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(CNN)   Laura Bush posts info about surprise birthday party for President Bush during an Internet chat session. "Shhh, it's a secret" she says to America   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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15368 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2003 at 7:29 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

251 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-07-01 07:04:13 PM  
"We got him the country of Iraq! Sssh!"
2003-07-01 07:16:02 PM  
So, his suprise party would be as phony as everything else about him.
2003-07-01 07:19:05 PM  
I hate them.
2003-07-01 07:56:46 PM  
I'll bring the hookers and blow.
2003-07-01 11:39:44 PM  
Room full of people leap our from behind curatins yelling "surprise!" Secret Service leads 'em away in handcuffs. Surprise!
2003-07-02 12:27:12 AM  
Cue Marylin singing, "Happy Birthday, Mr. President"
2003-07-02 02:00:16 AM  
That's my Bush!
2003-07-02 02:52:32 AM  
Ick. That would be pretty damn creepy, Quick1. I hope there aren't any zombies singing at MY birthday party.
2003-07-02 04:10:50 AM  
robbyking: I hate them.

Jealousy doesn't become you.
2003-07-02 04:38:45 AM  
A birthday party without zombies is no party at all.
2003-07-02 07:32:14 AM  
I'll bring the hookers and blow.

Hmmm...more than one way to read that.
2003-07-02 07:33:21 AM  
Blanket party?
2003-07-02 07:34:20 AM  
That's ok, he doesn't read the papers anyway.
2003-07-02 07:35:15 AM  
Well, now that it has been posted on Fark I am fairly sure he knows about it now.
2003-07-02 07:37:05 AM  
Wow! Now THIS is NEWS!
2003-07-02 07:37:46 AM  
That's ok, he doesn't read the papers anyway.

no, that's ok, he can't read. (fullstop) anyway.
2003-07-02 07:38:27 AM  
Bush turns 57 on July 6.

Gee, he's only 6 years older than me and working on world domination, and I havn't even got to running a small dictatorship yet..gotta get moving...
2003-07-02 07:38:49 AM  
hope she didn't hide his birthday presents, the CIA will never find'em, even though they are 100% positive that said presents exsist.
2003-07-02 07:39:53 AM  

That was some funny shiat!

2003-07-02 07:45:05 AM  
Quick1 - Cue Marylin singing, "Happy Birthday, Mr. President"

2003-07-02 07:45:36 AM  
Let's all club together and get him a Segway and a big bag of pretzels.
2003-07-02 07:47:53 AM  
Yup, as long as this remains only on current events or news sites, magazines, and papers, Dubya will be completely in the dark. Laura only needs to worry if TNN decides to put it in some sort of news ticker that appears during reruns of HeeHaw or the Dukes of Hazard.
2003-07-02 07:52:58 AM  
Gosh - someone even dumber than the president! Who'd thought?
2003-07-02 07:53:16 AM  
Now that the kitty is out of the bag, duya think Billary will crash the party?
2003-07-02 07:54:48 AM  
The Datalounge recently did a very funny thread where people spoof excerpts from Laura Bush's upcoming book, "Reading History":

Excerpts from First Lady Laura Bush's new book "Reading History" reveal a facinating look at life in the White House during the most important time in our history.
March 2003: I spent the morning reading "The Brothers Karamazov" while George ran around the West Wing in his flight suit. He had so much fun bursting into Karl Rove's office yelling "Maverick, it's time to separate the sissies from the boys!" In the afternoon Jenna and Barbara called about some silly problem with a dorm mate. As caring parents George and I listened for 30 seconds then said "Love you both" and George had to leave to take his nap and I had to get a color touch up.

April 2003: Ari Fleischer told us this morning that he is leaving in the summer. Lynne Cheney called me later on and told me to make sure that Ari doesn't take any presidential pens or stationery with him. What a fuss budget she can be. I reminded her that the important thing to focus on was not office supplies but the fact that Ari straightened himself out and married a nice heterosexual girl. Something must have clicked because a few weeks later Lynne's daughter left her job and went up to the mountains to live with BigFoot until the next election.

May 2003: George and I went to the Middle East to finally bring peace. I had a nice meeting with Mrs. Sharon. She told me that her husband told her that Whitney Huston and Bobby Brown smelled bad. I told her that we must learn to be tolerant of black peoples smell. I told her that when I was teaching in the public schools I used to spray the cloak room with Old Spice. It made it really smell better. Then Mrs. Sharon gave me two books of ancient Israel writers. It was a nice gesture. Of course George and I would never read anything written by Jesus killers so we took the books home and gave them to Ari as a going away present.

2003-07-02 07:55:11 AM  
Not that I'm a Bush booster, but the true idiota is the person submitted this link. Obviously, you can't throw a surprise anything for the POTUS, and LB was making a small joke about how every minute detail of their lives is carefully controlled and planned.

