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(CNN)   Cleric rails against Yemen, Iran, U.S., having to use blunt weapons, rolling d8 instead of d10 for hit points   (cnn.com) divider line 162
    More: Asinine  
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5004 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Nov 2010 at 9:24 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-11-08 11:49:16 PM
Somebody should tell this guy about Pathfinder.
 
2010-11-09 01:20:11 AM
If you were a cleric of Thrym (Lord of the Frost Giants), then you could use a great-axe.
Not only does your cleric carry an edged weapon, you finally get to use that dusty neglected d12 that's been gathering lint at the bottom of your dice-bag.
 
2010-11-09 08:02:00 AM
That's d6 instead of d8. No one uses d10, unless it's that silly AD&D stuff.
 
2010-11-09 09:25:45 AM
I attack the darkness!
 
2010-11-09 09:26:52 AM
If he's railing against the Great Satan, presumed to be Lawful Evil, wouldn't that make the cleric Chaotic Good?

/Muslim != Chaotic Good
//My nerd asplode!
 
2010-11-09 09:27:38 AM
Cleric?
I thought he was a barbarian!
 
2010-11-09 09:31:09 AM
But they're great against undead, especially skeletons.
 
2010-11-09 09:32:40 AM
Just wait until he learns "shillelagh".
 
2010-11-09 09:32:42 AM
Which is why we use the old 2nd Ed. rules. You can use the weapons of your god(dess).

FORWARD FOR MIGHT AND GLORY! Uh...the cleric has raise dead, right? ONWARD TO VICTORY!
 
2010-11-09 09:33:31 AM
Just make sure your cleric serves either the god of war or god of magic, that generally ensures you're an overpowered whore.
 
2010-11-09 09:36:09 AM
guaranteed to be this week's nerdiest comments on fark
 
2010-11-09 09:36:14 AM
He's probably just angry because clerics are so boring to play. He's wishing he rolled up a bard, they get all the chicks.
 
2010-11-09 09:36:45 AM
Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt!


/NEEERDDDS!!!!
//Okay, I played it, too...
 
2010-11-09 09:37:39 AM
MCStymie: If he's railing against the Great Satan, presumed to be Lawful Evil, wouldn't that make the cleric Chaotic Good?

/Muslim != Chaotic Good
//My nerd asplode!


This guy is lawful evil but thinks he's lawful good.

They probably think the Great Satan is chaotic neutral. Which we probably kinda are.
 
2010-11-09 09:38:11 AM
Time to upgrade to 4th edition subby.
 
2010-11-09 09:38:37 AM
So an American is calling for the killing of all Americans? Can he start with himself?
 
2010-11-09 09:38:38 AM
Torchsong: Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt!


/NEEERDDDS!!!!
//Okay, I played it, too...


Step 1: Cleric: "I Create Water around the orcs' feet."
Step 2: Mage: "I cast Lightning Bolt into the water."
Step 3: Loot dead orcs.
Step 4: Profit!

You loot 134,869 copper off the orcs.
 
2010-11-09 09:38:49 AM
Dude, you are all ready Clericzilla. The only thing more broken than you is a druid.

BTW, I'm using a feral template on my exalted monk, if that's ok.
 
2010-11-09 09:41:12 AM
Shut up and cast cure serious wounds, damn it.
 
2010-11-09 09:41:19 AM
Walker: So an American is calling for the killing of all Americans? Can he start with himself?

You know, they usually do.
 
2010-11-09 09:41:29 AM
weedsmokersguide.com
 
2010-11-09 09:43:41 AM
LazarusLong42: Time to upgrade to 4th edition subby.

4th Edition is the Great Satan.
 
2010-11-09 09:45:10 AM
CSS:

Had a fighter/cleric who was granted a 30 charge, rechargeable Staff of Healing. She started out all nice and reverent about it, but as our party grew from three to seven, it generally ended up being:

"You receive 2d6+1 hit points from the staff, but lose 1d6 as she thwacks you with it running by you."

