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(Chicago Breaking News)   The first Darwin Award of 2011 goes to *spins wheel* Chicago, Illinois and the genius who jumped into frozen Lake Michigan to save his girlfriend's water bottle   (chicagobreakingnews.com) divider line 201
    More: Dumbass, Darwin Awards, Lake Michigan, Northwestern Memorial Hospital, Chicago Fire Department, Cook County, Mich, Illinois, Chicago  
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21536 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jan 2011 at 1:06 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



201 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2011-01-02 01:08:24 AM  
Did he died?
 
2011-01-02 01:10:20 AM  
urban.derelict: Did he died?

Who cares? Did the woman get her bottle back?
 
2011-01-02 01:10:58 AM  
FTFA: A man from Michigan died this morning after he jumped into Lake Michgan to retrieve his girlfriend's water bottle, officials said.


So yes, he did died.
 
2011-01-02 01:12:00 AM  
Quantum Apostrophe: urban.derelict: Did he died?

Who cares? Did the woman get her bottle back?


I didn't see it in the article but judging by his mom stating that he couldn't swim...I think the title is deserving.
 
2011-01-02 01:15:09 AM  
Somebody died on New Years Eve Night, jumping in a lake, trying to save a water bottle. Alcohol may have been a factor.
 
2011-01-02 01:15:21 AM  
Debra Hilling, his mother, said Saturday she could not understand what had happened because she and most people close to her son knew that he couldn't swim.

Booze & booty: when mixed together, it makes people do stupid things they wouldn't normally do.

If this guy wasn't three sheets to the wind or under some sort of narcotic, I'll be incredibly surprised.
 
2011-01-02 01:15:27 AM  
If you ever drop your keys water bottle into a river of molten lava lake, let 'em it go, because, man, they're it's gone.
 
2011-01-02 01:15:29 AM  
Let's not pin this on Chicagoans, this guy was from Michigan.
 
2011-01-02 01:15:54 AM  
stories like this always make me try to imagine the exact moment where his mind goes from "oooops!" to "Oh shiat..." to "I'm going to DIE!". I guess I'm just weird like that.
 
2011-01-02 01:16:16 AM  
VvonderJesus: Somebody died on New Years Eve Night, jumping in a lake, trying to save a water bottle. Alcohol may have been a factor.

She was a Columbia College student, so being dumb was likely a factor too. All you need to get in there is a #2 pencil and a pulse.
 
2011-01-02 01:16:19 AM  
Wow. I bet she won't look at water the same again.
 
2011-01-02 01:16:47 AM  
Somewhere Courtney Love is nodding approvingly.
 
2011-01-02 01:17:49 AM  
If one of my kids was having trouble in the water.. then I'd dump my non-swimming ass in to try to help. But a water bottle? WTF was he thinking?
 
2011-01-02 01:20:21 AM  
Looks like Goofus/Gallant ratio at unity here.
 
2011-01-02 01:21:17 AM  
How can one not know how to swim?
 
2011-01-02 01:22:42 AM  
log_jammin: stories like this always make me try to imagine the exact moment where his mind goes from "oooops!" to "Oh shiat..." to "I'm going to DIE!". I guess I'm just weird like that.

No, I imagine that as well.
 
2011-01-02 01:23:09 AM  
damn...the things kids will do to get laid now-a-days...
 
2011-01-02 01:23:19 AM  
SuperCatBarf: How can one not know how to swim?

You could be born black, apparently.
 
2011-01-02 01:23:21 AM  
VvonderJesus: Somebody died on New Years Eve Night, jumping in a lake, trying to save a water bottle. Alcohol may have been a factor.


Well does he seem like a drinker, judging by his facebook page? (new window)
 
2011-01-02 01:25:15 AM  
I can't fly. So I know that one of the things I'm not going to do at the end of my New Years Eve celebrating, is sit on the edge of a building with my wife just to enjoy the view. And if wifey drops her bottle, I tell her to fly out and grab it herself.

\how does one grow up and not learn to swim?
 
2011-01-02 01:25:36 AM  
Are we that upset that this person had no offspring?!

The gene pool sometimes successfully weeds some people out.

Although if you've ever looked around it's obvious the gene pool needs a lot of artificial help!
 
2011-01-02 01:26:59 AM  
Fano: log_jammin: stories like this always make me try to imagine the exact moment where his mind goes from "oooops!" to "Oh shiat..." to "I'm going to DIE!". I guess I'm just weird like that.

No, I imagine that as well.


I've always wondered if the people doing a swan dive off the Aurora (suicide) Bridge attempted a Wiley Coyote before hitting the water.
 
jvl
2011-01-02 01:27:24 AM  
JacksonBryan: Quantum Apostrophe: urban.derelict: Did he died?

