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(Some Guy)   How often can you read the phrase "horrible vaginal odor" in the newspaper? Not often, but here we are   (jacksonnewspapers.com) divider line 316
    More: Sick, sexual acts, yellow pages, Danny, domestic violences, Deputy R. Mellinger, knife  
•       •       •

31907 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Nov 2010 at 5:59 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



316 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2010-11-03 10:54:47 PM
Charged only with domestic assault? Ummm shouldn't that be rape? If a man threatened a woman with a knife to perform sexual favours, he would be arrested for rape.
 
2010-11-03 11:16:00 PM
Doctor_Who: Charged only with domestic assault? Ummm shouldn't that be rape? If a man threatened a woman with a knife to perform sexual favours, he would be arrested for rape.

He wouldn't only be arrested, he would be incarcerated for a few years, and have to register as a sex offender.

But, hey, it's only rape when a man does it to a woman. Women are never guilty.
 
2010-11-03 11:23:22 PM
Stink puss is no laughing matter, people.
 
2010-11-03 11:27:46 PM
How often can you read the phrase "horrible vaginal odor" in the newspaper?

I don't know. Your mom still running that personal ad, subby?
 
2010-11-03 11:58:25 PM
"Don't I recognize your name from some news article? Oh yeah, you're the chick with the noxious vag!"
 
2010-11-04 12:01:34 AM
 
2010-11-04 12:13:10 AM
God, I miss My Name Is Earl ;)
 
2010-11-04 12:48:18 AM
img267.imageshack.us
 
2010-11-04 01:07:50 AM
Doctor_Who: Charged only with domestic assault? Ummm shouldn't that be rape? If a man threatened a woman with a knife to perform sexual favours, he would be arrested for rape.

You said "rape" twice.
 
2010-11-04 01:19:02 AM
King Something: Doctor_Who: Charged only with domestic assault? Ummm shouldn't that be rape? If a man threatened a woman with a knife to perform sexual favours, he would be arrested for rape.

You said "rape" twice.


He likes rape.
 
2010-11-04 01:31:08 AM
oi53.tinypic.com

oi55.tinypic.com
 
2010-11-04 01:57:07 AM
This thread. It's useless without pics.
 
2010-11-04 02:05:38 AM
"We want women to know that Vagisil® is safe for use every day..."

img831.imageshack.us

"EVERY DAY..."
 
2010-11-04 03:06:12 AM
i268.photobucket.com
 
2010-11-04 04:41:45 AM
SpinStopper: God, I miss My Name Is Earl ;)

oh, so you're the one.
 
2010-11-04 05:55:42 AM
Meatzilla: i268.photobucket.com

That is so wrong.
 
2010-11-04 06:10:48 AM
Who wants to bet that despite refusing to go down on her due to the whiff of decrepit pussy, he still would have porked her if given half the chance?
 
2010-11-04 06:10:55 AM
farm2.static.flickr.com
 
2010-11-04 06:12:08 AM
I not sure I could "precede" any further, even by logical definition
 
2010-11-04 06:13:53 AM
That article reads like white trash central.
 
2010-11-04 06:15:55 AM
I, for one, am thankful that the article included no pictures.
 
2010-11-04 06:19:07 AM
Hmmmmmmm..
img227.imageshack.us
 
2010-11-04 06:19:21 AM
With a tagline like that, I really don't want to read the story...

...nope, can't do it... still haven't eaten breakfast...
 
2010-11-04 06:21:04 AM
Was the Brandishing charge for the knife or her nether regions?
 
2010-11-04 06:22:07 AM
Doctor_Who: Charged only with domestic assault? Ummm shouldn't that be rape? If a man threatened a woman with a knife to perform sexual favours, he would be arrested for rape.

If a guy did that to a woman, I don't think it would be rape in most states. Some states might call it "attempted rape," or "attempted sexual assault," or something like that, but it doesn't seem like any actual sexual contact ever happened. I'm pretty sure there has to be some type of sexual "touching" for it to be rape.
 
2010-11-04 06:24:26 AM
FTA: Danny and Melissa are estranged spouses who live four doors down from each other within the I-77 Motor Inn.

Sounds like a classy group.
 
2010-11-04 06:24:32 AM
There's something awfully fishy about this story...
 
2010-11-04 06:31:14 AM
Thoroughly With Foil: There's something awfully fishy about this story...

Win
 
2010-11-04 06:32:08 AM
What have we learned today, ladies?

This ...
www.stressnomore.co.uk

+

this ...

images.knifecenter.com

=

WIN!!
 
2010-11-04 06:35:18 AM
I've had the opportunity to decline such an opportunity once upon a time in college for exactly the same reason. Hot looking chick, horrendous hygeine. Couldn't keep the street cats away from my bedroom window for a week, even with a dumpster close by.
/csb NOT
 
2010-11-04 06:41:27 AM
There are three things that smell like fish.

One of them is fish.

/fz
 
2010-11-04 06:42:29 AM
Testiculus: I've had the opportunity to decline such an opportunity once upon a time in college for exactly the same reason. Hot looking chick, horrendous hygeine. Couldn't keep the street cats away from my bedroom window for a week, even with a dumpster close by.
/csb NOT


Same thing with me but it was at a hotel with a stripper that a shat load of stretch marks
 
2010-11-04 06:43:57 AM
ambassador_ahab: Doctor_Who: Charged only with domestic assault? Ummm shouldn't that be rape? If a man threatened a woman with a knife to perform sexual favours, he would be arrested for rape.

If a guy did that to a woman, I don't think it would be rape in most states. Some states might call it "attempted rape," or "attempted sexual assault," or something like that, but it doesn't seem like any actual sexual contact ever happened. I'm pretty sure there has to be some type of sexual "touching" for it to be rape.


This. Threats were indeed made, but the article seems to imply that things didn't advance beyond that state. In jurisdictions that distinguish between sexual assault and sexual battery one could argue that it's sexual assault, but that's about as far as one could go.
 
2010-11-04 06:44:46 AM
How about....


No.
 
2010-11-04 06:46:28 AM
Jesus woman wash out that hole and scrub them roast beef flaps!!!
 
2010-11-04 06:46:41 AM
I love my woman and she has excellent hygiene but unfortunately due to medication its like something died inside her. So bj's without having to reciprocate!

/doctor confirmed
//full of win
///thank generic deity for her Hitachi magic wand
 
2010-11-04 06:47:17 AM
If it smells like fish, it's a tasty dish. If it smells like cologne, leave it alone.
 
2010-11-04 06:49:59 AM
KWPLunchbox: I love my woman and she has excellent hygiene but unfortunately due to medication its like something died inside her. So bj's without having to reciprocate!

/doctor confirmed
//full of win
///thank generic deity for her Hitachi magic wand


Dude thats gross Divorce it kill it cover it with lime and sawdust and burry it so it can't ever hurt anyone else
 
2010-11-04 06:50:16 AM
See? Us mature broads are just that comfortable with our sexuality. I doubt you'd find a twenty year old coed dropping trou & brandishing a knife while demanding cunnilingus.

//Much to many farker's disappointment.
 
2010-11-04 06:51:29 AM
Copyright 2010 Jackson Newspapers. Some rights reserved

WAT?
 
2010-11-04 06:52:29 AM
FirstNationalBastard: Doctor_Who: Charged only with domestic assault? Ummm shouldn't that be rape? If a man threatened a woman with a knife to perform sexual favours, he would be arrested for rape.

He wouldn't only be arrested, he would be incarcerated for a few years, and have to register as a sex offender.

But, hey, it's only rape when a man does it to a woman. Women are never guilty.


Sad but true, when it comes to sex crime nothing else matters but gender. If only things were equal, and justice for all. It could drive a man to drink whiskey in the jar. Amid all this frantic inequality, some kind of monster has been born. Men are the unforgiven, but either women should be unforgiven too or the judas kiss for men must end. There are men that end up broken, beat, and scarred just for urinating in public. Some women think that we should just kill 'em all, make them jump in the fire. They truly are a master of puppets, forcing a creeping death on men.

/See if you can spot them all.
 
2010-11-04 06:55:32 AM
LavenderWolf: FirstNationalBastard: Doctor_Who: Charged only with domestic assault? Ummm shouldn't that be rape? If a man threatened a woman with a knife to perform sexual favours, he would be arrested for rape.

He wouldn't only be arrested, he would be incarcerated for a few years, and have to register as a sex offender.

But, hey, it's only rape when a man does it to a woman. Women are never guilty.

Sad but true, when it comes to sex crime nothing else matters but gender. If only things were equal, and justice for all. It could drive a man to drink whiskey in the jar. Amid all this frantic inequality, some kind of monster has been born. Men are the unforgiven, but either women should be unforgiven too or the judas kiss for men must end. There are men that end up broken, beat, and scarred just for urinating in public. Some women think that we should just kill 'em all, make them jump in the fire. They truly are a master of puppets, forcing a creeping death on men.

/See if you can spot them all.


Didn't get laid last weekend did you?
 
2010-11-04 06:56:19 AM
cdn0.knowyourmeme.com

media.giantbomb.com

www.purepong.com


I think that about covers it...
 
