Snaggle-toothed or not, I'd still hit it.

She f*cking hot. Summer teeth or no summer teeth.

btw - The intro to that song reminds me of the music in 12 Monkeys. Just something I feel you all should know.

QBalle: gets an award for using the words "jumblies", "jugs", and "funbags" in the same post.

Well done, sir...

christina aguilara and celine dion have the best "o" singing faces, and the finger wave too.

Not hot and her music sucks. Just my little humble opinion.

as the great howard stern once said,

"those are some of the nicest teeth I've ever come across"

Ashamed as I am to admit I know this: she and Ty Murray broke up, and then got back together. So, I guess that is why he was at the Divas thing, LoungeLizard.

I have heard her new album and I think its great....


FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!

azazyel
nice ref. it's a double entendre really, as it accurately describes us farkbackers too.

ogt indeed

Is that supposed to be Monica Lewinsky in the video?

Christina Aguillera has to cut own a scene of herself "playing" with a hose, but Jewel keep some guy sleeping on a bench wagging an erect bottle on his crotch? WTF is up with that?

but my God she is a hot peice of ass....

FOR ME TO FARK ON!!!

Excellent lyrics, RedEyedWings. Did she really get a tit job, or did that line just fit well into the song?

NBA halftime show - the pinnacle of post-modern fads, commercialism, and fakery. Thanks Jewel!

After several years writing as a rock critic, I've come to have a theory on commercial music: record execs have a deadly sense of humor. Anything that comes along that is even remotely subversive they slam into a TV special or a commercial. The star is dazzled by all the money and fame they receive, record execs chuckle because the fans eat it up and little Johnny Whitebread gets to think he's a rebel with his tattoos.

For reference, see:
Henry "Moviestar" Rollins
The recent litigation over the use of 'Holiday In Cambodia' for use in a Levi Jeans commercial
Rage Against The Machine (signed to Sony, the hugest frickin' record label in the world)

And now back to your regularly scheduled pop-diva-bimbo.

Seems Jewel's in the wrong business, everyone here's just intersted in her tits. So much for being a poignant singer-songwriter.

/Hated her then, hate her now

I have no idea if she truly got the boobies done, but I will say there's been noticeable improvement from her coffee-house folksinger days.

Or maybe she just discovered the push-up. Either way, it's nothing but buttah.

If only these no-talent girls would just see the same truth swahnhennessy. I don't want to hear them sing, I just want to see them jump and bounce. Maybe they all just need to join Kim Jong Il's entertainment crew...

And we already either love or hate her music so lets just see more nice SFW pics! Although a NSFW link or two would be a good welcome home, but they're probably fake.

I declare this story.......

Ironic!

Now I don't listen to top 40 radio or watch videos so I didn't know she had a big shelf. Is it real or store-bought?

This guy gets Jewel?? What is wrong in the world??

I always liked her, but yeah, I don't get her new "pop" thing. Jewel, I liked you better folky. Please go back.

Hey, there is some crazy shiznat that happens while you are shaving your legs. It's not the easiest thing to do, you know?

Um...it's not that hard. And I would think that this retarded lather bar-enclosing-a-razor thing would make it that much suckier.

This guy gets Jewel?? What is wrong in the world??

King-Brad, it's the rodeo thing. I have a major weakness for a guy in a cowboy hat, and I assume Jewel does, too.

They used "Holiday in Cambodia" in a Levi's commercial? That song has the n-word in it. Oh well, I guess no self-respecting brother would wear Levi's, anyway. Or whites, for that matter.

June 9th 2003

face it-everyone will sell out sooner or later.

Examples:
Metallica
Sugar Ray
Cher
Offspring

/please feel free to add to list

King-Brad: I can explain it. Take a good look at that yay-hoo. That guy is either dumb enough to understand how trite and shi-tay her music is, or he's smart enough to know that he can't do much better, so just keep his mouth shut, ears stuffed, and eyes on the boobies.

Considering that Jewel pretty much sucks at both folk and electronic music, who cares if she sells her soul for razors?

lunaticcalm:

MOBY. Moby, moby, moby.

/where did you go wrong?

Her bottom teeth are the ones that are farked.

OK, re-type. Error on my part. I meant to say Mr. 8 Seconds is too dumb to understand how trite and shi-tay....

as you were, privates.