Who cares? Did the woman get her bottle back?

I didn't see it in the article but judging by his mom stating that he couldn't swim...I think the title is deserving.


Okay fine. So the boyfriend didn't get the bottle back. Did anybody else? Is the bottle going to be okay?
 
2011-01-02 01:27:57 AM  
3steps: If one of my kids was having trouble in the water.. then I'd dump my non-swimming ass in to try to help. But a water bottle? WTF was he thinking?

And if you did that, all of you would drown. You have to be a very strong swimmer and have a touch of training to successfully rescue someone from the water. Otherwise you are better off trying to throw something that floats to the person, Grabbing a long stick, rope, or pole and extending it to them, or trying to find a boat to rescue them in.

The Rhyme is "Reach, Throw, Row, Go" for a reason

/and do yourself and your kids a favor and learn to swim
 
2011-01-02 01:28:45 AM  
Fano: log_jammin: stories like this always make me try to imagine the exact moment where his mind goes from "oooops!" to "Oh shiat..." to "I'm going to DIE!". I guess I'm just weird like that.

No, I imagine that as well.


good. now I feel slightly less creepy.
 
2011-01-02 01:31:19 AM  
id be willing to bet that was vodka not water...
 
2011-01-02 01:31:33 AM  
So, I guess this means she's available now.

Is she hot?

Also...

FTA- "I was kind of thinking, I suppose there'll be grandkids here pretty quick," (the guy's mom)

This explains the bizarre circumstances. Darwin had to act quickly. They were about to go back to her place and produce another generation of stupid.
 
2011-01-02 01:32:19 AM  
Am I the only one thinking he had a little help "jumping" in after the "water bottle"

/if you saw this story on an episode of csi you would all be yelling at the screen that the girlfriend did it.
 
2011-01-02 01:32:33 AM  
Ah Michiganders.

I actually worked with a 23 year old woman who didn't know how to swim. Or drive. And for our job, we had to be lifeguard certified. And be able to drive a 15 passenger van.

Still not sure how she got the job. But I'm glad she did, since we're friends now.
 
2011-01-02 01:32:36 AM  
Fano: SuperCatBarf: How can one not know how to swim?

You could be born black, apparently.


Holy crap. That pale, red-headed dude in the article is black?
 
2011-01-02 01:32:43 AM  
illannoyin: So, I guess this means she's available now.

Is she hot?

Also...

FTA- "I was kind of thinking, I suppose there'll be grandkids here pretty quick," (the guy's mom)

This explains the bizarre circumstances. Darwin had to act quickly. They were about to go back to her place and produce another generation of stupid.


So you're saying it was divine intervention?
 
2011-01-02 01:33:18 AM  
How can anyone not know how to swim or at least survive/float/stay at the surface in water???
She must be really hot for him to jump into water when he knew he "didn't know how to swim".
Sad . . . .
 
2011-01-02 01:34:22 AM  
For all the laws they make "for the sake of the children," I really can't believe there hasn't been a move to make swimming lessons a mandatory part of school curricula.

There's absolutely no excuse for an able-bodied American to not know how to swim; at the very least, how to tread water. If I were proposing a change, I'd make it a requirement to graduate high school.
 
2011-01-02 01:34:27 AM  
wtf?


Woman claims boyfriend, who couldn't swim, jumped into a lake, in michigan, in january, to retrieve her dropped water bottle and no-one even *considers* she may not be entirely honest in her account of events??

This aint a Darwin contender...

"The Perfect Murder" award on the other hand...

/Congrats unnamed girlfriend!!
 
2011-01-02 01:35:25 AM  
Hey, maybe the kid was proposing and the ring was in the bottle. That might be a valid reason for him to jump in a freezing arse lake.



//or maybe all hope is lost on this generation....
 
2011-01-02 01:36:05 AM  
maybe it was one of those terrorist water bottles the TSA was talking about a few weeks ago?
 
2011-01-02 01:37:06 AM  
sonarbison: VvonderJesus: Somebody died on New Years Eve Night, jumping in a lake, trying to save a water bottle. Alcohol may have been a factor.


Well does he seem like a drinker, judging by his facebook page? (new window)


Aw, now I feel kinda bad for the guy. Seems like a nice kid, read books.... Obviously I have no idea WTF he was thinking, if he did jump....

/sorry
//carry on
 
2011-01-02 01:37:45 AM  
zarnik: wtf?


Woman claims boyfriend, who couldn't swim, jumped into a lake, in michigan, in january, to retrieve her dropped water bottle and no-one even *considers* she may not be entirely honest in her account of events??

This aint a Darwin contender...

