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(Gizmodo)   7 best deep fried turkey disasters   (gizmodo.com) divider line 136
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30847 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2010 at 6:16 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-11-26 08:11:13 PM
I've only had deep fried turkey once but omg it was farking delicious. It's worth a few bystanders losing their lives or homes for.
 
zez
2010-11-26 08:11:38 PM
My mom always does Thanksgiving the weekend after, it's just easier for everybody.
 
Ral
2010-11-26 08:11:42 PM
I would have physically stopped that idiot with the garden hose on the wood deck, and not just hidden inside the house. And then I would have called 911.

Don't ever be afraid to call 911. A fire can go from "I think it's okay" to "shiat the house is on fire" in about 10 seconds. Even once the fire is out, you should do it and have the fire department come check it. They won't mind.
 
2010-11-26 08:12:28 PM
if you follow alton brown you'll be fine or use half a brain.
Link (new window)
Link (new window)
Link (new window)

and heres the rigging drawn out:
Link (new window)
amazed that people don't think of stuff like this when their dealing with oil and fire. grease fire are horrible!
 
2010-11-26 08:13:46 PM
I love it how they're pondering in the video whether to call the fire department or not.

/Every second counts...
 
2010-11-26 08:14:03 PM
YouPeopleAreCrazy: Question on a tangent:
How many of you do the big thanksgiving dinner on a day other than Thursday?

Work/travel/split families/etc...

Mine is this Sunday. Just put the bird in the brine for an early Sunday morn ass raping with a beer can and then on the grill.


Usually, we go camping out in the middle of nowhere to avoid the crazy relatives and come back Sunday and I fix my Turkey. This year, we didn't have that problem. Crazies went out of town instead

/Wants another turkey
//Likes to cook it in the oven and drink lots of ales.
 
2010-11-26 08:15:21 PM
SkorzenyNinja: Fish in a Barrel:
/deep fried turkey is fast and DELICIOUS

TRUTH.

Just out of curiosity, how many of you Farkers out there do this fried-turkey business on Thanksgiving? We fried up two yesterday and everyone there loved them.


I've done one up here in Canada the past two years in a row. (In October, the REAL Thanksgiving).

DEE-LICIOUS.
 
2010-11-26 08:15:50 PM
I actually want to try this one year, without the whole fire thing. You have to make sure the turkey is thawed and patted dry and that there is just enough oil that it doesn't overflow. Only drawback is a lack of stuffing, which I love as much as the dark meat itself.

Alton Brown shows us how its done.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEPH2Zsi0Jc

(Part 2)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZE51ynJkLk&
 
2010-11-26 08:19:25 PM
List fails without...

www.american-conservativevalues.com
 
2010-11-26 08:22:07 PM
Pribar: Hell these guys are friggin Einsteins compared to my neighbor, I did a trash can turkey (dig a firepit drive a rebar stake in its middle, fill with wood and let it burn till ya get a good ash bed going then stick a beer can inside the turkey and lower it so the rebar is inside the can so ya don't end up having the turkey slide down into the coals, then place a trashcan upside down on top of turkey and cover top with more coals from firepit and let turkey smoke/bake) I told em how to do it and realizing how slow he was I even specified a new trash can that he had thoroughly cleaned, the next day the idiot comes over yelling that I had ruined his turkey, the moron had used a PLASTIC trash can.


/yea wall of text/CSB


HAHAHAHAHA! Plastic!

But I should warn you a galvanized garbage can isn't a wise idea. Heating zinc gives off zinc oxide, which is poisonous in large enough concentrations. Your probably safe, since your cook fire probably isn't hot enough to reach the heat (930 F) necessary to create zinc oxide.

Still, it would be best to use an un-coated steel can or barrel.

/Welder
//Once watched a redneck kid cook a chicken over a barrel of burning trash.
 
2010-11-26 08:22:39 PM
Paging Mr. Archimedes, Mr. Archimedes to the math impaired courtesy phone.
 
2010-11-26 08:36:02 PM
I particularly like the videos where they have the child in one and a dog in the other just casually walking near the hot vat of oil. Bonus points for anyone putting this near any flammable structure.
 
2010-11-26 08:40:51 PM
My personal favorite:

Thermite Thanksgiving

/mayhem begins at 1:20
 
2010-11-26 08:46:08 PM
Clete Orris: List fails without...

