FARK.com: Blog (Unfreakable): Headline of the Year contest update, and Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 12/5

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Headline of the Year contest update, and Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 12/5 - 12/11
Posted by Drew at 2010-12-14 11:46:07 AM (41 comments) | Permalink

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From Unfreakable

It's mid-December, which means we're running our annual Headline of the Year contest, where we take a bunch of our favorites and let you vote on the ones you think are most deserving of the honor.

Yesterday we ran the initial mainpage thread for Headline of the Year - first quarter, which was the top-voted headlines for January through March. Voting is still open for that one if you missed it. The top five as voted will go to the final contest.

For the TFers, there are three active voting threads still open for April, May, and June, and those are gonna close tonight so that we can put up the next thread tomorrow on the main page.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-12-05 to Sat 2010-12-11:

TSA fails to stop terrier attack

Two Gentlemen of Verona called out for a Taming of the Shrew after two bridesmaids got into a Tempest, making Much Ado About Nothing and turning the reception into a Comedy of Errors. All's Well That Ends Well

Family crash car while carrying bucket of paint. They're all-white, but a bit overcome with emulsion

NYC officials bust up a pot, coke, meth and LSD ring operating out of a Columbia University frat house. Unclear if the raid was named "Operation Shooting Fish in a Barrel"

Philadelphia: Catholic Archdiocese creates panel to look at school children. I mean, to learn how to entice more children. I mean, in school. I mean, "into" school. I mean, "into going to Catholic school." For education

Band teacher in hot water for playing in A minor

Police enter closed strip club and find several men inside claiming to be plumbers. That must explain why they had their caulk in their hands

Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down

Texas to build experimental green community. Key components include guns made from recycled material and sustainably grown Skoal

Six children hurt in La school when el car crashed into it

Custer's battle flag auctioned for $2 million. Sadly, it represents the last win for the Indians until the 1920 World Series

Sports:

Blatter says FIFA isn't corrupt, it just needs to improve its image. Qatar seen handing Blatter a briefcase stuffed with image improvement

Toronto Maple Leafs upset that someone threw waffles onto the ice during a game. In other news, the waffles beat the Maple Leafs 7-2

Cam Newton awarded temporary custody of Heisman Trophy

Geek:

Google releases the keyboard design for Chrome OS without a Caps Lock key. RADICALS OF THE CHURCH OF BILLY MAYS DECLARE HOLY WAR

How big something appears to you depends on the size of the brain area necessary for vision - as well as the size of her hands

Bone fragment believed to be from Amelia Earhart discovered on remote Pacific Island. However, some don't think it's her atoll

Showbiz:

Leslie Nielsen had an entirely different kind of funeral. Altogether

Jennifer Lopez becomes the face, giant ass of L'Oreal

Natalie Portman strips down to her garter and negligee and I could now post my social security number and PIN number and mother's maiden name and nobody would ever read it

Politics:

According to the governor of Kentucky, supporting the Noah's Ark theme park with tax incentives is no different than supporting NASCAR. Patently ridiculous, of course, since this action represents a hard turn to the right

Israel ends trade ban on furniture and textile exports from Gaza. Palestinians complain that what they really need is to be allowed to import construction goods, but Israel's continued anti-cementism forbids it

Detroit to offer incentives for residents to relocate. Within the city. Damn, there's always a catch

Music:

Jim Morrison to be pardoned today. Come on baby right my prior

Susan Boyle returns to No. 1 spot, all-you-can-eat buffet

Hacker might have stolen Ke$ha nude pics. KEEP THEM

Business:

Counterfeit stamps are costing the US Postal Service half dozens of dollars every few years

Moody's downgrades Hungary to Starving

IKEA gave bonus of a bicycle to every one of its 12,400 U.S. employees. Most likely arrived in a box with three dented corners, missing several parts and with instructions in eight different languages

· · ·

(view entire blog)

41 Comments (+0 »)

Unfreakable		2010-12-14 03:10:49 AM

Something that Drew wanted me to pass along today, aside from the Headline of the Year stuff, is a quick note from him on the Fark Shop at the top of the page. Here's what he said:

Sup everyone. We added a Fark Shop to the site, you may have noticed.

