I'm sorry I can't hear over the sound of my toys

phlegmmo: Eventually cause hearing loss.

Usually finish sentence.

Not if you have small children.

Cool Story Bro Moment:

I had a My Pal Robot when I was four. He would light up and talk and provide hours of fun. Well, on one fateful night in 1993, "Child's Play" happened to be on TV. I watched in absolute horror before proceeding to bed. Well, apparently My Pal's batteries were going dead or something, because at about 1 AM as I was fast asleep, that little f*cker started lighting up and yelling from my closet. You may never see a toddler run as fast as I ran to get away from that room. It would be another six years before I would stop being terrified of toys.

Bathia_Mapes: CavalierEternal: Cool Story Bro Moment:

I had a My Pal Robot when I was four. He would light up and talk and provide hours of fun. Well, on one fateful night in 1993, "Child's Play" happened to be on TV. I watched in absolute horror before proceeding to bed. Well, apparently My Pal's batteries were going dead or something, because at about 1 AM as I was fast asleep, that little f*cker started lighting up and yelling from my closet. You may never see a toddler run as fast as I ran to get away from that room. It would be another six years before I would stop being terrified of toys.

Wait...your parents let you watch "Child's Play" when you were a little kid?

Dad did, yeah. He was also the one who left the safety gate off of the basement and let me take my walker for a ride down the steps, knocking my incoming teeth out of alignment and leading to a decade of orthodontist appointments.

Seems like that problem will solve itself.

That's why they're only for other people's kids. Like neices and nephews.

""Sometimes she's like, London, turn that down, I can hear it," London said."

know what i'm sayin?

Another CSB moment... brought to you by Hallmark -

Christmas morning, when I was 6, I woke up at around 3:30 and was jumping up and down on my parents' bed desperate to go downstairs and open everything that Santa brought. To get some sleep, they finally let me go open one, "and only one", present.

Of course, I just happened to open the loudest present under the tree: some kind of mechanical baseball/pinball game -- release the plunger to play the little baseball. Single: *KER-CHUNK!* Double: *KER-CHUNK!* *KER-CHUNK!* Home run: *KER-CHUNK!* *KER-CHUNK!**KER-CHUNK!**KER-CHUNK!**KER-CHUNK!**KER-CHUNK!**KER-CHUNK!**KER-CHU NK!**KER-CHUNK!**KER-CHUNK!**KER-CHUNK!*

Needless to say, the whole household was wide awake in ten minutes and very unhappy. Me, I was very happy and kept playing that game basically all winter break.

At Christmas or birthday time, I always make it a point to buy horns, drums, or horrible electronic noisemakers for the two-to-five set belonging to my friends. I prefer the non-electronic versions, because there are no batteries to take out.

Dr. Scholl, an audiologist, suggests parent use noise limiters. (new window)

I thought he did feet.

Speaking of loud annoying toys, here is my csb:

When I was a small kid, I got a "Mr. Machine" for christmas. It was a clock work robot type thing, made of clear plastic so you could see the machinery work. You could also take it apart and put it back together again. A very cool piece of engineering for a toy. I still have it and it would most likely work if I wound it up.

Anyway, it totally freaked out the dogs and they were going nuts chasing it around the house while it made all these gear clanking noises and bells ringing as it marched around the house, twice almost knocking over the christmas tree. Between Mr. Machine and my brother's "Whirly Bird gun ship Helicopter", tempers got very short with the adults, and it caused my Grandfather to start drinking earlier than usual on chrsitmas day. Not that he needed an excuse to drink during the yule season, being stuck in a house with 6 little boys and 4 feet of snow outside. When the adults all mellowed out after dinner, Grandfather, my Dad and Uncle got really into playing with Mr. Machine, spending hours taking it apart and putting it back together again. Then my Mom flipped out and took it away, telling them they were worst than the boys. I didn't see it again for a couple of weeks.

The most annoying dog toy in the world

^{The horror!} _{The Horror!}

This is why Lego is the only present I buy children.

any kids.

