I completely understand. I would do the same thing. I am batshiat crazy for my dogs. All dogs, actually.

From TFA:
"Just imagine your child," Cooley said.

My child wouldn't be left alone in a truck.

TexasPeace: When you write a check, you're giving your banking information to the check recipient.

Thank you, Ric Romero.

Horseshat. I'd have a few more questions for this Ramos fellow that "found" my dag before I'd just hand over a 10k check.

hitmanric: My child wouldn't be left alone in a truck.

I felt the some way until I saw someone leave their child outside a convenience store in a stroller.

So... 3/10.

That's pretty genius.

If this guy's the thief, odds are he has unsavory friends.

Unsavory friends who now know he just got paid.

McVodkaBreath: Horseshat. I'd have a few more questions for this Ramos fellow that "found" my dag before I'd just hand over a 10k check.

Agree. It seems more 'ransom' than 'reward'.

Maybe now he can concentrate on the field and win one today.


/Go Skins.

McVodkaBreath: Horseshat. I'd have a few more questions for this Ramos fellow that "found" my dag before I'd just hand over a 10k check.

dobro: Agree. It seems more 'ransom' than 'reward'.

It's obvious the guy doesn't care, he just wanted his dog back.

From TFA:
"Just imagine your child," Cooley said.

Every single person in the history of all of humankind who, for any reason whatsoever, has uttered or even thought that sentiment, is a moron of the first order. An imbecile of epic proportions. An idiot of truly awe-inspiring grandeur.

/Parent
//Don't hate animals. Many of them are tasty.
///"Perspective". Look it up, Cooley.

Failing_Junk: McVodkaBreath: Horseshat. I'd have a few more questions for this Ramos fellow that "found" my dag before I'd just hand over a 10k check.

dobro: Agree. It seems more 'ransom' than 'reward'.

It's obvious the guy doesn't care, he just wanted his dog back.

Well yes, clearly he wanted the dog back & but he also said he had to get monies fronted from his brother & it wasnt easy to write out a 10k check. Sooo, why not roll up in there with friends & news cameras (like he did), take back Barky Woofenstein & then chat up the ransom I mean REWARD RECIPIENT, requesting more details about the heroic finding of his dag.

Frankly, I'd be more than a little pissed off if someone stole my truck & my dog while I was hanging in the Bass Pro Shop (sounds like a half completed country song!), and would not want to reward such behavior

When I read this yesterday and again today, something just gets me the wrong way about this story. For 2 possible scenarios, both that make the guy an asshole...

1. The guy that "found" the dog was somehow connected to the robbery and so, as another farker pointed out, it's more ransom than reward.

--or--

2. Maybe the guy really did just find the dog. Who accepts $10k for finding a dog?!?! There's no way I would take that money. I would feel too guilty. I'd accept maybe $100 and tell him to buy his dog some treats and start replacing the rest his stolen property.

bombsaway814: When I read this yesterday and again today, something just gets me the wrong way about this story. For 2 possible scenarios, both that make the guy an asshole...

1. The guy that "found" the dog was somehow connected to the robbery and so, as another farker pointed out, it's more ransom than reward.

--or--

2. Maybe the guy really did just find the dog. Who accepts $10k for finding a dog?!?! There's no way I would take that money. I would feel too guilty. I'd accept maybe $100 and tell him to buy his dog some treats and start replacing the rest his stolen property.

He mentioned paying off a medical debt.

ComicBookGuy: bombsaway814: When I read this yesterday and again today, something just gets me the wrong way about this story. For 2 possible scenarios, both that make the guy an asshole...

1. The guy that "found" the dog was somehow connected to the robbery and so, as another farker pointed out, it's more ransom than reward.

--or--

2. Maybe the guy really did just find the dog. Who accepts $10k for finding a dog?!?! There's no way I would take that money. I would feel too guilty. I'd accept maybe $100 and tell him to buy his dog some treats and start replacing the rest his stolen property.

He mentioned paying off a medical debt.


Right now i owe a minimal 30 large for a recent emergency with no job or insurance...

I wouldn't have taken a dime of that money.
Helping someone re-unite with a loved one who was thought to be gone, would have made me feel like i was flying - for a week.

