My nuts roasting in an x-ray scanner...
Some guy gripping at my balls.
Next time I fly, there's tin foil in my pants:
let them freak out, for the lulz.

Chestnuts resting in an open hand...

If some guy cradles my sack while singing FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA, he is gonna get pee'd on...

We're spreading more* than just holiday cheer

*asses, tits, and labes

No, this would just piss me off. I'm already waiting in line and you have more agents who could make things faster but you're spending my money to have them sing to me.


And I don't like piped in Xmas music either.

Dashing through the snow
I hope to board my plane
The TSA dude says no
Laughing all the way (ha ha ha)

My balls put in a sling
Make my jaw clench tight
Oh what a sport to random search
A passenger tonight

We'll grab your balls with wild abandonment! Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la.

Don't quote us the Fourth Amendment! Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la.

You waived your rights when you came through the gate. Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la.

If it's for safety, it's not rape. Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la!

I've never thought of myself as the kind of guy to just walk up and deck someone for no apparent reason
.... until I read this article.

I suppose the right combination of circumstances can do things to anyone. And this scenario has real potential.

They can sing this song (new window).

Well, rest ye merry travellers
let nothing you dismay
remember that your safety
is in the hands of the TSA

Scanning and checking all the threats
(or, the girls we'd like to lay)

OH-oh lineups of nudity and grope
nudity grope
Oh-oh lineups of nudity and grope

I'm not sure why, but this makes me dislike them even more.

FTFA

Members of the LAX TSA Choir are volunteers who practice and perform on their time off


17 all scheduled off together = overstaffed

/thinks article lies
//need to see timecards

you get me up you'll get me off whether you want to or not

Jingle balls, jingle balls
I think I'm turning gay!
Oh what fun it is to fly
With my rights taken away!

Pawing through my pants
He just touched my balls
I want to yell and rant
And then maybe make some calls

But I can't miss my flight
And I can't go to jail
So my lips keep tight
About this giant fail!

Oh jingle balls jingle balls...

Not deliberately trying to Godwin this, but when I read TFA about TSA christmas choirs, the first image I got was the happy Nazis singing in "Springtime for Hitler"

It's more of a "lift and separate" than a cradling.

/Either way, it's all good as long as the TSA chick doing it is hot.
//Which means it'll never be good.

They almost got the headline right themselves...

TSA choir has holiday spirit pat down at LAX

Calmamity: I don't know about warming my heart, Mr. Gate Raper, but you're certainly warming my cockles.

Diogenes: Away in a scanner
No shielding of lead
The little waves causing
Large tumors in head

En fuego.

+1

This makes everything okay

DECK my balls with rubber gloves
fa lala lala, la la la la

Because abusing the people at the bottom will impact the people at the top?

Don't be an asshole to the TSA agents, just write your god damn elected officials and make your vote your voice.

You think they like doing this shiat?

TheNewJesus: Because abusing the people at the bottom will impact the people at the top?

Don't be an asshole to the TSA agents, just write your god damn elected officials and make your vote your voice.

You think they like doing this shiat?

23% of them do.

Then he smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum
At me and my bum.

Thirty comments in a TSA thread already and no sign of Bathia_Mapes, Fizics, or PrinceofFark?

They must be off fondling balls somewhere.

Damitalltohell, I've traveled several times by air and not once did I get picked for groping or a scan, Damitalltohell.
I wonder if I proclaim that I'm gay (I'm not) and would prefer a female pat me down if they would agree? Huuuuummmm, never mind, I'll go thru the scanner and let them see that I'm hung like a stud fieldmouse, that will show them!

♫ No gels, No gels, No gels, No gels ♫
♫ Especially if you're flying to Is-rael ♫

You mean government workers are singing Christmas songs?
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.
What nerve forcing their religious beliefs on unsuspecting passengers.

TSA says they are going to crack down on the invasive pat-downs. In fact, one agent was transferred to another parish...

Psychohazard: Then he smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum
At me and my bum.

Win, much, much win.

I would love to see a time audit to see if they are actually off the clock. I am betting they are getting paid regardless of what they claim.

On the tenth day of Christmas my Screener gave to me
A double-fisted UTFIA!!!

Nothing says holiday spirit like being groped to the feisty melody of "Feliz Navidad."

TheNewJesus: Don't be an asshole to the TSA agents, just write your god damn elected officials and make your vote your voice.

A million times THIS.

Poorboytech2000: If some guy cradles my sack while singing FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA, he is gonna get pee'd on...

You're falling right into his trap!

vudukungfu: TheNewJesus: Don't be an asshole to the TSA agents, just write your god damn elected officials and make your vote your voice.

A million times THIS.

why not both? if a man is order to grope another man perhaps he should tell his boss to fark off. just following orders is always a shiatty excuse.

oh and FARK THE TSA!!

/stupid, worthless, but expensive security theater
//fark the homeland security industrial complex