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Big flap over vaginal surgeries, Phil Collins' su-su-suicidal thoughts, and you never go d'k-tahg-to-mouth: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 11/7 - 11/12 Posted by Drew at 2010-11-16 2:35:05 PM (24 comments) | Permalink More: FarkBlog
From Unfreakable: No posting this week, enjoy the headlines. Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-11-07 to Sat 2010-11-12:  Playing Mozart over mall speakers shown to cut crime. Similar experiment playing Shubert remains unfinished   Australia in a big flap over increase in vaginal surgery  Cops arrest driver who threw potato at a pedestrian who did not have her eyes peeled. Story to the left, common taters to the right  In astounding display of masochism, black man vows to fight for minority whip  Stoned Bears in Yellowstone. EVERYBODY PICNIC  Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, and broke his crown, and Jill was sentenced to hang for defaming the prophet Muhammed Alabama sex toy store opens drive-thru service. Most people remarked how small the Japanese cars were, how black cars weren't any bigger than white ones, and wondered why 1 in 10 tried to drive through backwards Boeing 787 on test flight makes emergency landing in Laredo TX, is immediately stripped and left up on blocks  Man purposely sets himself on fire outside doctors' clinic. Friends insist he was not depressed, claim he always lights up a room Community Chest: Shot in groin while playing Monopoly. Pay hospital $100  Teen admits he made up story about fending off bear with pocket knife. Police became suspicious when he said he fended off a bear with a pocket knife Sports: Cowboys' team website vanishes as they are unable to string together three Ws Lions sign ex-Spartan kicker, quickly fill any bottomless pits in the area  A source is a source of course, of course, and no one questions a source of course. That is, of course, unless the source is the famous ESPN Geek: Scientists discover that the human brain responds differently based on the proximity, direction and the size of the TARANTULA  Twin volcanoes erupt in Kamchatka. Rescuers from Indonesia expected to get there in four turns Venom may aid muscular dystrophy, punch Peter Parker in the face Showbiz:  "Days of Our Lives" renewed for another two years by the executive producer's evil twin brother Rosario Dawson wants to be a Klingon. You never go d'k-tahg-to-mouth  Katy Perry barely covers her cleavage with microwave newspaper turquoise giraffe popsicle haberdasher Politics:  I see your WWII-era Soviet anti-tank dog and raise you a terrorist dog. Your dog wants death to all wh--SQUIRREL Obama has rare opportunity to reshape Pentagon. I'm thinking dodecahedron Rush Limbaugh interviews George W. Bush, throws more softballs than the Lesbian World Series Music: Michael Jackson's children recall their father fondledly Phil Collins admits having su-su-suicidal thoughts Jack White will reteam with Meg White's breasts and record a new White Stripes record Business: Rolls Royce shares plummet like a Qantas A380 Money concerns had no role in the Deepwater Horizon disaster. BP was far too busy thinking about safety, the environment, clean energy, and sea turtles to even *think* about money. So are we done here, or what? French company introduces lingerie held together with magnets. Reaction has been both positive and negative 24 Comments (+0 »)
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