tlchwi02: Its like criticizing opera for its lack of explosions

You need to go to better operas, apparently.

/She is what she is, and that is annoying
//Her food is 50/50 for me
///Cute, though

She's not a good role model for abstinence.

Get it?

Believe me, you can tell almost instantly by watching her show that Sandra Lee is a drunk.

I forgive you for the Kwanzaa Cake, food writer lady. I don't know what I'd do if I needed to create 10 holiday-themed angel food cakes from store-bought ingredients. And it was a comedy win.

Hmmm, I'm curious as to why this cake is that bad. The applies sound kind of gross and the candles are obnoxious, but the frosting seems like it would be tasty. Why did this turn into such a huge deal?

I guess I miss the point entirely.

Yeah. I imagine J. Robert Oppenheimer probably wrote the same sort of thing back in the day.

Minus the corn nuts, the pie filling and the candles that cake looks pretty good.

What was wrong with this cake? Seriously, was there some type of hidden message I missed?

ChubbyTiger: tlchwi02: Its like criticizing opera for its lack of explosions

You need to go to better operas, apparently.

/She is what she is, and that is annoying
//Her food is 50/50 for me
///Cute, though

yeah i thought of that right after posting- opera's do have explosions. i was kind of trying to make a michael bay thing, and it didn't really work.

i guess too i've met ms. ray on several occasions, and had her food on most of them. She's a nice person who enjoys what she does and yet on the internet people act as if she is some malicious person who has some SPECTRE worthy goal of destroying cooking. She's just a woman from the sticks who does cooking tv shows for middle aged home makers and people who want to cook stuff but don't always have the time to do everything but because she isn't a MASTER CHEF people slag her.

tlchwi02: She recognized that there was a lack of cooking shows that appealed to the homemaker demographic, and thats squarely who she targets.

Essentially that's what they all do: attempt to make x y, or z accessible to the average person or homemaker. It's just some of them (Rachel Ray and Sandra Lee) lower the bar as to what constitutes "homemaking". If you are a full time homemaker there is no excuse for needing cheesy shortcuts.

tlchwi02: ChubbyTiger: tlchwi02: Its like criticizing opera for its lack of explosions

You need to go to better operas, apparently.

/She is what she is, and that is annoying
//Her food is 50/50 for me
///Cute, though

yeah i thought of that right after posting- opera's do have explosions. i was kind of trying to make a michael bay thing, and it didn't really work.

i guess too i've met ms. ray on several occasions, and had her food on most of them. She's a nice person who enjoys what she does and yet on the internet people act as if she is some malicious person who has some SPECTRE worthy goal of destroying cooking. She's just a woman from the sticks who does cooking tv shows for middle aged home makers and people who want to cook stuff but don't always have the time to do everything but because she isn't a MASTER CHEF people slag her.

I think most people dislike her super-hyper personality more than anything else. Well, that and the fact that she won't sleep with us.

jpo2269: What was wrong with this cake? Seriously, was there some type of hidden message I missed?

Let me condense the recipe for you:

1. Buy Angel Food Cake from Store
2. Thaw Cool Whip
3. Dye Cool Whip with Food Coloring
4. Spread Cool Whip on Store-Bought Cake
5. Sprinkle random holiday-looking crap on it
6. ????
7. Vomit at the fact she's getting 7 figures for doing this on TV

real Kwanzaa Cake is traditionally filled with crack cocaine

bighasbeen: Essentially that's what they all do: attempt to make x y, or z accessible to the average person or homemaker. It's just some of them (Rachel Ray and Sandra Lee) lower the bar as to what constitutes "homemaking". If you are a full time homemaker there is no excuse for needing cheesy shortcuts.

having children

GT_bike: Chalker1123: That lady's writing style is obnoxious, you're not Dave Barry, just tell your stupid story.

obnoxious? Let me pour some lemon juice in my eyes to make them feel better after that. That piece smelled worse than the time we found that missing package of limberger and blood sausage under the seat of grandma's 68 Chrysler New Yorker. It was a typical July in North Carolina with the doors and windows shut for 3 days.

Really...

I watch Food all the time, i did not even know about this...
checking it out, it looks like the show about the cake first aired like in 2007, - 3 years ago...or more
This article is written with all of the urgency that this is some sort of relevant urgent revelation
so much so that she must FLEE the country for her safety after people learn that she is responsible...
like we are all hanging around on tinder hooks to find out who is REALLY responsible so we can enact our revenge
please...
if she is so ashamed they why write about it,
it has become a meme with a slight cult following and this author is doing the same thing she accuses Sandra Lee of
She is an attention whore seeking her 5 minutes
and throwing sandra lee under the bus in the process
that was a terrible article written by a hack

Excen: jpo2269: What was wrong with this cake? Seriously, was there some type of hidden message I missed?

