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(Fox News)   Mac n' Cheese and Oreo maker Kraft to cut portion sizes due to parents refusing to regulate their children's diets   ( divider line
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8581 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jul 2003 at 3:37 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2003-07-01 11:08:32 AM  
Mom always taught me never to take fatty, sugary treats in single-serving portions from major corporations I don't know. One time, when I was 12, I went to the mall to see "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and afterwards, in the parking lot while my friend Dudley and I waited for his mom to pick us up, a Regional Sales Representative of the Nabisco Corporation pulled up in a van and asked me if I wanted some Lunchables and would I help him find his lost doggie. I ran to a safe place, but Dudley went with him. The Nabisco guy made Dudley watch pornographic cartoons, fed him Wheat Thins, and then made him play Jungle Warriors without his shirt in the shower. Dudley's dad called the police, and we all learned a valuable lesson. Ever since then, when I see an Oreo, I tremble. Then I pretty much eat it anyway.
2003-07-01 12:53:39 PM  
Any bets on whether or not the lower the price of the smaller portions?

Somehow I don't imagine Kraft is thinking of the children on this one.

2003-07-01 01:06:21 PM  
It is not Mac and Cheese, call it by its proper name KRAFT DINNER

especially on Canada Day
2003-07-01 02:31:57 PM  
3Horn wins.
2003-07-01 03:39:11 PM  
Is it just me or do parents seem to suck more and more lately?
2003-07-01 03:41:11 PM  
wyounggw, yep.

if kraft actually does care about the kids, they should know that if the parents don't know enough to keep and eye on what their kids eat that they won't give a flying fark what the serving size suggested, then AND now. they'll probably just dump a whole box of mac and cheese in a pot and say dinner is served.

/sympathizes with fat kids
2003-07-01 03:41:25 PM  
It's not just you, wyounggw...

Fark really needs a "pathetic" tag.
2003-07-01 03:42:05 PM  

You win for best post ever on fark...

Silly Canadians... now how long until someone mentions "Searching for treas-a?"

er...wait, I just did.
2003-07-01 03:42:14 PM  
That's only because you never hear about the good parents; They're too busy doing their job.
2003-07-01 03:42:27 PM  
1/2 the portion x 2x the price= lots of profit!
2003-07-01 03:43:21 PM  
It's cheese and macaroni! Iv'e got the blue box blues.
2003-07-01 03:43:30 PM  
And in other news: Profits are up again at Kraft.
2003-07-01 03:43:37 PM  
Hey wyounggw, I go to GW too, although I'm not there for the summer. Go us!

And I agree, corporations suck. I want more food for my money, not less.
2003-07-01 03:44:00 PM  
"Chocolate death sugar flakes are part of this complete breakfast."

[scene shows 1oz bowl of CDSFs along with seven grapefruits, five glasses of OJ, and a tomato]
2003-07-01 03:44:28 PM  
Mac n' Cheese Delight

1 box of Kraft Mac n' Cheese Dinner
2 hot dogs (sliced)

Prepare Mac n' Cheese by following directions on box.
Add chopped hot dogs.
Continue cooking over low heat until hot dogs are warmed through.

Serves 1 (or 2) poor ass-college students.

/speaks from experience
2003-07-01 03:44:48 PM  
genetically engineered fat kids....fuel for the future
2003-07-01 03:45:07 PM  
This is about selling more product. Smaller Packages means that families will have to buy more to fill the plates and the company ain't gonna drop the price in equal relation to the drop in size.
Anybody buying into this "For the Health of Our Consumer" crap is stoned.
2003-07-01 03:45:18 PM  
why is this sad? it's great. if parents won't help our farkin' huge society why not let the food corporations?
2003-07-01 03:45:30 PM  
Fat Bastards and Asshole Parents
2003-07-01 03:45:50 PM  
Who really follows the "suggested serving size" on anything? I feed my kids healthy foods, and I let them eat all they want, and then they go outside and run around for hours and they're fine.

It's not the amount the kids are eating, it's that they're eating a bunch of sugar-laden crap and then sitting in front of the TV all day.
2003-07-01 03:46:12 PM  
Why would cutting portion size make a difference? The people will just get two of them and eat the same amount. Plus isn't this what companies always do, cut the portion and keep the price the same or raise it? Good of Kraft to do it all in the name of "helping the kids!" Gay.
2003-07-01 03:46:21 PM  
3horn There is also no doubt in my mind that the prices are staying the same.
2003-07-01 03:47:02 PM  
In other news, a can of Coca-Cola will now be said to contain 13 servings instead of 1.5
2003-07-01 03:47:31 PM  
Selling more product or boosting the price while shrinking the portions are both nice side benefits, but this decision is driven by the lawyers.
2003-07-01 03:47:50 PM  
"If I had a million dollars, we wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner"
2003-07-01 03:47:55 PM  
Hey, half the days of the week dinner usually is a pot of mac 'n cheese. It rounds out my meals that cost under .75$. Scrambled eggs, mac 'n cheese, grilled cheese.

Behold the future: You don't have to take care of yourself, we'll just market everything and tell you exactly what to do and eat. If we don't you can just sue us.

Stupid kids need to go outside and do something instead of vegetating like the pathetic little farks they are. Same goes for the parents.
2003-07-01 03:48:12 PM  
Yep... profits are up at Kraft again.