Taking money for doing things that are just good human behavior is disgusting

bad karma

Perceptual Disgrace:
Every single person in the history of all of humankind who, for any reason whatsoever, has uttered or even thought that sentiment, is a moron of the first order. An imbecile of epic proportions. An idiot of truly awe-inspiring grandeur.

Exactly, although..

I'm genuinely surprised you haven't been savaged by the standard childless mouth breathing cheeto stained Farker yet. Must be a slow traffic day. Not that being childless is a bad thing, as most of them... even presented the unlikely opportunity, shouldn't reproduce anyway.

Oakenshield: Perceptual Disgrace:
Every single person in the history of all of humankind who, for any reason whatsoever, has uttered or even thought that sentiment, is a moron of the first order. An imbecile of epic proportions. An idiot of truly awe-inspiring grandeur.

Exactly, although..

I'm genuinely surprised you haven't been savaged by the standard childless mouth breathing cheeto stained Farker yet. Must be a slow traffic day. Not that being childless is a bad thing, as most of them... even presented the unlikely opportunity, shouldn't reproduce anyway.

Yes, that's just what the world needs: more people.

The second paragraph has it all:

rancher
his dog, Jim Bowie
pickup and trailer
Bass Pro Shop
Interstate 10


Yow!

Oakenshield: Perceptual Disgrace:
Every single person in the history of all of humankind who, for any reason whatsoever, has uttered or even thought that sentiment, is a moron of the first order. An imbecile of epic proportions. An idiot of truly awe-inspiring grandeur.

Exactly, although..

I'm genuinely surprised you haven't been savaged by the standard childless mouth breathing cheeto stained Farker yet. Must be a slow traffic day. Not that being childless is a bad thing, as most of them... even presented the unlikely opportunity, shouldn't reproduce anyway.

I'm disappointed, in truth. My post was 9 parts serious, 1 part troll, and I got nuthin'.

Perceptual Disgrace: From TFA:
"Just imagine your child," Cooley said.

Every single person in the history of all of humankind who, for any reason whatsoever, has uttered or even thought that sentiment, is a moron of the first order. An imbecile of epic proportions. An idiot of truly awe-inspiring grandeur.

/Parent
//Don't hate animals. Many of them are tasty.
///"Perspective". Look it up, Cooley.

Agreed. I have a dog and a cat I love, and used to have two ferrets I especially loved. But I don't get the whole ITG "I'll murder you for taking/hurting my pet" mentality.

Next move, put a stop payment on the check.

stiletto_the_wise: The second paragraph has it all:



rancher
his dog, Jim Bowie
pickup and trailer
Bass Pro Shop
Interstate 10


Yow!

...and just think, if he keeps playing that record backwards, he'll soon get his truck back, too...

...and his ex-wife, and his house, and his beer...

Everyone one of you who says he wouldn't accept the 10k reward is a goddamn liar.

gravyhand: Everyone one of you who says he wouldn't accept the 10k reward is a goddamn liar.

Not all of us... Last year I found a dog and kept him at my house until I found his owner. The dog was pretty scraggly and his nails were crazy overgrown so I cleaned him up a bit and gave him some food. The owner came to pick him up and tried to give me $100... I wouldn't take it, because I didn't do anything special, just helped a fellow being in need. Why the hell is that worth $10k? That thought alone would haunt me if I took that much money.

Perceptual Disgrace: Oakenshield: Perceptual Disgrace:
Every single person in the history of all of humankind who, for any reason whatsoever, has uttered or even thought that sentiment, is a moron of the first order. An imbecile of epic proportions. An idiot of truly awe-inspiring grandeur.

Exactly, although..

I'm genuinely surprised you haven't been savaged by the standard childless mouth breathing cheeto stained Farker yet. Must be a slow traffic day. Not that being childless is a bad thing, as most of them... even presented the unlikely opportunity, shouldn't reproduce anyway.

I'm disappointed, in truth. My post was 9 parts serious, 1 part troll, and I got nuthin'.

Fine, I'll bite. If you could stop thinking of your precious crotchfruit for two seconds, you might be able to wrap your head around the fact that he was almost certainly speaking figuratively.

