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(Deadline)   United Talent Agency signs Dane Cook, presumably to clean their floors, empty the trash cans, and scrub out the toilets   (deadline.com) divider line 30
    More: Stupid, Dane Cook, United Talent Agency, Neil Labute, Julia Stiles, talent agency, Mr. Brooks, Caa, new wave music  
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733 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 Jan 2011 at 7:54 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



30 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2011-01-05 05:41:22 PM  
www.titian-haired.org
 
2011-01-05 06:33:39 PM  
"HERE'S WHAT NOT TO DO"
 
2011-01-05 08:09:57 PM  
Dane Cook got a lot of people in to comedy, where hopefully they discovered far more brilliant standups like louis CK and the like. For that i thank him.
 
2011-01-05 08:14:14 PM  
Dane Cook's going to watch someone else clean the floors during graveyard shift and then move a mop around the same way during day shift.
 
2011-01-05 08:33:10 PM  
I read that as "Untalented Agency". Makes more sense that way.
 
2011-01-05 08:37:49 PM  
he was on some talk show a month or so ago, (i think Conan) I didn't even crack a smile. Nothing he said was remotely funny. And he talked a lot about anal sex. He's honestly a giant turd on our species.
 
2011-01-05 09:00:02 PM  
3825968: Dane Cook's going to watch someone else clean the floors during graveyard shift and then move a mop around the same way during day shift.

img22.imageshack.us

Absolute gold.
 
2011-01-05 09:27:37 PM  
For years I was saying that Dane Cook wasn't funny and I was pilloried for it. I feel vindicated now that everyone realizes he just isn't funny.
 
2011-01-05 09:37:54 PM  
POW! I AM DANE COOK AND SHE WAS LIKE WOW AND I WAS LIKE WHAT AND BAM!!

SHWING!

SU-FI!

I HOPE ATHEISTS DIE AND COME BACK AS BIBLES!

POW! MYSPACE!
 
2011-01-05 10:31:16 PM  
tankjr: For years I was saying that Dane Cook wasn't funny and I was pilloried for it. I feel vindicated now that everyone realizes he just isn't funny.


You weren't the only one, trust me.

/It's hard for me to hate on a fellow person from Boston.
//But that talent-less shiatbag makes it easy.
 
2011-01-05 10:38:08 PM  
You know, he's really an English man who...oh shiat, I was thinking of Dame Edna. WTF is Dane Cook? Oh, the guy who spins around and steals jokes from comedians.
 
2011-01-05 11:51:08 PM  
Dane Cook is actually really funny, but I guess it is his bad luck that it is cool to hate successful people.
 
2011-01-06 12:05:12 AM  
Pontius Pilates Class: Dane Cook is actually really funny, but I guess it is his bad luck that it is cool to hate successful people.

4/10.

Only because some people hate successful people. But in his case, it's warranted.

You should expand your horizons to some actual funny comedians.

www.rapidsharecollection.com
ecx.images-amazon.com
www.bittenandbound.com
3.bp.blogspot.com
www.comedynightlife.com
 
2011-01-06 12:14:55 AM  
Pontius Pilates Class: Dane Cook is actually really funny, but I guess it is his bad luck that it is cool to hate successful people.

It's cool to hate guys who have lost more due to embezzlement than subby could ever dream of making.

/Fark the haters, their favorite comedian sucks
 
2011-01-06 01:17:15 AM  
Leslie Nielsen is dead, yet Dane Cook still draws breath.

Let that one soak in.
 
2011-01-06 01:33:11 AM  
@fatalvenom

Dane Cook's delivery outmatches all of those people, and though I have not heard of all of them, there is probably a reason I haven't.
 
2011-01-06 01:33:53 AM  
@The Fool

Leslie Nielsen was eighty some years old, slick. Let that one sink in.
 
2011-01-06 01:52:50 AM  
Pontius Pilates Class: @fatalvenom

Dane Cook's delivery


If there's anything America appreciates, it's slick packaging of cheap unoriginal homogenized cheez food product.
 
2011-01-06 06:01:03 AM  
Dane Cook is actually Andy Kaufman in disguise; he's just playing the role of a bad comedian. Mark my words; some day, he's gonna slip up and say 'Tenk you veddy much'.
 
2011-01-06 08:11:56 AM  
Dane Cook is *WAY* more funny than asshats like Jack Black or Ben Stiller. People's sense of "funny" lately has really gone down the toliet when I see a movie like "Little Fockers" take the top spot at the box office (The original Fockers was the most non-funny movie I've ever seen).
 
2011-01-06 09:12:27 AM  
The Fool: Leslie Nielsen is dead, yet Dane Cook still draws breath.

Let that one soak in.


Mitch Hedberg and Bill Hicks are also dead while Dennis Miller probably will live to be 120. Go figure.
 
2011-01-06 10:26:31 AM  
I'm not a fan, but he sells tickets. I'd sign him too.
 
2011-01-06 10:37:09 AM  
Pontius Pilates Class: @fatalvenom

Dane Cook's delivery outmatches all of those people, and though I have not heard of all of them, there is probably a reason I haven't.


www.hollow-hill.com
 
2011-01-06 10:47:29 AM  
I can only assume that the Dane Cook defenders here are bored trolls. There is no other reasonable explanation.
 
2011-01-06 11:16:57 AM  
fatalvenom: tankjr: For years I was saying that Dane Cook wasn't funny and I was pilloried for it. I feel vindicated now that everyone realizes he just isn't funny.


You weren't the only one, trust me.

/It's hard for me to hate on a fellow person from Boston.
//But that talent-less shiatbag makes it easy.


(I think) The problem with Dane cook is his ability to deliver the punchline. He takes way to long to get there, and by the time he does arrive at it, the audience has already figured out the punchline....but then, he repeats the punchline 6 more times louder and louder each time.

/two cents
 
2011-01-06 11:27:13 AM  
Pontius Pilates Class: Dane Cook is actually really funny, but I guess it is his bad luck that it is cool to hate successful people.

Now that's funny. Bravo.
 
2011-01-06 11:35:19 AM  
I recently watched Vicious Circle again. I still think he was hilarious in it.

/haters gonna hate
 
2011-01-06 11:39:12 AM  
Patton Oswalt ripping on Christmas Shoes. Link (new window)
 
2011-01-06 12:10:11 PM  
tankjr: I feel vindicated now that everyone realizes he just isn't funny.

Disagree.. I still find him damn funny.. as do millions of other people.. as well as respected comics.
-----------------------
Some dummy with not one shred of comedy knowledge will come into Cook threads and mention Bill Hicks though.. however this same person knows nothing of comedy.. just throws out that name. So phony.
 
2011-01-06 12:45:16 PM  
I used to think he was great. Then I sobered (really) up and sold all of my DVD's and CD's back. They actually were paying me quite a bit back for a couple of them and I asked WHY? She said "he's very popular with the 20 somethings... and retarded midgets in wheelchairs with anxiety disorders".
 
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