2010-11-04 06:57:12 AM
LavenderWolf: FirstNationalBastard: Doctor_Who: Charged only with domestic assault? Ummm shouldn't that be rape? If a man threatened a woman with a knife to perform sexual favours, he would be arrested for rape.

He wouldn't only be arrested, he would be incarcerated for a few years, and have to register as a sex offender.

But, hey, it's only rape when a man does it to a woman. Women are never guilty.

Sad but true, when it comes to sex crime nothing else matters but gender. If only things were equal, and justice for all. It could drive a man to drink whiskey in the jar. Amid all this frantic inequality, some kind of monster has been born. Men are the unforgiven, but either women should be unforgiven too or the judas kiss for men must end. There are men that end up broken, beat, and scarred just for urinating in public. Some women think that we should just kill 'em all, make them jump in the fire. They truly are a master of puppets, forcing a creeping death on men.

/See if you can spot them all.



'Urinating in public' is my favorite Metallica song.
 
2010-11-04 06:59:53 AM
Cowin Myundies: LavenderWolf: FirstNationalBastard: Doctor_Who: Charged only with domestic assault? Ummm shouldn't that be rape? If a man threatened a woman with a knife to perform sexual favours, he would be arrested for rape.

He wouldn't only be arrested, he would be incarcerated for a few years, and have to register as a sex offender.

But, hey, it's only rape when a man does it to a woman. Women are never guilty.

Sad but true, when it comes to sex crime nothing else matters but gender. If only things were equal, and justice for all. It could drive a man to drink whiskey in the jar. Amid all this frantic inequality, some kind of monster has been born. Men are the unforgiven, but either women should be unforgiven too or the judas kiss for men must end. There are men that end up broken, beat, and scarred just for urinating in public. Some women think that we should just kill 'em all, make them jump in the fire. They truly are a master of puppets, forcing a creeping death on men.

/See if you can spot them all.

Didn't get laid last weekend did you?


How can you tell?
 
2010-11-04 07:00:43 AM
Slartibartfaster: I not sure I could "precede" any further, even by logical definition

You would have to find a way to post more comments near the top of the thread.
 
2010-11-04 07:01:03 AM
Thoroughly With Foil: LavenderWolf: FirstNationalBastard: Doctor_Who: Charged only with domestic assault? Ummm shouldn't that be rape? If a man threatened a woman with a knife to perform sexual favours, he would be arrested for rape.

He wouldn't only be arrested, he would be incarcerated for a few years, and have to register as a sex offender.

But, hey, it's only rape when a man does it to a woman. Women are never guilty.

Sad but true, when it comes to sex crime nothing else matters but gender. If only things were equal, and justice for all. It could drive a man to drink whiskey in the jar. Amid all this frantic inequality, some kind of monster has been born. Men are the unforgiven, but either women should be unforgiven too or the judas kiss for men must end. There are men that end up broken, beat, and scarred just for urinating in public. Some women think that we should just kill 'em all, make them jump in the fire. They truly are a master of puppets, forcing a creeping death on men.

/See if you can spot them all.


'Urinating in public' is my favorite Metallica song.


I lol'd
 
2010-11-04 07:02:38 AM
I was going to have tuna for lunch today, but for some reason, a burger sounds better.

/gag
 
2010-11-04 07:02:57 AM
Horrible Vaginal Odor is a great name for a band.
 
2010-11-04 07:06:34 AM
"The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.

And it doesn't even have to be a woman we are in a relationship with. We could be standing on line, or at a meeting. Something is a bit off. You try a discreet sniff and then the full horror of the situation dawns on you depending on the prevailing winds or ventilation. You don't want to make a big thing of it, maybe you try to rationalize that it's her feet, but eventually, you have to stop lying to yourself and face up to the realization that the woman whose proximity we are in has a coont that simply stinks.

And she probably doesn't realize it. Maybe she thinks her fetid Taco of Doom™, like her crap, smells of sunshine and lavender, perhaps she thinks its "natural" or doesn't notice it at all. In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.


i181.photobucket.com

Gentlemen, I feel your pain. And your scorched nose hairs.
 
2010-11-04 07:11:34 AM
soundguy: I, for one, am thankful that the article included no pictures.

THIS, oh so much this.
 
2010-11-04 07:14:15 AM
EasyWind: soundguy: I, for one, am thankful that the article included no pictures.

THIS, oh so much this.


www.fairfaxunderground.com

C'mon, it's delicious!
 
2010-11-04 07:15:33 AM
Mykeru: EasyWind: soundguy: I, for one, am thankful that the article included no pictures.

THIS, oh so much this.



C'mon, it's delicious!


I don't think I'll ever be able to eat a roast beef sandwich again.


Thanks, jerk.
 
2010-11-04 07:16:20 AM
You can wash it with soap
You can wash it with soda
But you can't get rid of
that fishy odor.

/remember that from grade school
//too many years ago
 
2010-11-04 07:17:23 AM
Mykeru: "The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.

And it doesn't even have to be a woman we are in a relationship with. We could be standing on line, or at a meeting. Something is a bit off. You try a discreet sniff and then the full horror of the situation dawns on you depending on the prevailing winds or ventilation. You don't want to make a big thing of it, maybe you try to rationalize that it's her feet, but eventually, you have to stop lying to yourself and face up to the realization that the woman whose proximity we are in has a coont that simply stinks.

And she probably doesn't realize it. Maybe she thinks her fetid Taco of Doom™, like her crap, smells of sunshine and lavender, perhaps she thinks its "natural" or doesn't notice it at all. In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.


So that's the reason. I thought it was just my foul looks and miserable personality.
 
2010-11-04 07:18:28 AM
LavenderWolf: Thanks, jerk.

Yeah, that's an option.
 
2010-11-04 07:21:59 AM
Dear Penthouse Forum:

I never thought this would happen to me...
 
2010-11-04 07:22:16 AM
steerforth: Mykeru: "The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.

And it doesn't even have to be a woman we are in a relationship with. We could be standing on line, or at a meeting. Something is a bit off. You try a discreet sniff and then the full horror of the situation dawns on you depending on the prevailing winds or ventilation. You don't want to make a big thing of it, maybe you try to rationalize that it's her feet, but eventually, you have to stop lying to yourself and face up to the realization that the woman whose proximity we are in has a coont that simply stinks.

And she probably doesn't realize it. Maybe she thinks her fetid Taco of Doom™, like her crap, smells of sunshine and lavender, perhaps she thinks its "natural" or doesn't notice it at all. In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.

So that's the reason. I thought it was just my foul looks and miserable personality.


Nope. Someone would have to get past the stink to get to know you have a miserable personality and as far as looks, your bad clam is egalitarian, in that even blind people can hate you.
 
2010-11-04 07:24:22 AM
Couldn't he strike a match or something ?
 
2010-11-04 07:27:35 AM
i212.photobucket.com

First GIS result for "Bad Clam"
 
2010-11-04 07:28:57 AM
You know, we need a mascot for Horrible Vaginal Odor. Something family-friendly that kids can relate to, something to ease the discussion of women's savage crotch ecosystems.

My proposal:

i181.photobucket.com

We could fund PSAs with revenue from plush toys alone.
 
2010-11-04 07:30:08 AM
Well, no breakfast for me today.
 
2010-11-04 07:31:18 AM
i54.tinypic.com
 
2010-11-04 07:31:59 AM
Was her name Pandora?
 
2010-11-04 07:32:47 AM
Mykeru: steerforth: Mykeru: "The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.

And it doesn't even have to be a woman we are in a relationship with. We could be standing on line, or at a meeting. Something is a bit off. You try a discreet sniff and then the full horror of the situation dawns on you depending on the prevailing winds or ventilation. You don't want to make a big thing of it, maybe you try to rationalize that it's her feet, but eventually, you have to stop lying to yourself and face up to the realization that the woman whose proximity we are in has a coont that simply stinks.

And she probably doesn't realize it. Maybe she thinks her fetid Taco of Doom™, like her crap, smells of sunshine and lavender, perhaps she thinks its "natural" or doesn't notice it at all. In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.

So that's the reason. I thought it was just my foul looks and miserable personality.

Nope. Someone would have to get past the stink to get to know you have a miserable personality and as far as looks, your bad clam is egalitarian, in that even blind people can hate you.


Still doesn't mean that my plan of only dating myopic men suffering from bad colds is a bad idea. That gagging sound they make while they're down there could mean anything.
 
2010-11-04 07:33:58 AM
ambassador_ahab: FTA: Danny and Melissa are estranged spouses who live four doors down from each other within the I-77 Motor Inn.

Sounds like a classy group.


My big cue was when it wasn't the exhusband who offered to take a dive, but the friend.
 
2010-11-04 07:35:07 AM
assets.nydailynews.com
 
2010-11-04 07:44:01 AM
Mykeru: steerforth: Mykeru: "The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.

And it doesn't even have to be a woman we are in a relationship with. We could be standing on line, or at a meeting. Something is a bit off. You try a discreet sniff and then the full horror of the situation dawns on you depending on the prevailing winds or ventilation. You don't want to make a big thing of it, maybe you try to rationalize that it's her feet, but eventually, you have to stop lying to yourself and face up to the realization that the woman whose proximity we are in has a coont that simply stinks.

