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Headline of the Year contest update, and Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 12/5 - 12/11 
Posted by Drew at 2010-12-14 11:46:07 AM (41 comments) | Permalink
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From Unfreakable

It's mid-December, which means we're running our annual Headline of the Year contest, where we take a bunch of our favorites and let you vote on the ones you think are most deserving of the honor.

Yesterday we ran the initial mainpage thread for Headline of the Year - first quarter, which was the top-voted headlines for January through March. Voting is still open for that one if you missed it. The top five as voted will go to the final contest.

For the TFers, there are three active voting threads still open for April, May, and June, and those are gonna close tonight so that we can put up the next thread tomorrow on the main page.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-12-05 to Sat 2010-12-11:

www.fark.com  TSA fails to stop terrier attack    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Two Gentlemen of Verona called out for a Taming of the Shrew after two bridesmaids got into a Tempest, making Much Ado About Nothing and turning the reception into a Comedy of Errors. All's Well That Ends Well    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Family crash car while carrying bucket of paint. They're all-white, but a bit overcome with emulsion    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  NYC officials bust up a pot, coke, meth and LSD ring operating out of a Columbia University frat house. Unclear if the raid was named "Operation Shooting Fish in a Barrel"    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Philadelphia: Catholic Archdiocese creates panel to look at school children. I mean, to learn how to entice more children. I mean, in school. I mean, "into" school. I mean, "into going to Catholic school." For education    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Band teacher in hot water for playing in A minor    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Police enter closed strip club and find several men inside claiming to be plumbers. That must explain why they had their caulk in their hands    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Texas to build experimental green community. Key components include guns made from recycled material and sustainably grown Skoal    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Six children hurt in La school when el car crashed into it    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Custer's battle flag auctioned for $2 million. Sadly, it represents the last win for the Indians until the 1920 World Series    img.fark.net


Sports:

www.fark.com  Blatter says FIFA isn't corrupt, it just needs to improve its image. Qatar seen handing Blatter a briefcase stuffed with image improvement    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Toronto Maple Leafs upset that someone threw waffles onto the ice during a game. In other news, the waffles beat the Maple Leafs 7-2    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Cam Newton awarded temporary custody of Heisman Trophy    img.fark.net


Geek:

www.fark.com  Google releases the keyboard design for Chrome OS without a Caps Lock key. RADICALS OF THE CHURCH OF BILLY MAYS DECLARE HOLY WAR    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  How big something appears to you depends on the size of the brain area necessary for vision - as well as the size of her hands    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Bone fragment believed to be from Amelia Earhart discovered on remote Pacific Island. However, some don't think it's her atoll    img.fark.net


Showbiz:

www.fark.com  Leslie Nielsen had an entirely different kind of funeral. Altogether    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Jennifer Lopez becomes the face, giant ass of L'Oreal    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Natalie Portman strips down to her garter and negligee and I could now post my social security number and PIN number and mother's maiden name and nobody would ever read it    img.fark.net


Politics:

www.fark.com  According to the governor of Kentucky, supporting the Noah's Ark theme park with tax incentives is no different than supporting NASCAR. Patently ridiculous, of course, since this action represents a hard turn to the right    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Israel ends trade ban on furniture and textile exports from Gaza. Palestinians complain that what they really need is to be allowed to import construction goods, but Israel's continued anti-cementism forbids it    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Detroit to offer incentives for residents to relocate. Within the city. Damn, there's always a catch    img.fark.net


Music:

www.fark.com  Jim Morrison to be pardoned today. Come on baby right my prior    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Susan Boyle returns to No. 1 spot, all-you-can-eat buffet    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Hacker might have stolen Ke$ha nude pics. KEEP THEM    img.fark.net


Business:

www.fark.com  Counterfeit stamps are costing the US Postal Service half dozens of dollars every few years    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  Moody's downgrades Hungary to Starving    img.fark.net

www.fark.com  IKEA gave bonus of a bicycle to every one of its 12,400 U.S. employees. Most likely arrived in a box with three dented corners, missing several parts and with instructions in eight different languages    img.fark.net
· · ·
(view entire blog)


41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
 
2010-12-14 03:10:49 AM
Something that Drew wanted me to pass along today, aside from the Headline of the Year stuff, is a quick note from him on the Fark Shop at the top of the page. Here's what he said:

Sup everyone. We added a Fark Shop to the site, you may have noticed.