I've known parents who constantly spout off about how children and parenting are the most greatest things ever and are offended at the notion that anything else could be as wonderful. One had a physically ill child and the other's child was an accident. I suspect the person they were trying to convince the most was themselves.

tripperday

I suspect the person they were trying to convince the most was themselves.

We all do what me must do to cope.

tripperday: Perceptual Disgrace: Oakenshield: Perceptual Disgrace:
Every single person in the history of all of humankind who, for any reason whatsoever, has uttered or even thought that sentiment, is a moron of the first order. An imbecile of epic proportions. An idiot of truly awe-inspiring grandeur.

Exactly, although..

I'm genuinely surprised you haven't been savaged by the standard childless mouth breathing cheeto stained Farker yet. Must be a slow traffic day. Not that being childless is a bad thing, as most of them... even presented the unlikely opportunity, shouldn't reproduce anyway.

I'm disappointed, in truth. My post was 9 parts serious, 1 part troll, and I got nuthin'.

Fine, I'll bite. If you could stop thinking of your precious crotchfruit for two seconds, you might be able to wrap your head around the fact that he was almost certainly speaking figuratively.

I've known parents who constantly spout off about how children and parenting are the most greatest things ever and are offended at the notion that anything else could be as wonderful. One had a physically ill child and the other's child was an accident. I suspect the person they were trying to convince the most was themselves.

"crotchfruit". You come up with that all by your wee self? Truly I am in the presence of a scintillating intellect.

Just so you know, sunshine, I don't have to think about my own precious crotchfruit at all to come to the conclusion that anyone who places the same value on a pet, as a parent does on a child, is without doubt suffering from rampant stupidity.

And the fact that Mr. Cooley parted with $10K for the rescue/ransom of his dog leads me to believe just a little bit that perhaps the man is NOT, in fact, speaking figuratively.

Your last paragraph is filled with so much that is presumptuous and ignorant that all I can say is: I'm happy your mommy loved her precious crotchfruit, so that I didn't have to miss out on the awesome words of wisdom that dribble from it's mouth.

Perceptual Disgrace: Perceptual Disgrace:
Just so you know, sunshine, I don't have to think about my own precious crotchfruit at all to come to the conclusion that anyone who places the same value on a pet, as a parent does on a child, is without doubt suffering from rampant stupidity.

And the fact that Mr. Cooley parted with $10K for the rescue/ransom of his dog leads me to believe just a little bit that perhaps the man is NOT, in fact, speaking figuratively.


Hee hee. As a childless pet owner, I used to get all het up about this kind of argument. Now I'm just, "Whatever. I love my pets, you love your kids, I love my nieces/nephews, everybody loves somebody/something." No, pets are not the same as children. I have recovered from losing pets to old age or disease, and gone on to love other pets. If it were my child I would go to my grave feeling that grief.

I understand the man ponying up $10k for his dog--money talks, and a lot of money talks LOUDLY. His personal honor is involved in paying the reward even if it were true that the person who returned the dog was in any way involved with the truck being stolen, which of course we don't know.

Perceptual Disgrace:
And the fact that Mr. Cooley parted with $10K for the rescue/ransom of his dog leads me to believe just a little bit that perhaps the man is NOT, in fact, speaking figuratively.

Your last paragraph is filled with so much that is presumptuous and ignorant that all I can say is: I'm happy your mommy loved her precious crotchfruit, so that I didn't have to miss out on the awesome words of wisdom that dribble from it's mouth.

A) The fact that it was only 10K is all the proof I need to know that he realizes it is a dog and not a child. When have you ever heard of someone offering only a 10K reward for a lost child? I would gladly pay 10K to have my dog returned to me, with no questions asked to whomever was doing the returning. I'd have to beg and borrow the money...and it would probably be my parents who would lend it to me. Because they love me. Yes, more than anything or anyone. It goes with the territory of shared DNA. I love them right back. (Though--as my mom never tires of saying-- not as much as she loves me.) They know I am, as stated, batshiat crazy about my dog. I won't apologize for it, nor will I accept that I am the string of insults you called me because I think of my dogs as my children.

But if my actual, human child (the one I don't have yet-- trying to decide between DNA and adopting-- very torn) were stolen? I would make Mel Gibson in RANSOM look like Glinda the Good Witch of the North. And I'd make Mel Gibson in real life look like...well. Mel Gibson in Ransom?