And she probably doesn't realize it. Maybe she thinks her fetid Taco of Doom™, like her crap, smells of sunshine and lavender, perhaps she thinks its "natural" or doesn't notice it at all. In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.

So that's the reason. I thought it was just my foul looks and miserable personality.

Nope. Someone would have to get past the stink to get to know you have a miserable personality and as far as looks, your bad clam is egalitarian, in that even blind people can hate you.


Honestly, I'd discretely tell a woman such a thing. Probably get slapped, but I'd tell her for the same reason I'd tell her about toilet paper sticking out of her pants or something.
 
2010-11-04 07:46:34 AM
s153139690.websitehome.co.uk
I found this in a GIS.
 
2010-11-04 07:47:27 AM
Damnit. Why do they have such common names? I wanted to facebook them.
 
2010-11-04 07:48:54 AM
LavenderWolf: Mykeru: steerforth: Mykeru: "The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.

And it doesn't even have to be a woman we are in a relationship with. We could be standing on line, or at a meeting. Something is a bit off. You try a discreet sniff and then the full horror of the situation dawns on you depending on the prevailing winds or ventilation. You don't want to make a big thing of it, maybe you try to rationalize that it's her feet, but eventually, you have to stop lying to yourself and face up to the realization that the woman whose proximity we are in has a coont that simply stinks.

And she probably doesn't realize it. Maybe she thinks her fetid Taco of Doom™, like her crap, smells of sunshine and lavender, perhaps she thinks its "natural" or doesn't notice it at all. In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.

So that's the reason. I thought it was just my foul looks and miserable personality.

Nope. Someone would have to get past the stink to get to know you have a miserable personality and as far as looks, your bad clam is egalitarian, in that even blind people can hate you.

Honestly, I'd discretely tell a woman such a thing. Probably get slapped, but I'd tell her for the same reason I'd tell her about toilet paper sticking out of her pants or something.


I LEARNED THIS TRICK FROM SCOTT BAIO: Get some of the stink on your fingers, and then put the fingers up to her nose.
 
2010-11-04 07:49:24 AM
I had an ex-girlfriend once that had this problem. I mentioned it. She did not react well at all to the news that her coont smelled like a pier at the end of a long day of fishing in 100 degree weather. The relationship didn't end on a happy note...
 
2010-11-04 07:54:51 AM
In the words of Eazy-E and Dr. Dre:

Man, I wouldn't touch that biatch
Me neither.
Ho go home and wash out your beaver
 
2010-11-04 07:58:47 AM
Radioactive Ass: I had an ex-girlfriend once that had this problem. I mentioned it. She did not react well at all to the news that her coont smelled like a pier at the end of a long day of fishing in 100 degree weather. The relationship didn't end on a happy note...

What a flash back.

I told a girl once hers smelled like the dead shrimp at the bottom of a bucket after a long hot day of fishing.

/she didn't take it well
 
2010-11-04 07:59:47 AM
from oral sex to nasal nookie in under three seconds. Since Gods Word outlaws oral sex on women this is your reward.Everyone know that only men should receive oral sex and that women should be thankful that men allow them the privilege ."everyone knows clams are not kosher".
 
2010-11-04 08:01:06 AM
LavenderWolf: Mykeru: steerforth: Mykeru: "The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.

And it doesn't even have to be a woman we are in a relationship with. We could be standing on line, or at a meeting. Something is a bit off. You try a discreet sniff and then the full horror of the situation dawns on you depending on the prevailing winds or ventilation. You don't want to make a big thing of it, maybe you try to rationalize that it's her feet, but eventually, you have to stop lying to yourself and face up to the realization that the woman whose proximity we are in has a coont that simply stinks.

And she probably doesn't realize it. Maybe she thinks her fetid Taco of Doom™, like her crap, smells of sunshine and lavender, perhaps she thinks its "natural" or doesn't notice it at all. In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.

So that's the reason. I thought it was just my foul looks and miserable personality.

Nope. Someone would have to get past the stink to get to know you have a miserable personality and as far as looks, your bad clam is egalitarian, in that even blind people can hate you.

Honestly, I'd discretely tell a woman such a thing. Probably get slapped, but I'd tell her for the same reason I'd tell her about toilet paper sticking out of her pants or something.



Yeah, I got slapped once when I told a guy his spunk tasted funky, but his mom said exactly the same thing so who was he to argue.
 
2010-11-04 08:03:08 AM
i148.photobucket.com
 
2010-11-04 08:07:13 AM
Speaking of double standards, this story seems strangely appropriate:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/11/03/texas.susan.wright.sentence/index.html?iref = NS1
(new window)

Imagine a man stabbing his wife 193 times and burying her in the yard, attempting to cover up the crime, and all because she was a coke whore who liked the nightlife. A man can't claim abuse, or "hellish" homelife as a defense.

What a despicable society - both of these knife-wielding women should get the death-penalty - one for letting her poon get so rank it scared away the willing, and the other for being a murderous biatch.

Anyway, maybe I'm just bitter after 4 years of marriage, and not ONE SINGLE TIME has the woman made me a freaking sandwich.
 
2010-11-04 08:10:46 AM
img256.imageshack.us
 
2010-11-04 08:12:12 AM
holdeestrufs: Anyway, maybe I'm just bitter after 4 years of marriage, and not ONE SINGLE TIME has the woman made me a freaking sandwich.

Did you ask?
 
2010-11-04 08:15:57 AM
farking pussies, grab some smelling salts, vapor rub, nose clamps and eat that garbage pit like a new york rat on its last trip out to see on a garbage barge.
 
2010-11-04 08:17:13 AM
IdBeCrazyIf: farking pussies, grab some smelling salts, vapor rub, nose clamps and eat that garbage pit like a new york rat on its last trip out to see on a garbage barge.

This is why I have you favorited as "sexy advice guru."
 
2010-11-04 08:17:14 AM
Stankin' ass biatches that need to wash up/
Don't get mad when I don't want to fark/
You need soap and water, soap and water/
soap and water, soap and water,/
water, water, water, water, water, water...



/ass, titties, ass & titties, ass, ass, titties, titties, ass & titties...
 
2010-11-04 08:19:20 AM
suggestive_eye_movement: LavenderWolf: Mykeru: steerforth: Mykeru: "The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.

And it doesn't even have to be a woman we are in a relationship with. We could be standing on line, or at a meeting. Something is a bit off. You try a discreet sniff and then the full horror of the situation dawns on you depending on the prevailing winds or ventilation. You don't want to make a big thing of it, maybe you try to rationalize that it's her feet, but eventually, you have to stop lying to yourself and face up to the realization that the woman whose proximity we are in has a coont that simply stinks.

And she probably doesn't realize it. Maybe she thinks her fetid Taco of Doom™, like her crap, smells of sunshine and lavender, perhaps she thinks its "natural" or doesn't notice it at all. In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.

So that's the reason. I thought it was just my foul looks and miserable personality.

Nope. Someone would have to get past the stink to get to know you have a miserable personality and as far as looks, your bad clam is egalitarian, in that even blind people can hate you.

Honestly, I'd discretely tell a woman such a thing. Probably get slapped, but I'd tell her for the same reason I'd tell her about toilet paper sticking out of her pants or something.

I LEARNED THIS TRICK FROM SCOTT BAIO: Get some of the stink on your fingers, and then put the fingers up to her nose.


Never been THAT close to a stank vag.
 
2010-11-04 08:22:57 AM
holdeestrufs: Speaking of double standards, this story seems strangely appropriate:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/11/03/texas.susan.wright.sentence/index.html?iref = NS1 (new window)

Imagine a man stabbing his wife 193 times and burying her in the yard, attempting to cover up the crime, and all because she was a coke whore who liked the nightlife. A man can't claim abuse, or "hellish" homelife as a defense.

What a despicable society - both of these knife-wielding women should get the death-penalty - one for letting her poon get so rank it scared away the willing, and the other for being a murderous biatch.

Anyway, maybe I'm just bitter after 4 years of marriage, and not ONE SINGLE TIME has the woman made me a freaking sandwich.


Go down on her once in a while. She'll make you a roast beef sandwich and you can slap on the mustard.
 
2010-11-04 08:26:28 AM
Not at all often, and far too often, at the same time.
 
2010-11-04 08:26:52 AM
Too bad the guy didn't have a cold. She probably just wiped the wrong way.
 
2010-11-04 08:31:19 AM
steerforth: LavenderWolf: Mykeru: steerforth: Mykeru: "The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.

And it doesn't even have to be a woman we are in a relationship with. We could be standing on line, or at a meeting. Something is a bit off. You try a discreet sniff and then the full horror of the situation dawns on you depending on the prevailing winds or ventilation. You don't want to make a big thing of it, maybe you try to rationalize that it's her feet, but eventually, you have to stop lying to yourself and face up to the realization that the woman whose proximity we are in has a coont that simply stinks.

And she probably doesn't realize it. Maybe she thinks her fetid Taco of Doom™, like her crap, smells of sunshine and lavender, perhaps she thinks its "natural" or doesn't notice it at all. In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.

