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Sasha Grey double-penetrating movie markets, big roamin' numerals, and Brazilians waxing ecstatic over their new female president: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 10/31 - 11/6
Posted by Drew at 2010-11-09 2:44:27 PM (24 comments) | Permalink
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8994 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Nov 2010 at 2:50 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



From Unfreakable:

No posting from Drew this week, so enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-10-31 to Sat 2010-11-06:

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  Guy dies from caffeine overdose at party. Friends searching for replacement cocktail shaker    
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  For the third time in a little over a year, a hotel at Disneyland has been evacuated because of a fire sparked by a pizza oven. Good news, nobody has been hurt because it's a small fire after all    
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  80-year old man has run at least a mile a day, every day since 1974. Unfortunately, he's now 39,000 miles from home    
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  Shooting at the Marine Corps is one thing. But a Coast Guard recruiting center? That's like picking on the wheelchair kid in PE class, man    
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  Campers mauled by bear lose lawsuit. It was probably because bears have no money    
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  Nebraska teenager conveniently dressed as a breathalyzer pulled over for drunk driving, asked to blow himself    
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  Qantas Airbus A380 "sheds parts" before making an emergency landing in Indonesia, where the survivors will be covered in volcanic ash and washed away by a tsunami    
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  'Hiccup girl' lawyer explores possible brain disorder defense, but advises client not to hold her breath    
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  You know what they say about finding ordnance in your home: the mortar merrier    
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  Meet the woman suffering from extreme narcolepsy, who falls asleep whenever she laughs. Doctors are prescribing a Two And a Half Men box-set    
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  Des Plaines teenager killed in a hit-and-run. Witnesses say the driver was wearing a white suit but could not tell if he had any distinguishing marks or tattoos    
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Sports:

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  San Francisco City 24-16 Denver United in brilliant footie set-to as gormless Wembley tossers get bladdered watching Yanks in odd kit all at sixes and sevens in near-as-makes-no-difference codswallop    
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  Favre takes one on on the chin. No word if Jenn Sterger has photos of this yet    
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  Mets clubhouse manager Charlie Samuels is under investigation for gambling on baseball, as if betting on the Mets to lose was really gambling    
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Geek:

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  Scottish Gaelic in danger of dying out as most Scots prefer to be incomprehensible in English    
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  Google releases new module to auto-tune your webserver, debuts at #1 on Billboard Top 100    
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  We're robots on the moon, We carry a harpoon. But there ain't no whales. So we tell tall tales. And sing our whaling tune    
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Showbiz:

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  Wh__l of Fortun_ announc_r Charli_ O'Donn_ll d_ad at ag_ 78    
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  Sasha Grey handed job in new Danny Trejo film. Hopes to double penetrate the NC-17 and mainstream markets by sneaking in the backdoor    
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  Contestant on "The Bachelorette" found dead, presumably of shame    
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Politics:

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  Brazilians wax ecstatic over their first female President    
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  Prop 19 puffs, puffs, doesn't pass    
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  Nevadans decide Angle too obtuse    
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Music:

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  Ricky Martin says he cried like a baby when he came out. You got to use lube back there, dude    
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  Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block to tour together. Nine job openings now available at Kinko's    
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  Sharon Osbourne will only have sex with the lights off. This explains Ozzy's fear of the dark    
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Business:

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  Verizon Wireless sends man $17,500 wireless bill. Those are some big roamin' numerals    
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  How is Freddie Mac doing so far this year? Put it this way, if Freddie Mac were you or me, he'd be blowing guys under the bridge for $5    
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  Starbucks sees profit go from tall to venti    
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· · ·

24 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2010-11-09 02:52:18 PM  
I prefer Dana DeArmond. Just as slutty, none of the attitude.
 
2010-11-09 02:55:50 PM  
Curiously missing...

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2010-11-09 02:57:40 PM  

bukketmaster: I prefer Dana DeArmond. Just as slutty, none of the attitude.


Yeah but Dana doesn't get into the BDSM like Sasha does

/rawr
 
2010-11-09 02:59:59 PM  
Reddit stole all these headlines.
 
