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(stltoday.com)   Man walking along bank of Missouri River sinks up to his ass in mud, spends several hours screaming "Hey, man..." before being discovered   (stltoday.com) divider line 50
    More: Dumbass  
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9578 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jul 2003 at 4:21 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2003-07-01 09:48:02 AM  
Thats not mud.

Thats poop.
 
2003-07-01 04:06:44 PM  
Luckily he waited long enough to be rescued before attempting to amputate the lower half of his body.
 
2003-07-01 04:24:34 PM  
Um, why the use of the dumbass tag? Wow, he sank into mud. What a fool.
 
2003-07-01 04:26:00 PM  
e-man: You are evil. :)
 
2003-07-01 04:26:32 PM  
Why the smiley?
 
2003-07-01 04:27:38 PM  
Not only is this not "news", I think it barely qualifies as "Fark".
 
2003-07-01 04:28:21 PM  
"...but, first, a number.."
"A number, sir?"
"Yeah, c'mon, it's in your blood, boy..."


/obscure?
 
2003-07-01 04:29:03 PM  
After several hours in the mud, I betcha that homeless man never smelled better ...
 
2003-07-01 04:29:16 PM  
"I'm pretty sure I can struggle my way out. First I'll just reach in and pull my legs out, now I'll pull my arms out with my face."

*blub-blub*
 
2003-07-01 04:31:23 PM  
Dumbass?

From the article: Fire department spokesman, "It's just nasty, sloppy riverbank mud that anybody could get stuck in"
 
2003-07-01 04:32:05 PM  
Things turned out OK for the homeless man.

Something about that sentence just doesn't seem right.
 
2003-07-01 04:32:15 PM  
I'm gonna go smear mud on my ass...


What?!

I said my buds in class, I gotta go see how his grades are. Go away leave me alone!
 
2003-07-01 04:33:11 PM  
Um.. the second part really caught my attention.


An 81-year-old man from Caseyville was struck by a car and fatally injured about 12:30 a.m. Sunday as he was crossing a street while driving a three-wheel cart for the disabled, authorities said. The motorist was not charged.



WTF


Not charged?!
With anything? Oh, say, vehicular homicide?!
 
2003-07-01 04:33:29 PM  
Trapped in a M.U.D.! Oh,the horror.

/j/k,lame I know.
 
2003-07-01 04:33:54 PM  
Bass555

De Camptown Ladies?
 
2003-07-01 04:33:59 PM  
what a stick in the mud
 
2003-07-01 04:34:18 PM  
I'll charge that motorist with a farking battering ram. You don't just kill old guys and get away with it. Farking asshat.
 
2003-07-01 04:35:28 PM  
A cure for the homeless perhaps?

(I got my ticket to hell a long time ago)
 
2003-07-01 04:35:55 PM  
"Man in cart for disabled is fatally injured by car"

Hmm. He got his free Rascal.
 
2003-07-01 04:37:09 PM  
My name is Mud
Not to be confused with neither Jack Neither Dennis
My name is, its always been
 
2003-07-01 04:39:14 PM  
Nightsweat: Not quite. Hint: Quote was from popular TV show
 
2003-07-01 04:40:48 PM  
"Fatally injured"?

Whatever happened to "killed"? Cripes. Tell it like it is.
 
2003-07-01 04:41:01 PM  
M.A.S.H. when Sherman Potter makes a reappearance as a loony general gonna shut down the 4077.
 
2003-07-01 04:41:55 PM  
oh, that was for bass555 what do I win?
 
2003-07-01 04:42:17 PM  
erm, [b]fatally [i]injured[/i][/b] ?
 
2003-07-01 04:42:33 PM  
I bet that's the worst case of "Bud Mud" that homeless guy ever encountered after a night of drinking.
 
2003-07-01 04:43:20 PM  
RichPoorBoy: You, my friend, are now the proud owner of a kudo...
 
2003-07-01 04:45:59 PM  
Half a kudo bass555 I farked it up. He just wanted them to move closer to the front.

"M.A.S.H. stands for MOBILE Army Surgical Hospital"

-evil Sherman Potter twin
 
Xur
2003-07-01 04:47:55 PM  
We don't know much about the accident. If the guy driving the car was approaching an intersection at the legal limit, and this old guy zipped out into the street on his motorized doohicky against the light and got hit, it would hardly be the driver's fault. If the driver stopped immediately and tried to render aid, I don't see how he could be charged with anything in that scenario.
 
2003-07-01 04:55:30 PM  
e-man-

Actually, by the time rescuers found him he had already amputated both arms and was contemplating what and how to amputate next.