So that's the reason. I thought it was just my foul looks and miserable personality.

Nope. Someone would have to get past the stink to get to know you have a miserable personality and as far as looks, your bad clam is egalitarian, in that even blind people can hate you.

Honestly, I'd discretely tell a woman such a thing. Probably get slapped, but I'd tell her for the same reason I'd tell her about toilet paper sticking out of her pants or something.


Yeah, I got slapped once when I told a guy his spunk tasted funky, but his mom said exactly the same thing so who was he to argue.


After reading your posts, I think I really like you. Let's go have a beer.

/used to hang with a woman with your sense of humor.
//she got married, and I got married.
///now we just pass each other on the street occasionally
////no, we're not married to each other
 
2010-11-04 08:41:02 AM
DNRTFA..

Were they talking about the girl who was sitting behind me on the Greyhound in 2005?
Yeah it was that bad I still remember it to this day.

/girl had no business wearing a skirt
 
2010-11-04 08:42:41 AM
WTFDYW: steerforth: LavenderWolf: Mykeru: steerforth: Mykeru: "The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.

And it doesn't even have to be a woman we are in a relationship with. We could be standing on line, or at a meeting. Something is a bit off. You try a discreet sniff and then the full horror of the situation dawns on you depending on the prevailing winds or ventilation. You don't want to make a big thing of it, maybe you try to rationalize that it's her feet, but eventually, you have to stop lying to yourself and face up to the realization that the woman whose proximity we are in has a coont that simply stinks.

And she probably doesn't realize it. Maybe she thinks her fetid Taco of Doom™, like her crap, smells of sunshine and lavender, perhaps she thinks its "natural" or doesn't notice it at all. In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.

So that's the reason. I thought it was just my foul looks and miserable personality.

Nope. Someone would have to get past the stink to get to know you have a miserable personality and as far as looks, your bad clam is egalitarian, in that even blind people can hate you.

Honestly, I'd discretely tell a woman such a thing. Probably get slapped, but I'd tell her for the same reason I'd tell her about toilet paper sticking out of her pants or something.


Yeah, I got slapped once when I told a guy his spunk tasted funky, but his mom said exactly the same thing so who was he to argue.

After reading your posts, I think I really like you. Let's go have a beer.

/used to hang with a woman with your sense of humor.
//she got married, and I got married.
///now we just pass each other on the street occasionally
////no, we're not married to each other


I'd love to have a beer with you but I have this problem with horrible vaginal odour, and brewers' yeast is just like a total no-no.
 
2010-11-04 08:48:22 AM
FTFA; It was at this point Melissa allegedly produced a lock-back folding knife, pointed it at Danny and stated, "it ain't gonna lick itself."
 
2010-11-04 08:48:39 AM
TappingTheVein: Horrible Vaginal Odor is a great name for a band.

Uh, no. No it isn't. Unless it accurately reflects the shiatty noise you call "music."
 
2010-11-04 08:49:27 AM
steerforth: WTFDYW: steerforth: LavenderWolf: Mykeru: steerforth: Mykeru: "The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.

And it doesn't even have to be a woman we are in a relationship with. We could be standing on line, or at a meeting. Something is a bit off. You try a discreet sniff and then the full horror of the situation dawns on you depending on the prevailing winds or ventilation. You don't want to make a big thing of it, maybe you try to rationalize that it's her feet, but eventually, you have to stop lying to yourself and face up to the realization that the woman whose proximity we are in has a coont that simply stinks.

And she probably doesn't realize it. Maybe she thinks her fetid Taco of Doom™, like her crap, smells of sunshine and lavender, perhaps she thinks its "natural" or doesn't notice it at all. In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.

So that's the reason. I thought it was just my foul looks and miserable personality.

Nope. Someone would have to get past the stink to get to know you have a miserable personality and as far as looks, your bad clam is egalitarian, in that even blind people can hate you.

Honestly, I'd discretely tell a woman such a thing. Probably get slapped, but I'd tell her for the same reason I'd tell her about toilet paper sticking out of her pants or something.


Yeah, I got slapped once when I told a guy his spunk tasted funky, but his mom said exactly the same thing so who was he to argue.

After reading your posts, I think I really like you. Let's go have a beer.

/used to hang with a woman with your sense of humor.
//she got married, and I got married.
///now we just pass each other on the street occasionally
////no, we're not married to each other

I'd love to have a beer with you but I have this problem with horrible vaginal odour, and brewers' yeast is just like a total no-no.


You show be green from this point forward.
Thanks for the luls
 
2010-11-04 08:54:56 AM
WTFDYW: steerforth: WTFDYW: steerforth: LavenderWolf: Mykeru: steerforth: Mykeru: "The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.

And it doesn't even have to be a woman we are in a relationship with. We could be standing on line, or at a meeting. Something is a bit off. You try a discreet sniff and then the full horror of the situation dawns on you depending on the prevailing winds or ventilation. You don't want to make a big thing of it, maybe you try to rationalize that it's her feet, but eventually, you have to stop lying to yourself and face up to the realization that the woman whose proximity we are in has a coont that simply stinks.

And she probably doesn't realize it. Maybe she thinks her fetid Taco of Doom™, like her crap, smells of sunshine and lavender, perhaps she thinks its "natural" or doesn't notice it at all. In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.

So that's the reason. I thought it was just my foul looks and miserable personality.

Nope. Someone would have to get past the stink to get to know you have a miserable personality and as far as looks, your bad clam is egalitarian, in that even blind people can hate you.

Honestly, I'd discretely tell a woman such a thing. Probably get slapped, but I'd tell her for the same reason I'd tell her about toilet paper sticking out of her pants or something.


Yeah, I got slapped once when I told a guy his spunk tasted funky, but his mom said exactly the same thing so who was he to argue.

After reading your posts, I think I really like you. Let's go have a beer.

/used to hang with a woman with your sense of humor.
//she got married, and I got married.
///now we just pass each other on the street occasionally
////no, we're not married to each other

I'd love to have a beer with you but I have this problem with horrible vaginal odour, and brewers' yeast is just like a total no-no.

You show be green from this point forward.
Thanks for the luls


Thanks! I tend to pop up in most vagina threads.
 
2010-11-04 08:56:53 AM
steerforth:


Yeah, I got slapped once when I told a guy his spunk tasted funky, but his mom said exactly the same thing so who was he to argue.


Win.
 
2010-11-04 08:59:20 AM
img110.imageshack.us
 
2010-11-04 09:06:15 AM
KWPLunchbox: I love my woman and she has excellent hygiene but unfortunately due to medication its like something died inside her. So bj's without having to reciprocate!

I'm not sure Plan B counts as "medication".
 
2010-11-04 09:12:19 AM
cool story, bro:

back in college, i was dating a relatively attractive girl (looked like a young joni mitchell), until one fateful friday night. I knew she had a habit of showering every other day instead of every day (something about her hair or face or something), but as I was headed down south, I thought I smelled something rank. I tried to be cool, cause she was kinda hot, but after a few seconds I asked her when the last time she had showered was. She said Monday. I then pointed out that things were a bit ... intense ... down there. She stuck one of her fingers in, then tasted that finger, and said "it's not that bad." I was so freaked out, I just got up and left. In retrospect, she probably would have been a real freak, but I was too young to know any better.
 
2010-11-04 09:17:49 AM
CleverGuy81: cool story, bro:

back in college, i was dating a relatively attractive girl (looked like a young joni mitchell), until one fateful friday night. I knew she had a habit of showering every other day instead of every day (something about her hair or face or something), but as I was headed down south, I thought I smelled something rank. I tried to be cool, cause she was kinda hot, but after a few seconds I asked her when the last time she had showered was. She said Monday. I then pointed out that things were a bit ... intense ... down there. She stuck one of her fingers in, then tasted that finger, and said "it's not that bad." I was so freaked out, I just got up and left. In retrospect, she probably would have been a real freak, but I was too young to know any better.


Dude, that was her pooper.
 
2010-11-04 09:20:22 AM
If you really wants some pics google the blue waffle. But be forewarned GROSSNESS AHEAD!
 
2010-11-04 09:21:56 AM
media.funlol.com
 
2010-11-04 09:22:38 AM
steerforth: That gagging sound they make while they're down there could mean anything.

Curds?
 
2010-11-04 09:24:59 AM
LavenderWolf: Mykeru: steerforth: Mykeru: "The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.

And it doesn't even have to be a woman we are in a relationship with. We could be standing on line, or at a meeting. Something is a bit off. You try a discreet sniff and then the full horror of the situation dawns on you depending on the prevailing winds or ventilation. You don't want to make a big thing of it, maybe you try to rationalize that it's her feet, but eventually, you have to stop lying to yourself and face up to the realization that the woman whose proximity we are in has a coont that simply stinks.

And she probably doesn't realize it. Maybe she thinks her fetid Taco of Doom™, like her crap, smells of sunshine and lavender, perhaps she thinks its "natural" or doesn't notice it at all. In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.

So that's the reason. I thought it was just my foul looks and miserable personality.