For literally years we've tried to do some kind of merchandise and for whatever reason it's never worked out. Mostly because it's pretty much not what we do. I don't know a damn thing about it. Odds are that played some kind of role.

The kind folks at Neatorama approached me about a month ago asking if they could take over that part of the site for us. Aside from linking to Neatorama on a semi-regular basis, I've personally been reading their website for something like 15 years now. Great folks.

They're calling it the Neatoshop. The idea is take a large inventory of stuff, see what people on a given website purchase, then calibrate it so that it has more stuff that people like. At least that's my understanding, I do drink a lot.

At any rate, check it out, let me know if we can fix anything that is broke, looks bad, or a dumb idea. Comments always appreciated. Thanks!

- Drew
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2010-12-14 12:18:14 PM
Band teacher in hot water for playing in A minor

An amusing pun if used sparingly, but it's been done and isn't really headline of the ___ material.

Natalie Portman strips down to her garter and negligee and I could now post my social security number and PIN number and mother's maiden name and nobody would ever read it

I think I was the one to start down the road to this style back in 2005 with: "If lesbian Lisa marries Janet in Vermont while living in Virginia and has a baby and moves to Vermont and back to Virginia to renounce homosexuality and divorces in Vermont, does anyone read this tagline past the word 'lesbian'?" (1654680). (Prior to admin editing it ended "...you stopped reading at 'lesbian', didn't you?" Same principle.)

Anybody have older prior art? It's entirely possible I unconsciously borrowed from one of a million headlines that came before.
 
2010-12-14 12:32:30 PM
I'll take Ke$ha nude pics. Once you've seen one pair, you want to see them all.

I'll put my top 3 favorite at Archdiocese, strip club plumbers, and Custer's battle flag.

All were pretty good though.

ZAZ sounds bitter
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2010-12-14 12:39:23 PM
Right my prior is my favorite. I liked Shakespeare, atoll, el car. Maybe terrier attack. Missed several on the list when they went green. I also did really badly on the weekly Fark quiz so I probably spent too much time working recently.
 
2010-12-14 01:47:01 PM
Posted by Drew

From Unfreakable


You'd think this would be an easy problem to fix.
 
2010-12-14 01:49:52 PM
Donald_McRonald: You'd think this would be an easy problem to fix.

I don't have my own blog, and Drew is traveling today, so I put up this posting. That particular part "Posted by Drew" is built into the blog layout. I didn't want to trouble a root admin for something so minor.
 
2010-12-14 02:01:04 PM
Where in the fark is the Jim Morrison "Come on baby right my prior" headline?
 
2010-12-14 02:03:14 PM
Guns n' Farkin Roses: Where in the fark is the Jim Morrison "Come on baby right my prior" headline?

Music
 
2010-12-14 02:03:59 PM
Nevermind, I see it. It still should have been in the above section IMO.
 
2010-12-14 02:07:43 PM
man that leslie nielsen funeral thread has to win the thread of the year award :P
 
2010-12-14 02:08:39 PM
Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try Nailing him down

www.funnypictures.co.nz

/blasphemy
//blasphe-you
///blasphe-everyone in the room
 
2010-12-14 02:12:18 PM
Unfreakable: Drew is traveling today

*snerk*

Sorry. I've spent too much time in the Politics tab.
 
