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(des moines register)   Woman invites couple into her home, didn't happen to notice the man was wearing nothing but whipped cream (second story)   ( divider line
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14450 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2003 at 3:42 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

44 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-07-02 10:08:42 PM  
But what KIND of whipped cream was it???
2003-07-02 11:23:23 PM  
This kind of party usually goes best with KoolWhip (tm) spray.
2003-07-03 03:46:46 AM  
And that was NO cherry!
2003-07-03 03:48:52 AM  
Actually the 'officer's report' says "Whip cream" rather than "whipped cream". Is there a distinction?

(I have prevented my mind from forming any sort of mental image whatsoever until this is clarified).
2003-07-03 03:48:55 AM  
how do you NOT notice a dude with whipped cream all over his face and groin with no other coverings on his body?
oh, and...
<<<<dork chick alert. illicit affair with picard? nerd nerd nerd!
2003-07-03 03:52:37 AM  
The Fuller Brush company has been forced to make a few adaptations to survive in the new economy.
2003-07-03 03:54:20 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-07-03 03:56:37 AM  
<--- who was dangling a worm in front of the camera? huh?
2003-07-03 03:58:14 AM  
*Cough, THREE-WAY, ahem, cough...
2003-07-03 04:00:48 AM  
I wonder if this lady lets just anyone in her house. Sure sounds like it.
"Knock, knock"
"Who' there??
"Come on in, have a seat."
Dielarity ensues.
2003-07-03 04:03:13 AM  
Well, let's hope it wasn't shaving cream...

2003-07-03 04:04:18 AM  
O.K., Why would someone knock on a strangers door just wearing whipped cream?
2003-07-03 04:08:11 AM  
A man decides to have a party and invites lots of people,
telling them to bring their friends. On the invitation
he puts "Theme Party Come as a Human Emotion".

On the night of the party, the first guest arrives and
he opens the door to see a guy covered in green paint
with the letters N and V painted on his chest. He says
to this guy, "Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you
come as?" and the guy says, "I'm green with envy." The
host replies, "Brilliant, come on in and have a drink."

A few minutes later the next guest arrives and the host
opens the door to see a woman covered in a pink body
stocking with a feather boa wrapped round her most intimate
parts. He says to this woman, "Wow, great outfit, what
emotion have you come as?" And she replies, "I'm tickled
pink." The host says, "I love it, come on in and join
the party."

A couple of minutes later the doorbell goes for the
third time, and the host opens the door to see two guys
from Jamaica, stark naked, one with his penis stuck
in a bowl of custard and the other with his penis stuck
in a pear. The host is really shocked and says, "Guys,
what the hell are you doing? You could get arrested
for standing like that out here in the street. What
emotion is this supposed to be?" The first guy replies,
"Well, I'm farkin' disgusted, and my friend here has
come in despair."!
2003-07-03 04:11:47 AM  
It's a floor wax!
It's a dessert topping!
It's a shirt
2003-07-03 04:13:56 AM  
How do stupid people manage to live so long?
2003-07-03 04:19:57 AM  
mnr2d: I love SNL commercials.
2003-07-03 04:29:37 AM  
Isnt it Ironic that in such a big world the two biggest morons on the planet ended up in the same apartment?
2003-07-03 04:42:36 AM  
Dont you think?
2003-07-03 05:36:16 AM  
just in case it gets deleted

Visitor wears only whipped cream

A Des Moines woman told police on Tuesday that she invited a man and woman into her apartment without immediately noticing what the man was wearing - or not wearing.

Police said Terese Weber, 45, who lives on the south side, told officers the pair who came to her door about 6:30 a.m. said they were representatives of "The Elite Party Plan" and wanted to talk to her about giving an "exotic" party.

After they were in the apartment, police said, Weber noticed the man wore nothing but whipped cream.

"Yes, you read correctly," officers said in a report. "Whip cream - all over his face and groin."

Weber excused herself and went to another room, police said. The couple left shortly thereafter.
2003-07-03 05:55:14 AM  

Des Moines Woman: What the hell do you two want, it's 6.30 a.m. on a Tuesday?

Whipped Cream Man: We're representatives of "The Elite Party Plan" and we'd like to talk to you about giving an "exotic party".

DM Woman: Errrr...OK! Hehe...err...could you just wait here a moment while I go into this other room?

WC Man: Sure!

*Goes into other room*
*Locks door*

All: .....

Couple leaves.