Nope. Someone would have to get past the stink to get to know you have a miserable personality and as far as looks, your bad clam is egalitarian, in that even blind people can hate you.

Honestly, I'd discretely tell a woman such a thing. Probably get slapped, but I'd tell her for the same reason I'd tell her about toilet paper sticking out of her pants or something.


Guy walks into an elevator and turns to the woman in there.

"Can I smell your pussy" he asks.

"Certainly not!" she exclaims

"Ah, must be your feet then"

/Joke stolen from fellow Farker.
 
2010-11-04 09:25:48 AM
Mykeru: steerforth: That gagging sound they make while they're down there could mean anything.

Curds?


No, keys. Now they can drive out.
 
2010-11-04 09:30:06 AM
pervvywanker: Too bad the guy didn't have a cold. She probably just wiped the wrong way.

Those words ... they inflict damage.
 
2010-11-04 09:32:12 AM
Thank you for this most wonderful post/thread. Still laughing in the face of the crushing ennui.
 
2010-11-04 09:35:06 AM
pervvywanker Too bad the guy didn't have a cold. She probably just wiped the wrong way.

That sounds even more appetizing... blech.
 
2010-11-04 09:36:54 AM
t2.gstatic.com

Possible Source
 
2010-11-04 09:37:10 AM
steerforth:
Dude, that was her pooper.


i wasn't that young. plus, she was so skinny, everything was pretty well laid out and visible.

/i miss college girls.
 
2010-11-04 09:37:53 AM
steerforth: I'd love to have a beer with you but I have this problem with horrible vaginal odour,

I have a solution:

We get Tibbets out of retirement. You go out to the deserts of New Mexico, strip off, lay back and point your cooch to the sky. Then we let the Enola Gay (NTTATWWT) do the rest:

www.zamandayolculuk.com
 
2010-11-04 09:37:56 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2010-11-04 09:39:17 AM
Mykeru: steerforth: That gagging sound they make while they're down there could mean anything.

Curds?


You need girls 16-22 otherwise the ricotta comes out to thick.
 
2010-11-04 09:39:27 AM
An unwanted sexual advance landed a Ripley woman in jail

Believe it or not
 
2010-11-04 09:39:59 AM
TappingTheVein: Horrible Vaginal Odor is a great name for a band.

They could open for the Cunning Runts
 
2010-11-04 09:42:07 AM
faxman526: TappingTheVein: Horrible Vaginal Odor is a great name for a band.

They could open for the Cunning Runts


Elvis, as usual was way ahead of that curve.

www.sergent.com.au
 
2010-11-04 09:48:50 AM
Vaginal odor is perverse and often baffling.
 
2010-11-04 09:54:09 AM
RojasMachine: Jesus woman wash out that hole and scrub them roast beef flaps!!!

LOL nice.
 
2010-11-04 09:58:30 AM
this thread is full or win. i plan on re-visiting it all day.
 
2010-11-04 09:58:36 AM
Mykeru: steerforth: That gagging sound they make while they're down there could mean anything.

Curds?


www.kraftafh.com.au

+

www.teara.govt.nz

=

www.thebuzzmedia.com
 
2010-11-04 09:59:43 AM
A blind man walks into a fish market and says "Hello ladies!".

/that is all
 
2010-11-04 10:00:03 AM
Danny and Melissa are estranged spouses who live four doors down from each other within the I-77 Motor Inn

The whole article just screams class, doesn't it.

ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com
 
2010-11-04 10:00:50 AM
Women do not smell like fish unless they have a vaginal infection called Gardnerella. So steer clear of the tuna fish salad smell-- it isn't normal.

/that is all.
 
2010-11-04 10:02:34 AM
But did this take place where the lions and christians fight?

/Probably obscure.
 
2010-11-04 10:03:06 AM
jdogga: RojasMachine: Jesus woman wash out that hole and scrub them roast beef flaps!!!

LOL nice.


Sounds simple: Wash that thing.

Here's the problem.

1. What many women think their cooch is:

www.healyourlife2day.com

2. The reality of what it actually is:

www.bbc.co.uk
 
2010-11-04 10:03:10 AM
It's not normal, but it's an overgrowth of a bacteria that everyone is supposed to have in small amounts. So it's not like that have some kind of weird VD that you're going to catch. I mean, they might have that, too. But really they probably need more probiotics.
 
2010-11-04 10:09:48 AM
Headline for an article posted just a little while ago.

/WTF is it with this shiat today?
//Is it Curdsday?

They were accused of using a woman's bacterial infection to rob a Cleveland convenience store
 
2010-11-04 10:09:59 AM
mytdawg: Danny and Melissa are estranged spouses who live four doors down from each other within the I-77 Motor Inn

The whole article just screams reeks of class, doesn't it.


FTFM
 
2010-11-04 10:11:18 AM
Roy Munson Says...

Sometimes you just have to pay the rent (new window)

/pump and dump
 
2010-11-04 10:12:04 AM
Doggiewoggie: Women do not smell like fish unless they have a vaginal infection called Gardnerella. So steer clear of the tuna fish salad smell-- it isn't normal.

/that is all.


Now one of my old bits of graphic art seems strangely appropriate:

i181.photobucket.com
 
2010-11-04 10:13:27 AM
KWPLunchbox: I love my woman and she has excellent hygiene but unfortunately due to medication its like something died inside her. So bj's without having to reciprocate!

/doctor confirmed
//full of win
///thank generic deity for her Hitachi magic wand


The fact that you manage to see this in a positive light and make it sound like you won the lottery makes me think of Voltaire.

Can I call you Candida?
 
2010-11-04 10:13:53 AM
Doggiewoggie: Women do not smell like fish unless they have a vaginal infection called Gardnerella. So steer clear of the tuna fish salad smell-- it isn't normal.

/that is all.


My motto is "If it smells like bass, go for the ass."
 
2010-11-04 10:14:39 AM
Shower much? Honestly, nasty snatch buildup doesn't happen unless you aren't bathing every day.

/Showers twice a day

//just keepin' it clean...
 
2010-11-04 10:17:16 AM
BumpInTheNight
Was her name Pandora?

No. Pandora kept hope in her box.

This woman has "Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here" tattooed on her mons.
 
2010-11-04 10:17:37 AM
brap: KWPLunchbox: I love my woman and she has excellent hygiene but unfortunately due to medication its like something died inside her. So bj's without having to reciprocate!

/doctor confirmed
//full of win
///thank generic deity for her Hitachi magic wand

The fact that you manage to see this in a positive light and make it sound like you won the lottery makes me think of Voltaire.

Can I call you Candida?


AHA! Well played! +1
 
2010-11-04 10:22:10 AM
More Chicken?

i216.photobucket.com
 
2010-11-04 10:22:28 AM
Mykeru: steerforth: I'd love to have a beer with you but I have this problem with horrible vaginal odour,

I have a solution:

We get Tibbets out of retirement. You go out to the deserts of New Mexico, strip off, lay back and point your cooch to the sky. Then we let the Enola Gay (NTTATWWT) do the rest:


I think I'll stick with my odour issues. Radioactive coont cancer is just too much to deal with now that the Republicans have won back control of Congress and all.
 
2010-11-04 10:22:30 AM
This seems like the right place to put this nscsb:
I once got together with an ex because we were both in need of a farkin. She wanted me to go down on her, which was cool until I got close and it smelled like a cross between wet cat food and 3 week old tuna salad. Told her I had a cold sore so I couldn't do it. So she left.

What do you call a fat chick with a yeast infection?
A whopper with cheese.
 
2010-11-04 10:23:07 AM
Djembe: There are three things that smell like fish.

One of them is fish.

/fz


The other two were obviously growing on her......so gross!!!

Myerku, you are one sick puppy......keep it up (lmao)

Ladies!!! There's no excuse for the fishy booty (besides illness). Sleep naked. Don't wear underwear, especially under tight jeans or under panty hose/tights (the only underwear I wear is Victoria's Secret and I wear it only long enough for it to come off). The booty has to breathe! Don't douche, it messes with the good bacteria and farks with your ph, which will cause odor. Eat pineapple, it makes the booty a bit sweeter.

/do you know what you are...........you are what you is.......
/have had 5 hours of sleep, about delirious but feeling good, have been volunteering with the Triangle Flight of Honor, gonna go to sleep now and be back at the airport to prepare for the WWII veterans' return home from visiting the WWII Memorial in DC
 
2010-11-04 10:28:01 AM
trekkiecougar: Ladies!!! There's no excuse for the fishy booty (besides illness). Sleep naked. Don't wear underwear, especially under tight jeans or under panty hose/tights (the only underwear I wear is Victoria's Secret and I wear it only long enough for it to come off). The booty has to breathe! Don't douche, it messes with the good bacteria and farks with your ph, which will cause odor. Eat pineapple, it makes the booty a bit sweeter.

That word you keep using...
 
2010-11-04 10:29:35 AM
sleeper2995: If you really wants some pics google the blue waffle. But be forewarned GROSSNESS AHEAD!

