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(Chicago Sun-Times)   And the next thing foodies will douche up and ruin is *shakes Magic 8-ball* eggnog   (suntimes.com) divider line 224
    More: Stupid, eggnogs, magic, Paula Deen, The Early November, Puerto Rican, CoCo, malt liquors, Food Network  
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14007 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2010 at 1:09 PM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



224 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-12-19 10:16:37 AM
Okay, eggnog is easy. Egg + milk + cream + sugar + bourbon (or rum if you're a heathen yankee) + vanilla (optional) + nugmeg. Anything more than that is unnecessary and frankly may ruin it. And I feel bad for adding the vanilla.
 
2010-12-19 10:20:49 AM
I *less than three* eggnog.
 
2010-12-19 10:24:47 AM
Abstruse: Okay, eggnog is easy. Egg + milk + cream + sugar + bourbon (or rum if you're a heathen yankee) + vanilla (optional) + nugmeg. Anything more than that is unnecessary and frankly may ruin it. And I feel bad for adding the vanilla.

Rum is the right way to make it. Wikipedia even agrees.
 
2010-12-19 10:34:54 AM
Kasira: Rum is the right way to make it. Wikipedia even agrees.

Like I said, yankee heathen.
 
2010-12-19 10:53:01 AM
I don't really care what you call it or what combination of ingredients is combined as long as it tastes good.
 
2010-12-19 10:54:27 AM
WorldCitizen: I don't really care what you call it or what combination of ingredients is combined as long as it tastes good.
 
2010-12-19 11:07:31 AM
You know, at first, I could not imagine how that beer-nog could possibly taste good at all, but then I remembered the LA Beer Float Showdown and all the tastiness there, and realized, 'you know what, it could work.'
 
2010-12-19 11:17:44 AM
Dash of Cholula?
 
2010-12-19 11:27:10 AM
Douching with eggnog sounds... sticky.
 
2010-12-19 11:33:51 AM
If Subby wasn't such a blinder-wearing douchebag and actually read the article, he'd learn that the different variations of cream-egg-sugar-liquor date back more than 500 years and stop whining about foodies "ruining" eggnog.
I mean, what's next, complaining that foodies are ruining hot dogs because of an article discussing kielbasa and braunschweiger?
 
2010-12-19 11:36:49 AM
Theaetetus: If Subby wasn't such a blinder-wearing douchebag and actually read the article, he'd learn that the different variations of cream-egg-sugar-liquor date back more than 500 years and stop whining about foodies "ruining" eggnog.
I mean, what's next, complaining that foodies are ruining hot dogs because of an article discussing kielbasa and braunschweiger?


The problem isn't that these variations are hundreds of years old. It's that foodies take on a superior attitude saying that this certain way is the ONLY way and doing something as horrid as buying it from a jug or carton at the store (aside from Whole Foods where they probably have organic free-range small-batch eggnog that costs $15 for a quart and tastes exactly the same) is a crime against nature.
 
2010-12-19 11:47:53 AM
I can't stand eggnog.

That's what I make TIKI NOG (TM).

i210.photobucket.com

It's just TIKI PUNCH (TM) with some cinnamon and nutmeg mixed in.

It's the holiday sensation that's sweeping a remote part of the nation!!!
 
2010-12-19 11:48:28 AM
That's *WHY* I make TIKI NOG (TM), rather.

Clearly, these are the effects of an all-night TIKI NOG (TM) bender.
 
#2 [TotalFark]
2010-12-19 12:02:27 PM
Marge: Homer, didn't you get any milk? All I see is egg nog.

Homer: 'Tis the season, Marge!

- The Simpsons (1995)

\Fun Fact: Egg nog burns calories like green tea, make sure to drink plenty this season.

img147.imageshack.us
 
2010-12-19 12:35:39 PM
I prefer the store-bought kind
 
2010-12-19 12:40:33 PM
ArkAngel: I prefer the store-bought kind

I prefer the taste of homemade, but the texture of the store-bought...mainly because I can't get it thick and creamy. The recipe I use has the eggs separated and egg whites beaten to stiff peaks, which makes it insanely frothy...which doesn't work well with my mustache. Next time I make some, I'm going to just beat the crap out of the eggs instead of separating them.
 
2010-12-19 01:05:25 PM
I only use locally harvested nog.
 
2010-12-19 01:13:16 PM
I'm buying some nog later today so my aorta is puckering at these replies.
 
2010-12-19 01:13:36 PM
Abstruse: Theaetetus: If Subby wasn't such a blinder-wearing douchebag and actually read the article, he'd learn that the different variations of cream-egg-sugar-liquor date back more than 500 years and stop whining about foodies "ruining" eggnog.
I mean, what's next, complaining that foodies are ruining hot dogs because of an article discussing kielbasa and braunschweiger?

The problem isn't that these variations are hundreds of years old. It's that foodies take on a superior attitude saying that this certain way is the ONLY way and doing something as horrid as buying it from a jug or carton at the store (aside from Whole Foods where they probably have organic free-range small-batch eggnog that costs $15 for a quart and tastes exactly the same) is a crime against nature.


This.

/with rum
 
2010-12-19 01:13:43 PM
Cake Hunter: I only use locally harvested nog.

How many nogs had to die for your holiday cheer?
 
2010-12-19 01:14:04 PM
Cake Hunter: I only use locally harvested nog.

Picked up from the ground as they fall by indigenous lesbian farmers?
 
2010-12-19 01:14:40 PM
Theaetetus: If Subby wasn't such a blinder-wearing douchebag and actually read the article, he'd learn that the different variations of cream-egg-sugar-liquor date back more than 500 years and stop whining about foodies "ruining" eggnog.
I mean, what's next, complaining that foodies are ruining hot dogs because of an article discussing kielbasa and braunschweiger?


got damn you, red blooded real americans dont want none of your puerta vallarta poverty hooch
 
2010-12-19 01:15:47 PM
Bottle/Can of Eggnog from the supermarket + bottle of cheap whisky = We're in business.
 