2003-07-03 06:02:15 AM  
and she didn't think it was strange that the couple came to her door at 6.30 AM for farks sake! who plans parties that early oh yeah crazy people wearing cream!
2003-07-03 06:07:59 AM  
Also, can some Yank tell me how Des Moines is pronounced: Day Mwan or Dez Moynz? Or some unforeseen third option?
2003-07-03 06:16:24 AM  
Wow, Is there a better lie she could have responded with?

"UH, he forced his way in and then stripped and... uh, made me watch im cover himself with cool whip(tm)... the horror, the horror..."

"No, it's like this, he seemed to be wearing a flufy three-piece white suit... like the KFC Cornel... but... things then went... wrong..."

"I was forced against my will to write "Happy Birthday" in frosting on this horrible man's gonads... and face..."
2003-07-03 06:25:27 AM  
The perfect accompaniment to all that whipped cream is "The Elite Party Flan" - available at all good bakers.
2003-07-03 06:31:16 AM  
was the whipped cream diet or regular?
2003-07-03 06:33:07 AM  
I was just trying to stay cool!
2003-07-03 06:37:39 AM  
Kungfu_Kleg: Da Moin

P.S. I do not live in Iowa.
2003-07-03 06:59:13 AM  
Perish the thought! I would never suggest such a thing!
2003-07-03 07:21:08 AM  
Thanks, I appreciate it. Iowa is kind of the Bayern of the U.S...
2003-07-03 08:23:12 AM  
.....after she "excuses herself".
"Maam, does this mean you dont want the party? Maam, why are you crying?"
2003-07-03 08:32:51 AM  
*knock* *knock*
"who is it?"

"it's the plumber mam"

"hahaha no it isn't"


"hahahaha nooooo"

"land shark mam"

"hahahaha no, you are probably some naked guy wearing only cool whip...come on it"

"why thank you mam!"
2003-07-03 08:45:48 AM  
ArnoldLayne: I live in Iowa. We're not like Bayern at all. We're more like Wolfsburg or (on an especially bad day) Energie Cottbus. Illinois or Wisconsin... they're the ones you're looking for if you want to make a Bayern comparison.
2003-07-03 09:08:57 AM  
A Des Moines woman told police on Tuesday that she invited a man and woman into her apartment without immediately noticing what the man was wearing - or not wearing.

Police said Terese Weber, 45, who lives on the south side, told officers the pair who came to her door about 6:30 a.m. said they were representatives of "The Elite Party Plan" and wanted to talk to her about giving an "exotic" party.

Oh the south side of Des Moines
Is the baddest part of town
And if you go down there, you better just beware
Of a man named Whip Cream Brown
2003-07-03 09:56:33 AM  
"Look at me Im whipped cream head. Fear me. All fear whipped cream head. "

/Red Foreman
2003-07-03 10:26:10 AM  
Iowa is sort of like the Alabama of the Midwest.
2003-07-03 10:45:12 AM  
Please tell me this is a joke:


This is totally safe for work, just incredibly funny. I just snapped it myself.
2003-07-03 10:49:37 AM  
In what way, Shogo?
2003-07-03 11:07:54 AM  
2003-07-03 04:08:11 AM SatchmoR

2003-07-03 11:14:53 AM  
When are people going to finally understand that yes, they do have a chain of convenience stores in Iowa called "Kum & Go*." Geez, it's so old now it's not even funny anymore.

*a.k.a. "ejaculate & evacuate"
2003-07-03 01:13:22 PM  
I love these whipped cream stories. They always remind me of my favorite album cover of all time:

[image from too old to be available]

Iowa really is like the Bayern of the US, except it's mostly flat, has no real cities, and smells like pigs.

Owe the
World an

2003-07-03 01:58:20 PM  
Let me get this straight...
She let them in.. at 6:30 A-freaking-M?

... apart from you...
2003-07-03 02:12:03 PM  
This story unexpectedly cut my already tenuous grasp on reality. My productivity has been ruined for the rest of the day. My main issue is that I trying to figure out which person in this situation qualifies as most stupid. It keeps turning into this cyclical argument in my head, and...oh, man.

Pins pins pins pins!
2003-07-03 02:34:26 PM  
not to whine, but why do I get banned for 24 hours and my witty personals comments get pulled but others don't?

Drew, I told you I would never say anything about our illicit affair, why do you hurt me so??

I like reddi-whip when I am trying to sell door-to-door exotic parties...
2003-07-04 01:25:57 AM  
Kungfu_Kleg: Deh Moin and that's Moin as in Loin. Say it quickly.

Lived in Iowa all of my life.
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