OJ Simpson?
 
2010-11-26 08:48:26 PM
1) Place COLD turkey in EMPTY fryer.

2) Pour oil to desired level.

3) Remove turkey and set aside.

4) Start fire. Heat oil.

5) Slowly add turkey.


In event of flame up: remove heat source, smother with wet blanket.
 
2010-11-26 09:02:02 PM
YouPeopleAreCrazy: TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Use an oven, and stop being such a stupid hick.

Oven? Blasphemy.
Smoked on the grill. With a beer can up its ass.


You smoked it on the grill? Jesus Christ, how long did THAT take?!?
 
2010-11-26 09:04:03 PM
SkorzenyNinja: Fish in a Barrel:
/deep fried turkey is fast and DELICIOUS

TRUTH.

Just out of curiosity, how many of you Farkers out there do this fried-turkey business on Thanksgiving? We fried up two yesterday and everyone there loved them.


My buddy's parents fry one every year. This year they also did a chicken. Always delicious. Cajun seasoned, crispy skin, juicy meat.

Now I'm hungry.
 
2010-11-26 09:13:17 PM
Majin_Buu: Clete Orris: List fails without...

OJ Simpson?


*golf clap*
 
2010-11-26 09:13:58 PM
SkorzenyNinja: ny of you Fark

We did it once and it was really good and super tender. That being said I would not do it again, with all the preparation/cleanup and the cost of all that oil.
 
2010-11-26 09:15:29 PM
ok.. the last video was just irritating.. really?
 
2010-11-26 09:22:14 PM
YouPeopleAreCrazy: TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Use an oven, and stop being such a stupid hick.

Oven? Blasphemy.
Smoked on the grill. With a beer can up its ass.


I don't think I'll be eating at your house.
 
2010-11-26 09:22:44 PM
Listen, if no one died via a nasty oil/grease fire, where the user became coated in oil and caught fire AND the deck was destroyed by fire which would also cause a minimum of $40K in house damage, we've got nothing to talk about. Otherwise, I have a great laugh.
 
2010-11-26 09:25:59 PM
I'm kinda disappointed on the lack of deep fried turkey fires this year. Not that I wish others harm for the sake of my skewed humor. But I guess people must be getting better at it.

/had one oven roasted, and one deep fried this year. Both were great!
 
2010-11-26 09:26:03 PM
Screw frying. I did the whole Alton-Brown-Approved Brine-n-Bake. Skin fried in its own fat at 500 degrees and 2 hours later the bird was on the table.

Frying is for idiots, IMO.

/yes, I know Alton did a "Fried Turkey" ep.
//don't care.
 
2010-11-26 09:28:10 PM
We had a few good times when we would do this at work (minus the fireballs). The thing that got me was how fast and how many turkey's we would go through.
 
2010-11-26 09:30:34 PM
Worked in restaurants long enough to develop a healthy fear of hot oil, and seen too many of these videos to even think about tryign this. If I ever cook another turkey it'll be in an oven, wrapped in foil like the good lord intended.
 
2010-11-26 09:31:52 PM
Are people really THAT stupid?
Yes. And, they vote.
Better get used to, "President Palin."
 
2010-11-26 09:34:02 PM
Old enough to know better: If I ever cook another turkey it'll be in an oven, wrapped in foil like the good lord intended.

Pff, what's so great about the Lord? I buy an entire flock of LIVE turkeys. I wait until there's a thunder storm, then I herd them out into an open field. Whichever one gets zapped by lighting is the one we eat. The way Zeus intended!
 
2010-11-26 09:37:32 PM
erveek: I love the yell at the end of the second one.

I like #6...the way he sneaks up on the fryer with the bird at the end of a really long stick. Dude, you're not appeasing some dragon in a cave with a virgin. Or, considering the results, perhaps he was.
 
2010-11-26 09:46:58 PM
VictorOfBorge

Better get used to, "President Palin."

In the highly unlikely event that she actually runs, she already has my vote.

/hey if nothing else is working, let the clown drive.
 
2010-11-26 09:47:15 PM
Thank you Clete Orris and VictorOfBorge. This just wouldn't be Fark without some ass holes douching up an apolitical thread with lame troll bait.
 
2010-11-26 09:49:50 PM
Made my first deep-fried bird this year. Best...turkey...ever. I'm never going back to oven-baked turkey, this was wayyy to easy.