2010-12-19 01:15:49 PM
Egg nog purist. I drink it straight out of the carton - no nutmeg or booze to ruin the taste.....and I will go through at least a gallon a week for the next month.....
 
2010-12-19 01:16:35 PM
...coquito, a Puerto Rican tradition that combines eggs, cream of coconut, rum and spices for ultra-rich seasonal sipping...

That sounds really good.

/ Clicked the link expecting something douchetastic like pink Himalayan salt
 
2010-12-19 01:16:44 PM
the masked farker: Egg nog purist. I drink it straight out of the carton - no nutmeg or booze to ruin the taste.....and I will go through at least a gallon a week for the next month.....

And before anyone else says it...yes, I sound fat.
 
2010-12-19 01:17:25 PM
the masked farker: Egg nog purist. I drink it straight out of the carton

I lol'd

/ But you get no booze taht way WTF
 
2010-12-19 01:18:51 PM
Ahhhh....Eggnog Douche

There's a certain farker I really miss this time of year.....

/Ho, Ho, Ho
 
2010-12-19 01:19:11 PM
As long as it has plenty of the Kracken in it all is good.
 
2010-12-19 01:19:26 PM
Oh you poor slobs who can't get Oberweiss egg nog. I feel so sorry for you.
 
2010-12-19 01:19:56 PM
I only use eggs from chickens that I've personally inseminated.

Never really cared for the stuff myself.
 
2010-12-19 01:19:57 PM
Bourbon.

Always.

rum = blasphemy

/not just for nog either
 
2010-12-19 01:20:02 PM
Abstruse:

The problem isn't that these variations are hundreds of years old. It's that foodies take on a superior attitude saying that this certain way is the ONLY way and doing something as horrid as buying it from a jug or carton at the store (aside from Whole Foods where they probably have organic free-range small-batch eggnog that costs $15 for a quart and tastes exactly the same) is a crime against nature.


It is pretty clear that you do not know anything about foodies. Foodies do not care if it comes from a cardboard carton from a local grocery store or from a glass jug at Whole Foods. Nor do they care if they are eating a hot dog from a street vendor or eating at the best restaurant in the city. All they care about is eating good food. That is it.
 
2010-12-19 01:20:13 PM
jaytkay: the masked farker: Egg nog purist. I drink it straight out of the carton

I lol'd

/ But you get no booze taht way WTF


Take a few chugs, pour in bourbon, cap, shake, done.
 
2010-12-19 01:20:22 PM
Fark ruined eggnog.

I don't blame the foodies, I blame subby.
 
2010-12-19 01:24:04 PM
Yeah, those people are freaks!

NSFW Link

Wassat? Oh FOODies!

Nevermind.
 
2010-12-19 01:24:15 PM
I made eggnog on November 11th. . . I don't have the recipe in front of me, but it has a full fifth of bourbon, a pint of dark barbados rum, a generous cup of nice brandy, 12 egg yolks and a few other choice ingredients.

It's about 75% booze if not more. I then aged it in the refrigerator. We started drinking it on Thanksgiving and the burn was pretty raw. Then I resealed it and put it back into the fridge. I have tried it every week since and it is unbelievably good now. Smooth like mother's milk.
 
2010-12-19 01:24:49 PM
Where are all the whiskey and bourbon purists claiming they can't drink anything less than single-malt oak-cask-aged small-batch hand-crafted from grain and glacier ice individually chipped and harvested by indigenous lesbian farmers?
 
2010-12-19 01:25:39 PM
But the beer snobs on Fark are foodies too, aren't they?
 
2010-12-19 01:26:41 PM
naveline: Smooth like mother's milk.

I won't ask how you know that.
 
2010-12-19 01:27:20 PM
If there is anything I hate more than douchetashtic foodies, its eggnog.
 
2010-12-19 01:27:24 PM
Subby made it sound like someone was making truffle & wasabi laced eggnog or something.

Anything made with better ingredients rather than egg & rum flavoring with corn syrup is going to taste better. If you have any taste buds.
 
2010-12-19 01:30:25 PM
only once a year i go to the store and buy some of it. i consider that fancy enough.
 
2010-12-19 01:30:27 PM
Eggnog is disgusting. It ruins itself.
 
2010-12-19 01:30:38 PM
Theaetetus: If Subby wasn't such a blinder-wearing douchebag and actually read the article, he'd learn that the different variations of cream-egg-sugar-liquor date back more than 500 years and stop whining about foodies "ruining" eggnog.
I mean, what's next, complaining that foodies are ruining hot dogs because of an article discussing kielbasa and braunschweiger?


C'mon man, surely you realize by now that Fark admins prefer inaccurate, trolling headlines to honest ones because of the increase in discussion and butthurt whining it creates in threads.
 
2010-12-19 01:30:46 PM
Th recipe in the Joy of Cooking is quite good. Freshly planed nutmeg on the top puts it over the edge. Contains about 5000 calories per cup, though. Two servings will seize up your arterties.
 
2010-12-19 01:32:06 PM
Who gets angry about this kind of thing?
 
2010-12-19 01:32:52 PM
Populism? In my Fark? It's easier than you think ...
 
2010-12-19 01:33:39 PM
douche up and ruin

Thanks for new alt handle, subby.
 
2010-12-19 01:33:42 PM
Nakito: But the beer snobs on Fark are foodies too, aren't they?

Them's fightin' words and you're directing them at people whose hobby is drinking. Careful now.
 
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