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(Miami Herald)   And now we go to Dave Barry with the only year in review worth reading   ( miamiherald.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, postgraduate degrees, Closer to Home, UPS  
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23300 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2011 at 3:45 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



84 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2011-01-02 11:37:56 AM  
Yup, not going to fine one that's any better than this one.

Congress tried every remedy it knows, ranging all the way from borrowing money from China and spending it on government programs, to borrowing MORE money from China and spending it on government programs.

Guess what strategy they are going to peruse in 2011?

Things were even worse abroad. North Korea continued to show why it is known as "the international equivalent of Charlie Sheen."

Kim Jong-il is much better looking though.

The entire nation of Greece went into foreclosure and had to move out; it is now living with relatives in Bulgaria.

and those greasy bastards left the place a mess. Gonna have to get the drains professionally cleaned, re-paint the walls, and throw out the mattresses and bedsheets.

Iran continued to develop nuclear weapons, all the while insisting that they would be used only for peaceful scientific research, such as - to quote President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - "seeing what happens when you drop one on Israel."

Well, for one thing, we'll find out if Israels Dolphin Class submarines really are armed with nuclear tipped cruise missiles or a really good version of photoshop.

Closer to home, the already strained relationship between the United States and Mexico reached a new low following the theft, by a Juarez-based drug cartel, of the Grand Canyon.

Who managed to fit it into a Toyota Corolla.

OK, I have other stuff to get done. I'll let someone else finish up the rest of TFA.
 
2011-01-02 12:07:57 PM  
I made it up to June. Not that he isn't witty or whatever but I get the gist of it.

The judge from Night Court played a loose version of him in some sitcom in the early 90's. I thought his wife was hot in that show. This was when I was a kid, before goth girls got my attention.

I disagree that 2010 was the worst year though. I think 2001 was a bit worse. You know, that thing in September. The Fast and the Furious franchise started.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-01-02 12:25:20 PM  
I liked Dave's World but it had only the slightest relation to Dave Barry. Dave himself appeared in one of the early episodes and later wrote that his only other involvement with the show was cashing the checks.

DeLane Matthews was one of the great hot sitcom wives.
 
2011-01-02 03:51:22 PM  
Dave Barry is still relevant?
 
2011-01-02 03:53:38 PM  

bhcompy: Dave Barry is still relevant?


If you like him he is, if you need the masses to tell you, then you're a tool.
 
2011-01-02 03:55:17 PM  
Here let me sum it up for you: 2010 sucked.
 
2011-01-02 04:01:03 PM  
Dave Barry? What was Rich Little unavailable?
 
2011-01-02 04:03:40 PM  
I used to love Dave Barry. I found him to be witty and funny, and oddly enough, one of the few things I've ever read that caused me to choke up was a short essay on his father's death.

I've gotten older, and Dave has too. The problem is, his writing has become too predictable, like an English Major™ brand headline. His stuff is now the rough equivalent of the mods greenlighting the same stories every four weeks.
 
2011-01-02 04:09:42 PM  

bhcompy: Dave Barry is still relevant?


Which, and I mean no exaggeration, is a great name for a band.
 
2011-01-02 04:12:49 PM  
I confused Todd Berry with Dave Barry. So I read it in a dry monotone voice.
 
2011-01-02 04:13:01 PM  
You go Dave!
/haters going to hate
 
2011-01-02 04:21:08 PM  

bhcompy: Dave Barry is still relevant?


Is worrying about the relevance of a newspaper humorist still relevant?
 
2011-01-02 04:23:35 PM  
People who laugh at Dave Berry also think Seinfeld is funny.

It's proof that Idiocracy was a documentary.
 
2011-01-02 04:27:48 PM  
Hell, I enjoyed it.

I make no apologies for Dave Barry. None are needed.
 
2011-01-02 04:28:32 PM  

petcat2469: People who laugh at Dave Berry also think Seinfeld is funny.

It's proof that Idiocracy was a documentary.


I don't think Seinfeld is very funny but I do usually enjoy Dave Barry. I guess that puts me somewhere in the middle of the "idiot" continuum.

/his book on having babies is hee-larious
//Barry, not Seinfeld
 
2011-01-02 04:29:38 PM  
Can we honestly say that we had a worse year than those species did? Yes we can, because they were not exposed to Jersey Shore.

