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(Japan Times)   Kim Jong-Il's sushi chef reveals the secrets of Kim's life   (japantimes.co.jp) divider line 70
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8386 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2003 at 5:06 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-07-06 02:19:53 PM  
It's no wonder he is living under an assumed name, look what happened to this guy:
 
2003-07-06 02:59:06 PM  

"I'll make him an offer he can't refuse"

Man, I wish I could have a North Korean dancer bride and a luxury car for a "present". I'm also trying to picture Kim Jong jet skiing, which is amusing enough in itself.
 
2003-07-06 03:24:09 PM  
wldncrzy14 I just *knew* you'd be all over that picture.
 
2003-07-06 03:37:28 PM  
Kim offered Fujimoto an elite North Korean female dancer -- one of a group selected exclusively to entertain Kim and a handful of leaders -- as a bride and gave him a luxury car as a present.

Doesn't sound like a bad gig to me.
Not a bad gig at all...
 
2003-07-06 04:20:26 PM  
What a sweet job. I want to be the dictator of an impoverished, rogue communist state.

Damn you, guidance counselor!
 
2003-07-06 04:33:57 PM  
Fatty tuna flesh? Is that another way of saying FUPA?
 
2003-07-06 05:17:07 PM  
Nothing like a good country lobster roll.

Yee-Haw!
 
2003-07-06 05:17:16 PM  
Alright, where are all the socialist/communist farkers to defend him ?
 
2003-07-06 05:19:37 PM  
Just for the record...
The thing we fear most about North Korea is their ballistic capabilites, the greatest of which is the No Dong missile. The No Dong. We're afraid of a country with No Dong.
 
2003-07-06 05:19:45 PM  
Wealth, Women and True Lies.

Kim Jong and Bill Clinton must somehow be related.

Maybe that's why Bill sucked Jong's Dong in the
early 90s, leading to the threat they are today.

Thanks Billery!
 
2003-07-06 05:20:49 PM  
Reference:
http://www.fas.org/nuke/guide/dprk/facility/nodong.htm

NO DONG. It never gets old!
 
2003-07-06 05:20:50 PM  
What? He's a cross-dressing pederast with nuclear weapons?

We already knew that.
 
2003-07-06 05:21:31 PM  
Hes smart. Moving in the dark so a satellite couldnt track him. Im sure that works.

/sarcasm
 
2003-07-06 05:22:30 PM  
Yes, yes, it's true. Our current problems with North Korea are, of course, all Clinton's fault. Glad we got that out of the way, Ann Coulter.
 
2003-07-06 05:23:17 PM  
Cut And Shoot

You're dittohead garbage is not entertaining. Turn off Rush and FauxNews and try thinking for yourself.
 
2003-07-06 05:24:16 PM  
So far, I've found that the book is actually being called (translated) "Kim Jong Il's Chef" ... still can't find a pic of the cover though :)
 
2003-07-06 05:24:40 PM  
 
2003-07-06 05:25:14 PM  
What about Jimmy Carter? He's the one that farked it all up to begin with. Don't blame Clinton for all this nonsense...If North Korea didn't back out of the Nuclear Proliferation Treaty (which it did because BUSH named it on the "axis of evil" and decided to go along with a pre-emption strategy...), it would've worked once the two light-water reactors were up.
 
2003-07-06 05:25:34 PM  
heh heh heh -- Japanese english-language cartoons are funny:

 
2003-07-06 05:26:05 PM  
It's no wonder North Korea is in the shape it's in, they make their leaders eat sushi for 13 years!

*Shudders & refills beer*
 
2003-07-06 05:26:37 PM  
 
2003-07-06 05:32:25 PM  
Yes, but did he say if Kim Jong is still alive? Every picture I've seen makes him look dead and stuffed. They also make me laugh.
 
2003-07-06 05:36:48 PM  
Leave it to Cut and Shoot to provide us with the first Dittomonkey comment in this thread.

Kim Jong-Il on a jet ski, or GW Bush falling off a Segway. Which is more hilariously sad (I think it might be the latter, since Kimmy at least was able to handle his vehicle).
 
2003-07-06 05:38:12 PM  
I doubt that Kin Jong really has nuclear capabiltiy. If he did he would have been Saddamised by his neighbors long ago. There's no way Russia or China would put up with this nut living next door with the ability to do them serious harm.
 
2003-07-06 05:40:33 PM  
FARK MESSAGE BOARD >> GATHERING MECCA FOR

BILL CLINTON APOLOGISTS

heh heh heh heh
 
2003-07-06 05:42:31 PM  
As a sushi chef, he soon gained personal favor with Kim because "toro" (fatty tuna flesh) -- a popular sushi ingredient -- was among Kim's favorite foods.

Hmm...

 
2003-07-06 05:44:55 PM  
Cut and Shoot, you DO know where you can stuff your frothing repug garbage, don't you?

When are you loons going to get over the fact that Clinton got elected not once but TWICE, *AND* even an kangaroo court impeachment still wasn't able to take him down.