B) I call shenanigans, and venture to guess that your 9-to-1 formula is actually the other way around, and you were just trying to stir up the pot for the fun of it. If not, you're getting bent out of shape over nothing, and should spend some more time relaxing with your children, grandchildren, parents, pets... what or whomever, and less time on Fark. It's making you angry, which will send you to an early grave.

I stole "crotchfruit" from another troll. It's too good not to use.

You say you can tell he was speaking literally because the reward was 10K. Is that what your kid is worth to you? The fact that the reward was only 10k is actually quite telling when it comes to Mr. Cooley's state of mind and whether he was speaking literally or figuratively. That's a lot for a dog, but not much for a kid.

Also, check out the dog. These dogs ain't cheap. The replacement cost of this dog is definitely in the thousands, and if they see something special about this dog and have plans to breed him, that 10k reward might easily have a positive return on investment.

So you are obviously wrong about Mr. Cooley meaning that statement literally. Let's now explore why you made such a stupid mistake. I contend that is because you don't just love your child, you are personally offended by the mere notion that anyone could love anything else as much as a parent should love a child. The suggestion that someone might love something as much as a parent might love a child drives you into a frothing rage and you start spewing words like "moron", "imbecile", and "idiot", like a foppish 12-year-old nerd with his first thesaurus.

As far as my last paragraph, I'm just telling you what I've seen. The more unfortunate the circumstances of parenthood, the more enthusiastic the parent is about their child. Instead of just saying "I can't make it to blahblahblah", these people are all "I can't make it to blahblahblah because Joey has a game/psychiatrist appointment/chemo, but I still love being a parent. Wouldn't trade it for the world." Jeez. Give it a rest, people. Just because people feel sorry for you doesn't mean they think you hate your kids.

Perceptual Disgrace: tripperday: Perceptual Disgrace: Oakenshield: Perceptual Disgrace:
Every single person in the history of all of humankind who, for any reason whatsoever, has uttered or even thought that sentiment, is a moron of the first order. An imbecile of epic proportions. An idiot of truly awe-inspiring grandeur.

Exactly, although..

I'm genuinely surprised you haven't been savaged by the standard childless mouth breathing cheeto stained Farker yet. Must be a slow traffic day. Not that being childless is a bad thing, as most of them... even presented the unlikely opportunity, shouldn't reproduce anyway.

I'm disappointed, in truth. My post was 9 parts serious, 1 part troll, and I got nuthin'.

Fine, I'll bite. If you could stop thinking of your precious crotchfruit for two seconds, you might be able to wrap your head around the fact that he was almost certainly speaking figuratively.

I've known parents who constantly spout off about how children and parenting are the most greatest things ever and are offended at the notion that anything else could be as wonderful. One had a physically ill child and the other's child was an accident. I suspect the person they were trying to convince the most was themselves.

"crotchfruit". You come up with that all by your wee self? Truly I am in the presence of a scintillating intellect.

Just so you know, sunshine, I don't have to think about my own precious crotchfruit at all to come to the conclusion that anyone who places the same value on a pet, as a parent does on a child, is without doubt suffering from rampant stupidity.

And the fact that Mr. Cooley parted with $10K for the rescue/ransom of his dog leads me to believe just a little bit that perhaps the man is NOT, in fact, speaking figuratively.

Your last paragraph is filled with so much that is presumptuous and ignorant that all I can say is: I'm happy your mommy loved her precious crotchfruit, so that I didn't have to miss out on the awesome words of wisdom that dribble from it's mouth.

Forgot to quote your post. If anyone is looking for my reply, it's a few inches north.

tripperday:
So you are obviously wrong about Mr. Cooley meaning that statement literally. Let's now explore why you made such a stupid mistake. I contend that is because you don't just love your child, you are personally offended by the mere notion that anyone could love anything else as much as a parent should love a child. The suggestion that someone might love something as much as a parent might love a child drives you into a frothing rage and you start spewing words like "moron", "imbecile", and "idiot", like a foppish 12-year-old nerd with his first thesaurus.


Or he was just trollin with the homies.