Let me condense the recipe for you:

1. Buy Angel Food Cake from Store
2. Thaw Cool Whip
3. Dye Cool Whip with Food Coloring
4. Spread Cool Whip on Store-Bought Cake
5. Sprinkle random holiday-looking crap on it
6. ????
7. Vomit at the fact she's getting 7 figures for doing this on TV

You forgot the worst parts.

It was stuffed with canned apple pie filling, and then corn nuts were sprinkled around the brown cool whip. Corn nuts.
Then she shoved a half-dozen full-sized taper candles in that hot mess, as if it was a pan-African menorah.

I watch her show all the time and I didn't realize it had anything to do with food.

ChubbyTiger: tlchwi02: ChubbyTiger: tlchwi02: Its like criticizing opera for its lack of explosions

You need to go to better operas, apparently.

/She is what she is, and that is annoying
//Her food is 50/50 for me
///Cute, though

yeah i thought of that right after posting- opera's do have explosions. i was kind of trying to make a michael bay thing, and it didn't really work.

i guess too i've met ms. ray on several occasions, and had her food on most of them. She's a nice person who enjoys what she does and yet on the internet people act as if she is some malicious person who has some SPECTRE worthy goal of destroying cooking. She's just a woman from the sticks who does cooking tv shows for middle aged home makers and people who want to cook stuff but don't always have the time to do everything but because she isn't a MASTER CHEF people slag her.

I think most people dislike her super-hyper personality more than anything else. Well, that and the fact that she won't sleep with us.

I'm not a fan of her personality. However, my wife has one of her books on how to make edible food stuffs in a short amount of time. A few of the recipes are good, more of them are good once, and the rest make me cringe just reading the recipes. However, if she would let me fark her in the ass and then to A2M, I'd cook every damn recipe in that book and I'd like.

MaxxLarge: Excen: jpo2269: What was wrong with this cake? Seriously, was there some type of hidden message I missed?

Let me condense the recipe for you:

1. Buy Angel Food Cake from Store
2. Thaw Cool Whip
3. Dye Cool Whip with Food Coloring
4. Spread Cool Whip on Store-Bought Cake
5. Sprinkle random holiday-looking crap on it
6. ????
7. Vomit at the fact she's getting 7 figures for doing this on TV

Bingo. Not to mention that there's the subtle undercurrent of racism to it, since there's a rich blonde white lady making a Kwanzaa cake with some seriously down-grade ingredients. I'd expect the same outrage if Paula Deen cut a watermelon in half, filled it full of Malt Liquor and Twinkies, and suggested it be served with Banquet Fried Chicken. "There! Is that easy and tasty enough for y'all?"

You can't get outraged over the class issue. For one thing, Sandra Lee didn't come from money at all. And everything she does involves seriously down-grade ingredients - the Kwanzaa cake is actually kind of luxe by Sandra Lee standards. It's all store-bought pre-packaged crap that she "creatively" slaps together in five minutes with the barest minimum of effort, and tries to sell as a "recipe" for busy people. This show is geared at alcoholic housewives who are too drunk/high on pills to make their own Jell-O successfully.

The bulk of the show's budget goes to Sandra Lee's "tablescapes", which usually look like a dollar store f*cked Michaels and birthed a retarded baby.

I am Ahab: DavidVincent: What authentic traditional Kwanzaa baked goods might look like.

/cue "that's racist" .gif

MythDragon: DavidVincent: What authentic traditional Kwanzaa baked goods might look like.

Don't forget the traditional Kwanzaa drink:

Shakespeare's Monkey: Don't forget this.

/mmmm Chanukah

LMAO

thanks for the laugh guys

tlchwi02: bighasbeen: Essentially that's what they all do: attempt to make x y, or z accessible to the average person or homemaker. It's just some of them (Rachel Ray and Sandra Lee) lower the bar as to what constitutes "homemaking". If you are a full time homemaker there is no excuse for needing cheesy shortcuts.

having children

If only there was somewhere to send your kids from 7:30 AM-3:00 PM everyday...

If you are a full time, doesn't work outside the home parent, there is no reason you should be cooking the things they make on a regular basis.

Oblig slo-mo Sandra Lee (new window)

Obnox: Oblig slo-mo Sandra Lee (new window)

Pure win!

+1

MaxxLarge: redacted

Huh. I guess we know Anthony Bourdain's FARK login, now.

Or is it just me?

jtown: Lanny Budd: "Thirteen months past and after exactly 151 recipes, I tried to fake my death."

Really? You a writer? Let me give you a free edit:

Thirteen months passed - and after exactly 151 recipes, I tried to fake my death.

