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(Boston Globe)   Less than a week 'til Black Friday, it must be time for the annual "dangerous toys" slideshow. You'll shoot your eye out   (boston.com) divider line 150
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13008 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Nov 2010 at 5:59 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-11-19 11:20:14 PM
And also time for the annual Fark thread about all the toys we played with as a kid that now you can't even buy.
 
2010-11-19 11:48:40 PM
Hey, I've got those magnets. Never thought about swallowing them. Sounds like I've got weekend plans now!
 
2010-11-20 12:07:35 AM
WhyteRaven74: And also time for the annual Fark thread about all the toys we played with as a kid that now you can't even buy.

Jarts, baby! I remember throwing one into my cousin's leg as a lad...
...and the beating I got from him.
 
2010-11-20 12:17:21 AM
cache.boston.com


farm4.static.flickr.com
 
2010-11-20 12:17:29 AM
Swallowing two or more magnets is SERIOUSLY bad news. So don't buy toys with tiny little magnets in if you have (1) a dog (2) a kid in the house under about age 3, even if they're not the owner.

Otherwise, it's all good.

The stilts I'm kinda surprised, used to be people make their own stilts at home, I guess it was dangerous but it was homemade so no one cared about it.
 
2010-11-20 12:19:47 AM
cache.boston.com

FTDA: WATCH notes that this plastic mini cycle, which is marketed for toddlers as young as 18 months old, sits so low to the ground that it can create a fall hazard if used outdoors.

I always worry about falling when I'm closer to the ground.
 
2010-11-20 12:21:39 AM
LordOfThePings: FTDA: WATCH notes that this plastic mini cycle, which is marketed for toddlers as young as 18 months old, sits so low to the ground that it can create a fall hazard if used outdoors.

I always worry about falling when I'm closer to the ground.


I also see 3 pinch points where the wheels touch the ground.


Seriously, why even bother making toys anymore?
 
2010-11-20 12:39:15 AM
robmilmel: ...and the beating I got from him.

heh
 
2010-11-20 12:49:24 AM
www.corbisimages.com

unavailable for comment
 
2010-11-20 01:16:10 AM
HenryFnord: unavailable for comment

Came for the SNL "Consumer Probe" reference, leaving satisfied.
 
2010-11-20 02:56:02 AM
Sweet Jesus. I thought "you'll put your eye out" was a joke from subby. It's actually item number one.


PS

This toy, which was marketed for infants and sold at Toys R Us, has long, fiber-like hair that is easily removable, creating the possibility of injuries if ingested, WATCH says, adding that the hazard is not noted anywhere on the product.
cache.boston.com
DO NOT EAT STUFFED HORSE
 
2010-11-20 03:03:09 AM
What dangerous toys may look like.

freemusic07.ucoz.com
 
2010-11-20 06:07:57 AM
robmilmel: Jarts, baby! I remember throwing one into my cousin's leg as a lad...

Anyone that bought those thinking it was a good idea deserved what they had coming. It reminds me of some neighborhood kids when I was growing up. One of their parents bought a bunch of bb guns for them to play "war" with. Soon a kid was in the hospital and the parent that bought the guns couldn't understand what the fuss was about.
 
2010-11-20 06:09:06 AM
Hey man, I think I like being scared
An' I wish you all were here
Man I really, really think, really think that I think
I like being scared

Too obscure? (no fair using Google, that's cheating)
 
2010-11-20 06:11:20 AM
Oh noes the children be shooting themselves in the eye. If you're going to give your kid a toy gun, you should make sure they know not to shoot their eyes with it.
Of course a toy sword might hurt if you whacked someone with it. Next thing you know, they'll be putting warning labels on tree branches.
One last thing, don't eat your toys.
 
GBB
2010-11-20 06:18:31 AM
"...is made of rigid plastic and can cause serious injuries if it makes impact with a person's face, or other areas."

Is it me, or can this be applied to every toy on the list except for the plush ponies?
 
2010-11-20 06:19:48 AM
Good, lets weed out the weak and stupid children before they grow up and have more.