If not, then- well put, sir.

queenalice: Perceptual Disgrace:
And the fact that Mr. Cooley parted with $10K for the rescue/ransom of his dog leads me to believe just a little bit that perhaps the man is NOT, in fact, speaking figuratively.

Your last paragraph is filled with so much that is presumptuous and ignorant that all I can say is: I'm happy your mommy loved her precious crotchfruit, so that I didn't have to miss out on the awesome words of wisdom that dribble from it's mouth.

A) The fact that it was only 10K is all the proof I need to know that he realizes it is a dog and not a child. When have you ever heard of someone offering only a 10K reward for a lost child? I would gladly pay 10K to have my dog returned to me, with no questions asked to whomever was doing the returning. I'd have to beg and borrow the money...and it would probably be my parents who would lend it to me. Because they love me. Yes, more than anything or anyone. It goes with the territory of shared DNA. I love them right back. (Though--as my mom never tires of saying-- not as much as she loves me.) They know I am, as stated, batshiat crazy about my dog. I won't apologize for it, nor will I accept that I am the string of insults you called me because I think of my dogs as my children.

But if my actual, human child (the one I don't have yet-- trying to decide between DNA and adopting-- very torn) were stolen? I would make Mel Gibson in RANSOM look like Glinda the Good Witch of the North. And I'd make Mel Gibson in real life look like...well. Mel Gibson in Ransom?

B) I call shenanigans, and venture to guess that your 9-to-1 formula is actually the other way around, and you were just trying to stir up the pot for the fun of it. If not, you're getting bent out of shape over nothing, and should spend some more time relaxing with your children, grandchildren, parents, pets... what or whomever, and less time on Fark. It's making you angry, which will send you to an early grave.

A) Haha! Someone who doesn't have $10K to throw around? Anyone not in a position to offer a reward for the ransom of their child? And "It goes with the territory of shared DNA" is a silly argument. (Particularly given your indecision regarding "DNA and adopting" -- See? I've no doubt you'll love the child as much either way.) It actually goes with the territory of a child being a human being and not, you know, a dog. Yup. That's the territory, right there.

(Side note: I'm watching Mel Gibson in "Edge of Darkness" even now. Dude is HELL on his kids...)

B) You might be right to call shenanigans, though not in the order of my trolling. I have not at any time been bent out of shape about this topic. Although I seriously hold the view as initially expressed, I fully accept that stupid people just won't get it. Why get angry at such a rich and abundant source of entertainment?

/p.s. Ummm... This is Fark.
//Welcome.
///That you feel the need to explain your name leads me to infer that there is a bit of you that feels the Queen.
////I could be wrong. But usually I'm not.

Perceptual Disgrace: queenalice: Perceptual Disgrace:
And the fact that Mr. Cooley parted with $10K for the rescue/ransom of his dog leads me to believe just a little bit that perhaps the man is NOT, in fact, speaking figuratively.

Your last paragraph is filled with so much that is presumptuous and ignorant that all I can say is: I'm happy your mommy loved her precious crotchfruit, so that I didn't have to miss out on the awesome words of wisdom that dribble from it's mouth.

A) The fact that it was only 10K is all the proof I need to know that he realizes it is a dog and not a child. When have you ever heard of someone offering only a 10K reward for a lost child? I would gladly pay 10K to have my dog returned to me, with no questions asked to whomever was doing the returning. I'd have to beg and borrow the money...and it would probably be my parents who would lend it to me. Because they love me. Yes, more than anything or anyone. It goes with the territory of shared DNA. I love them right back. (Though--as my mom never tires of saying-- not as much as she loves me.) They know I am, as stated, batshiat crazy about my dog. I won't apologize for it, nor will I accept that I am the string of insults you called me because I think of my dogs as my children.

But if my actual, human child (the one I don't have yet-- trying to decide between DNA and adopting-- very torn) were stolen? I would make Mel Gibson in RANSOM look like Glinda the Good Witch of the North. And I'd make Mel Gibson in real life look like...well. Mel Gibson in Ransom?

B) I call shenanigans, and venture to guess that your 9-to-1 formula is actually the other way around, and you were just trying to stir up the pot for the fun of it. If not, you're getting bent out of shape over nothing, and should spend some more time relaxing with your children, grandchildren, parents, pets... what or whomever, and less time on Fark. It's making you angry, which will send you to an early grave.