But please, insult away, I'm sure you're all much, much smarter than everyone else.
2003-07-02 07:58:00 AM  
The apple doesn't fall far from the bush.
2003-07-02 07:58:32 AM  
A birthday party without zombies is no party at all.

Well, since Laura always looks like she's zonked on Xanax, I think she'll do.
2003-07-02 07:58:47 AM  
"On our second date George took me to the Midland Putt Putt. He couldn't understand why there were no caddies. "You mean we are expected to carry our own clubs?" So adorable. He told me that his mother was related to a president. I said I knew all about his family history. Everybody in Midland knew about the Bushes. George couldn't remember which president was a distant cousin of his mother. "Frankin Pierce," I told him. He had a blank look on his face. "You're mother is Barbara Pierce Bush. Her distant relative was Franklin Pierce." Still the blank look as he swung at his ball and maimed a little girl playing on the hole ahead of us. "Who?" he asked. "President Franklin Pierce," I said. "I never heard of him. My Mamma is related to George Washington. That's why I'm named George. I'm named after George Washington."
2003-07-02 07:59:40 AM  
Oh yes, I'm sure Mrs Bush was seriously trying to keep this party a big secret. I'm sure she figured no one on the *planet* would tell him. And I'm sure he has plenty of time for a real surprise party:

"Good Morning, Mr President; this morning you're scheduled to have breakfast with the Prime Minister of Moldavia, then you have a conference call with the Premier of China, brunch with Mrs Bush, then your surprise birthday party from 12:15 - 12:30."

"Please clear out this afternoon so we can bomb Iran into the stone age."

"Will do, sir."
2003-07-02 08:02:06 AM  
burnt toast

"Obviously, you can't throw a surprise anything for the POTUS, and LB was making a small joke about how every minute detail of their lives is carefully controlled and planned."

Yeah, I think everyone who read the article realizes that. We just came here for the zombie jokes.

/would love to see Marilyn Manson pop out of a cake
2003-07-02 08:02:11 AM  
uillchi: Hillariousicious!
2003-07-02 08:03:56 AM  
To find anyone allegedly dumber than the president, you need not go any further than this forum or this particular thread.

[image from too old to be available]
2003-07-02 08:04:42 AM  
Yeah, but she might have done a little 'uh oh' by committing them to visit GB this fall...
2003-07-02 08:05:11 AM  

Are you implying that you can't hate someone without being jealous of them? Are you jealous of Stalin? This is the new neocon rebuttal along with "Class Warfare"...
2003-07-02 08:05:23 AM  
tfondren, i'm stealing that.
2003-07-02 08:06:59 AM  
Shame on the arsehole who labeled this story with the 'dumbass' tag.

It's nice to FINALLY have a First Lady in the White House deserving the title 'Lady'.

2003-07-02 08:09:54 AM  

Yeah, I'm sure she had her little finger in the air when she killed that man with her car...
2003-07-02 08:10:26 AM  
Most questions [Laura Bush] answered had to do with the former teacher and librarian's pet topic: encouraging reading, especially among children.
yeah, she tried the adult literacy thing on her husband, but he kept grabbing her ass and getting all distracted....

2003-07-02 08:10:44 AM  
damn, isn't there anything else going on worthy of a posting than this!!
2003-07-02 08:11:01 AM  
Fvck the Osbournes, lets get the Bushs' on prime time. Think of the hours of mindless hilarity that could ensue!
2003-07-02 08:12:09 AM  
I have a thing for first ladies.
2003-07-02 08:16:31 AM  
tfondren - what in the name of sweet christ does a guy leaning on a filing cabinet with a styrofoam cup, looking at his watch have ANYTHING to do with asking someone to STFU?
2003-07-02 08:19:07 AM  
Why is it, I get the feeling the Waltons are running the country, only they have been sniffing gas and lowered their IQs to that of the average house cat. I wonder if the daughters are like this?
2003-07-02 08:19:48 AM Office Space and STFU.

2003-07-02 08:19:50 AM  
"Let's all club together and get him a Segway and a big bag of pretzels."

*wiping tears from my eyes*
2003-07-02 08:21:18 AM  
tfondren: That's totally unfair to farkers.

Everyone who has nearly killed themselves while eating in the past year please raise your hand.

Everyone who has fallen off a segway, please raise your hand.

Everyone who, in everyday speech, uses words like "misunderestimate" or thinks 'Is" is plural (is our children...) please raise your hand.

Face it, there are no farkers here dumber than the president, except (maybe) the ones defending him. He's just a clueless figurehead.
2003-07-02 08:22:59 AM  
BTW, there was meant to be a tag at the end of my last post for Cormee.

2003-07-02 08:23:18 AM  

Well said that man!

2003-07-02 08:26:01 AM  
It's a wind-up. The surprise is that there isn't a party.
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