/brined it, also
 
2010-11-26 09:50:26 PM
Seriously? What is the deal with stupid traditions? I love turkey. Why don't people cut up the bird? it allows for more diverse, easier cooking methods, better temp control, and less disaster. Instead of abusing the temp of the breast so that thighs are cooked through. etc., cut them off. It's easier to plate for a crowd, also.
 
2010-11-26 09:52:22 PM
finnished: I love it how they're pondering in the video whether to call the fire department or not.

/Every second counts...


Yeah but it turned out the guy with the hose really did know what he was doing. From the brains on the rest of them I really was expecting him to aim the hose straight at the fire and treat us to an "OH CRAP WHY IS THE FIRE BIGGER" moment.

But no, he attacked it like a pro-he used the hose to wet a smothering mat, then used the hose to cool the sides of the metal frying can until he could get close enough to get the mat on...then kept up the attack with the hose to make sure the mat didn't melt through.

The chick with the box of Arm and Hammer and "because that's what they teach you in biology class", though...THAT made me laugh. A box that size might be your first line of attack against a frying pan with three ounces of oil, but it would do precisely jack against a five gallon roasting pail sending up three foot flames. So did the guy just standing there with the fryer's lid and retarded expression.
 
2010-11-26 09:52:50 PM
Personally, I like going hunting at the local Safeway, targeting my prey and bringing it home to grunt at the wife "I found!" Then, in the sacred ceremony where I bake it at 325-degrees and drink lots of ale, I become more calm and satisfied. To me, there's no satisfaction with dunking a turkey in a vat of boiling hot oil, except for the fire part, but I like to eat my turkey afterward. In the Ales/TimeItTakesToCook equation, the better buzz is not with hot oil.
 
2010-11-26 09:55:33 PM
Next question, one of the yuppies asks whether there's a turkey in the fryer and the response is "no, there's no turkey in there".

...
So what did they do to make it catch on fire? And would they have changed their plan of attack if the answer was yes?

Oh. One more question. How much weed did those guys smoke before trying to take that video, or do they really have that little fear of fire?
 
2010-11-26 09:59:01 PM
YouPeopleAreCrazy: TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Use an oven, and stop being such a stupid hick.

Oven? Blasphemy.
Smoked on the grill. With a beer can up its ass.


Did this several years ago with the cheapest/nastiest beer we could find. (You didn't even want to rent this stuff.) Was the best turkey I'd ever eaten.

Would love to have the balls sometime before I die to use Guinness or Foster's...but don't want to see people cry over using a decent beer.
 
2010-11-26 10:02:47 PM
daveb0rg: I don't think I'll be eating at your house.

Just like a beer can chicken, but you have to use a bigger can. A Fosters can works.
 
2010-11-26 10:04:15 PM
phoobarnvaz: YouPeopleAreCrazy: TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Use an oven, and stop being such a stupid hick.

Oven? Blasphemy.
Smoked on the grill. With a beer can up its ass.

Did this several years ago with the cheapest/nastiest beer we could find. (You didn't even want to rent this stuff.) Was the best turkey I'd ever eaten.

Would love to have the balls sometime before I die to use Guinness or Foster's...but don't want to see people cry over using a decent beer.


I make Welsh Rarebit with Budweiser. Tastes just fine.
 
2010-11-26 10:06:27 PM
phoobarnvaz: Would love to have the balls sometime before I die to use Guinness or Foster's...but don't want to see people cry over using a decent beer.

Fosters is what I'll be using Sunday.
 
2010-11-26 10:08:12 PM
I make my turkey in my Ronco "Set it and forget it!" Showtime Rotisserie every year. Moist, delicious, crispy skin, quick cooking time... no complaints. Only problem is getting a turkey that's the right size. It says it accommodates one up to 15 lbs, but trussing the legs & wings so it doesn't touch the heating element is a real bugger. Go 12 or less, or get the professional size rotisserie. It's also really good for chicken and leg of lamb.

/not a paid endorsement... I really do love that thing
 
2010-11-26 10:09:40 PM
noobz


/had 2 deep fried turkeys
//jalapeno and cajun flavors respectfully
///was better than yourz
 
2010-11-26 10:23:04 PM
Ishidan: finnished: I love it how they're pondering in the video whether to call the fire department or not.

/Every second counts...