A) Haha! Someone who doesn't have $10K to throw around? Anyone not in a position to offer a reward for the ransom of their child? And "It goes with the territory of shared DNA" is a silly argument. (Particularly given your indecision regarding "DNA and adopting" -- See? I've no doubt you'll love the child as much either way.) It actually goes with the territory of a child being a human being and not, you know, a dog. Yup. That's the territory, right there.

(Side note: I'm watching Mel Gibson in "Edge of Darkness" even now. Dude is HELL on his kids...)

B) You might be right to call shenanigans, though not in the order of my trolling. I have not at any time been bent out of shape about this topic. Although I seriously hold the view as initially expressed, I fully accept that stupid people just won't get it. Why get angry at such a rich and abundant source of entertainment?

/p.s. Ummm... This is Fark.
//Welcome.
///That you feel the need to explain your name leads me to infer that there is a bit of you that feels the Queen.
////I could be wrong. But usually I'm not.

Cool! So you're voting for my dogs, right? Thanks!

/I'm sitting here feeding Beluga to my dogs and wiping their butts with benjamins, so I'm kicking a real kick out of this thread.

queenalice: tripperday:
So you are obviously wrong about Mr. Cooley meaning that statement literally. Let's now explore why you made such a stupid mistake. I contend that is because you don't just love your child, you are personally offended by the mere notion that anyone could love anything else as much as a parent should love a child. The suggestion that someone might love something as much as a parent might love a child drives you into a frothing rage and you start spewing words like "moron", "imbecile", and "idiot", like a foppish 12-year-old nerd with his first thesaurus.


Or he was just trollin with the homies.

If not, then- well put, sir.

Fun fact: The words moron, imbecile, and idiot used to be accepted terms in the psychological trade for the various levels of mental retardation. I forget which was worse on the "mildly" to "profoundly" retarded scale. Of course, given that this was during the time that Eugenics was an accepted science, those uses are no longer socially acceptable.

/foppish? Really? You're adorable!
//Don't have a thesaurus. My dog ate it.

I already knew that fun fact, and figured the first word that came to you was "retard", but that wouldn't impress your audience, so you looked it up in an online thesaurus. Is that close to what happened?

queenalice: Cool! So you're voting for my dogs, right? Thanks!

I voted for the playground picture.

Cool! So you're voting for my dogs, right? Thanks!

/I'm sitting here feeding Beluga to my dogs and wiping their butts with benjamins, so I'm kicking a real kick out of this thread.

I totally voted for your dogs! They're adorable.

/You're feeding whales to your dogs!! O, the Huge Manatee!!!
//Paging tripperday! Please let me know if I'm supposed to be butthurt!

Perceptual Disgrace: queenalice: tripperday:
So you are obviously wrong about Mr. Cooley meaning that statement literally. Let's now explore why you made such a stupid mistake. I contend that is because you don't just love your child, you are personally offended by the mere notion that anyone could love anything else as much as a parent should love a child. The suggestion that someone might love something as much as a parent might love a child drives you into a frothing rage and you start spewing words like "moron", "imbecile", and "idiot", like a foppish 12-year-old nerd with his first thesaurus.


Or he was just trollin with the homies.

If not, then- well put, sir.

Fun fact: The words moron, imbecile, and idiot used to be accepted terms in the psychological trade for the various levels of mental retardation. I forget which was worse on the "mildly" to "profoundly" retarded scale. Of course, given that this was during the time that Eugenics was an accepted science, those uses are no longer socially acceptable.

/foppish? Really? You're adorable!
//Don't have a thesaurus. My dog ate it.

Wait, hold on. You just attributed a quote to me...when I'm not the one who said it...and you're calling me ret...

Oh, nevermind. Why feed the trolls when I can go back to feeding my dogs?

You're supposed to be as butthurt as I am.

Perceptual Disgrace:
I totally voted for your dogs! They're adorable.

You like them? Cause I'll sell them both to you for 20K. I'm saving up to adopt. Thanks to your insights I've realized that even though I am a Queen, still I'm much too retarded and idiotic and Cheeto-stained (although admittedly /adorable!!) to pay my genes forward.

tripperday: queenalice: Cool! So you're voting for my dogs, right? Thanks!