"The Perfect Murder" award on the other hand...

/Congrats unnamed girlfriend!!


Only she didn't think her plan through - she didn't KNOW he couldn't swim, so her 'jumped in the water' lie doesn't work.
yeah..
 
2011-01-02 01:38:15 AM  
SuperCatBarf: How can one not know how to swim?

http://www.hark.com/clips/hggrmrpbjm-i-only-dog-paddle
 
2011-01-02 01:38:39 AM  
I'm glad the discussion turned to the temperature of the water. I can swim, but how long would I last in water that cold, diving for a bottle?
 
2011-01-02 01:38:41 AM  
She pushed him in. There solved the crime. Thank you.
 
2011-01-02 01:40:30 AM  
Sounds like my kind of man.

/no, not dead
//listens to his woman when she tells him what's up.
 
2011-01-02 01:41:05 AM  
jvl: Okay fine. So the boyfriend didn't get the bottle back. Did anybody else? Is the bottle going to be okay?

On a corresponding page I found this about the bottle;

Sunburst Bottle Company is mourning the loss of one it's own after an owner of one of their bottles accidentally dropped him in to Lake Michigan. The bottle, 24FLOZ, leaves behind several siblings and a mother is knew that the owner would never treat him the way he deserved to be treated.

I think it's safe to say the bottle is gone.
 
2011-01-02 01:42:55 AM  
Pinksprite: zarnik: wtf?


Woman claims boyfriend, who couldn't swim, jumped into a lake, in michigan, in january, to retrieve her dropped water bottle and no-one even *considers* she may not be entirely honest in her account of events??

This aint a Darwin contender...

"The Perfect Murder" award on the other hand...

/Congrats unnamed girlfriend!!

Only she didn't think her plan through - she didn't KNOW he couldn't swim, so her 'jumped in the water' lie doesn't work.
yeah..


FTFA: Debra Hilling, his mother, said Saturday she could not understand what had happened because she and most people close to her son knew that he couldn't swim.

Is the mother claiming that the girlfriend knew?
 
2011-01-02 01:44:38 AM  
Magorn: 3steps: If one of my kids was having trouble in the water.. then I'd dump my non-swimming ass in to try to help. But a water bottle? WTF was he thinking?

And if you did that, all of you would drown. You have to be a very strong swimmer and have a touch of training to successfully rescue someone from the water. Otherwise you are better off trying to throw something that floats to the person, Grabbing a long stick, rope, or pole and extending it to them, or trying to find a boat to rescue them in.

The Rhyme is "Reach, Throw, Row, Go" for a reason

/and do yourself and your kids a favor and learn to swim


Throw something that floats? Like, a WATER BOTTLE maybe??
 
2011-01-02 01:45:44 AM  
i think redruM was involved.
 
2011-01-02 01:46:12 AM  
Magorn: 3steps: If one of my kids was having trouble in the water.. then I'd dump my non-swimming ass in to try to help. But a water bottle? WTF was he thinking?

And if you did that, all of you would drown. You have to be a very strong swimmer and have a touch of training to successfully rescue someone from the water. Otherwise you are better off trying to throw something that floats to the person, Grabbing a long stick, rope, or pole and extending it to them, or trying to find a boat to rescue them in.

The Rhyme is "Reach, Throw, Row, Go" for a reason

/and do yourself and your kids a favor and learn to swim


"Reach, Throw, Row, Go".. never heard it before but it makes perfect sense really.

No way I'm going to learn to swim at this late date. I'm petrified of the water have been for the last errr.. wekk 40 years I know of.

I did however insist that all the kids learn to swim. They went to summer rec for years to make sure they learned. And hubby swims like a fish.

My point obviously being not that I was about to overcome my fear of water and jump in.. but that it would have to be something really important to get a non-swimmer to jump in. A water bottle wouldn't do it. A diamond and gold encrusted water bottle wouldn't do it. I have no idea wtf that boy was thinking..
 
2011-01-02 01:46:56 AM  
Article says girlfriend was found standing by area where boyfriend jumped in.


If she was bone dry, that would just about eliminate any foul play from her right there..
 
2011-01-02 01:49:42 AM  
SuperCatBarf: How can one not know how to swim?

hammettman: how does one grow up and not learn to swim?

worthlessjuan: How can anyone not know how to swim or at least survive/float/stay at the surface in water???

It seems pretty stupid to be surprised that person might not know how to swim. Some people never learn, I'm sure you'll get over your shock eventually. Between not having learned to swim, the icy cold water and being weighted down by shoes and clothing this seem entirely plausible. He probably jumped in thinking that the water wasn't that deep.
 
2011-01-02 01:49:45 AM  
an hero.

/amidoinitrite?
 
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