getting menthol rub on your junk but more intense. Was almost unbearable.
 
2011-01-06 11:29:35 PM  
Cockroach in the pooper, hot pepper in the vag...just another day on Fark...
 
2011-01-06 11:33:02 PM  

cretinbob: and this:


WHY DOES THAT EXIST?

/*sigh* I know, because it's the internet.
//Also, Japan.
 
2011-01-06 11:35:07 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: RandomAxe: I ate hot wings and fingered a girls once.

Wash your hands regularly, and you'll probably finger another girl someday.

See this why I come to Fark to learn new shiat everyday


I wonder if this will lead back to the "do you wipe your ass standing or sitting
' question.
 
2011-01-06 11:36:00 PM  
I once after, adjusting my junk, realized I hadn't washed the Icy-Hot off my hand very well, not a very pleasant experience.
 
2011-01-06 11:36:02 PM  

The Angry Hand of God: The Angry Hand of God: SpaceyCat: Why the fark would you NOT wash your hands after cooking food before touching yourself? WTF?!?!?!?

I was cutting habeneros up to make salsa once while drinking lots of beer. I had to piss. The following two days were just awful...

Also, dipping your penis in milk DOES NOT HELP AT ALL.


I suggest pudding.
 
2011-01-06 11:40:46 PM  
When the oil hits the vagina.
 
2011-01-06 11:43:48 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: I ate hot wings and fingered a girls once.
Never seen her again


Her what?

Never heard it called that before.

/in a corridor
 
2011-01-06 11:59:47 PM  

Nuclear Monk: The Angry Hand of God: The Angry Hand of God: SpaceyCat: Why the fark would you NOT wash your hands after cooking food before touching yourself? WTF?!?!?!?

I was cutting habeneros up to make salsa once while drinking lots of beer. I had to piss. The following two days were just awful...

Also, dipping your penis in milk DOES NOT HELP AT ALL.

I suggest pudding.


i recommend the mashed potatoes.
 
2011-01-07 12:08:11 AM  

The Angry Hand of God: SpaceyCat: Why the fark would you NOT wash your hands after cooking food before touching yourself? WTF?!?!?!?

I was cutting habeneros up to make salsa once while drinking lots of beer. I had to piss. The following two days were just awful...


Wouldn't it have to get in your urethra for it to hurt? Who touches their dick hole while taking a piss?
 
2011-01-07 12:08:42 AM  
/quote
you or a partner gets hot pepper on her hand, and somehow it ends up in your vagina.
/quote

Must be a lesbo thing. eerrr, sorry. The Penis Loving Challenged.
 
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