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(Telegraph)   Dyson uninvents the vacuum cleaner, and from the looks of it, it's going to suck. And by suck, I mean not suck   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 212
    More: Cool, vacuums, energy density, lightweight  
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39574 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2010 at 9:43 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-12-28 08:21:38 PM
Except that it does in fact, still suck air/matter in. Is it me or is this basically a dustbuster attached to a long pipe?
 
2010-12-28 08:27:50 PM
jimmyego:... a long pipe

Where do you really need a cordless vacuum? Inside a car. How are you going to maneuver that long pipe in a car?
 
2010-12-28 08:36:04 PM
Sgygus: jimmyego:... a long pipe

Where do you really need a cordless vacuum? Inside a car. How are you going to maneuver that long pipe in a car?


looks to me like you can de-enclickenify the long pipey thingy.

It's a good storable form factor, and if you don't have much vacuum-able area and 6-15 minutes covers you off, then it'd be a good fit. I would imagine that the secret is in the 100k+ rpm motor.

In other words, don't accidentally stick your weiner in it, or you'll be a Fark headline.
 
2010-12-28 08:47:46 PM
I love my dyson. I want a fan or two as well.
 
2010-12-28 08:57:25 PM
I think they should also get into the hearing aid market. It would complement their deafening 104,000rpm vacuum motors.
 
2010-12-28 08:57:39 PM
My dyson is a piece of crap that can't even pick up pet hair.
 
2010-12-28 08:58:30 PM
unyon: you can de-enclickenify the long pipey thingy

The long pipey thingy is not the bag?

/an assumptivish idea on my part
 
2010-12-28 09:18:00 PM
Got a hand held Dyson. Does a great job. Wish the battery lasted longer but it was only designed for 6? minutes of full power use before recharging is necessary.
 
2010-12-28 09:20:46 PM
Valentine Greatraks: My dyson is a piece of crap that can't even pick up pet hair.

it comes with a 5 year warranty.
 
2010-12-28 09:45:42 PM
15 minutes? Seriously? I'd rather plug the farking thing in.
 
2010-12-28 09:47:07 PM
I have the Dyson Animal and it is simply amazing... Love it. Perfect for two fat kitties.
 
2010-12-28 09:47:43 PM
Women should be issued one when they graduate high school.
 
2010-12-28 09:47:48 PM
www.untoldentertainment.com
Well it certainly does "suck."
 
2010-12-28 09:49:34 PM
i.ytimg.com
Approves

/hotlinked
 
2010-12-28 09:50:26 PM
violentsalvation: I think they should also get into the hearing aid market. It would complement their deafening 104,000rpm vacuum motors.

OMG THIS. I love the Dyson's cleaning ability, but wtf? with the decible situation?
 
2010-12-28 09:50:37 PM
FTA: The battery-powered Dyson Digital Slim will retail for £199 and last for 15 minutes on each charge. A high-power mode will also provide six minutes of increased suction".


Dammit, I feel like I'm being fleeced here. Why should that have to cost extra? You were paid to accomplish a specific task, now finish the job!
 
2010-12-28 09:51:21 PM
and some guy sticks his peener in it in 3... 2...
 
2010-12-28 09:51:26 PM
In other words, don't accidentally stick your weiner in it, or you'll be a Fark headline.

I LOL'd
 
2010-12-28 09:51:44 PM
violentsalvation: I think they should also get into the hearing aid market. It would complement their deafening 104,000rpm vacuum motors.

WHAT?
 
2010-12-28 09:52:39 PM
violentsalvation: I think they should also get into the hearing aid market. It would complement their deafening 104,000rpm vacuum motors.

The article says they are hiring acoustic engineers so, yes. That might be one of their new patents. Also, I assume that the sound is muffled buy the curvature in spacetime, since if it does not have a bag, it must fold all the debris is sucks up into a 5th dimensional hypercube,
 
2010-12-28 09:53:18 PM
hey hey hey! easy haters. 105,000 rpm? thats some serious farkin revolutions, even if it was just spinning a toy propeller, it should suck the chrome off a trailer ball.
 
2010-12-28 09:53:59 PM
FTA: inventor James Dyson said the device's motor "spins five times faster than a Formula 1 car engine".

I hate it when people tout products by saying things like that as it doesn't mean jack. How fast it spins isn't relevant, how well it works is what is relevant.
 
2010-12-28 09:54:32 PM
*facepalm*

No. And furthermore NO. I want something that will actually clean pet hair out of the carpet without being run by expensive proprietary rechargeable batteries! And you know what, my 20 year old Kirby Gen3, which has had a rebuilt axle, tranny, replaced fan (several times), replaced bag, and replaced cord does that just fine. And you know what? I'm perfectly happy to suck it up and pay a hundred and fifty bucks here and there for maintenance on a vacuum because it caught fire and still runs, and can peel rugs to pieces at will.

/fark you and your artsy ass vacuum, Dyson
//done maintenance on the Kirby maybe three times in its life
///once killed a bagless vacuum in under six months
 
2010-12-28 09:55:16 PM
chicagogasman: I have the Dyson Animal and it is simply amazing... Love it. Perfect for two fat kitties.