For literally years we've tried to do some kind of merchandise and for whatever reason it's never worked out. Mostly because it's pretty much not what we do. I don't know a damn thing about it. Odds are that played some kind of role.

The kind folks at Neatorama approached me about a month ago asking if they could take over that part of the site for us. Aside from linking to Neatorama on a semi-regular basis, I've personally been reading their website for something like 15 years now. Great folks.

They're calling it the Neatoshop. The idea is take a large inventory of stuff, see what people on a given website purchase, then calibrate it so that it has more stuff that people like. At least that's my understanding, I do drink a lot.

At any rate, check it out, let me know if we can fix anything that is broke, looks bad, or a dumb idea. Comments always appreciated. Thanks!

- Drew

ZAZ		2010-12-14 12:18:14 PM

Band teacher in hot water for playing in A minor

An amusing pun if used sparingly, but it's been done and isn't really headline of the ___ material.

Natalie Portman strips down to her garter and negligee and I could now post my social security number and PIN number and mother's maiden name and nobody would ever read it

I think I was the one to start down the road to this style back in 2005 with: "If lesbian Lisa marries Janet in Vermont while living in Virginia and has a baby and moves to Vermont and back to Virginia to renounce homosexuality and divorces in Vermont, does anyone read this tagline past the word 'lesbian'?" (1654680). (Prior to admin editing it ended "...you stopped reading at 'lesbian', didn't you?" Same principle.)

Anybody have older prior art? It's entirely possible I unconsciously borrowed from one of a million headlines that came before.

Razorwolf		2010-12-14 12:32:30 PM

I'll take Ke$ha nude pics. Once you've seen one pair, you want to see them all.

I'll put my top 3 favorite at Archdiocese, strip club plumbers, and Custer's battle flag.

All were pretty good though.

ZAZ sounds bitter

ZAZ		2010-12-14 12:39:23 PM

Right my prior is my favorite. I liked Shakespeare, atoll, el car. Maybe terrier attack. Missed several on the list when they went green. I also did really badly on the weekly Fark quiz so I probably spent too much time working recently.

Donald_McRonald		2010-12-14 01:47:01 PM

Posted by Drew

From Unfreakable

You'd think this would be an easy problem to fix.

Unfreakable		2010-12-14 01:49:52 PM

Donald_McRonald: You'd think this would be an easy problem to fix.

I don't have my own blog, and Drew is traveling today, so I put up this posting. That particular part "Posted by Drew" is built into the blog layout. I didn't want to trouble a root admin for something so minor.

Guns n' Farkin Roses		2010-12-14 02:01:04 PM

Where in the fark is the Jim Morrison "Come on baby right my prior" headline?

Unfreakable		2010-12-14 02:03:14 PM

Guns n' Farkin Roses: Where in the fark is the Jim Morrison "Come on baby right my prior" headline?

Music

Guns n' Farkin Roses		2010-12-14 02:03:59 PM

Nevermind, I see it. It still should have been in the above section IMO.

gorauma		2010-12-14 02:07:43 PM

man that leslie nielsen funeral thread has to win the thread of the year award :P

HawgWild		2010-12-14 02:08:39 PM

Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try Nailing him down

www.funnypictures.co.nz

/blasphemy
//blasphe-you
///blasphe-everyone in the room

Pants full of macaroni!!		2010-12-14 02:12:18 PM

Unfreakable: Drew is traveling today

*snerk*

Sorry. I've spent too much time in the Politics tab.

OtherLittleGuy		2010-12-14 02:12:48 PM

ZAZ: Natalie Portman strips down to her garter and negligee and I could now post my social security number and PIN number and mother's maiden name and nobody would ever read it

I think I was the one to start down the road to this style back in 2005 with: "If lesbian Lisa marries Janet in Vermont while living in Virginia and has a baby and moves to Vermont and back to Virginia to renounce homosexuality and divorces in Vermont, does anyone read this tagline past the word 'lesbian'?" (1654680). (Prior to admin editing it ended "...you stopped reading at 'lesbian', didn't you?" Same principle.)