Pretty much sums up 2010 ...
 
2011-01-02 04:32:27 PM  

petcat2469: People who laugh at Dave Berry also think Seinfeld is funny.

It's proof that Idiocracy was a documentary.


5/10. Only because I started to respond. But then I looked at your misspelling of Barry's name, then the Idiocracy reference. Back at the misspelling, then the Idiocracy reference. The misspelling. Idiocracy.

You are now a troll.
 
2011-01-02 04:32:39 PM  
sounds like typical libertarian talking point tripe and garbage. Is there anything these people say that isn't mindnumbingly farking stupid?

Love how he expounds on the BP oil spill and politicians trying to deal with it. Hey Dave, politicians don't drill or cap oil wells. But politicians, like the libertarian Bush/Cheney regime did loosen up regs with a special exemption for BP so it saved $500k by not having to install an acoustic shutoff valve which would have prevented the spill.

what a douchebag
 
2011-01-02 04:34:16 PM  

petcat2469: People who laugh at Dave Berry also think Seinfeld is funny.

It's proof that Idiocracy was a documentary.


People who point to Idiocracy as some sort of dystopian masterpiece are the ones who don't find Seinfeld funny.
 
2011-01-02 04:34:32 PM  

hammettman: ...like the libertarian Bush/Cheney regime


wat
 
2011-01-02 04:36:53 PM  
That article was longer than 2010.

/and it sucked to boot.
 
2011-01-02 04:38:19 PM  
Barry dissed on Jersey Shore. TOO FAR.

>:(

/stopped reading after the first page.
 
2011-01-02 04:46:48 PM  
good but way too verbose
 
2011-01-02 04:47:55 PM  
who puts a comma right after a verb :|
 
2011-01-02 04:52:56 PM  
Sgt. Pepper: hammettman: ...like the libertarian Bush/Cheney regime

wat


Hint: their desire to have zero regulations on big business.
 
2011-01-02 04:53:03 PM  
I chuckled a bit, but he frequently went for the low-hanging fruit. And really Dave, you don't see why health care reform would be important when unemployment is high? In a country where health insurance is bizarrely married to employment?
 
2011-01-02 04:57:12 PM  

casual disregard: who puts a comma right after a verb :|


I do,
 
2011-01-02 05:05:31 PM  
The average poster on Fark is often funnier than that tired routine Barry has been trotting out since many of us were kids.
 
2011-01-02 05:05:37 PM  
When I was teaching English in Taiwan in the 90s, my best lessons were when I clipped Dave Barry's weekly story from the newspaper. It was great because besides teaching the usual vocabulary and expressions, I could also teach American humor, issues, and outlooks. Explaining exaggeration, and how if he says "I'm not making this up", he isn't, but otherwise he might be.
 
2011-01-02 05:12:40 PM  

bhcompy: Dave Barry is still relevant?


Why wouldn't he be?
 
2011-01-02 05:14:15 PM  
I liked the part where he said people who make over $250,000 are billionares. I get the joke and all but c'mon thoose people are RICH. Break it down, that's over $20,000 a month (pre tax).

Most of the population in this country is lucky to see that per year. I seriously don't even know what I would do with that kind of cheddar. Perhaps buy a new car/boat every month just for the fark of it. I hate taxes too but damn. I mean even one check for $20,000 hitting the bank would be life changing for most. Not sure what the point I'm trying to make is but I guess two chicks at the same time would be awesome.
 
2011-01-02 05:18:23 PM  
My favorite Dave's World bit wasn't even part of the story. After the show was over, it showed Dave Barry and Harry Anderson playing guitar. They were jamming on something and Dave Barry says to Harry, "Take it away!". After a few seconds Dave said, "Stop. Give it back"
 
2011-01-02 05:19:16 PM  

petcat2469: People who laugh at Dave Berry also think Seinfeld is funny.

It's proof that Idiocracy was a documentary.


Who do you think is funny?
 
2011-01-02 05:20:08 PM  
You never go full gerbil.
 
2011-01-02 05:20:40 PM  

MaddyUnderstood: Barry dissed on Jersey Shore. TOO FAR.

>:(

/stopped reading after the first page.


Well, I guess someone must be watching that gawd-awful show, they renewed it.