Same here... We had an Oreck for years, it works well (or so I thought) but then bought the Animal when Target had them on sale, vacuumed with it just after the last Oreck round, and the amount of filth that was in the canister was AMAZING...
 
2010-12-28 09:55:48 PM
Dyson is the Monster Cable of vacuums.
 
2010-12-28 09:56:45 PM
Almost as lame as their fans. You pay for 80% form, 20% function
 
2010-12-28 09:57:03 PM
DPSturm: hey hey hey! easy haters. 105,000 rpm? thats some serious farkin revolutions, even if it was just spinning a toy propeller, it should suck the chrome off a trailer ball.

maxcdn.fooyoh.com

/hotlinking again :P
 
2010-12-28 09:58:33 PM
jaytkay: Dyson is the Monster Cable of vacuums.

www.penny-arcade.com
 
2010-12-28 09:59:21 PM
Befuddled: FTA: inventor James Dyson said the device's motor "spins five times faster than a Formula 1 car engine".

I hate it when people tout products by saying things like that as it doesn't mean jack. How fast it spins isn't relevant, how well it works is what is relevant.



I take it you're not in marketing?
 
2010-12-28 09:59:33 PM
Dyson is about as creative as the Sham-Wow guy. They both sell to fools.
 
2010-12-28 10:03:16 PM
wademh: Dyson is about as creative as the Sham-Wow guy. They both sell to fools.


It's a vast market.
 
2010-12-28 10:05:51 PM
things that zing are cool
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_u4JstVdicLink (new window)
 
2010-12-28 10:06:28 PM
I would like to see Dyson license the technology to car manufacturers for use in electric cars and hybrids as well, I think adapting the technology for that may make long-range (300+ miles on one charge) cars possible with even the current battery technology which seems to limit it to 40-100 miles per charge
 
2010-12-28 10:06:33 PM
If his vacuums were competitively priced I might get one but I'm not going to pay an extra $150 just because it has his name on it.
 
2010-12-28 10:06:44 PM
Okay, so in terms of suckage, which vacuum sucks best?

We have an Oreck and I hate it. I don't know enough about the other ones to make a decision what else to buy, though. My mom has a Dyson (dunno what kind, it's purple?) and it sucks great, they seem to have had it for about 6 years without any issues.

/screw Oreck and their damn expensive bags, I could have bought a bagless with the $ bags cost.. sigh.
 
2010-12-28 10:07:11 PM
wtf? Link (new window)
 
2010-12-28 10:07:43 PM
Dyson sucks balls.

Dyson balls suck.

Suck Dyson balls.

Suck balls Dyson.

Etc.
 
2010-12-28 10:08:33 PM
www.craigfergusons.com

Does it have the proper amount of suction?
 
2010-12-28 10:08:47 PM
And some Chinese company will duplicate it in 3...2...1.... The commercial will be something like: "Many suckings will machine lift from your happy domicile".... And naturally the box will have some Anime girl pushing one in some weird setting with a cartoon panda bear winking.... just cuz.
 
2010-12-28 10:08:53 PM
My cordless suction devise of choice.

wizbangblog.com
 
2010-12-28 10:09:49 PM
graphjam.files.wordpress.com
 
2010-12-28 10:11:34 PM
melcarson.com

Dyson Airblade hand driers, look great and work awesome.
 
2010-12-28 10:12:54 PM
Dyson's don't suck; they blow!
 
2010-12-28 10:13:34 PM
Witness the invisible hand( A silken glove ,artfully filled by the denizens of Madison avenue)
I guess the unbelievers will never know the wonders....


Marketing has come to Ken - Tucky.
 
2010-12-28 10:14:00 PM
I have a Bissell bagless vacuum created for pets. I empty it 4 times when I vacuum my 25 foot living room it pulls pet hair up that well. Since I have two white German Shepards, and two cats...there is a lot of hair in the carpet.

Dyson can keep their vacuums....for the price of mine, I can afford to buy three of these to one of Dyson's. I have had this bissell for three years and it is still great.
 
2010-12-28 10:14:12 PM
ihatedumbpeople: Almost as lame as their fans. You pay for 80% form, 20% function

Yeah, but it's designed by 700 "engineers"! I mean, seriously, you'd think we were building a friggin' space shuttle or something.
 
2010-12-28 10:16:18 PM
After several years of trying to keep the house clean using a farking Dyson I left the piece of crap at the curb for anyone who wanted it. Total waste of money.
No, it did not lose suction as it filled up, it just never had much suction to begin with. A second hand Kirby or Rainbow is a much better machine. Hell, a 40 dollar Bissel is a better machine.
 
2010-12-28 10:17:19 PM
I like the cordless feature -- that and weight are the two biggest issues with most vacuum cleaners, and this one seems to address that.

However, my dad was in a vacuum repair shop recently and the guy who ran it said Dysons keep him in business -- something like 80% of his work are Dyson models. They're supposed to be great while they last, but require a lot of maintenance -- which is true of most high-performance machinery, I guess.
 
2010-12-28 10:19:18 PM
Two words, hardwood floors, then I can sweep. Plus my hardwoods are cheaper than the farking Dyson.

I will not buy a vacuum cleaner I have to make payments on
 
2010-12-28 10:19:23 PM
I'm holding out for the Dyson Sphere.
 
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