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(   Car thief locks himself in car. Hilarity ensues   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
•       •       •

9868 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2003 at 6:29 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

56 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-06-30 04:47:20 PM  
Don't you mean Jailarity?

Thank you.
2003-06-30 05:01:38 PM  
Ooh, what about carlarity ensues?? oh man, that's funny!
2003-06-30 05:09:41 PM  

Seriously.. this -larity thing is like going to school in the summertime, No class!
2003-06-30 06:28:01 PM  
No classarity?
2003-06-30 06:31:21 PM  
I got a bad case of syphilisilarity.
2003-06-30 06:32:10 PM  
Good thing the windows were down or he could have suffocated.

2003-06-30 06:33:05 PM  
How Stupid does one have to be to lock themselves in a car?
2003-06-30 06:33:33 PM  
is this what they mean by car jacking
2003-06-30 06:33:52 PM  
inside? couldn't he just, you know, unlock it and get out?
2003-06-30 06:33:57 PM  
Was he jacking?

I got nuthin' either
2003-06-30 06:34:23 PM  
He's so stupid for picking a beamer.
2003-06-30 06:35:18 PM  
Anyone else find the article lacking in detailarity?
2003-06-30 06:36:34 PM  
"At last, I was able to ride a BMW," Altura said

I'd say the car took him for a ride, stupid farker!!
2003-06-30 06:37:59 PM  
oh and by saying "able to ride a BMW" does this mean it was a motorcycle, cause that would be some funny sheeet, getting trapped on a motorcycle!!
2003-06-30 06:38:33 PM  
Maybe the actress was too good for manual locks.
2003-06-30 06:40:32 PM  
ummmmm.....try breakin the window to get out. without keys, how did he get in in the 1st place unless the window was already broken?
2003-06-30 06:42:01 PM  
exactly how does one get oneself locked INSIDE a car?
2003-06-30 06:43:03 PM  
The new BMW, now with child safety locks on all doors!
2003-06-30 06:44:01 PM  
2003-06-30 06:45:00 PM  
Damn things suck today on
2003-06-30 06:45:24 PM  
just a thought, maybe it was a really nice new bmw or something that locks itself down whenever it thinks someone is trying to steal it. I still say break the window and run, however.
2003-06-30 06:46:09 PM  
I think this guy was smarter than we all make him out to be... If the chick was an actress she was probably good looking. I say he was in there waiting for her, and told the police he locked himself in on accident so they wouldn't get him for attempted rape and/or murder.

Anybody agree with me here?
2003-06-30 06:46:18 PM  
When is the hilarity going to ensue? The article was pretty hilarity free.
2003-06-30 06:48:00 PM  
I'm guessing he accidentally turned on the car alarm from inside the car. Not having the keys, he couldn't turn it off long to get out without anybody noticing.

Dumbassity ensued.
2003-06-30 06:50:20 PM  
My car is so pissy that sometimes even if you do put the keys in the ignition and turn it on, the alarm still won't go off. You have to get out of the car to get it to shut the hell up.
2003-06-30 06:53:19 PM  
how the crap do you lock yourself inside a car???????????
2003-06-30 06:59:27 PM  
"At last, I was able to ride a BMW," Altura said

I'm thinking what actually happened was he just gripped the steering wheel and said aloud "VROOOOOOOOM VROOOOOOOOM".
2003-06-30 07:00:43 PM  
He must drink Coca Cola.
2003-06-30 07:01:44 PM  
the article had no hilarity, but the thread does.
2003-06-30 07:05:51 PM  
RUFFyamahaRYDER, you made a cogent argument. You must speak from experience.
2003-06-30 07:05:58 PM  
Yeah, athenax311, the threads rarely fail to disappoint
2003-06-30 07:06:24 PM  
Step 1: open door
Step 2: ?????
Step 3: PROFIT!
2003-06-30 07:19:04 PM  
Perhaps he went to the same thief school as the guy who crapped his pants.
2003-06-30 07:19:29 PM  
sounds like this guy could get a spoon stuck in his mouth...
2003-06-30 07:19:36 PM  
He probably triggered the alarm and the alarm locked the doors. Child safety interlocks no longer allow the door to open by simply operating the handle from the inside. The lock must also be disengaged. If the manual lock buttons had smooth tops (most do, it's an anti-theft feature) and were retracted, he would be trapped. Trapped like the rat that he is.
2003-06-30 07:36:54 PM  
Enough with all the sillarity.
2003-06-30 07:39:16 PM  
why didn't he just break a window and run?
2003-06-30 07:42:24 PM  
HAHAHA... what a jackoff.

True, why didn't he break out a window? Maybe he wanted to wait around for something like, oh, say, a nice punch in the teeth??

/Hates thieves and other freeloaders with a PASSION
2003-06-30 07:47:18 PM  
Reminds me of the government official that was recently trapped in his BMW for for a few hours. "BMW, A Concentration Camp in Your Garage!"
2003-06-30 07:50:19 PM  
Rephrase... "freeloaders" may equal "vagrants/bums" to someone... and I don't hate those folks. But I think most would know what I meant.

/my bad
2003-06-30 07:58:58 PM  
I'd steal a Bugatti Veyron, omgbbq...
2003-06-30 08:07:49 PM  
hogans, Hey man!! Quit making me sound like some crazy rapist! I was just trying to think what the hell was going through this guys head... besides nothing! So yah, I don't speak from experience... Don't make me look bad for no reason.
2003-06-30 08:26:39 PM  

"The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson
2003-06-30 08:29:54 PM  
I didn't think it was that difficult to kick the windshield out...but then again I've never had to do it before.
2003-06-30 08:36:02 PM  

2003-06-30 07:50:19 PM HeinekenKegCan
Rephrase... "freeloaders" may equal "vagrants/bums" to someone... and I don't hate those folks. But I think most would know what I meant.
/my bad

2003-06-30 08:38:36 PM  
Maybe they should start teaching children how to unlock car doors from the inside in school to avoid another such crisis.
2003-06-30 08:50:56 PM  

The glass in the windows on the new BMW's is called SentryGlass and it is made by DuPont.

It's laminated with a plastic material and is virtually impossible to break with your hands or blunt objects from inside the car. Seriously, it is that strong. In fact, I believe that it was originally designed to stop flying debris from shattering windows in hurricanes.

To break the glass requires one of those ice-pick type tools the EMS units carry, or, one of those 'escape hammers' that have a 1/4" metal rod sticking out of the head.

Go to a BMW dealer and ask them to show you the 7-series security features video.
2003-06-30 08:51:06 PM  
Attention everyone!! Hogans is right!! I'm a serial rapist! I mean just click on my name and see what I look like... Don't I look like some guy who can't none, and has to rape women instead?!?


Come on now... I have a beautiful girlfriend anyways!

"There is no spoon..." - The Matrix
2003-06-30 09:20:18 PM  
Okay, RUFFyamahaRYDER, I took some of your advice, and looked at your profile. Little did I know that you're a sextuplet!

Now, I'll be more than happy to take your word on your honor (hell, I was joking anyway), but I'm not so sure about your brothers. I'd keep my eye on the one on the left. Not only does he seem more of the shifty type, but he also seems to be trying to lay the blame on the others.
2003-06-30 09:56:16 PM  
this is the first time ive laughed this hard over a dumb criminal story since the one about the dude who forgot to make eye slits in his paper bag mask
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