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(Local6)   Robber hits same store eight times; only steals Hennessy Cognac   ( divider line
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5328 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2003 at 2:42 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

76 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-07-02 10:53:05 AM  
Heres an idea: take more of that stuff next time you break in, so you can reduce the number of breakins. Or if you hate the place, just use a projectile and knock a few windows, and maybe bottles too out.
2003-07-02 11:59:50 AM  
Police are on the lookout for this man.

[image from too old to be available]
2003-07-02 12:37:38 PM  
After the second time I think I would have installed bars on the windows. Me and my screwed up logic.
2003-07-02 12:51:21 PM  
Why Hennessey? Why not Martel?
2003-07-02 02:44:35 PM  
2003-07-02 02:44:52 PM  
2003-07-02 02:45:38 PM  
The problem is Chastain that they follow him to his house, but when they knock on the door, Shock G is the only one home.

2003-07-02 02:45:48 PM  
Cristal ??

Bling bling, baby...
2003-07-02 02:47:08 PM  
"I'll drink up all the Hennessay you got on your shelf, just let me introduce myself, my name is Humpty....pronounced with an umpty....."
2003-07-02 02:47:51 PM  
Detectives are currently conducting a search of local Burger King Bafrooms
2003-07-02 02:49:07 PM  
Rob me once, shame on you...
Rob me twice, shame on me...
Rob me eight times, shame on my parents for giving birth to me...
2003-07-02 02:49:31 PM  
In other news, a wave of Burger King break-ins is sweeping the nation. Police report that nothing is stolen, but there is sufficient evidence in the fast-food chain's bathrooms of unidentified couples getting busy.
2003-07-02 02:50:44 PM  
It's those damned cognaced-up hippies I tells ya! It's cognac madness!
2003-07-02 02:52:51 PM  
"the suspect was seen leaving the scene in a black Escalade with the license plate "ROL'N ON DUBS"

Bling Blizzle Televizzle
2003-07-02 02:53:07 PM  
a German would never exert the effort required to rob someone eight times, so we can at least cross all of them off the suspect list
2003-07-02 02:53:58 PM  

I'm Burglar the eighth I am,
Burglar the eighth I am, I am;
I broke in to the packie next door,
It's been broken into seven times before;
And every time we took Cognac COGNAC !,
We wouldn't steal a Guiness or a Sam;
It's the eighth time robbed, I'm a Burglar,
Burglar the eighth I am.


2003-07-02 02:54:48 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Not the best, but not bad taste either :)
2003-07-02 02:55:03 PM  
And they say alcohol affects the memory...
2003-07-02 02:56:57 PM  
My wife pimps for Hennessy. Hilarious.

2003-07-02 02:58:38 PM  
No free samples for any of you!
2003-07-02 03:02:40 PM  
I know that owner's nephew. I think I'm going to tell him to smack his uncle in the friggin head and have him take steps to solve this OBVIOUSLY repeatable, simple crime.
2003-07-02 03:03:40 PM  
Maybe they'd be better off taking the $1000 and buying a Better Door
2003-07-02 03:06:49 PM  
Can anyone explain the appeal of Hennessy cognac (or any other kind of cognac) to me? Does it really taste that much better than run-of-the-mill brandy?
2003-07-02 03:07:05 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Courvoisier? Ohhh,
2003-07-02 03:07:09 PM  
'Cavassier? Sheeeeit, that ain't nuthin but another name for Hennessey.'

2003-07-02 03:07:59 PM  
2003-07-02 03:12:17 PM  
Twice in one night ?! Is there some black market in cognac? Or are he and his buddies drinking it down THAT quickly?
2003-07-02 03:12:41 PM  

Unfortunately, there's a security cam pic in the story.

BUT, does anyone else think the guy looks like the spokesperson a while back for Joe Boxer.

Guess they just didn't pay the bilz
2003-07-02 03:13:02 PM  
Korovyov: Maybe they're using it for fuel?
2003-07-02 03:14:03 PM  
In the Viet Nam embassy shops we could get four star for $4.25 a bottle, good stuff.
In the states I have only found three star, which is why I stick to vodka.
Three star is about as bad as bad can get.
2003-07-02 03:14:15 PM  
Cognac is basically brandy that's been distilled from good wine, instead of the usual crap wine most brandy comes from. It also technically needs to come from a certain region of France, but the real difference is in the quality of the wine used.
2003-07-02 03:24:24 PM  
"Um, yes, hello, I would like to return some cognac that I definitely bought here."
2003-07-02 03:26:56 PM  
Hello all you racist pricks? Latin people quaff cognac just as fast as blacks. I am white/Irish and I love Alize, thanks to my Puerto Rican wife.
2003-07-02 03:29:03 PM  
status symbol.
2003-07-02 03:29:08 PM  
I drink icehouse and smoke newport 100's and have for years. The black woman at the circle K asked me why I was trying to be black.


Discuss, since I'm korean, is there an underground thing I should know about?
2003-07-02 03:29:23 PM  
Skinink: Nice rhyme
Even better come back
2003-07-02 03:30:02 PM  
"Not to be racist, but what's with black people and congacs? The store maybe had about 5% black shoppers, but I swear... they bought 95% of the congacs."

Same thing with blacks and Heinekens: we just love to reinforce stereotypes. At home, I usually just drink Cosmopolitans, High Balls and very dry martinis, with my pinkie sticking out.

Honestly, never had cognac. Love Heinekens though; heard it's stronger in Europe.

2003-07-02 03:33:23 PM  
ROFL skinink. Good stuff.
2003-07-02 03:33:55 PM  
Chivas & Milk.
2003-07-02 03:38:10 PM  
I didn't know dad changed his beer prefrence...I tell ya, since mom left, it's all been downhill!
2003-07-02 03:38:29 PM  
Was it you Uglycicles?
2003-07-02 03:42:23 PM  
I work as a bartender to help survive the current economic downturn, and I've noticed that the only orders I get for Hennessey come from young black men. Except for a couple of weeks when that Busta Rhymes song about passing the Couvossier came out, then it was about that.

Black people who come into the bar order lots of other things as well, but no one else orders Hennessey or Courvossier.

Of course, at the bar down the street filled with pasty white republican larval excrement known as the North Virginia young professional, they guzzle enough Coors Light and Jaegermeister to rinse out Rush Limbaugh's cavernous large intestine with a well deserved alcohol enema. I hate that bar.
2003-07-02 03:47:41 PM  
You can probably tell I'm black because I'm asking this question: What the gee-golly hell is a Jaegermeister??
2003-07-02 03:48:05 PM  

The backwards ass rednecks out here will drink nothing but Cerrs laht. I got dragged to one of the local dance halls and was the ONLY one drinking something that wasn't in a silver can.

Of course when I'm in Austin quaffing a Shiner, I am associated with frat assholes....even though I've been drinking it for 2o years...
2003-07-02 03:48:21 PM  
It wasn't me, but I would like to do this to try those top, top shelf cognacs I will never be able to afford to try.
2003-07-02 03:51:38 PM  

I need to rethink my cigs and beer. I'm in north carolina. Marlboro reds and budweiser, here I come! woo hoo!
2003-07-02 03:53:11 PM  
So much for "Pass the Courvoisier", eh?
2003-07-02 03:54:05 PM  
Why doesn't the store owner stop carrying said liquor until the asshat is caught?
Better yet, sit there with a shotgun and wait for the next time.
2003-07-02 03:56:39 PM  
Let me be the first to say:

Pass me da green I need some weed wit my Hennessy

/Master P
2003-07-02 03:59:57 PM  
"Pass me the glass cutter, I need some free farking Hennessy!"
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