The Era of the Repug is starting to fade. Even Bush's Spin Team can't cover up the cracks. It's just that you don't see it yet.

Now, go wack off to your poster of Michael Savage, Nazi Boy.
 
2003-07-06 05:49:11 PM  

"Kim Jong-Il's sushi chef reveals the secrets of Kim's life"


Jizz. Gallons and gallons of jizz. And some gamma radiation from his nukes.
"Don't maka me angly. You won't lika me when I'm angly."

 
2003-07-06 05:50:19 PM  
Can't we just make fun of a dictator named Kim, instead of a dictator wanna-be (for the liberals) and a former president who should have worried more about his Dong than the North Korean No Dong (for the conservatives)?

Once we stop Kim from going ballistic (pun intended) then let's get back to making fun of Americans, shall we?

*pause*

Nope...guess not.

*puts on asbestos underwear and leaves room*
 
2003-07-06 05:52:59 PM  
SixFingeredSanta, you're right about Carter. Very sad, too. If it weren't for his indulgent recklessness, fewer of the world's homicidal dictators would've worked up the courage to be a menace to civilized society.
 
2003-07-06 05:53:05 PM  
Cut and shoot, we're not bill clinton apologists, it's just that we don't care what you think, because you are obviously an idiot.
 
2003-07-06 05:59:19 PM  
Thirteen years on a diet of sushi is enough to drive anyone mad.
 
2003-07-06 06:01:01 PM  
Korag:

Learn to be more tolerant of those you disagree
with. Learn to diversify your tolerance with
kindness and understanding.

We all know that liberalism means being hateful
and nasty, (hence your screen name) but separate
yourself from the hatred you harbor from within.
Is this what Bill and Hillery have taught you?

You should be ashamed.

ALSO, STOP APOLOGIZING FOR BILL CLINTON!

IT'S GETTING OLD!
 
2003-07-06 06:07:42 PM  
Not to thread jack but:
Can anyone here who has totalfark tell me how many people have posted on the "photoshop dtinferno's college roomate gvining a speech" and could you link me some of the pics. Thanx
 
2003-07-06 06:09:38 PM  
Could someone post me a link to download MSN messenger 6 please? Sorry to threadjack.
 
2003-07-06 06:12:02 PM  
RATM:
ther's this thing called google. it's spiff.
 
2003-07-06 06:15:07 PM  
Suggestion: Kidnap Kim Jong-Il. Lock him in a movie theatre with an infinite supply of food, movies, and hookers (make sure the hookers are well-paid, mind you). Bet he's perfectly happy never to leave the theatre again.
 
2003-07-06 06:19:46 PM  
It must be the kim chi that keeps him alive
 
2003-07-06 06:22:57 PM  
Cut and Shoot:

"Learn to be more tolerant of those you disagree
with. Learn to diversify your tolerance with
kindness and understanding. "

and

"Maybe that's why Bill sucked Jong's Dong in the
early 90s, leading to the threat they are today.

Thanks Billery!"

Both are written by the same loon, folks. Take it for what you will.
 
2003-07-06 06:24:42 PM  
"Kim offered Fujimoto an elite North Korean female dancer -- one of a group selected exclusively to entertain Kim and a handful of leaders"

Its good to be the dictator.
 
2003-07-06 06:25:48 PM  
The article failed to reveal the answer to the all important question: Boxers or briefs? I guess they saved that one for the book. I remember hearing about Bill Clinton being asked that question on MTV during his first presidential run.
 
2003-07-06 06:28:43 PM  
Korag:

You're easy bait, dude.

heh heh heh
 
2003-07-06 06:32:06 PM  
Wait; how'd Clinton get involved in this discussion about a sushi chef?

Clinton isn't responsible for all of the problems in the world, folks. The reverse vampires are.
 
2003-07-06 06:34:46 PM  
Actually, if you want to pin the majority of the worlds evil on one group of people I highly advise you consider these guys..



Those goddamn Wiggles!
 
2003-07-06 06:35:44 PM  
Wrong! Captain Feathersword is not the mastermind, here! It is , of course, the Christian Rocket Scientists!
 
2003-07-06 06:37:05 PM  
(Yes, I know the fill-ins change every time you visit the site, but it was one of the best ones I found).
 
2003-07-06 06:39:01 PM  
FifthColumn
Whoever made that has done their homework.

Anyway, I really can't put much blame on a guy who sails the 7 seas in search of booty...

 
2003-07-06 06:39:43 PM  
Bummer
It must be the kim chi that keeps him alive

It's gotta be the bi bim bob. Or maybe the kalbee. Or maybe the bugloki...
 
2003-07-06 06:41:01 PM  
For those not in the know, Captain Feathersword's coat has magic buttons (!) on them which make him do different crazy things (!). Such as bark like a dog or hide the body of a hooker he just killed.
 
2003-07-06 06:43:14 PM  
See? This is why I shot my falafel guy.
 
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