/get off my lawn (darts)
 
2010-11-20 06:19:49 AM
If you DON'T get stabbed by a Jart, or have an eye shot out via the Red Ryder, it simply isn't Christmas.

/ho-ho-farking-ho
//bag of glass for the little bastards
 
2010-11-20 06:20:32 AM
cchings: Oh noes the children be shooting themselves in the eye. If you're going to give your kid a toy gun, you should make sure they know not to shoot their eyes with it.
Of course a toy sword might hurt if you whacked someone with it. Next thing you know, they'll be putting warning labels on tree branches.
One last thing, don't eat your toys.


God gave us two eyes so that Tea Partiers can still see after they shoot their own eye out while looking down the barrel of a loaded gun. The rest of us have two eyes so that Tea Partiers don't feel more ashamed than they already should.
 
2010-11-20 06:20:53 AM
My dad always used to like to tell me about when he was young and he'd melt lead into molds to make little soldiers. Nope, don't make 'em like that, lol.
 
2010-11-20 06:22:53 AM
Pikers. Now THIS is a toy...



techpaul.files.wordpress.com
 
2010-11-20 06:27:16 AM
The Happy Fun Ball may explode on impact.
 
2010-11-20 06:35:33 AM
lkychrms: The Happy Fun Ball may explode on impact.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
 
2010-11-20 06:37:03 AM
WhyteRaven74: And also time for the annual Fark thread about all the toys we played with as a kid that now you can't even buy.

daily-grind.net

You can play on my lawn.
 
2010-11-20 06:38:48 AM
Vertically Challenged: My dad always used to like to tell me about when he was young and he'd melt lead into molds to make little soldiers. Nope, don't make 'em like that, lol.

Too true. Their generation's toys laugh at our toys the same way ours laugh at the puffballs sold to today's children.

img214.imageshack.us

I want one of these.
 
2010-11-20 06:42:05 AM
Gonna strike all the big red words
From my little black book
 
2010-11-20 06:44:50 AM
www.consumerwarningnetwork.com
 
2010-11-20 06:48:41 AM
Do you ever look at a kid's Big Wheel and get the overwhelming urge to shove him aside and take it for a joy ride?
 
2010-11-20 06:50:34 AM
I don't get the horse one. If your kid is likely to peel of the fluffy bits and eat it, isn't the kid as likely to eat fluff of the carpet?

Maybe the horse is healthier to eat than the carpet.
 
2010-11-20 06:54:03 AM
moothemagiccow:
DO NOT EAT STUFFED HORSE


Babies stuff everything into their mouths. That's why you get the creepy pony for the older child who knows not to try to eat it, and give the infant a sock.

/seriously, a Big Wheel is considered dangerous?
 
2010-11-20 06:54:20 AM
Gets hot enough to melt plastic. What could go wrong?

www.spookshows.com
 
2010-11-20 06:55:44 AM
WhyteRaven74: And also time for the annual Fark thread about all the toys we played with as a kid that now you can't even buy.

We were sooooo poor when I was a kid that if I hadn't been born a boy I wouldn't have had anything to play with.
 
2010-11-20 06:56:58 AM
spawn73: I don't get the horse one. If your kid is likely to peel of the fluffy bits and eat it, isn't the kid as likely to eat fluff of the carpet?

Maybe the horse is healthier to eat than the carpet.



Hell I LIKE eating carpet.
 
2010-11-20 06:58:22 AM
Stay Cool Babylon: Do you ever look at a kid's Big Wheel and get the overwhelming urge to shove him aside and take it for a joy ride?

Yes, but then I try to ride it and my knees get stuck under the steering wheel.
 
2010-11-20 06:58:33 AM
Stay Cool Babylon: Do you ever look at a kid's Big Wheel and get the overwhelming urge to shove him aside and take it for a joy ride?

Every time. Little bastards are usually being watched over by at least one mother-vulture, so i haven't had an open opportunity...
 
2010-11-20 07:02:38 AM
Well, I have my Christmas shopping list.

/actually that big bang rocket is kinda cool
 
2010-11-20 07:03:14 AM
cache.boston.com

Also, despite the fact that the toy instructions say that the toy requires the use of a helmet, the child pictured on the box is not wearing any safety gear.