A little trick to remember what to do in an emergency:

"If you're stuck, you're out of luck.
So don't just wait. Amputate!

You're not through, not quite yet.
Until you've applied your tourniquet!"

If you need something to tide you over until rescuers arrive, severed limbs are made of meat and are chock full of nutrition!
 
2003-07-01 04:58:01 PM  
Aloysius Devadander Abercrombie my name is mud.
 
2003-07-01 05:03:00 PM  
bass555

M*A*S*H. Harry Morgan playing General Steele, talking to the black chopper pilot.
 
2003-07-01 05:05:18 PM  
"...not to be confused with Bill or Jack or Pete or Dennis"
 
2003-07-01 05:06:54 PM  
 
2003-07-01 05:11:38 PM  
"H E Y M A N ! ! ! !"

"somebody scratch my balls!"
 
2003-07-01 05:16:13 PM  
Poor bastard...his life is full of curveballs. First your homeless, second you get stuck ass-deep in mud, whats next? My money is on human lightning rod.
 
2003-07-01 05:20:19 PM  
It's a trap!
 
2003-07-01 05:24:20 PM  
reminds me of pitfall or superpitfall. that game was great.
 
2003-07-01 05:24:34 PM  
Didn't want to cross that bridge at rush hour? That's probably the safest time, the traffic barely creeps along. All those yuppies that work downtown, but don't want to live in the same county as St. Louis.
 
2003-07-01 05:27:55 PM  
If he thought he was going to die, he could have sang this song.

"Black Muddy River"
Words by Robert Hunter; music by Jerry Garcia
Copyright Ice Nine Publishing; used by permission.

When the last rose of summer pricks my finger
And the hot sun chills me to the bone
When I can't hear the song for the singer
And I can't tell my pillow from a stone

I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And sing me a song of my own
I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And sing me a song of my own

When the last bolt of sunshine hits the mountain
And the stars start to splatter in the sky
When the moon splits the southwest horizon
With the scream of an eagle on the fly

I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And listen to the ripples as they moan
I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And sing me a song of my own

Black muddy river
Roll on forever
I don't care how deep or wide
If you got another side
Roll muddy river
Roll muddy river
Black muddy river roll

When it seems like the night will last forever
And there's nothing left to do but count the years
When the strings of my heart start to sever
And stones fall from my eyes instead of tears

I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And dream me a dream of my own
I will walk alone by the black muddy river
And sing me a song of my own
And sing me a song of my own
 
2003-07-01 05:40:37 PM  
Things turned out OK for the homeless man, who was released from the hospital after being treated at an area hospital for exhaustion and exposure to heat.

/Department of Redundancy Department
 
2003-07-01 05:48:10 PM  
Homeless guy is sinkin, man, and he don't wanna swiiim.
 
2003-07-01 05:49:05 PM  
If there's a man stuck in the mud yelling "hey man!" and no one is around to hear it, is he really yelling "hey man"?
 
2003-07-01 06:01:47 PM  
Yeah it's really nice of some of you guys... zzeuss and deevo to go biatching about how unfair it is that the driver isn't charged with anything. How much about that case do you know? The guy was 81 years old. Theres a damn good chance he crossed that street without noticing the car that was too close to stop in time. The article says nothing about alcohol, carelessness, or attempts to drive away from the scene. He's already going to have the guilt of ending someone's life. No point in punishing him for something that, as far as you know, isn't his fault. Asshats.
 
2003-07-01 06:05:27 PM  
Not charged?!
With anything? Oh, say, vehicular homicide?!


The driver wasn't charged with anything most likely because the man was probably crossing in the middle of the street or where there was no crosswalk, and the driver didn't see him. It obviously wasn't at a signal or he would have been charged. Vehicular homicide is intentional. I'm sure the driver didn't hit the old coot on purpose, and it's not like he fled the scene. That bishop in Phoenix wouldn't have been charged with anything after he hit that guy if he hadn't fled the scene.
 
2003-07-01 06:30:16 PM  
Dolfin

Thank you thank you thank you for the laugh
 
2003-07-01 07:20:36 PM  
I had my hands in the river, my feet back up on the banks looked up to the Lord above and said, "Hey man, thanks"

/Hip
 
2003-07-01 09:10:00 PM  
He should have cut his legs off.
 
2003-07-01 10:38:53 PM  
Come back to 3k Cletus!!

/obscure refrence
 
2003-07-01 10:51:53 PM  
Must be a slow news day.
 
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