Personally, the variation I love best is when the rest of the headline refer to straight women and gay men plotting world domination.

vudukungfu		2010-12-14 02:14:18 PM

What about that one with Jose' Felliciano singing
RightmypriorRightmypriorRightmypriorRightmypriorRightmypriorRightmypriorRightmy p riorRightmypriorRightmypriorRightmypriorRightmyprior?

eqtworld		2010-12-14 02:17:01 PM

I don't get it.

Trivia Jockey		2010-12-14 02:18:01 PM

'Baby Jesus' is one of the best headlines in months. I'm jealous.

DJ_Ian_S		2010-12-14 02:18:05 PM

I think Florida's bong baby mommy should be in there, partly because I know the father of Bong Baby and tons of fun info about Bong Baby's mommy!

Barnstormer		2010-12-14 02:48:08 PM

Right, my Pryor!

queenalice		2010-12-14 03:08:34 PM

Barnstormer: Right, my Pryor!

hoooooo!! i loled loled loled. i wanted to stay out of this thread but i had to give you big ups for that. hilarious! teehee. thank you i will be giggling about that all day.

queenalice		2010-12-14 03:09:32 PM

Barnstormer: Right, my Pryor!

do you mind if i shop that?

Barnstormer		2010-12-14 03:17:38 PM

Please do. Its a gis for: Wilder Pryor

Procedural Texture		2010-12-14 03:20:45 PM

Is it just me, or has some minor variant on the "playing in A minor" headline been greenlit about 6 times already?
It was kinda funny the first time.
IT'S NO LONGER FUNNY AFTER YOU'VE SEEN IT SEVERAL TIMES.

_{/but nominates anti-cementism headline into the running for headline of the year
//and right my prior}

queenalice		2010-12-14 03:38:18 PM

obviously the morrison one is my favorite. leaving that out, my top three:

Moody's downgrades Hungary to Starving
TSA fails to stop terrier attack
Detroit to offer incentives for residents to relocate. Within the city. Damn, there's always a catch

I am a big believer in brevity being the soul of wit. I always aim to be as funny/clever in as few words as possible, and hopefully tell the story within those few words. I love the first two because you know what the story is without clicking on the link, and it's funny. that's really, really hard to do.

the second one is just so sly, and makes great use of punctuation so you hear yourself saying it in your head, which always helps the humor flow along.

for the record: my submission was actually just Come on baby, right my prior. No preliminary "Morrison to be pardoned today". I think that was superfluous and frankly wish the mods hadn't tweaked it. But I guess if I want to be in charge I'll need to go build my own damn news conglomerate website.

Anyway. The terrier one and the moody's one perfectly balanced brevity with wit with telling the story. My hat's off to those submitters! May the fark be with you.

love
nina
p.s. not editing, forgive typos please.

Balchinian		2010-12-14 04:14:07 PM

queenalice:

Your first green goes HOTW, how cool is that?!?!

Congrats!

queenalice		2010-12-14 04:18:41 PM

Balchinian: queenalice:

Your first green goes HOTW, how cool is that?!?!

Congrats!

:D you were my first favorite. thanks for being nice to me and letting me eat lunch with you while the other kids threw spitballs.

i've gotten 2 other greens since then.. (well 2 I didn't have to pay for anyway.)

ratesguy		2010-12-14 04:29:02 PM

Right my prior has to be one of the best of the year if not HOTY.

DammitIForgotMyLogin		2010-12-14 05:33:32 PM

Is very glad to see the anti-cementism headline made the cut

/subby

queenalice		2010-12-14 05:39:10 PM

DammitIForgotMyLogin: Is very glad to see the anti-cementism headline made the cut

/subby

as am i. if you recall, i was the Weenerser, +1ed before it even went green. nice job!

queenalice		2010-12-14 05:40:13 PM

so you're never allowed to say the words...um..."farst comenter"...like...ever? ever ever?

well. anyway. congratulations fammitiforgotmylogin. i lol'ed hard and long. like a hard, long, weenerser.