OK... that I can agree with, but it doesn't make it unsafe. Jeez.

I'm pretty sure this list could include every toy ever, if you extrapolate their "concerns". Lego? Choking hazard. Badminton racket? Could cause blunt trauma to the face. Teddy bear? Could soak up spilled sulfuric acid from the floor and cause burns to skin and face.
 
2010-11-20 07:06:16 AM
www.toycannons.ray-vin.com

"Read Instructions Very Carefully"

Right. Children are always careful.

It's amazing I'm still alive.
 
2010-11-20 07:07:04 AM
WATCH notes that this dart gun, which was sold at Toy R Us and made by Wold Planet Entertainment, can shoot two darts at once with enough force to potentially cause eye injuries.

tsk tsk, Toy R Us.
 
2010-11-20 07:08:25 AM
how about those 2 glass balls on a string you bounced off each other at 100 mph right in front of your face. i think they were called clakers or something. recalled after they started exploding and kids were getting glass shrapnel in their face. good times. good times.
 
2010-11-20 07:11:17 AM
HenryFnord: unavailable for comment

Johnny Buzz Magnet?
Johnny Splatblaster?
Johnny Kung Fu Panda?
 
2010-11-20 07:12:15 AM
You know they feed magnets to cows, if you hang around the slaughter house you can get some.
 
2010-11-20 07:16:41 AM
I'm almost stunned by how arbitrary, insufficiently copy-edited, and poorly justified that list is.

If I weren't half-asleep, half-retarded, and busy this morning I'd give the Globe a piece of my mind for publishing it. It seems evident that the extent of the research done by these "W.A.T.C.H." people was "We sent Peggy down to the toy store last week and told her not to leave 'till she'd seen 10 things that might could hurt a kid"
 
2010-11-20 07:17:49 AM
Slideshow TOC:

2: Spy Gear Split-Blaster [original slide here]
3: Supasplat Splatblaster [original slide here]
4: Buzz Magnets [original slide here]
5: Kung Fu Panda Sword of Heroes [original slide here]
6: Ballzillion Tug Boat Play Center [original slide here]
7: My First Mini Cycle [original slide here]
8: Pull Along Caterpillar [original slide here]
9: Animal Alley Pony [original slide here]
10: Big Bang Rocket [original slide here]
11: Walkaroo II Aluminum Stilts [original slide here]

---------------------
whole slideshow on one page^
 
2010-11-20 07:26:38 AM
I wish I had a kid, because I'd be buying every one of those in 1.5 hours when the stores open.

Kids need to understand "danger." That's why morons are all but walking into traffic these days.
 
2010-11-20 07:28:20 AM
Seriously. God we have become mindless pussies.
 
2010-11-20 07:34:57 AM
avictor: Seriously. God we have become mindless pussies.

It's pathetic, isn't it?

I was maybe - MAYBE - three years old and my mom let me play with my brother's Strange Change Machine



That thing got HOT, let me tell you.

Mom said, "Now honey - if you touch that metal part, you'll get a bad burn, so be careful." And I was, for the first hour or so.

Then I got careless and fried my thumb. Oh the tears!

Mom gave me a big hug and said, "You're gonna be careful from now on, aren't you?" Yes ma'am - lesson learned loud and clear!
 
2010-11-20 07:36:34 AM
farkinawsome: how about those 2 glass balls on a string you bounced off each other at 100 mph right in front of your face. i think they were called clakers or something. recalled after they started exploding and kids were getting glass shrapnel in their face. good times. good times.

I had one of those as a kid - they were called Kabonkers and us 9-year-olds would bug the hell out of everyone with them. I'm sure people wanted us to have glass shrapnel face injuries...
 
2010-11-20 07:42:59 AM
Erebus1954: WhyteRaven74: And also time for the annual Fark thread about all the toys we played with as a kid that now you can't even buy.



You can play on my lawn.


/shakes tiny fist at Erebus1954
 
2010-11-20 07:46:07 AM
cache.boston.com

This is more of a hazard to adults who will trip over it.
 
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