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(Some Guy)   Catproof your computer   ( divider line
    More: Misc  
•       •       •

13399 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jun 2003 at 9:29 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

51 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-06-28 07:15:34 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
To what degree?
/ sorry
2003-06-28 07:16:26 AM  
I just want to point out that I love cats very much. The timing just seemed especially ironic.
2003-06-28 11:26:14 AM  

I just put an electric fence up...

Keeps my little kitty away from my keyboard quite well..
2003-06-29 09:39:23 AM  
This is blatant speciesism! Many a dead mouse's entrails shall be left on the developer's windshield!
2003-06-29 09:41:23 AM  
I haven't laughed out loud like this for ages. I want it! No more cat-typing in this household (even though my cats are a good 7000km away...)
2003-06-29 09:44:44 AM

"Kill a Kitten"
By Stephen Lynch

When the game of like makes you feel like quittin'
it helps a lot if you kill a kitten.

Mark my words 'cause from where I'm sittin'
you can't go wrong if you kill a kitten.

There's no crime that you'd be committin.'
I know the law -- you can kill a kitten.

And if you need yarn for that scarf you're knittin'
you'll get plenty when you kill a kitten.

Feed it turpentine or break its spine.
Crush it with your shoe as long as you kill a kitten.

If the one you love isn't quite as smitten,
she'll like you better if you kill a kitten.

And I'll quote the bible 'cause that's where it's written,
if ye loveth Jesus ye must kill a kitten.

Flush it down the can.
Hit it with your van.
Drown it in a lake.
Bake a kitty cake.
Throw it at a train.
Make it snort cocaine.
Stick some TNT up its cat booty.
Do what you must do as long as you
kill a kitten.

Killing kittens isn't easy
and if the thought makes you feel queasy
grab a pitchfork from the shed
and kill a puppy dog instead.
2003-06-29 09:49:02 AM  
Ahhh damn. Ok, so I posted that picture and made the comment about timing because of the article about the cat found in Tokyo with the bolt through his noggin showing up about an hour earlier on Totalfark. No harm intended. I actually worked at an animal hospital as a kid and care for all things feline very much.
/time to go pull the email address off the profile.
2003-06-29 09:56:51 AM  
Clearly invented by dogs
2003-06-29 10:01:37 AM  
slow news day, huh?
2003-06-29 10:13:45 AM  
"Cat-like typing detected"
2003-06-29 10:14:22 AM  
My dog does this. It's very annoying. It started chatting with a guy once, actually.
2003-06-29 10:14:28 AM  
2003-06-29 10:15:11 AM  
bad kitty!!!
2003-06-29 10:18:38 AM  
We put a spray bottle next to the keyboard and fire at the first provocation. Just as effective, and equally fun.
2003-06-29 10:36:06 AM  
A Fark Classic! Whether this has been on the main page before I can't recall, but it has been linked so many times in the threads that it might as well have been.
2003-06-29 10:49:39 AM  
i have a cat. i tip the keyboard on its side when i'm not using it. effective and free.
2003-06-29 10:50:11 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-06-29 10:58:07 AM  
I never thought about it before, but the harmonica is very annoying.

Wackiness_Ensues Your humor is appreciated by those with slightly thicker skins.

KickahaOta I have found a new pet word speciesism.

2003-06-29 11:12:48 AM  
I just tried both the sample sounds with one of my cats lying on my desk, his head right next to the right-channel speaker..

..he didn't even twitch..
2003-06-29 11:14:57 AM  
Cat Like typing detected---WTF---thats where all the weird IM comes from---
Hey Fluffy its Whiskers why dont you come by later i got the cat nip you bring da 40s
2003-06-29 11:31:01 AM  
i'm sorry but my parents have a cat that is addicted to the computer, she goes mental when someone is using it and instantly jumps on their lap to be used as a purring wrist rest. Apart from one instance of chasing the cursor on the screen when a kitten (desktop case, solved by opening the CD tray) i have never seen the cat walk on the keyboard. I would imagine that it is uncomfortable for her
2003-06-29 11:43:05 AM  
My cats I'm people all the time, I think they are up to no good.
2003-06-29 11:43:10 AM  
I always open a blank notepad for my cat to type on. You never know, she might have something important to say!
2003-06-29 11:47:42 AM  
you could just lock the computer (if you have windoze XP), or set a password for your screensaver. other than that, training your cat not to climb up on things usually prevents things like that from happening. i have a cat. it has NEVER ever climbed up on my computer. not once.
2003-06-29 12:03:36 PM  
My cat always types "fhqwhgads" when she walks on the keyboard.
2003-06-29 12:30:04 PM  
roomates cat is obsesed with the top of the monitors....never bothers the keyboard on the way there. I have been trining her not to climb up on my monitors too. placed some packing tape sticky side up on top of the monitor.....she jumped up and instantly flew up and sideways about 3' while flipping.....i fell out of my chair laughing.....i laugh my ass off for a good hour....find her, remove tape. she tries getting on the monitor one more time that i know of....that was that.
2003-06-29 12:47:46 PM  
This program looks like so many others out there that are meant for the gullible masses, it's probably got spyware in it.

