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(Cracked)   The four most irresponsible sex advice books of all time   (cracked.com) divider line 59
    More: Amusing, IOU, masseuses, wet dreams, single swing, Indian food, Pizza Hut, biological weapons, Ben & Jerry  
•       •       •

24960 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Dec 2010 at 11:05 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



59 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-12-16 11:07:59 AM  
Omg, my wife owns all of those!
 
2010-12-16 11:09:22 AM  
List fails, no Bible.
 
2010-12-16 11:11:09 AM  
I bet if Cracked had a list of two items they'd put it on two separate pages.
 
2010-12-16 11:11:50 AM  
i.crackedcdn.com

/there's good naked
//and bad naked
 
2010-12-16 11:11:53 AM  
I'm thinking anything coauthored by subby's mom.
 
2010-12-16 11:14:53 AM  
"They're so accustomed to it that if you sit on a whoopee cushion near them they have a simultaneous orgasm and squirt hot dog water.

Bleh.
 
2010-12-16 11:16:25 AM  
This is a boring, poorly written comment about a boring, poorly written article about some boring, poorly written books.
 
2010-12-16 11:16:51 AM  
And of course, the BEST SEX BOOK OF ALL TIME!

www.chrismasto.com
 
2010-12-16 11:17:15 AM  
at work, no Cracked, can someone please post

/always time for a good(or bad) sex thread
 
2010-12-16 11:17:42 AM  
That's some good, old-fashioned internet snark right there.
 
2010-12-16 11:19:15 AM  
I like Cracked stuff for the most part but Seanbaby articles are painful to read. It feels so forced and you can tell he is trying his best to be funny but it isn't working at all.
 
2010-12-16 11:19:34 AM  
images2.memegenerator.net

images2.memegenerator.net

images1.memegenerator.net

images1.memegenerator.net

images1.memegenerator.net
 
2010-12-16 11:19:56 AM  
"Dear Wife, The only thing that sickens me more than your pedestrian concept of romance is my willingness to indulge you in it."

I lol'd so hard - thanks subby
 
2010-12-16 11:20:09 AM  
Bloody hell, if Cracked had an article about a single item, they'd manage to put it on two pages.

/ad-whoring
 
2010-12-16 11:23:41 AM  
Seanbaby is hit and miss.

This one was a miss.
 
2010-12-16 11:25:34 AM  
tuffsnake rules! ha ha ha
 
2010-12-16 11:27:24 AM  
Can't access the website...

...are the collected works of Freud on the list?

/Not really sex advice, but still...
 
2010-12-16 11:28:21 AM  
Conspicuously missing: every issue of Cosmo
 
2010-12-16 11:28:46 AM  
bride_of_adam_cole: I like Cracked stuff for the most part but Seanbaby articles are painful to read. It feels so forced and you can tell he is trying his best to be funny but it isn't working at all.

Really? He usually cracks me up, especially the articles where he vivisects the advice books.

I'm at work and can't get to Cracked, so I'm a second vote for any reposting being appreciated.
 
2010-12-16 11:30:23 AM  
Voiceofreason01: at work, no Cracked, can someone please post

/always time for a good(or bad) sex thread


Here's the short version:

blah blah GODEK blah GODEK blah blah GODEK repeat.

This guy loves his own name more than... well, anything.
 
2010-12-16 11:30:58 AM  
Those coupons are a great idea if they were transferable.
 
2010-12-16 11:31:14 AM  
Except for the part about using the coupon in the restaurant, that was something less than funny.
 
2010-12-16 11:34:20 AM  
NationalHero: tuffsnake rules! ha ha ha

t0.gstatic.com

t0.gstatic.com

t0.gstatic.com

t1.gstatic.com
 
2010-12-16 11:35:55 AM  
I'm just glad they found a way to make an article about four books get split into two pages. Wooo Cracked!
 