2010-12-14 02:12:48 PM
ZAZ: Natalie Portman strips down to her garter and negligee and I could now post my social security number and PIN number and mother's maiden name and nobody would ever read it

I think I was the one to start down the road to this style back in 2005 with: "If lesbian Lisa marries Janet in Vermont while living in Virginia and has a baby and moves to Vermont and back to Virginia to renounce homosexuality and divorces in Vermont, does anyone read this tagline past the word 'lesbian'?" (1654680). (Prior to admin editing it ended "...you stopped reading at 'lesbian', didn't you?" Same principle.)


Personally, the variation I love best is when the rest of the headline refer to straight women and gay men plotting world domination.
 
2010-12-14 02:14:18 PM
What about that one with Jose' Felliciano singing
RightmypriorRightmypriorRightmypriorRightmypriorRightmypriorRightmypriorRightmy p riorRightmypriorRightmypriorRightmypriorRightmyprior?
 
2010-12-14 02:17:01 PM
I don't get it.
 
2010-12-14 02:18:01 PM
'Baby Jesus' is one of the best headlines in months. I'm jealous.
 
2010-12-14 02:18:05 PM
I think Florida's bong baby mommy should be in there, partly because I know the father of Bong Baby and tons of fun info about Bong Baby's mommy!
 
2010-12-14 02:48:08 PM
t0.gstatic.com

Right, my Pryor!
 
2010-12-14 03:08:34 PM
Barnstormer: Right, my Pryor!

hoooooo!! i loled loled loled. i wanted to stay out of this thread but i had to give you big ups for that. hilarious! teehee. thank you i will be giggling about that all day.
 
2010-12-14 03:09:32 PM
Barnstormer: Right, my Pryor!

do you mind if i shop that?
 
2010-12-14 03:17:38 PM
Please do. Its a gis for: Wilder Pryor
 
2010-12-14 03:20:45 PM
Is it just me, or has some minor variant on the "playing in A minor" headline been greenlit about 6 times already?
It was kinda funny the first time.
IT'S NO LONGER FUNNY AFTER YOU'VE SEEN IT SEVERAL TIMES.

/but nominates anti-cementism headline into the running for headline of the year
//and right my prior
 
2010-12-14 03:38:18 PM
obviously the morrison one is my favorite. leaving that out, my top three:


Moody's downgrades Hungary to Starving
TSA fails to stop terrier attack
Detroit to offer incentives for residents to relocate. Within the city. Damn, there's always a catch

I am a big believer in brevity being the soul of wit. I always aim to be as funny/clever in as few words as possible, and hopefully tell the story within those few words. I love the first two because you know what the story is without clicking on the link, and it's funny. that's really, really hard to do.

the second one is just so sly, and makes great use of punctuation so you hear yourself saying it in your head, which always helps the humor flow along.

for the record: my submission was actually just Come on baby, right my prior. No preliminary "Morrison to be pardoned today". I think that was superfluous and frankly wish the mods hadn't tweaked it. But I guess if I want to be in charge I'll need to go build my own damn news conglomerate website.

Anyway. The terrier one and the moody's one perfectly balanced brevity with wit with telling the story. My hat's off to those submitters! May the fark be with you.

love
nina
p.s. not editing, forgive typos please.
 
2010-12-14 04:14:07 PM
queenalice:

Your first green goes HOTW, how cool is that?!?!

Congrats!
 
2010-12-14 04:18:41 PM
Balchinian: queenalice:

Your first green goes HOTW, how cool is that?!?!

Congrats!


:D you were my first favorite. thanks for being nice to me and letting me eat lunch with you while the other kids threw spitballs.

i've gotten 2 other greens since then.. (well 2 I didn't have to pay for anyway.)
 
2010-12-14 04:29:02 PM
Right my prior has to be one of the best of the year if not HOTY.
 
2010-12-14 05:33:32 PM
Is very glad to see the anti-cementism headline made the cut

/subby
 
2010-12-14 05:39:10 PM
DammitIForgotMyLogin: Is very glad to see the anti-cementism headline made the cut

/subby


as am i. if you recall, i was the Weenerser, +1ed before it even went green. nice job!
 