I voted for the playground picture.

thanks man. i wish more people would enter the photoshop contest. i'm giving away TF memberships, but NO ONE CARES.

/butthurt

queenalice: Perceptual Disgrace: queenalice: tripperday:
So you are obviously wrong about Mr. Cooley meaning that statement literally. Let's now explore why you made such a stupid mistake. I contend that is because you don't just love your child, you are personally offended by the mere notion that anyone could love anything else as much as a parent should love a child. The suggestion that someone might love something as much as a parent might love a child drives you into a frothing rage and you start spewing words like "moron", "imbecile", and "idiot", like a foppish 12-year-old nerd with his first thesaurus.


Or he was just trollin with the homies.

If not, then- well put, sir.

Fun fact: The words moron, imbecile, and idiot used to be accepted terms in the psychological trade for the various levels of mental retardation. I forget which was worse on the "mildly" to "profoundly" retarded scale. Of course, given that this was during the time that Eugenics was an accepted science, those uses are no longer socially acceptable.

/foppish? Really? You're adorable!
//Don't have a thesaurus. My dog ate it.

Wait, hold on. You just attributed a quote to me...when I'm not the one who said it...and you're calling me ret...

Oh, nevermind. Why feed the trolls when I can go back to feeding my dogs?

Sorry, I'm not terribly bright, and my only goal in that reply was to reply to your reply, specifically the "trollin with the homies" bit, bringing it all fully 'round in a big ironical circle because, well, I did say I was trolling in my Weeners to the Weeners to my post and, well, frankly this conversation has exhausted it's comedic potential; not that I blame you, necessarily, but my primary issue with internet chatter is that people pretty much read whatever they want into whatever anyone says and get all bent out of shape and this all started with a sort of concrete premise that, in it's very concreteness, really sort of set up its own dissolution because, seriously, approximately 14 billion pair of eyes open up every morning (in your region) and gaze out upon a completely different planet than that being gazed upon by all the other pair (no offense intended to the blind, partially blind, one-eyed or no-eyed peeps out there) in the history of all humankind, so having a concrete opinion about pretty much anything is sort of the first step down an extremely slippery slope of significant gradient.

Geddit?

/Quoting is hard.
//If anyone injured or abducted my precious crotchfruit, make no mistake that I would make every effort to visit such pain upon them and theirs as would make God himself turn his face away and weep because, yes, I do love my child to a perfectly normal and sane extent, but, no, it does not offend me that others might have the idea or even the actuality of loving someone or something as much as I love my precious crotchfruit. I mean, whatevs, you know?
///I'm not very athletic, though, so it wouldn't make a good film.
////Can I get my parking validated?

queenalice: Perceptual Disgrace:
I totally voted for your dogs! They're adorable.

You like them? Cause I'll sell them both to you for 20K. I'm saving up to adopt. Thanks to your insights I've realized that even though I am a Queen, still I'm much too retarded and idiotic and Cheeto-stained (although admittedly /adorable!!) to pay my genes forward.

Actually he said I was adorable, and he would be right if I exchanged my hangover for a haircut.

tripperday: queenalice: Perceptual Disgrace:
I totally voted for your dogs! They're adorable.

You like them? Cause I'll sell them both to you for 20K. I'm saving up to adopt. Thanks to your insights I've realized that even though I am a Queen, still I'm much too retarded and idiotic and Cheeto-stained (although admittedly /adorable!!) to pay my genes forward.

Actually he said I was adorable, and he would be right if I exchanged my hangover for a haircut.

pics or it didn't happen.

This is from last night before we even left the house. (bars around here are closed on Christmas and wait until midnight on the 26th) I'm like a younger (and drunker) Santa Claus.

tripperday: This is from last night before we even left the house. (bars around here are closed on Christmas and wait until midnight on the 26th) I'm like a younger (and drunker) Santa Claus.

Is that your son?? He's gorgeous!!

/50-50 chance of being right...

I'm the hairy one.

tripperday: I'm the hairy one.

haha. I meant whether the cat was a boy or a girl. :P