2010-11-09 03:06:20 PM  
Been groovin' on Jersey Jaxsin. Takes a full load, can accommodate a muchkin's pecker or shane diesel. Very flexible and extra slutty.
 
2010-11-09 03:09:24 PM  
No shiat. My porno idea stars Sasha Grey and Danny Trejo. As well as Ving Rhames.
 
2010-11-09 03:10:01 PM  
I read Fark almost daily, yet I still miss so many great headlines.


You know what they say about finding ordnance in your home: the mortar merrier

Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block to tour together. Nine job openings now available at Kinko's

You know what they say about finding ordnance in your home: the mortar merrier


These are fantastic.
 
2010-11-09 03:11:00 PM  

IdBeCrazyIf: Yeah but Dana doesn't get into the BDSM like Sasha does


GIS for "dana dearmond BDSM" disagrees.

[image from cdn0.knowyourmeme.com too old to be available]
 
2010-11-09 03:15:43 PM  

Hetfield: I read Fark almost daily, yet I still miss so many great headlines.


You know what they say about finding ordnance in your home: the mortar merrier

Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block to tour together. Nine job openings now available at Kinko's

You know what they say about finding ordnance in your home: the mortar merrier

These are fantastic.


You said 'mortar merrier' twice. You must like mortar.

/The Ricky Martin one made me giggle again.
 
2010-11-09 03:19:59 PM  

KJUW89: You said 'mortar merrier' twice. You must like mortar.


Of course I do, I use it as lube, but I meant to paste:

Meet the woman suffering from extreme narcolepsy, who falls asleep whenever she laughs. Doctors are prescribing a Two And a Half Men box-set
 
2010-11-09 03:23:38 PM  
Does Keri Sable still make movies?
 
2010-11-09 03:28:25 PM  

jdog71: Curiously missing...[Drew Butthurt]


I thought the same thing.
 
2010-11-09 03:28:38 PM  
I'm pretty sure Drew posted something last week. Unfortunately I cannot recall what it was about.
 
2010-11-09 03:30:59 PM  
'No posting from Drew this week'

So he's still not over it?
 
2010-11-09 03:40:32 PM  
You had me at Sasha Grey.
 
2010-11-09 03:43:49 PM  
I like how clever and witty Wampler headlines are, why aren't any of them up there.
 
2010-11-09 03:52:04 PM  
Roamin' Numerals was my favourite this week. Strange how it didn't get any love in the thread, so I'll give it some here. Mmmm. Yeah baby.

/etc
 
2010-11-09 04:01:35 PM  

IdBeCrazyIf: bukketmaster: I prefer Dana DeArmond. Just as slutty, none of the attitude.

Yeah but Dana doesn't get into the BDSM like Sasha does

/rawr


Yeah she does.
 
2010-11-09 07:12:30 PM  

rFarke: 'No posting from Drew this week'

So he's still not over it?


No, he's going out drinking with me at 10 and needs to make himself pretty for it.
 
2010-11-09 07:44:20 PM  

Anderrhea: rFarke: 'No posting from Drew this week'

So he's still not over it?

No, he's going out drinking with me at 10 and needs to make himself pretty for it.


Here. He'll need this.

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2010-11-09 07:45:55 PM  
Guess all the Video games haven't desensitized me yet, I find the current mainstream "gonzo" porn disgusting, but then I don't view every woman as only a cumdumpster!

Sasha is cute but her eyes are dead, I find that extremely disturbing, like a superfreak Stepford wife.
 
2010-11-09 10:55:36 PM  

jdog71: Curiously missing...


Awww... I want one of those! :-(

\So shiny...
 
2010-11-10 06:38:39 AM  
Pretty weak batch there, curtis.
 
2010-11-10 05:56:58 PM  
San Francisco City 24-16 Denver United in brilliant footie set-to as gormless Wembley tossers get bladdered watching Yanks in odd kit all at sixes and sevens in near-as-makes-no-difference codswallop

This one makes me want to watch Monty Python.
 
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