Yeah but it turned out the guy with the hose really did know what he was doing. From the brains on the rest of them I really was expecting him to aim the hose straight at the fire and treat us to an "OH CRAP WHY IS THE FIRE BIGGER" moment.


Sure he was successful. But if you're wondering whether you should call the FD or not, you're late already.
 
2010-11-26 10:45:08 PM
SkorzenyNinja: Fish in a Barrel:
/deep fried turkey is fast and DELICIOUS

TRUTH.

Just out of curiosity, how many of you Farkers out there do this fried-turkey business on Thanksgiving? We fried up two yesterday and everyone there loved them.


Yup. Brined it in salt-sugar water with lemons, oranges, onion, thyme and bay leaf for 24 hours. Injected with butter, garlic powder, onion powder, and a touch of cayenne. Fry for 50 minutes. Whilst cooling fry up some sweet potato fries along with the other fixings. De-freaking-licious. Won't eat turkey any other way.
 
2010-11-26 10:46:04 PM
pickledick: noobz


/had 2 deep fried turkeys
//jalapeno and cajun flavors respectfully
///was better than yourz


Psssshhht...I see your jalapeno & cajun and raise you bacon wrapped.


/oven not fried.
 
2010-11-26 11:00:16 PM
Came for the All State reference.

Leaving disappointed
 
2010-11-26 11:02:42 PM
TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Use an oven, and stop being such a stupid hick. Not every damn thing needs to be fried.

That's not what Master Shake says.
 
2010-11-26 11:03:03 PM
corndog420: Why don't people cut up the bird? it allows for more diverse, easier cooking methods, better temp control, and less disaster.

Oh God, FSM, or whatever bless the fark outta you.

30 years ago I worked for five years as a butcher at a meat shop (that sold only meat, not a grocery store with a meat counter), and we never cooked poultry for our pre-made dishes without cutting it up first.

My family was aghast the first time I mentioned trying it, but once I got married and hosted a 40 person Thanksgiving at my house, there was no way we could cook enough turkey for that many people without splitting up the cooking duties among the two ovens, two grills, and one fryer.

I understand the argument that "the meat will dry out" if you separate the white and dark meat, but that's because people aren't cutting, cleaning, or cooking the meat correctly for each part. You can make each distinct cut of turkey the way it was meant to be cooked.

If you have to cook a turkey whole in an oven, I have a tip:

If you insist on roasting your turkey whole in an oven and you don't want to bother with basting - turn the turkey upside down for the first hour or two. The bulk of the fat is in the dark meat in the bottom, and it will trickle down into the breast meat as the turkey warms up. Once you turn it over the fat will crisp with the oven heat and give the skin the nice "brown" that everyone seems to be chasing at the expense of taste. Bonus: your "enfattened" breast meat will taste spectacular to people who only eat white meat, and they won't know why.

Otherwise clean that turkey like a pro and do what we do: oil fry the breast to keep it moist, smoke the legs and thighs for taste, and pan fry the stuffing with some drippings. It works out for everyone, and you can serve tons more people if you have to.
 
2010-11-26 11:06:53 PM
Lsherm: corndog420: - turn the turkey upside down for the first hour or two. The bulk of the fat is in the dark meat in the bottom, and it will trickle down into the breast meat as the turkey warms up.

I've heard that cooking it breast side down (The Way The Navy Does It) is really good! One of these years, I will try it that way. I guess the trick is flipping it over.
 
2010-11-26 11:18:31 PM
DataPanic: Lsherm: corndog420: - turn the turkey upside down for the first hour or two. The bulk of the fat is in the dark meat in the bottom, and it will trickle down into the breast meat as the turkey warms up.

I've heard that cooking it breast side down (The Way The Navy Does It) is really good! One of these years, I will try it that way. I guess the trick is flipping it over.


If you leave it upside down the whole time, the skin is going to be soggy. Cook it for the bulk of the actual cooking time, 2-4 hours, then flip it for the last hour.

If the last hour doesn't give you crispy brown skin at the end:

1) Rub butter or oil on the top of the turkey
2) Turn on the broiler for 10 minutes. It will crisp the outside and brown it, but the meat itself will stay juiced.

The irony of all this is that we roast turkeys based on how the farking skin looks instead of how the meat tastes. It's easy to make the skin look good. It's difficult to make juicy turkey.
 
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