/Seen one episode; really enjoyed "Snooki" being punched in the face. Wish they had more episodes like that, then I might have watched it.
 
2011-01-02 05:21:40 PM  
That was great,...

/still miss Lewis Grizzard
 
2011-01-02 05:29:48 PM  
I liked the continued revisiting of the Toyota Camry sub story and the oil from the BP spill spreading to out of this world distances.

A fairly good column overall typical of Dave's style of humor.
I thought it was good.
 
2011-01-02 05:38:23 PM  

hammettman: sounds like typical libertarian talking point tripe and garbage. Is there anything these people say that isn't mindnumbingly farking stupid?


Yes... you're mother's a whore.

There. That wasn't mind-numbingly farking stupid. It was a trolling insult. That it may or may not be true is entirely dependent on your response.

BTW - He didn't seem overly Libertarian. He took appropriate swipes at the assholes in charge. He wasn't exactly easy on the Tea Party, but neither did he disparage them in the vitriolic manner you would have appreciated. When the other side was in charge, he bashed on them, too. Or maybe all those drugs your mother did when she was pregnant with you (due to her being a whore) affected your memory.
 
2011-01-02 05:41:33 PM  
 
2011-01-02 05:55:31 PM  
Apple released the hugely anticipated iPad, giving iPhone people, at long last, something to fondle with their other hand.

I can think of a few things.
 
2011-01-02 05:55:57 PM  

whammer: How about the Top 10 Best Adult Movies Of 2010? (NSFW) (new window)

Sorry, Dave.


Thanks Whammer!


Also...

I have never read anything from Mr. Barry. So, as a first time reader, my question for longtime readers is; does everything he writes seem like it came from 'mad libs' or was it just this particular article?
 
2011-01-02 06:05:44 PM  

Kevin72: Hint: their desire to have zero regulations on big business.


...is pretty well canceled out by expanding state power, Medicare part D, bank bailouts, subsidies for agrobusiness, defense, etc.

Not everyone who fellates the corporate world is a libertarian.
 
2011-01-02 06:08:36 PM  

MaddyUnderstood: Jersey


That's because that show is only watched my fa**ots and retards. Guess which category you're in?
 
2011-01-02 06:18:35 PM  
Dave Barry wishes he was Bob Newhart.
 
2011-01-02 06:36:18 PM  

Kevin72: When I was teaching English in Taiwan in the 90s, my best lessons were when I clipped Dave Barry's weekly story from the newspaper. It was great because besides teaching the usual vocabulary and expressions, I could also teach American humor, issues, and outlooks. Explaining exaggeration, and how if he says "I'm not making this up", he isn't, but otherwise he might be.


I've been to Taipei twice. Nice country and great people. It seems every English student over there has a "English name". Did you get to pick your student's names and, if so, how did you pick them?
 
2011-01-02 06:42:11 PM  

kptchris: MaddyUnderstood: Jersey

That's because that show is only watched my by fa**ots and retards. Guess which category you're in?


c. other

/ :D
 
2011-01-02 06:50:44 PM  

1stgenwhtrash: Kevin72: When I was teaching English in Taiwan in the 90s, my best lessons were when I clipped Dave Barry's weekly story from the newspaper. It was great because besides teaching the usual vocabulary and expressions, I could also teach American humor, issues, and outlooks. Explaining exaggeration, and how if he says "I'm not making this up", he isn't, but otherwise he might be.

I've been to Taipei twice. Nice country and great people. It seems every English student over there has a "English name". Did you get to pick your student's names and, if so, how did you pick them?


I was teaching 20-somethings, who for the most part already had English names. I guess they do it at school. I had one student Dwight and his brother was Millard ... I have no idea if their elementary teacher arranged that, or if they had a parent keen on US president's names.

/Millard? Furreal. Good guy.
 
2011-01-02 06:51:32 PM  
He was joking about the asteroid thing, right? Because I have too many other things to panic about as it is.
 
2011-01-02 06:57:16 PM  
Dave's commentary was actually more funny and relevant to his topic than most of the comments here are to this topic.
 
2011-01-02 06:58:01 PM  

kptchris: MaddyUnderstood: Jersey

That's because that show is only watched my fa**ots and retards. Guess which category you're in?


Kpt, I checked your profile. If your only point is to start flamewars for your amusement, you're better off listed on ignore.
 
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