Its my CSB time:

This past spring I got an email from my 11 year old son's Teacher that he got in trouble that day in technology class. He was telling everyone to google Blue Waffle and a young lady got real grossed out. I had no farking clue what it was at the time. My son was told by the young teens that hang at the corner park to look it up and it was the coolest thing ever. My son hadnt looked it up and he had no idea what he was passing on. I tore though the history of every computer in the house and no signs of it anywhere. Then *I* googled it.....
 
2010-11-04 10:31:46 AM
SpinStopper: God, I miss My Name Is Earl ;)

First thing I thought of when I read: "Danny and Melissa are estranged spouses who live four doors down from each other within the I-77 Motor Inn."

Sounds like part of the opening monologue.
 
2010-11-04 10:32:51 AM
True Story

This happened about 15 years ago. I was attending a meeting that discussed several issues including building maintenance. At which time, a women in the meeting asked if the custodial service could be talked to because the womens room smelled of fish.

I sat there stone faced because I knew if I laughed or said anything that was rushing through my mind, I would be in for some sensitivity training. kermit_the_frog: My motto is "If it smells like bass, go for the ass."

Now being a renouned Butt Muncher myself, I'm thinking if the snatch reeks to high heaven, it's not going to get any better on the flip side, so I would just go find a fresher smelling daisy.
 
2010-11-04 10:34:31 AM
farm3.static.flickr.com
 
2010-11-04 10:40:38 AM
i was dating a relatively attractive girl (looked like a young joni mitchell)

Un, Joni Mitchell is one ugly, skeletor woman...
 
2010-11-04 10:41:14 AM
Calehedron: sleeper2995: If you really wants some pics google the blue waffle. But be forewarned GROSSNESS AHEAD!

Its my CSB time:

This past spring I got an email from my 11 year old son's Teacher that he got in trouble that day in technology class. He was telling everyone to google Blue Waffle and a young lady got real grossed out. I had no farking clue what it was at the time. My son was told by the young teens that hang at the corner park to look it up and it was the coolest thing ever. My son hadnt looked it up and he had no idea what he was passing on. I tore though the history of every computer in the house and no signs of it anywhere. Then *I* googled it.....


I hate you both so much now. I could have not looked it up, I could have. But nooooo, curiosity got the best of me. I wonder if sex will ever be normal for me again?
Thanks again, I hope you are happy.
 
2010-11-04 10:44:28 AM
Aside from the legal hypocrisy of the story (definitely a Fark worthy story), what in the hell was this woman's problem? Does Vagisil cost $1000 a tube in West Virginia? I mean, come on. No, it does not douche itself.

Here, here...glad this story included no pictures. No amount of beer is going to cleanse the thought, though. gurgle...heave...this is sooo bad.
 
2010-11-04 10:45:28 AM
crotch-rot
 
2010-11-04 10:47:01 AM
Charge the beeyotch with whatever you would charge a man for the same situation.

The exact same - naked from the waist down, drunk, waving a knife and threatening; but no sexual contact actually occurring.

Oh and put her on the sex offender registry too.
 
2010-11-04 10:47:12 AM
NightOwl2255: trekkiecougar: Ladies!!! There's no excuse for the fishy booty (besides illness). Sleep naked. Don't wear underwear, especially under tight jeans or under panty hose/tights (the only underwear I wear is Victoria's Secret and I wear it only long enough for it to come off). The booty has to breathe! Don't douche, it messes with the good bacteria and farks with your ph, which will cause odor. Eat pineapple, it makes the booty a bit sweeter.

That word you keep using...


I don't think it means what you think it means.
 
2010-11-04 10:52:53 AM
Calehedron: sleeper2995: If you really wants some pics google the blue waffle. But be forewarned GROSSNESS AHEAD!

Its my CSB time:

This past spring I got an email from my 11 year old son's Teacher that he got in trouble that day in technology class. He was telling everyone to google Blue Waffle and a young lady got real grossed out. I had no farking clue what it was at the time. My son was told by the young teens that hang at the corner park to look it up and it was the coolest thing ever. My son hadnt looked it up and he had no idea what he was passing on. I tore though the history of every computer in the house and no signs of it anywhere. Then *I* googled it.....


WHY?! Oh god why?!
 
2010-11-04 10:54:01 AM
LavenderWolf: FirstNationalBastard: Doctor_Who: Charged only with domestic assault? Ummm shouldn't that be rape? If a man threatened a woman with a knife to perform sexual favours, he would be arrested for rape.

He wouldn't only be arrested, he would be incarcerated for a few years, and have to register as a sex offender.

But, hey, it's only rape when a man does it to a woman. Women are never guilty.

Sad but true, when it comes to sex crime nothing else matters but gender. If only things were equal, and justice for all. It could drive a man to drink whiskey in the jar. Amid all this frantic inequality, some kind of monster has been born. Men are the unforgiven, but either women should be unforgiven too or the judas kiss for men must end. There are men that end up broken, beat, and scarred just for urinating in public. Some women think that we should just kill 'em all, make them jump in the fire. They truly are a master of puppets, forcing a creeping death on men.

/See if you can spot them all.


should we be searching song lyrics or movie quotes?
 
2010-11-04 10:55:18 AM
OBBN: I hate you both so much now. I could have not looked it up, I could have. But nooooo, curiosity got the best of me. I wonder if sex will ever be normal for me again?
Thanks again, I hope you are happy.


This is why I am so happy that I do most of my farking at work. All the crazy, gross stuff is blocked and I'll forget about it by the time I get home.
 
2010-11-04 10:55:49 AM
Calehedron: This past spring I got an email from my 11 year old son's Teacher that he got in trouble that day in technology class. He was telling everyone to google Blue Waffle and a young lady got real grossed out. I had no farking clue what it was at the time. My son was told by the young teens that hang at the corner park to look it up and it was the coolest thing ever. My son hadnt looked it up and he had no idea what he was passing on. I tore though the history of every computer in the house and no signs of it anywhere. Then *I* googled it.....

Sending it to cow-orkers. Thanks dude, you rock!
 
2010-11-04 10:56:06 AM
www.atoasttothese.com
 
2010-11-04 11:00:40 AM
Many years ago I worked with a woman who never washed her coont. She and I were both dental assistants.

I really was trying to figure out how to approach this with the doctors (can you imagine being a patient and having that smelly stinky vagina right next to your face??!!!).

I'm sitting in the office managers office one day and Gretchen (smelly fish head) comes in, says something and then leaves.

The office manager asks me, "Do you smell fish?" I answered, "yeah, it's Gretchen. It smells like she stuck some seafood up there."

Office manager gets up, tells me to leave the office send Gretchen in to see her. Gretchen came out red-faced and upset.

But I never smelled that horrible smell again.

/Smelly story, bro
 
2010-11-04 11:04:09 AM
Poontos, the fresh maker...

NSFW, or if you just ate (new window)
 
2010-11-04 11:05:44 AM
trekkiecougar

Myerku, you are one sick puppy......keep it up (lmao)

What can I say: Practice and dedication to craft.

Ladies!!! There's no excuse for the fishy booty (besides illness). Sleep naked. Don't wear underwear, especially under tight jeans or under panty hose/tights (the only underwear I wear is Victoria's Secret and I wear it only long enough for it to come off).

Ah, where were you before I became all bitter?

/have had 5 hours of sleep, about delirious but feeling good, have been volunteering with the Triangle Flight of Honor, gonna go to sleep now and be back at the airport to prepare for the WWII veterans' return home from visiting the WWII Memorial in DC

I bike past that every day. I hope they weren't at the the World War Two Memorial today. It's craptastically cold and rainy. Then again anyone, like my 89 year-old Great-Uncle Victor, who survived Bastogne -- -- part of the Epic Lulz that was the Battle of the Bulge -- probably doesn't give a crap about a little rain and wet socks.

/Sand in the Vagina of a WWII vet? It's less likely than you think.
 
2010-11-04 11:06:56 AM
Smelly coont, smelly coont
What have you been douching with?
Smelly coont, smelly coont
It IS your fault!
 
2010-11-04 11:07:17 AM
LavenderWolf: Calehedron: sleeper2995: If you really wants some pics google the blue waffle. But be forewarned GROSSNESS AHEAD!

Its my CSB time:

This past spring I got an email from my 11 year old son's Teacher that he got in trouble that day in technology class. He was telling everyone to google Blue Waffle and a young lady got real grossed out. I had no farking clue what it was at the time. My son was told by the young teens that hang at the corner park to look it up and it was the coolest thing ever. My son hadnt looked it up and he had no idea what he was passing on. I tore though the history of every computer in the house and no signs of it anywhere. Then *I* googled it.....

WHY?! Oh god why?!


I just looked it up on urban dictionary. A clear enough explanation without videos or images...

/I assume the google search has videos and images
//no intention of finding out for myself
 
2010-11-04 11:08:45 AM
"Watson agreed he would perform at her request."

He's stealing my moves.
 
2010-11-04 11:10:45 AM
Cletus C.: "Watson agreed he would perform at her request."

He's stealing my moves.


"Cover me, Holmes, I'm going in..."
 
2010-11-04 11:15:49 AM
steerforth: I think I'll stick with my odour issues. Radioactive coont cancer is just too much to deal with now that the Republicans have won back control of Congress and all.