OtherLittleGuy		2010-12-14 08:24:17 PM

Dangit, queenalice a HOTW and two greens in one day? You are en fuego!

queenalice		2010-12-14 08:41:30 PM

OtherLittleGuy: Dangit, queenalice a HOTW and two greens in one day? You are en fuego!

the ones that got greened were low hanging fruit. the only one i'm proud of is the morrison one. but thanks my friend.

Masterdog		2010-12-15 03:05:59 AM

Yup, right my prior wins the week and puts the H in HOTY for me. Well done queenalice.

PDX Ghost Hunter		2010-12-15 07:09:17 AM

I thought it was already decided last week that the Jim Morrison headline was the best ever of all time.

queenalice		2010-12-15 07:48:50 AM

PDX Ghost Hunter: I thought it was already decided last week that the Jim Morrison headline was the best ever of all time.

I was wondering when you'd show up. :D

queenalice		2010-12-15 07:55:17 AM

queenalice: PDX Ghost Hunter: I thought it was already decided last week that the Jim Morrison headline was the best ever of all time.

I was wondering when you'd show up. :D

On second thought, I'm betting you're probably not the type to pull the emoticons out for. Just wanted to let you know I come in peace.

/shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill
//obscure? i hope not.

DammitIForgotMyLogin		2010-12-15 08:00:48 AM

queenalice: queenalice: PDX Ghost Hunter: I thought it was already decided last week that the Jim Morrison headline was the best ever of all time.

I was wondering when you'd show up. :D

On second thought, I'm betting you're probably not the type to pull the emoticons out for. Just wanted to let you know I come in peace.

/shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill
//obscure? i hope not.

It's worse than that. He's dead Jim, dead Jim, dead Jim.

queenalice		2010-12-15 08:05:48 AM

DammitIForgotMyLogin: queenalice: queenalice: PDX Ghost Hunter: I thought it was already decided last week that the Jim Morrison headline was the best ever of all time.

I was wondering when you'd show up. :D

On second thought, I'm betting you're probably not the type to pull the emoticons out for. Just wanted to let you know I come in peace.

/shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill
//obscure? i hope not.

It's worse than that. He's dead Jim, dead Jim, dead Jim.

Oh god. Unintentional alley-oop on my part and you farking nailed it. (see what I did there?)

that's so good on so many different levels. My head might explode.

Farking standing O from me to you, sir. (madam?)

/clicking on profile now

queenalice		2010-12-15 08:09:56 AM

DIDFML-- um. 3134?

farking hell.

i want to tell a story that perfectly relays how impressed i am, but i know of 19 or 20 people who will call me out as a star-farking name-dropping, attention-whoring, pathetic coont. So I'll just say- I'm humbled, impressed, and favoriting you immediately.

DammitIForgotMyLogin		2010-12-15 08:18:35 AM

queenalice: DIDFML-- um. 3134?

farking hell.

i want to tell a story that perfectly relays how impressed i am, but i know of 19 or 20 people who will call me out as a star-farking name-dropping, attention-whoring, pathetic coont. So I'll just say- I'm humbled, impressed, and favoriting you immediately.

Now i'm both flattered and very intrigued by this story. Heh.

EIP :)

queenalice		2010-12-15 08:22:24 AM

DammitIForgotMyLogin:
It's worse than that. He's dead Jim, dead Jim, dead Jim.

considering james was one of jesus' apostles, your comment just jumped to another level of greatness.

DSummZZZ		2010-12-15 03:05:02 PM

ZAZ:
.
.
.
I think I was the one to start down the road to this style back in 2005 with: "If lesbian Lisa marries Janet in Vermont while living in Virginia and has a baby and moves to Vermont and back to Virginia to renounce homosexuality and divorces in Vermont, does anyone read this tagline past the word 'lesbian'?" (1654680). (Prior to admin editing it ended "...you stopped reading at 'lesbian', didn't you?" Same principle.)

Somebody needs a hug.

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