/CSS
//Okay, not very C.
 
2010-11-09 09:45:18 AM
Alphax: That's d6 instead of d8. No one uses d10, unless it's that silly AD&D stuff.

I thought Fighters were d10 in V3 and V3.5. I know Barbs were the only d12, but I swear fighters were 10s. Oh well. Now that I've actually started playing with it, I actually seem to prefer 4.0.
 
2010-11-09 09:45:34 AM
this works perfectly here...
rick.files.wordpress.com
 
2010-11-09 09:46:16 AM
SweetSilverBlues: Torchsong: Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt!


/NEEERDDDS!!!!
//Okay, I played it, too...

Step 1: Cleric: "I Create Water around the orcs' feet."
Step 2: Mage: "I cast Lightning Bolt into the water."
Step 3: Loot dead orcs.
Step 4: Profit!

You loot 134,869 copper off the orcs.


I'm so trying that next time I play D&D.
 
2010-11-09 09:47:49 AM
squirrelflavoredyogurt: He's probably just angry because clerics are so boring to play. He's wishing he rolled up a bard, they get all the chicks.

Bards suck!

/hides behind a pile of them
//obscure? Probably not here.
 
2010-11-09 09:48:17 AM
oroku_saki: SweetSilverBlues: Torchsong: Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt!


/NEEERDDDS!!!!
//Okay, I played it, too...

Step 1: Cleric: "I Create Water around the orcs' feet."
Step 2: Mage: "I cast Lightning Bolt into the water."
Step 3: Loot dead orcs.
Step 4: Profit!

You loot 134,869 copper off the orcs.

I'm so trying that next time I play D&D.


It's been years since we played that system, but I believe it was a 1.5 multiplier. The important thing was it made a standard lightning bolt into a chain lightning. The GM hated us for that combo.

Then the dwarf fighter in full plate fumbled and fell in the water on a simultaneous initiative. That was bad.
 
2010-11-09 09:49:39 AM
Sounds like someone needs to shut up and heal the fighter.

/Do your job, robe boy
/D&D THREAD!
 
2010-11-09 09:50:11 AM
SweetSilverBlues: Torchsong: Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt!


/NEEERDDDS!!!!
//Okay, I played it, too...

Step 1: Cleric: "I Create Water around the orcs' feet."
Step 2: Mage: "I cast Lightning Bolt into the water."
Step 3: Loot dead orcs.
Step 4: Profit!

You loot 134,869 copper off the orcs.




My favorite was a fight between a mage and a paladin with a Holy Avenger. The Paladin had the anti-magic field so the wizard shrank a bolder to pebble size and threw it at him.
 
2010-11-09 09:50:16 AM
SweetSilverBlues: oroku_saki: SweetSilverBlues: Torchsong: Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt!


/NEEERDDDS!!!!
//Okay, I played it, too...

Step 1: Cleric: "I Create Water around the orcs' feet."
Step 2: Mage: "I cast Lightning Bolt into the water."
Step 3: Loot dead orcs.
Step 4: Profit!

You loot 134,869 copper off the orcs.

I'm so trying that next time I play D&D.

It's been years since we played that system, but I believe it was a 1.5 multiplier. The important thing was it made a standard lightning bolt into a chain lightning. The GM hated us for that combo.

Then the dwarf fighter in full plate fumbled and fell in the water on a simultaneous initiative. That was bad.


Lol. Yeah I could see that being bad. The other one was the Summon water above some enemies' heads, then summon a whale into it, then drop it on them. You had to get a pretty easygoing DM to do that, though, or a hell of an awesome story.
 
2010-11-09 09:52:57 AM
TFA: Al-Awlaki, born in New Mexico ... [said]"Do not seek any permission when it comes to the killing of the Americans"

well there you go - he's given us permission to kill him.

/we now return you to your D&D thread
 
2010-11-09 09:54:40 AM
RolandGunner: My favorite was a fight between a mage and a paladin with a Holy Avenger. The Paladin had the anti-magic field so the wizard shrank a bolder to pebble size and threw it at him.