2003-06-29 12:56:09 PM  
Stephen Lynch blows. Hes the next Wierd Al.
2003-06-29 01:09:43 PM  
This is teH gAy.
2003-06-29 01:42:20 PM  
My cat is deaf.
2003-06-29 02:22:36 PM

This won the 2000 Ignobel Prize for Computer Science.
2003-06-29 02:51:34 PM  
That's really funny...

embryo: That looks just like my cat! Is that yours or a random cat?
2003-06-29 02:55:08 PM  
I think that this may explain Bush's entire economic plan, perhaps there is a cat in the whitehouse that sits on the keyboard from time to time and bangs out some domestic policies?

Please tell me this is a joke.....
2003-06-29 03:22:03 PM  
I just lock the computer when I'm not using it....I guess that was too mind-boggling for these clowns....
2003-06-29 04:12:28 PM  
All of you that have posted "alternative solutions to the Cat-Typing issue" should suffer the same fate as Wackiness_Ensues' cat up there.

BB gun with only one pump oughta do it.
2003-06-29 04:18:28 PM  
2003-06-29 04:19:10 PM  
tell me you understand, TELL ME!
2003-06-29 04:20:42 PM  

[image from too old to be available]

tell me you understand, TELL ME!
2003-06-29 05:03:04 PM  
Cats blow.
2003-06-29 05:17:04 PM  
This page is older than the internet. Plus, my kittens rule. That is all.
2003-06-29 06:26:05 PM  
How will Maostofeles check his email and blame Poofter for the kitty porn?
2003-06-29 07:29:34 PM  
JewelArtist , it's a friend's cat
2003-06-29 09:31:26 PM  
I hear there are several companies that make software to keep pussy off your screen as well.

Not buying any of it.
2003-06-29 10:46:18 PM  
she jumped up and instantly flew up and sideways about 3' while flipping.....i fell out of my chair laughing

Heh. My cat(can't remember if it's the one in my profile pic or her predecessor, oh well) earned itself the title of laughingstock one day.

My father had just finished waxing the car, with a nice supercoating of Turtle Wax. Thus creating a nice, shiny, SLICK hood of the car. Being a modern car, of course, there are no flat lines: the hood is curved. Of course, Kitty normally likes to lie on the nice warm car. So, unaware of the properties of a fresh car waxing, Kitty takes a flying leap from one side of the car. Normally, the friction on the surface of the car would bring her to a prompt, graceful stop dead center in the middle of the rounded hood--friction that was no longer there! Watching the cat's expression go from:
Bliss: "Ah, the nice warm car has returned!" *LEAP*
Surprise: "Wha..I'm not stopping..." *sliiiiiiiiiddddeee*
Panic: *scrabblescrabblescrabble* "NO GRIP! My claws, they do nothing!"
and fall off the other side of the car had me laughing all day.
2003-06-29 11:47:56 PM  
2003-06-29 11:48:30 PM  
<insert kitten killing cliche' here>
2003-06-30 12:44:36 AM  
Funny. Four cats in my house, and at least that many computers, and we've NEVER had that problem.
2003-06-30 07:40:13 AM  
I tried both test sounds with my cat sleeping on top of my monitor, with his head right next to the left speaker.

Not one damn reaction.
2003-06-30 09:53:51 AM  
What's up with this?

"Your Web browser might not reproduce sound with full fidelity"

Why the fark wouldn't it? It's a friggin WAV file...
2003-06-30 09:58:26 AM  
I'm late to the party, but I have a funny cat typing story. When we were in college, we used the free dial-up service that the school offered (since that was all we could afford). We were sleeping in one morning when we started to hear all of this noise. Neither of us wanted to wake up, so we tried to ignore it until we heard the very distinct and undeniable noise of our modem connecting. We are absolutely amazed to this day that he somehow managed to hit the keys in exactly the right combinations in order to not only open the dial-up connection window, but type in the password (that is the most amazing part, since we didn't save our password) and then connect. It was incredible and we still can't figure out how he did it.
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