The worst thing is that kids have to be SO OLD to use Lego ... like ... what ... 7? so all my friends had kids and I Immediately wanted to buy them Dr Seuss books and Lego. Most of them look at me like I have six heads.

oh ,yeah, your kid is illiterate and will eat the damn things.

Your kid is stupid.

I always send a present with my wife to baby showers - ear plugs.

I always disabled the noise makers on my little brother's toys.
My parents would protest sometimes, but not much.

LOUD NOISES!

/meh, got nuthin

The only toys I buy my kids are video games. That way I can send them to the basement and not have to deal with any of it.

So I guess 'Babies First Guitar Amp' is right out then?


Goddamn it. Hope I saved the receipt.

ramen_for_all: That's why they're only for other people's kids. Like neices and nephews.

This.

I always get my cousin's kids some of the most annoying toys I can find. My personal favorite was the miniature candy filled claw machine.

rubi_con_man: This is why Lego is the only present I buy children.

any kids.

The worst thing is that kids have to be SO OLD to use Lego ... like ... what ... 7? so all my friends had kids and I Immediately wanted to buy them Dr Seuss books and Lego. Most of them look at me like I have six heads.

There are a lot of toys that don't make noise and can be both constructive fun for kids to play with. My four year old niece has a lot of loud toys (not from me or my husband though--we hate that shiat), but she also loves putting easy puzzles together and building blocks and stuff.

Also, dude, you never heard of Duplo? They're Lego sets for kids under 5. A Duplo building set was the first present my niece ever got from us.

rubi_con_man: This is why Lego is the only present I buy children.

any kids.

The worst thing is that kids have to be SO OLD to use Lego ... like ... what ... 7? so all my friends had kids and I Immediately wanted to buy them Dr Seuss books and Lego. Most of them look at me like I have six heads.

oh ,yeah, your kid is illiterate and will eat the damn things.

Your kid is stupid.

Well sure, one Lego isn't loud at all. Even two only make a little clinking noise. But pour about 500 of them into a bin and you've got the loudest noise ever heard by mankind.

Bathia_Mapes: CavalierEternal: Cool Story Bro Moment:

I had a My Pal Robot when I was four. He would light up and talk and provide hours of fun. Well, on one fateful night in 1993, "Child's Play" happened to be on TV. I watched in absolute horror before proceeding to bed. Well, apparently My Pal's batteries were going dead or something, because at about 1 AM as I was fast asleep, that little f*cker started lighting up and yelling from my closet. You may never see a toddler run as fast as I ran to get away from that room. It would be another six years before I would stop being terrified of toys.

Wait...your parents let you watch "Child's Play" when you were a little kid?

My parents let me watch horror flicks as a kid, too. Child's Play was the only one that scared the shiat outta me. I'm 29 and still find dolls creepy because of it.

dogdaze you beat me to it.

I see what you did there, subby.

PacManDreaming: Lych_Necross: The most annoying dog toy in the world

You don't know how wrong you are. My dog has(had) a toy that sounds almost identical to this toy (YT: worlds most annoying toy). (^)

I also have a dog that sounds like that toy, as well. (YT: The Howler in Darkness) (^)


I stand corrected. My sympathies to you. None of my dogs have been howlers (guess I've been lucky).

My kid has the animal parade toy mentioned in the article, and, just saying, that's probably the least annoying noise making toy that he owns.

That thing has two volume levels, and I'm guessing that this article tested the higher of the two. Yeah, that thing is freaking LOUD, but the lower setting is pretty tolerable.

I'm not going to get on a rant about the alphabet caterpiller. Or the demon rabbit. Or that highchair topper thing that I eventually killed because it would go off randomly.

-"Don't buy the toys that make THE NOISE!"--Dennis Leary

Hobby Lobby sells 'fun foam' in 8x12" sheets. Cut this into appropriate shapes, stuff into speaker grills/holes/where ever the blasted noise is coming from (excluding the child itself, I'm afraid). Rinse, repeat.

My 2 year old girl will have good hearing until I take her to her first metal concert. All bets are off after that.

And I won't lose any more sanity listening to Dora sound bites. *shudder*