So... Sean Hannity hears voices in his head?

/I always wondered what the fark was wrong with that loud, fat former bartender.

My Republican sources tell me that Hannity is so full of shiat that he regularly farts through the pores in his thin, pale skin.

Faces on the walls
Invisible faces on the walls
Faces of animals
Faces of criminals
Faces all over the wall
Telling me to cut up your corpse
Telling me to paint in your blood
Telling me to slice up your face

Faces all over the wall
Telling me to paint in your blood
But I don't listen to them
No, I don't listen to them
No, I don't listen to them
...Because I love you

- King Missile

AdolfOliverPanties: Why would Democrats tell Sean Hannity anything other than "fark off?"

He's mistaking the "democrats inside his head" for real ones again. Somebody get his medication refilled again please.

Quasar: He's unhinged AND detached?

Is he also a cold-blooded hothead and overcompromising divider?

IS HE A JUMBO SHRIMP?!

No, but he's a communist fascist.

Unhinged, detached, obsessed with critics, hates Biden, and hates the Clinton?

...were your sources actually talking about Glenn Beck?

Sean Hannity is saying it?

Easy to conclude that Obama is hinged, unobsessed with critics and inviting the Biden family over for a private Thanksgiving dinner.

Perhaps we can get confirmation. Can we get William Kristol to back up Hannity's statement?

the leprechaun tells me to burn things

For the record, he is also a lewdatual podiatist, a persnicuous lube-sopper, and an ambisexual walnut.

Republicans that cue me into things told me that Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck liked to hang out together back in 1990.

Jackson Herring: what_now: A top Republican strategist told me that Sean Hannity eats his own poop.

I heard from a staffer in the Obama administration that Sean Hannity not only eats his own poop, he poops it out and then eats the poop that is made up of his previous poop.

My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Obama punch a kitten near 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

mahuika: Unhinged, detached, obsessed with critics, hates Biden, and hates the Clinton?

...were your sources actually talking about Glenn Beck

+ has a nervous breakdown whenever someone brings him news about the economy. Yeah, this definitely was about Beck.

It must be great to get paid to lie and make up stories for a living... Assuming you can sleep at night.

skyotter: the leprechaun tells me to burn things

In my house we call them "uh-ohs"!

JohnFernelius: It must be great to get paid to lie and make up stories for a living... Assuming you can sleep at night.

Bedtime stories are almost always fantasy based fiction.

A little birdie tells me that when he's alone Obama cuts himself, then cries.

Pants full of macaroni!!: For the record, he is also a lewdatual podiatist, a persnicuous lube-sopper, and an ambisexual walnut.

He also lollygags the ball around the infield. He lollygags his way down to first. He lollygags in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes him? A lollygagger!

A top source recently told me that Hannity enjoys eating jam out of Limbaugh's bunghole.

Truthiness.

Tomorrow on Fark...

Lindsey Lohan says: White House sources tell me Obama is a pill-popping, faux-lesbian attention whore!

kingflower: A top source recently told me that Hannity enjoys eating jam out of Limbaugh's bunghole.

Truthiness.

It's not jam, but other than that your source is right on the money.

Fox News employees tell me that Sean Hannity is into uncircumcised pre-op trannies with Sharpie Marker eyebrows.

I also heard that Subby is a convicted tier 3 sex offender.

Hannity also told me Obama was taking 34 warships to India.

bikerific: Hannity also told me Obama was taking 34 warships to India.

That is an OUTRAGEOUS use of taxpayer money! I am outraged!@!!

You look just like a zombie,
Inches from dead and pretty,
With purple flowers in your hair
I hear the angels crying just as the devil smiles
All the little pigs will die tonight

Chloroform girl how have you been?
Don't let me catch you sleeping again
You're only alive because I like you
It's been 3 years since you've seen the sunlight
But I know you're having fun
Bound, gagged and chained up in my basement

Jackson Herring: Sean Hannity not only eats his own poop, he poops it out and then eats the poop that is made up of his previous poop.

Then he takes the previous poop and feeds it to his audience every night. They lick their chops and say, MMMM Fair and Balanced."

I heard that Obama picks up Mexicans at Home Depot and pays them to choke him in the shower.

Bag of Hammers: I also heard that Subby is a convicted tier 3 sex offender.

My sources down at the sheriff's dept. have told me something similar. On condition of anonymity, of course.