2010-12-16 11:38:03 AM  
If one or both of you isn't very flexible the Kama Sutra
 
2010-12-16 11:38:57 AM  
FTFA: Released in 2009 for $5.99, this book is a collection of 22 coupons you tear out and give to your lover. They're exactly like the chore coupons we all gave our mothers when we were seven, only less erotic.

So the coupons from this book are less erotic than the chore coupons we all gave our mothers? Either we were bigger perverts as children than most of us probably thought or the author needs to learn how to write.
 
2010-12-16 11:40:35 AM  
Then again, the author could just be sarcastic. I suppose given the source that's probably just as likely.
 
2010-12-16 11:55:39 AM  
I was expecting "The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure: a Child-lover's Code of Conduct" to be on the list.
 
2010-12-16 11:58:35 AM  
FTA: "No wonder your wife's idea of a climax is watching you apologize from wet underwear."

Leeeetle bit harsh there, brother. Funny, but harsh.
 
2010-12-16 11:59:36 AM  
People still read cracked?
 
2010-12-16 11:59:52 AM  
Kryllith: FTFA: Released in 2009 for $5.99, this book is a collection of 22 coupons you tear out and give to your lover. They're exactly like the chore coupons we all gave our mothers when we were seven, only less erotic.

So the coupons from this book are less erotic than the chore coupons we all gave our mothers? Either we were bigger perverts as children than most of us probably thought or the author needs to learn how to write.


Kryllith: Then again, the author could just be sarcastic. I suppose given the source that's probably just as likely.

[THATSTHEJOKE.jpg]
 
2010-12-16 12:01:44 PM  
knowyourmeme.com

Kryllith: FTFA: Released in 2009 for $5.99, this book is a collection of 22 coupons you tear out and give to your lover. They're exactly like the chore coupons we all gave our mothers when we were seven, only less erotic.

So the coupons from this book are less erotic than the chore coupons we all gave our mothers?


The author's sentence is humourous because he is implying the coupons do not simply fail to be erotic, but that they fail so catastrophically that they generate an atmosphere of anti-eroticism. He postulates that ordinary things not normally considered erotic must therefore be more erotic than these coupons. His penultimate statement uses humour through disproportionate juxtaposition by comparing the anti-erotic coupons with pefectly ordinary (and therefore more erotic) gifts you have given to your mother, leaving the reader to explore the Oedipal implications of both giving, and not having given, such coupons as a gift in a situation clearly not intended to be in any way erotic.
 
2010-12-16 12:04:34 PM  
Thelyphthoric: Voiceofreason01: at work, no Cracked, can someone please post

/always time for a good(or bad) sex thread

Here's the short version:

blah blah GODEK blah GODEK blah blah GODEK repeat.

This guy loves his own name more than... well, anything.


You don't read very well, do you? Godek is the guy he's making fun of.
 
2010-12-16 12:07:59 PM  
Y'all are harsh.

"At least three hours? Am I dating a girl with no hobbies and two backup vaginas or am I just stuck in an uncooperative hot tub drain?"

I loled.
 
2010-12-16 12:21:21 PM  
Since I'm Crackedblocked at work did they include the coffee table book "Show Me!" on the list? It was a coffee table book of nude photography with underaged and adult models, sold on the premise that kids should see what other people look like naked at all ages of sexual development to satisfy their curiosity. Apparently it was very popular among pedophiles.
 
2010-12-16 12:28:45 PM  
Flakeloaf: Kryllith: FTFA: Released in 2009 for $5.99, this book is a collection of 22 coupons you tear out and give to your lover. They're exactly like the chore coupons we all gave our mothers when we were seven, only less erotic.

So the coupons from this book are less erotic than the chore coupons we all gave our mothers?

The author's sentence is humourous because he is implying the coupons do not simply fail to be erotic, but that they fail so catastrophically that they generate an atmosphere of anti-eroticism. He postulates that ordinary things not normally considered erotic must therefore be more erotic than these coupons. His penultimate statement uses humour through disproportionate juxtaposition by comparing the anti-erotic coupons with pefectly ordinary (and therefore more erotic) gifts you have given to your mother, leaving the reader to explore the Oedipal implications of both giving, and not having given, such coupons as a gift in a situation clearly not intended to be in any way erotic.