It's the story of a poor Alaskan girl, who moves out to California with her mother, and lives in her car for a year, playing folk on the side when she's not washing her hair in gas station bathrooms, gets noticed by one of the Go-Go's (they've got the beat, or so i'm told), and gets album made. Album sounds like Neil Young with a vagina, replaced with lyrics about love, care-free lifestyle, and kids who go into comas. Album makes lots of money; Lilith Fair ensues. Women everywhere pick up guitars, learn 8 chords, and start writing albums about trees and clover leaves. Jewel, however, goes another way, writing a book of poems. Book sucks, but the Oprah crowd eats it up. Jewel dates rodeo star, one of those idiots with a lust for being mauled in the groin by a furious bull, slowly becomes pop star. Now, the end result is here....

Hope that explains how farking annoying it is to have a long-term memory, when shi'ite like this pops out of the sewer. I actually enjoyed her first album, though.

Thanks, SockMonkey, for the post letting me in on what's up with DK. Had no idea, then did a Google and got the scoop. Unfarkingbelievable.

Yeah yeah, I mean MORE pictures than that. I like both quality and quantity.

yup, i'd release it too.

is there something wrong with selling albums?

fark art, what y'all call 'art' or 'subversive' obviously isn't paying liz phair, rage, hank rollins or jewel kiltcher enough money.

did y'all sell out when you quit McD's for a higher paying job? should people hate you cuz you're so obviously different from when you were broke?

aside from that, most people in the entertainment biz refer to your 'selling out' as their 'getting a shot'. people don't change - they just get different opportunities to make decisions that show who they really are. you may have incorrectly attributed too much idealism or deep thought to what they've done before.

Was George Lucas a mastermind who cashed in with ep 1-3? or was he always a subpar writer who just had a decent scifi film when there were none, with great collaborators on the first two; and in retrospect the 3rd should have been a warning to fans that he was a fluke?

just because you apply the term 'subversive' to henry rollins doesn't mean that's all he was. he was a pissed off guy who could write and speak well. he biatched about stuff, but he drives a jag. ever go to one of his shows? he wears tailored suit pants and $200 shoes. come on people, open your eyes.

and it isn't like this is a big change for jewel either. have you heard her earlier music? the sappy crap is her bread and butter. did you forget about the poetry book? jebus people.

she's hot. she's making some dough. 'nuff said.

next!

I don't think it's possible to be a hot pop star and have integrity.

Discuss.

Rollins is wearing pants now?

Paging Bill Hicks

King-Brad, it's the rodeo thing. I have a major weakness for a guy in a cowboy hat, and I assume Jewel does, too.

*twitch*

Cowboy hat fetishes? This guy is butt ugly!

Here are some other songs that didn't make the album:

2 lame for wurds
I brake 4 endorsements
U R 2 stoopid 4 Buying My album
Britney X10
(Originality * .0001)
I 8 @ KFC: (Some 1 get me a contract)
Pop Diva SUX

I think she was cuter about 5 or so years ago. She had that downhome girl look that I am a sucker for. Now she's become another 'bot in the record business and looks like the rest of the diva pack.

I guess that it's hard to keep your ideals when you have boatloads of money and fame staring you right in the face.

6.) Naked guys getting shot.

2003-07-09 11:43:44 AM Beasty-Fella

Yeah yeah, I mean MORE pictures than that. I like both quality and quantity.

Guess you and Iare out of luck now that she's got this stallion

Yeah, I thought Hank only wore tattered shorts and went shirtless.

Because I'm a liar.

I'd love to hear TelefunkenU47's thoughts on how this move is really an artistic statement. Seriously :)

Unfortunately, the cheap bastards where I work won't supply me with a computer with sound card or speakers, so I'm forced to listen to a shiatty local FM Top 40 station which is the only signal I can receive on my Radio Shack Build-It Yourself transistor radio (seeing as how my office is in the sub-basement of an unlicensed and therefore illegal nuclear waste storage facility). But anyway, I've heard the song and seen the commercial....I always thought it was Shakira....Bet the marketing whizzes hate dumbasses like me...

Shakira or Jewel.....doesn't matter to me, I'd hit 'em both, preferably at the same time.....

Cowboy hat fetishes? This guy is butt ugly!

Meh, he's average. You're also forgetting that he's one of the most successful rodeo-ers (yeah, that's not a word) out there. Those guys make bank. Plus, he's obviously talented and has major cajones.

b0bb0:

I read:
"I think she was a cutter about 5 or so years ago."

That would have made my day because of the funny.