2010-12-14 05:40:13 PM
so you're never allowed to say the words...um..."farst comenter"...like...ever? ever ever?

well. anyway. congratulations fammitiforgotmylogin. i lol'ed hard and long. like a hard, long, weenerser.
 
2010-12-14 08:24:17 PM
Dangit, queenalice a HOTW and two greens in one day? You are en fuego!
 
2010-12-14 08:41:30 PM
OtherLittleGuy: Dangit, queenalice a HOTW and two greens in one day? You are en fuego!

the ones that got greened were low hanging fruit. the only one i'm proud of is the morrison one. but thanks my friend.
 
2010-12-15 03:05:59 AM
Yup, right my prior wins the week and puts the H in HOTY for me. Well done queenalice.
 
2010-12-15 07:09:17 AM
I thought it was already decided last week that the Jim Morrison headline was the best ever of all time.
 
2010-12-15 07:48:50 AM
PDX Ghost Hunter: I thought it was already decided last week that the Jim Morrison headline was the best ever of all time.

I was wondering when you'd show up. :D
 
2010-12-15 07:55:17 AM
queenalice: PDX Ghost Hunter: I thought it was already decided last week that the Jim Morrison headline was the best ever of all time.

I was wondering when you'd show up. :D


On second thought, I'm betting you're probably not the type to pull the emoticons out for. Just wanted to let you know I come in peace.

/shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill
//obscure? i hope not.
 
2010-12-15 08:00:48 AM
queenalice: queenalice: PDX Ghost Hunter: I thought it was already decided last week that the Jim Morrison headline was the best ever of all time.

I was wondering when you'd show up. :D

On second thought, I'm betting you're probably not the type to pull the emoticons out for. Just wanted to let you know I come in peace.

/shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill
//obscure? i hope not.


It's worse than that. He's dead Jim, dead Jim, dead Jim.
 
2010-12-15 08:05:48 AM
DammitIForgotMyLogin: queenalice: queenalice: PDX Ghost Hunter: I thought it was already decided last week that the Jim Morrison headline was the best ever of all time.

I was wondering when you'd show up. :D

On second thought, I'm betting you're probably not the type to pull the emoticons out for. Just wanted to let you know I come in peace.

/shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill
//obscure? i hope not.

It's worse than that. He's dead Jim, dead Jim, dead Jim.


Oh god. Unintentional alley-oop on my part and you farking nailed it. (see what I did there?)

that's so good on so many different levels. My head might explode.

Farking standing O from me to you, sir. (madam?)

/clicking on profile now
 
2010-12-15 08:09:56 AM
DIDFML-- um. 3134?

farking hell.

i want to tell a story that perfectly relays how impressed i am, but i know of 19 or 20 people who will call me out as a star-farking name-dropping, attention-whoring, pathetic coont. So I'll just say- I'm humbled, impressed, and favoriting you immediately.
 
2010-12-15 08:18:35 AM
queenalice: DIDFML-- um. 3134?

farking hell.

i want to tell a story that perfectly relays how impressed i am, but i know of 19 or 20 people who will call me out as a star-farking name-dropping, attention-whoring, pathetic coont. So I'll just say- I'm humbled, impressed, and favoriting you immediately.


Now i'm both flattered and very intrigued by this story. Heh.

EIP :)
 
2010-12-15 08:22:24 AM
DammitIForgotMyLogin:
It's worse than that. He's dead Jim, dead Jim, dead Jim.



considering james was one of jesus' apostles, your comment just jumped to another level of greatness.
 
2010-12-15 03:05:02 PM

ZAZ:
.
.
.
I think I was the one to start down the road to this style back in 2005 with: "If lesbian Lisa marries Janet in Vermont while living in Virginia and has a baby and moves to Vermont and back to Virginia to renounce homosexuality and divorces in Vermont, does anyone read this tagline past the word 'lesbian'?" (1654680). (Prior to admin editing it ended "...you stopped reading at 'lesbian', didn't you?" Same principle.)


Somebody needs a hug.
 
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