Grammatically correct, but reads poorly due to too many commas.
Keep trying:

Thirteen months passed. And, after exactly 151 recipes, I tried to fake my own death.

(Unless you meant to add the /pet peeve close at the bottom.)

Lanny Budd: jtown: Lanny Budd: "Thirteen months past and after exactly 151 recipes, I tried to fake my death."

Really? You a writer? Let me give you a free edit:

Thirteen months passed - and after exactly 151 recipes, I tried to fake my death.


Keep trying:

Thirteen months passed. And, after exactly 151 recipes, I tried to fake my own death.

(Unless you meant to add the /pet peeve close at the bottom.)

Grammatically correct, but reads poorly due to too many commas.

(Edited for clarity, going against all that is Fark.)

Santa's Knee: Obnox: Oblig slo-mo Sandra Lee (new window)

Pure win!

+1

I swear if that clip went another 10 seconds, she turns into Charles Krauthammer.

Fresh baked racism

The entertaining part of her show (because it's so frightening) is how her wardrobe matches the kitchen decor, which matches the food. It's the same kitchen, but one day the drapes, dishes, and floral arrangements are purple, then the next show they're black and white, then pink, the red... I can't imagine being the set and wardrobe designer- first you have to find out what recipe she's making.

Anthony Bourdain describes her android-like personality accurately.

Barbara Walters interviewing Paula Deen: "You tell kids to have cheesecake for breakfast. You tell them to have chocolate cake and meatloaf for lunch. And french fries. Doesn't it bother you that you're adding to this?"

That is perfect.

bighasbeen: If only there was somewhere to send your kids from 7:30 AM-3:00 PM everyday...

If you are a full time, doesn't work outside the home parent, there is no reason you should be cooking the things they make on a regular basis.

the problem with that argument is that at the time you would be serving dinner, a lot of modern people are running around with sports/ballet/theatre/recital/etc/etc. You could counter argue that roasting and slow cooker stuff would work around this, but there's only so many roast chickens and pot roasts that a human being can consume before going crazy.

I actually used to usr her recipes a lot (didn't get home from work until 7:30pm at the earliest) but since my company instituted a work from home system i've been able to do more home made foods.

DIAF: ChubbyTiger: tlchwi02: ChubbyTiger: tlchwi02: Its like criticizing opera for its lack of explosions

You need to go to better operas, apparently.

/She is what she is, and that is annoying
//Her food is 50/50 for me
///Cute, though

yeah i thought of that right after posting- opera's do have explosions. i was kind of trying to make a michael bay thing, and it didn't really work.

i guess too i've met ms. ray on several occasions, and had her food on most of them. She's a nice person who enjoys what she does and yet on the internet people act as if she is some malicious person who has some SPECTRE worthy goal of destroying cooking. She's just a woman from the sticks who does cooking tv shows for middle aged home makers and people who want to cook stuff but don't always have the time to do everything but because she isn't a MASTER CHEF people slag her.

I think most people dislike her super-hyper personality more than anything else. Well, that and the fact that she won't sleep with us.

I'm not a fan of her personality. However, my wife has one of her books on how to make edible food stuffs in a short amount of time. A few of the recipes are good, more of them are good once, and the rest make me cringe just reading the recipes. However, if she would let me fark her in the ass and then to A2M, I'd cook every damn recipe in that book and I'd like.

This. Her food is really hit-or-miss. Some is good, most is edible, some is nauseating. As for the rest of your post: THIS.

Eirik: LowbrowDeluxe: Eirik: I must be confused about someone. I checked a picture of Lee and realized I was mixing her up with southern lady who cooks nothing if it doesn't have six sticks of butter. That lady seems nice to everyone but my cardiovascular system. Who the heck was I thinking about?

Paula Deen, the queen of Haaayyyymmm. I swear she can turn 'ham' into a six syllable word. Also, I've been to her restaurant. The cheap one, not the really really good one. It was good, though.

Did they deep fry everything in butter?

/Not that there is anything wrong with that
//If her restaurant were anywhere near me, I'd probably go to lunch there today.
///Then to the cardiologist.
////With a huge smile on my face.

At Lady & Sons, the first thing the servers did was plop down a fried corncake on each person's (paper) placemat. It was kind of hilarious to watch the oil seep out and ruin half the placemat before we even got to drink orders.

/SCAD alumni, 2006.

GladGirl: Boobiesontheside: Minus the corn nuts, the pie filling and the candles that cake looks pretty good.

Aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

Well, Abe and I really liked the first part.

From the Urban Dictionary:

1. sandra lee

A woman who cooks nasty ass food with canned crap on the food channel and who also drinks way too much booze for her own good

1:Did you see sandra lee last night?
2:Nah, did she make anything good?
1:fark no, but she did make a drink with watermelon schnapps.
2:who the fark drinks watermelon schnapps.
1:homeless dudes and sandra lee.