Hi Seanbaby. Wondered what your login was...
 
2010-12-16 12:33:23 PM  
I honestly expected to see this
i167.photobucket.com
 
2010-12-16 12:34:19 PM  
This article was bad, and the writer should feel bad.
 
2010-12-16 12:39:53 PM  
When did seanbaby start writing like a lonely late 30's feminist?
Seriously took a double take on the "my girlfriend" had to scroll up and see who wrote this.
 
2010-12-16 12:41:38 PM  
Voiceofreason01: Conspicuously missing: every issue of Cosmo

THIS.
Yes.
Thank you.

Dear Ladies:

If you find an article about "n Ways To Please Your Man" or "How To Put Him In The Mood" or "Male Sex Secrets That Will Help You Drive Your Man Wild" and it is authored by a woman, then chances are it's not worth your time to read it.

A big hint that you're being steered in the wrong direction is if the article mentions anything about soft lighting, candles, or flower petals. These are things you want, and the article is pandering to you.
 
2010-12-16 12:52:40 PM  
The articles "author" writes
"Despite its 137 pages, it has less actual content than a tampon applicator"
and tells how bad Godeks ideas are.
And yet he reprints almost the whole foocking body of Godeks work in place of generating any original content of his own.

If I copypasta the article here and say "It sucks" can I write for Cracked too?

If Godek is so bad, don't reprint it and try to con us into reading it.
 
2010-12-16 01:06:53 PM  
Seanbaby was great more than 10 years ago:
We ate the prom! (new window)

Now, not so much, but there's no denying he's part of internet history due to fatchicksinpartyhats!
 
2010-12-16 01:17:43 PM  
"Godek was an illegal bioweapons project by bitter, unlaid scientists to create a G.enetic O.rganism D.esigned for E.rection K.illing. G.O.D.E.K. throws out dating advice in the same way your body might throw out three pounds of uncooked meat."

Seanbaby is still awesome. Haters are irrelephant. :D
 
2010-12-16 01:19:32 PM  
I think seanbaby's true aim in life is to get as many people fired as possible.

/Today would have been my day, were the boss not snowbound at home.
 
2010-12-16 01:26:08 PM  
Boring, not irresponsible.

/yawn
 
2010-12-16 01:39:57 PM  
IAMTHEINTARWEBS: The articles "author" writes
"Despite its 137 pages, it has less actual content than a tampon applicator"
and tells how bad Godeks ideas are.
And yet he reprints almost the whole foocking body of Godeks work in place of generating any original content of his own.

If I copypasta the article here and say "It sucks" can I write for Cracked too?

If Godek is so bad, don't reprint it and try to con us into reading it.


I'm right there with you. If it works out for you, let me know. I'm sure I can spare one minute a day to send something in to Cracked for publishing.

Sounds to me like he's jealous of Godek's (relative) success. The books are sophomoric, not irresponsible.
 
2010-12-16 01:45:33 PM  
Seanbaby can write all the crappy articles he wants and still be my hero. He wrote this astonishing article and made me choke with laughter for 30 minutes straight, and for that I forever owe him my gratitude.
 
2010-12-16 01:54:06 PM  
Voiceofreason01: Conspicuously missing: every issue of Cosmo

"Cosmo said youd like it..."

"Well cosmo was written by women, find a magazine with dick sucking tips written by a gay guy."
 
2010-12-16 02:26:14 PM  
If you are, have, or ever plan to have sex with anybody of any gender in any relationship format, you need to have read The Guide to Getting It On. Your local library might have a copy if you aren't in the Bible Belt/really small town.

Informative, logical, and constantly putting out new editions to keep up with current information on STDs/sexual statistics.

That is all.
 
2010-12-16 02:54:52 PM  
I have Shepherd Moons
 
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