Not to inject politics into a discussion of stinky vaginas, but I think the Republicans winning back the House (not the whole Congress) is a good thing. My reasoning goes like this: Republicans are leeches that want to milk this country dry and outsource the mummified remains. Middle and working class people who vote Republican are dumber than a bag of Fischer-Price plastic squeaky hammers. However, you can only distract stupid people with "teh ghey" and fears of rampaging hordes of Mexicans and Obama confiscating their Remy pump shotgun to get them to vote against their own interest so long. But, as mentioned, people are really stupid. Like drunks, people need to hit bottom before they wake the fark up. Unfortunately, the Republicans have been able to pass the buck or have their asses hauled out of the fire too many time for things that would have been hysterically surreal were it not for, say, all the dead Iraqis. What we need to do is give Republicans unfettered power to wage war, eviscerate the economy, and engage in an epic transfer of wealth upwards. Then, when we are all rolling in their schit, so much so that they can't weasel out of the consequences of their policies, we can round them up and behead them. In public. With free popcorn.

In other words: stop making lame political excuses for your stinkin' hair-pie.
 
2010-11-04 11:21:25 AM
Mykeru: fetid Taco of Doom

Now THIS.... THIS is a great band name.
 
2010-11-04 11:21:33 AM
CleverGuy81: cool story, bro:

back in college, i was dating a relatively attractive girl (looked like a young joni mitchell), until one fateful friday night. I knew she had a habit of showering every other day instead of every day (something about her hair or face or something), but as I was headed down south, I thought I smelled something rank. I tried to be cool, cause she was kinda hot...




These phrases DO NOT go together. And she didn't bathe regularly? Yeesh it was college, there were more fish in th....err, um...I woulda picked another chick...
 
2010-11-04 11:23:55 AM
Blue Waffle? What? Sounds NSFW.

Well, I do have my Motorola 'Droid...

Uh..."Blue Waffle" disease. OK...a little GIS...

Urrr...urgh...lotsa thumbnails...*click*



static.tvtropes.org


OH, DAMN YOU!!! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!
 
2010-11-04 11:27:04 AM
www.savingwithshellie.com
 
2010-11-04 11:27:05 AM
Mykeru: Not to inject politics into a discussion of stinky vaginas, but I think the Republicans winning back the House (not the whole Congress) is a good thing. My reasoning goes like this: Republicans are leeches that want to milk this country dry and outsource the mummified remains. Middle and working class people who vote Republican are dumber than a bag of Fischer-Price plastic squeaky hammers. However, you can only distract stupid people with "teh ghey" and fears of rampaging hordes of Mexicans and Obama confiscating their Remy pump shotgun to get them to vote against their own interest so long. But, as mentioned, people are really stupid. Like drunks, people need to hit bottom before they wake the fark up. Unfortunately, the Republicans have been able to pass the buck or have their asses hauled out of the fire too many time for things that would have been hysterically surreal were it not for, say, all the dead Iraqis. What we need to do is give Republicans unfettered power to wage war, eviscerate the economy, and engage in an epic transfer of wealth upwards. Then, when we are all rolling in their schit, so much so that they can't weasel out of the consequences of their policies, we can round them up and behead them. In public. With free popcorn.

While I agree with you on most points, I take exception with two.

1. Supply of teh stupid appears to be unlimited and I don't think the unwashed masses will ever catch on that there is no cheese at the end of the labyrinth.

2. Fisher Price plastic squeaky hammers have an actual use where as the lemming like hordes of easily frightened Beck fans do not. Well, 2 turntables and a microphone was okay.

They deserve what we get. Say what you want though, that 8 year ordeal was the heist of the century. It was an epic dine and dash on the taxpayers tab. And it smelled as bad as this coont as soon as you got close enough for a whiff.
 
2010-11-04 11:28:51 AM
Chef's Special: Pink Snapper with Limburger Sauce accompanied by a side of Tongue.

3.bp.blogspot.com

Tree Rot?
 
2010-11-04 11:30:17 AM
Having lived most of my life in West Virginia I am never disappointed by the fact that our little state may not have the hardcore crazy of Florida but when we do make Fark, we do it with the highest possible degree of awesome!!

Montani Semper Liberi..... Indeed.
 
2010-11-04 11:31:44 AM
Danny stated that he declined the invitation, however, Watson agreed he would perform at her request. The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further.

It was at this point Melissa allegedly produced a lock-back folding knife, pointed it at Danny and stated, "somebody is going to [perform a sexual act on me] or I'm going to cut your [expletive] throat."



Precede?

"SOMEBODY'S GUNNA CHOMP MY CHONCH OR ELSE IMA CUT A biatch!"

i love this story so very much.

and where's johnny cochran when you need him? "If her coonch smelled filthy, my client is not guilty!" "Her snapper smelled like shiat, so the jury must acquit!" "It smelled like fermented pee, so my client must walk free!" "she didn't wash with Dial, I request a mistrial!"
 
2010-11-04 11:36:40 AM
Mykeru: steerforth: I think I'll stick with my odour issues. Radioactive coont cancer is just too much to deal with now that the Republicans have won back control of Congress and all.

Not to inject politics into a discussion of stinky vaginas, but I think the Republicans winning back the House (not the whole Congress) is a good thing. My reasoning goes like this: Republicans are leeches that want to milk this country dry and outsource the mummified remains. Middle and working class people who vote Republican are dumber than a bag of Fischer-Price plastic squeaky hammers. However, you can only distract stupid people with "teh ghey" and fears of rampaging hordes of Mexicans and Obama confiscating their Remy pump shotgun to get them to vote against their own interest so long. But, as mentioned, people are really stupid. Like drunks, people need to hit bottom before they wake the fark up. Unfortunately, the Republicans have been able to pass the buck or have their asses hauled out of the fire too many time for things that would have been hysterically surreal were it not for, say, all the dead Iraqis. What we need to do is give Republicans unfettered power to wage war, eviscerate the economy, and engage in an epic transfer of wealth upwards. Then, when we are all rolling in their schit, so much so that they can't weasel out of the consequences of their policies, we can round them up and behead them. In public. With free popcorn.

In other words: stop making lame political excuses for your stinkin' hair-pie.


What the fark would I know about American politics and all of your problems with pie and Iraqis and spelling and rampaging Mexican asses and all. I'm an Australian. Down here, our coonts smell like clover. CLOVER.

www.digitalscrapbookingnow.com

/Warning, if you do visit one day, don't approach the penises under any circumstances.
 
2010-11-04 11:43:47 AM
1. This thread is full of win.
2. This thread has put me off sex (and genitalia in any context) forever.
 
2010-11-04 11:43:52 AM
Mykeru: "The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.
In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.


Gentlemen, I feel your pain. And your scorched nose hairs.


Wow, dude, just... really... WOW. You seriously need help. There's some misogyny, some compensation issues, and a whole lot of impotent rage going on in your head. Seriously, we get it, you don't like her. She made fun of your obese wife that had cancer, and now you've gone insane trying to prove that it's her, not you, and packs the crazy.

Please, SFTU or GTFO.
 
2010-11-04 11:45:58 AM
Brick-House: Now being a renouned Butt Muncher myself, I'm thinking if the snatch reeks to high heaven, it's not going to get any better on the flip side, so I would just go find a fresher smelling daisy.

If it smells like trout, GTFO?
 
2010-11-04 11:46:04 AM
mytdawg: While I agree with you on most points, I take exception with two.

I should warn you up front that disagreeing with me is prima facie evidence of being just plain wrong, but I will hear you out.

1. Supply of teh stupid appears to be unlimited and I don't think the unwashed masses will ever catch on that there is no cheese at the end of the labyrinth.

Yeah, okay, you got me there. I think it's likely that there will always be an irreducible 25% of Americans who will vote fringe Republican, support Creationism and generally do the playbook of right-wing authoritarian followers. That's why the Teabaggers want to eliminate the Department of Education. Not because of religious or financial objections, but just to promote stupid generally.

Then again, think of other social abominations that have been driven underground or eliminated entirely. Often it took years, even bloodshed, but it was accomplished. I am, of course referring to one thing: Disco.

2. Fisher Price plastic squeaky hammers have an actual use where as the lemming like hordes of easily frightened Beck fans do not. Well, 2 turntables and a microphone was okay.

True, but once again, I don't think the solution to the problem of wingnut lemmings are toy hammers. Or even real hammers.

Bricks are cheaper. Yes, let me re-iterate my solution to the problem: Hit them with bricks. Lots and lots of bricks. Even if they don't move, brick 'em again just to be sure.

They deserve what we get. Say what you want though, that 8 year ordeal was the heist of the century. It was an epic dine and dash on the taxpayers tab. And it smelled as bad as this coont as soon as you got close enough for a whiff.

After 8 years of a dumb cypher of a president selected by the Supreme Court (in a decision so surreal that you could make a sandwich with it using Dred Scott and Citizen's United as the bread) that there is no equivalency. That is to say, a poor minority organization like Acorn could be shut down by some dickless wingnut geek kid in a bad pimp outfit edited into a fraudulent tape but, at the same time, if Karl Rove and the Koch Brothers killed an underage hooker, wrapped the dismembered corpse in the Constitution stolen from the National Archives, buried her in Ground Zero and then took a hot steaming dump on the grave, a good percentage of people would believe it when Fox News applauded them for "fertilizing" and making the flowers grow.

