Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Iwon)   LA lifeguards say forget the Great White Sharks off the beach, watch out for those deadly vending machines   ( divider line
    More: Strange  
•       •       •

5114 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jul 2003 at 12:06 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

28 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-07-04 12:13:46 PM  
You gotta better chance of being killed by a vending machine, really.....So it's not really strange
2003-07-04 12:13:58 PM  
Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged wimmen

2003-07-04 12:16:27 PM  
I hit submit before i finished, meant to say that...

What are the chances of being attacked by a great white? Or by a shark period? Besides, most shark attacks aren't even fatal, shark just makes a quick bite to see if you're a dolphin, finds out that you're not, and farks off

Now....what are the chances of being killed by a vending machine falling on you? Pretty damn high, considering that they're EVERYWHERE
2003-07-04 12:17:31 PM  
Farewell and ado all you lady's of spain...
2003-07-04 12:17:53 PM  
Man, that'd be a bad way to go... getting killed by a vending machine. Unless it was one of those beer ones from Japan. mmmmmm... beer.
2003-07-04 12:18:16 PM  
What about landsharks?
2003-07-04 12:19:52 PM  
You have more of a chance of being killed by vending machine food than by a vending machine.
2003-07-04 12:22:27 PM  
"You have more of a chance of being killed by vending machine food than by a vending machine."

I had a pack of "Soft Batch" cookies out of a vending mach. in TN once. I should've sued for false advertising, i'll be damned if those cookies were soft
2003-07-04 12:26:32 PM  
What about landsharks?

[image from too old to be available]

Dangerous suckers....
2003-07-04 12:28:08 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

no fear.
2003-07-04 12:33:08 PM  
"Martin, it's all psychological. You yell barracuda, everybody says, "Huh? What?" You yell vending machine, we've got a panic on our hands on the Fourth of July."

/ Mayor Larry Vaughn (sort of)
2003-07-04 12:33:38 PM  
It's always somewhere in the back of my mind if I go to the beach...

/damn Jaws....
2003-07-04 12:40:04 PM  
No word yet from Jack Russell.
2003-07-04 12:46:04 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-07-04 12:47:04 PM  
'He said that last year dogs killed more people than Great White sharks had killed in the last 100 years.'

Too bad Robert Shaw is dead. I'd love to see ol' Quint go after the canines.
2003-07-04 01:07:05 PM  
"See that one? From a Pepsi machine. Nearly tore my arm off when I went for the change. Ah, but I gaffed her and mounted her in me office. Rigged her so she don't need no quarters neither. Arrrrr."
2003-07-04 01:13:03 PM  
They caught a 200lb Great White off Hermosa Beach (LA) last week. Whatever. I'll be heading down there in about an hour.

I cannot (and should not) resist the call of beer and bikinis on this, our nations day of independence.

2003-07-04 01:14:20 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-07-04 01:14:55 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

I love this. Something about the lines radiating off the guys head as he's about to be crushed the tonnage of his own stupidity. It makes he giggle every time.
2003-07-04 01:57:56 PM  
What was that one 80's movie where all the machines became animated? I thought that was awesome

They had that one vending machine shooting cans at the baseball players.
2003-07-04 02:16:26 PM  
Stephen King's 'Maximum Overdrive'.
2003-07-04 02:26:40 PM  
AC/DC did the soundtrack.
I recall it was the best thing about that movie (sorry Emilio)
2003-07-04 04:19:56 PM  
But officials are reassuring residents that there's nothing to worry about: the sharks aren't that big, they are always off the coast and they only eat fish -- not people.

Around my parts they do eat people...
2003-07-04 06:25:37 PM  
Stephen King's 'Maximum Overdrive'

Awful movie, can't say much about a movie when the biggest star in it is Yeardley Smith.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2003-07-04 09:33:59 PM  
``One of life's great truths is this: when one is about to be struck by a speeding six hundred pound Coke machine, one need worry about nothing else.''

Stephen King, The Tommyknockers

And in defense of Yeardley Smith, I saw an episode of "Murphy Brown" with her. She was supposed to be an annoying girl that the male lead wanted to avoid. I kept thinking "I would not run away from her.
2003-07-05 12:35:13 AM  
reminds me of that scene/sketch from the "sketch show"

surfing instructor[bad aussie accent+bad wetsuit]: now, does anyone know the chances u have, of getting eaten by a shark?
surfer #1[bad accent+wetsuit]: 20%?
surfer #2[" "]: 26%?
surfer #3[" "]: 30%?
instructor: no! the actual statistical answer is.....not very high.

ahem, well it made me laugh anyway, thanks for listening
2003-07-05 04:24:01 AM  
"Besides, most shark attacks aren't even fatal, shark just makes a quick bite to see if you're a dolphin, finds out that you're not, and farks off"

Dolphins kick shark ass... they head-butt its cartilage body until the vital organs fail.

Advice to sharks: don't fark with a pack of dolphins... you will have the worst gut-ache and it ain't indigestion
2003-07-05 12:16:45 PM  
Hah. Dumb.

First off, SoCal surfers have nothing to fear as far as great white shark attacks go. Most are 2+ miles off shore.
And the 200 lb. white they caught in Hermosa couldn't have been too big. Not much more than 6-7 ft.

However, in NorCal, where I surf, there is such thing as the "red triangle", which stretches from Stinson beach to the Farallons to somewhere farther north.. It's like prime shark territory. Where I routinely surf at Bolinas there has been sighted one particularly frisky 16 footer, going in and out of the channel into the lagoon where all the seals hang out.

Which is why I always surf near other people.
Displayed 28 of 28 comments

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.