As long as we're being superficial about her and Giada Delaboobies, how have we gotten this far without mentioning Aida Mollenkamp? She could serve hot death, and I'd gladly eat it for the chance to look at her.

Lanny Budd: Lanny Budd: jtown: Lanny Budd: "Thirteen months past and after exactly 151 recipes, I tried to fake my death."

Really? You a writer? Let me give you a free edit:

Thirteen months passed - and after exactly 151 recipes, I tried to fake my death.


Keep trying:

Thirteen months passed. And, after exactly 151 recipes, I tried to fake my own death.

(Unless you meant to add the /pet peeve close at the bottom.)

Grammatically correct, but reads poorly due to too many commas.

(Edited for clarity, going against all that is Fark.)

Actually, I think people around here need to re-familiarize themselves with a little thing called the compound sentence. The "and" is a dead giveaway. Also, maybe brushing up on prepositional phrases might be a good idea, too.

EffervescingElephant: even Alton Brown has a degree in drama from the University of Georgia
and graduated New England Culinary Institute
sandra's bio reads like a TV saleswoman

Because that's exactly what she is - a TV saleswoman. Her entire career is based on being a successful TV personality. From wiki:

In the early 1990s, Lee created a product called "Sandra Lee Kraft Kurtains", a home decorating tool that used a wire rack and sheets or other fabric samples to create decorative drapery. The product was sold via infomercials and cable shopping networks. Home-shopping network QVC hired her as on-air talent

She has absolutely no talent for cooking or mixing cocktails.

hailin: Hmmm, I'm curious as to why this cake is that bad. The applies sound kind of gross and the candles are obnoxious, but the frosting seems like it would be tasty. Why did this turn into such a huge deal?

I guess I miss the point entirely.

Let me quote the redoubtable Anthony Bourdain:

" The most terrifying thing I've seen is her making a Kwanzaa cake. Watch that clip and tell me your eyeballs don't burst into flames. It's a war crime on television. You'll scream."

Obnox: Oblig slo-mo Sandra Lee (new window)

I can't stop laughing.

wheresourfish: Lanny Budd: Lanny Budd: jtown: Lanny Budd: "Thirteen months past and after exactly 151 recipes, I tried to fake my death."

Really? You a writer? Let me give you a free edit:

Thirteen months passed - and after exactly 151 recipes, I tried to fake my death.


Keep trying:

Thirteen months passed. And, after exactly 151 recipes, I tried to fake my own death.

(Unless you meant to add the /pet peeve close at the bottom.)

Grammatically correct, but reads poorly due to too many commas.

(Edited for clarity, going against all that is Fark.)

Actually, I think people around here need to re-familiarize themselves with a little thing called the compound sentence. The "and" is a dead giveaway. Also, maybe brushing up on prepositional phrases might be a good idea, too.

I totally agree with you, but the larger point here is that good, readable writing often cuts the corners of strict construction.

It is related to my observation that people who go to writer's conferences and major in creative writing and teach literature create the most beautiful yet empty prose.

Obnox: Oblig slo-mo Sandra Lee (new window)

That was awesome, as was the tagline under the video:

"Sandra Lee perhaps misjudges how delicious her concoction of lemonade, heavy cream, and vodka is going to be. Frame by frame, her face tells the story."

I watch Food Network almost daily (anything Bobby Flay or Alton Brown; they are my favorites) but I've always detested Sandra Lee.

This is the first I've heard of this dreadful you-gotta-be-kidding-me Kwanzaa cake.

Who watches her show? It's been on for years, so somebody must.

bobbette: usually look like a dollar store f*cked Michaels and birthed a retarded baby.

THIS seems, tragically and inexplicably, overlooked by your audience. Thus, it is repeated here in an attempt to garner more attention.

*Awesome*.

MaxxLarge: The word on the street, culled from a variety of sources:

Interesting. I'd certainly buy most of it. Couldn't stand Flay until he started doing that challenge program and obviously intentionally throwing the competitions... my dislike has softened a bit, I must admit. I also wonder how many people who have a low opinion of Ramsay have only seen him on the horrible Fox shows vs. the BBC stuff where he's much more impressive and rational....

I watch for the tablescapes - I need a good laugh every now and again.

She changed into different costumes during her Halloween special - it was hysterical. My husband put off doing some work just to see what the next costume would look like, so the show is great for a few laughs.

I remember watching the Kwanzaa cake when it aired and being mildly horrified.

A recap of the Halloween episode. I laughed my way through the show. It was fantastically bad.

Obnox: Oblig slo-mo Sandra Lee (new window)

Hilarious. I've never seen that one before.

/Funny how her eyes get all watery.