CxOrillion: Lol. Yeah I could see that being bad. The other one was the Summon water above some enemies' heads, then summon a whale into it, then drop it on them. You had to get a pretty easygoing DM to do that, though, or a hell of an awesome story.

LULZ!

When our mage got Reverse Gravity, it was on.

Tarasques bounce real good. Who knew they could bounce so good?

Funny this thread should come up, I'm fixing to run my annual Ravenloft/House on Griffon Hill conversion. (Half our group was gone for Hallowe'en.)
 
Biv
2010-11-09 09:56:25 AM
My Line Walker is laughing at all of you.

3D6 for END +1D6 and skill modifiers=HP.

/I think, it's been a long time.
 
Biv
2010-11-09 09:57:40 AM
Besides, who cares about HP when you are wearing MD armor?
 
2010-11-09 09:57:45 AM
Wait wait... are we using SDC or MDC damages?
 
2010-11-09 09:58:46 AM
Aboleth: Wait wait... are we using SDC or MDC damages?

AD&D worlds are all SDC, just like Palladium.

However, you can reach Grey Sphere from The Three Galaxies.
 
Biv
2010-11-09 09:59:34 AM
Palladium isn't a game in my book, it's a source book for Rifts.
 
2010-11-09 10:01:15 AM
Al-Awlaki can, however, discard a card from his hand to take the top discard instead of drawing from the draw pile.

/always take the GUAL's
//also useful when looting the room
 
2010-11-09 10:01:17 AM
Biv: Besides, who cares about HP when you are wearing MD armor?

MD armour? Is it made of blue crab chiten?
 
2010-11-09 10:02:44 AM
Blunt weapons can be effective as long as you keep your proficiencies are high enough.
 
2010-11-09 10:02:47 AM
Is there to be no picture of Ogre posted?

/Hmmmmmm?
 
2010-11-09 10:03:31 AM
img838.imageshack.us

/Gotta get working on my "The Ghost of Mistmoor" 4th ed conversion.
 
Biv
2010-11-09 10:04:25 AM
fireclown: Biv: Besides, who cares about HP when you are wearing MD armor?

MD armour? Is it made of blue crab chiten?


Chiten? Pfft. Maybe if you pull it off a Xiticix.
 
2010-11-09 10:04:49 AM
Hagbardr: /Gotta get working on my "The Ghost of Mistmoor" 4th ed conversion.

FYI, a SAMAS canNOT fit through a standard hidden door.

However, zappers are incredibly effective against iron golems.
 
2010-11-09 10:04:55 AM
www.myconfinedspace.com
 
2010-11-09 10:04:59 AM
Biv: Besides, who cares about HP when you are wearing MD armor?

I'm using the Rifts conversion book to convert some Ninjas & Superspies characters. That way, I can do some strengthening exercises (like alternating hot and cold showers) to get 25 MDC skin.
 
2010-11-09 10:06:02 AM
I rule ass. (new window)
 
2010-11-09 10:07:23 AM
altinos: Biv: Besides, who cares about HP when you are wearing MD armor?

I'm using the Rifts conversion book to convert some Ninjas & Superspies characters. That way, I can do some strengthening exercises (like alternating hot and cold showers) to get 25 MDC skin.


Protip: Tamashiwara will work to break through MDC faceplates.

Stone Ox ftw.
 
Biv
2010-11-09 10:08:57 AM
altinos: Biv: Besides, who cares about HP when you are wearing MD armor?

I'm using the Rifts conversion book to convert some Ninjas & Superspies characters. That way, I can do some strengthening exercises (like alternating hot and cold showers) to get 25 MDC skin.


Love the N&S. N&S+TMNT+Rifts was always great fun. Heroes/Aliens unlimited also brought a level of fun.

The Palladium system was great like that. I loved being able to ask players "What do you want? If you want it, I can get it for you."

/No giants or dragons. Not my damn fault they can't fit through doors.
 
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