In other news, parents start feeding their kids more than one box of Kraft Dinner in order to compensate for smaller portions.
2003-07-01 03:48:51 PM  
Prices will go up because its the Diet Kraft Dinner.
2003-07-01 03:49:26 PM  

Another fine recipe:

1 box of whatever Mac and Cheese you dig/was on sale
1 can tuna (in water)
1/2 cup frozen peas
1/2 cup frozen corn

If you can't figure out how to cook these ingredients, please stay out of the kitchen.
2003-07-01 03:49:39 PM  

"said this year it will develop a range of standards to improve the overall nutritional content of its products and the way it sells them".

Ummm...don't we buy oreos because we like the way they taste? I can't remember the last time I ate an oreo and actually gave a crap about the nutritional value. What is happening to America?

2003-07-01 03:50:13 PM  
I have an idea.. how about we put less food in our meals, charge the same amount for it and say we are doing it to 'promote the health of our nation's children'. Brilliant!
2003-07-01 03:50:14 PM  
Uh-Oh.... Time to stock up before these wimpy, lame-arse, no self control, it's Krafts fault my kids are fat, tiny-tots size things show up on the shelf.

The Apocolypse draws near!

oh-wait. I still have three cases of the shiat from my Y2K stash.
2003-07-01 03:50:52 PM  
Yea, great idea, lets sue the food companies out of existance. Not like we need them or anything. Be sure to take care of the water company and gas company while your at it. I didnt need to drink or stay warm either.

I'm just waiting for someone to sue the concrete industry, because their product is hard people hurt themselves when they fall on it. We all know its coming to that.
2003-07-01 03:50:55 PM  
"It is not Mac and Cheese, call it by its proper name KRAFT DINNER
especially on Canada Day"

I'll second that

/happens to love kraft dinner. 'specially with cut up hot dogs in it
2003-07-01 03:51:16 PM  
I think the real problem is that over 50% of the calories in their food is from fat, and bad fat at that. In a hotdog, it's around 100%.

Also, anything that provides upward of 30% of your daily sodium intake in a single 1/2 cup serving can't be good.

My rule of thumb is that the more something is processed, the less nutricious it is.
2003-07-01 03:51:33 PM  
03:42:14 PM Homercles778

That's only because you never hear about the good parents; They're too busy doing their job.

2003-07-01 03:51:53 PM  
So basically what is going to happen is...I'm going to eat the whole damn pot of cheesy goodness or the entire bag of Chips Ahoy and look at the label and say "Fark, that should have served four instead of one!" instead of my usual "Fark! That should have served three instead of one!"

Is that it? Or will I have to buy two bags now and eat them both?

Not that I've ever done that before.
2003-07-01 03:51:57 PM  
Stuid parents and their stupid fat kids.
A german chick here asked me if it was true that some woman sued mcdonalds for making her kid fat, i said it was, she laughed.
Then when she realized i wasnt kidding she just kind of stared blankly.

I wanna sue the old gramma that made my blanket cause last night i was really cold and it made me somewhat uncomfortable. I could say i didnt sleep well and it made me cranky, and then i could say because i was cranky i insulted a grizzly trucker man, and because of that i was beaten up(which isnt true, but if im sure i would win the case, i can pay someone to beat me up im sure). All cause of the cold blanket.
I wonder if that would work...
2003-07-01 03:52:18 PM  
pussycat, its sad that kraft had to do it and not the parents

at least thats how i read the headline
2003-07-01 03:52:25 PM  
2003-07-01 03:45:18 PM pussycat

why is this sad? it's great. if parents won't help our farkin' huge society why not let the food corporations?

It's sad because of the legal responsibility that Kraft feels they have to reduce portion sizes. Not only is our society huge, but we have zero sense of personal responsibility. How is it Kraft's fault that they've provided a product, but a vast number of people in this society doesn't give a flying fark about moderation. They eat a box of Oreos every day, balloon up to 400 lbs, then blame the Oreos, and sue Kraft (or McDonald's) as opposed to the real culprit - their own gluttony.

2003-07-01 03:54:28 PM  

Come on now. What's wrong with eating oreo cookies?

cough, em....fatasses, ahem...

[image from too old to be available]

2003-07-01 03:54:42 PM  
Personal responsibility surrenders.
2003-07-01 03:54:49 PM  
Why not call it "Fat and Carbs - Together again!"
2003-07-01 03:55:02 PM  
Don't forget the "really expensive ketchups - like Dijon Ketchup."
2003-07-01 03:55:05 PM  
Anybody buying into this "For the Health of Our Consumer" crap is stoned.

It's just the standard "we'll do as minimal as necessary to keep from looking bad in the press". Common practice by corporations and politicians.
2003-07-01 03:55:52 PM  
Personal responsibility surrenders.
2003-07-01 03:56:09 PM  
Will it still fulfill my Daily Recomended Allowance of shiat?
2003-07-01 03:56:19 PM  
In more other news, Drew Curtis will cut down on Boobies links out of concern for worker's time spent browsing Fark on company time. No word on whether he'll reduce Fark membership costs in relation.
2003-07-01 03:57:34 PM  
This is a big 'so what'. They can shrink the portion size down to the size of 3 atoms if they like but people will still eat until gorged.
2003-07-01 03:58:15 PM  
An observation:

Ever notice that the majority of white people eat Mac n' Cheese as a complete meal, and our African American brothers and sisters eat it as a compliment to a meal? Now, they've got it right. Nothing beats a plate full of roasted turkey, some mashed taters, turnip greens, and a big 'ol pile of baked mac n' cheese.

/loves teh southern cookin'
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