Now, back to smelly twunts...
 
2010-11-04 11:52:10 AM
Alright, fess up. Which Farkette was it? Out yourself.
 
2010-11-04 11:52:29 AM
Mykeru: mytdawg: While I agree with you on most points, I take exception with two.

I should warn you up front that disagreeing with me is prima facie evidence of being just plain wrong, but I will hear you out.

1. Supply of teh stupid appears to be unlimited and I don't think the unwashed masses will ever catch on that there is no cheese at the end of the labyrinth.

Yeah, okay, you got me there. I think it's likely that there will always be an irreducible 25% of Americans who will vote fringe Republican, support Creationism and generally do the playbook of right-wing authoritarian followers. That's why the Teabaggers want to eliminate the Department of Education. Not because of religious or financial objections, but just to promote stupid generally.

Then again, think of other social abominations that have been driven underground or eliminated entirely. Often it took years, even bloodshed, but it was accomplished. I am, of course referring to one thing: Disco.

2. Fisher Price plastic squeaky hammers have an actual use where as the lemming like hordes of easily frightened Beck fans do not. Well, 2 turntables and a microphone was okay.

True, but once again, I don't think the solution to the problem of wingnut lemmings are toy hammers. Or even real hammers.

Bricks are cheaper. Yes, let me re-iterate my solution to the problem: Hit them with bricks. Lots and lots of bricks. Even if they don't move, brick 'em again just to be sure.

They deserve what we get. Say what you want though, that 8 year ordeal was the heist of the century. It was an epic dine and dash on the taxpayers tab. And it smelled as bad as this coont as soon as you got close enough for a whiff.

After 8 years of a dumb cypher of a president selected by the Supreme Court (in a decision so surreal that you could make a sandwich with it using Dred Scott and Citizen's United as the bread) that there is no equivalency. That is to say, a poor minority organization like Acorn could be shut down by some dickless wingnut geek kid in a bad pimp outfit edited into a fraudulent tape but, at the same time, if Karl Rove and the Koch Brothers killed an underage hooker, wrapped the dismembered corpse in the Constitution stolen from the National Archives, buried her in Ground Zero and then took a hot steaming dump on the grave, a good percentage of people would believe it when Fox News applauded them for "fertilizing" and making the flowers grow.

Now, back to smelly twunts...


You sound like your vagina needs a douche.
 
2010-11-04 11:55:03 AM
steerforth: I'm an Australian.

That's terrible. And I feel badly for you, but it's hardly my fault.

However, I doubt your story now. Even if you have the most rancid coont on Earth, you are in Australia. I mean, it's not like it's going to make you stick out any.

Look, I've never been to Australia, but I've been to Shanghai and they get Australians. And as someone who once had to take a crap on a sleeper train from Qifu to Beijing -- which was basically a hole in the floor right over the tracks -- it really takes an Australian to make the Chinese, of all people, to start thinking about the downside of poor personal hygiene.
 
2010-11-04 12:01:57 PM
TelJanin: Mykeru: "The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.
In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.


Gentlemen, I feel your pain. And your scorched nose hairs.

Wow, dude, just... really... WOW. You seriously need help. There's some misogyny, some compensation issues, and a whole lot of impotent rage going on in your head. Seriously, we get it, you don't like her. She made fun of your obese wife that had cancer, and now you've gone insane trying to prove that it's her, not you, and packs the crazy.

Please, SFTU or GTFO.


Feminine odor got you down?
 
2010-11-04 12:04:28 PM
TelJanin: Wow, dude, just... really... WOW. You seriously need help. There's some misogyny, some compensation issues, and a whole lot of impotent rage going on in your head. Seriously, we get it, you don't like her. She made fun of your obese wife that had cancer, and now you've gone insane trying to prove that it's her, not you, and packs the crazy.

Please, SFTU or GTFO.


My wife was quite the heifer for a 5'3", 97 lb woman. I guess for all your complaining you are one of the "your wife was fat" people. Go ahead, be a dumbass. I can't stop you and no one can fix it. Enjoy.

However, you are correct about the misogyny. However, I'm confused by you using the word like it's a bad thing. Please don't disparage my lifestyle choice. And you are right, I can only compensate so much although, I've got to admit, being able to masturbate using Cheerios is pretty cost-effective. You're just jealous.

Please respond with something even dumber than your original post. I have high hopes. When people tell you you've reached the heights of being a dumbass, that you can't possibly top yourself with breathless stupid, don't believe them. You can do it. I have faith in you.

Don't let me down.
 
2010-11-04 12:06:40 PM
I think a lot of chicks have hangups about really touching themselves, even just to bathe and get clean. I like to think people are getting generally cooler about this crap, but religion and ignorance still prevails too often..

Ladies, don't use douches, soaps, gels, or chemical products in general. Just fracking WASH. At the risk of making a bunch of farkers fap to my visuals, the best way to keep your vag healthy and not smelly is to run a hot bath or shower, and open the folds, nooks and crannys with your fingers and just wash off the outside bits. You should also gently scrape a finger nail along the inner lips to get out the bits of moisture, toilet paper and panty fuzz that tends to accumulate there. The anus and taint should get the same treatment.

On date nights, stick a finger in there, and clean out the entrance, too. Just plain old water and friction does the trick. But it requires daily maintenance.

/Trust me, I'm an expert
//my man specifically told me that my feminine hygiene is impeccable
///a healthy diet also improves your entire body odor!
////fap!

files.sharenator.com
 
2010-11-04 12:07:10 PM
steerforth: You sound like your vagina needs a douche.

The one in a mason jar full of formaldehyde is just fine, thanks.
 
2010-11-04 12:07:30 PM
rickythepenguin: Danny stated that he declined the invitation, however, Watson agreed he would perform at her request. The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further.

It was at this point Melissa allegedly produced a lock-back folding knife, pointed it at Danny and stated, "somebody is going to [perform a sexual act on me] or I'm going to cut your [expletive] throat."


Precede?

"SOMEBODY'S GUNNA CHOMP MY CHONCH OR ELSE IMA CUT A biatch!"

i love this story so very much.

and where's johnny cochran when you need him? "If her coonch smelled filthy, my client is not guilty!" "Her snapper smelled like shiat, so the jury must acquit!" "It smelled like fermented pee, so my client must walk free!" "she didn't wash with Dial, I request a mistrial!"


And "chomp my conch" is my new favorite phrase for the day.
 
2010-11-04 12:13:41 PM
Ho go home and wash out your beaver.
 
2010-11-04 12:14:41 PM
Haha, my favorite part...

"Upon arriving, Mellinger met Danny R. William, James A. Watson and Melissa L. Williams; Danny and Melissa are estranged spouses who live four doors down from each other within the I-77 Motor Inn."

and then...

"Danny stated that he declined the invitation, however, Watson agreed he would perform at her request. The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

So, it wasn't even the spouse who initially agreed to do it? It was his pal? HAHAHA! Sounds like the husband already knew the dangers involved. Man, things get crazy at the I-77 Motor Inn.
 
2010-11-04 12:20:49 PM
Mom, do you ever get that 'not so fresh feeling?'
 
2010-11-04 12:24:06 PM
steerforth: Thanks! I tend to pop up in most vagina threads.

Yeah, so do I but we're probably not using the same phrase in the same way...
 
2010-11-04 12:38:15 PM
Mykeru: TelJanin: Wow, dude, just... really... WOW. You seriously need help. There's some misogyny, some compensation issues, and a whole lot of impotent rage going on in your head. Seriously, we get it, you don't like her. She made fun of your obese wife that had cancer, and now you've gone insane trying to prove that it's her, not you, and packs the crazy.

Please, SFTU or GTFO.

My wife was quite the heifer for a 5'3", 97 lb woman. I guess for all your complaining you are one of the "your wife was fat" people. Go ahead, be a dumbass. I can't stop you and no one can fix it. Enjoy.

However, you are correct about the misogyny. However, I'm confused by you using the word like it's a bad thing. Please don't disparage my lifestyle choice. And you are right, I can only compensate so much although, I've got to admit, being able to masturbate using Cheerios is pretty cost-effective. You're just jealous.

Please respond with something even dumber than your original post. I have high hopes. When people tell you you've reached the heights of being a dumbass, that you can't possibly top yourself with breathless stupid, don't believe them. You can do it. I have faith in you.

Don't let me down.


Honey Nut, or Original? Mabye add it to your Amazon Wishlist, I'll pitch in for a delivered box.

Cheers, nothing more here to see.
 
2010-11-04 12:40:36 PM
this is even better than the "I don't bathe every day but I really don't stink" thread the other day.
 
2010-11-04 12:57:11 PM
Ladies (or men who are now ladies), if your coont smells so bad that you end up on fark, you are going to need the biggest Douche on the planet to solve the problem. Being a lover of clean pussies, I'm just going to leave this here for you all to use as you deem necessary. Hope it helps.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2010-11-04 01:02:23 PM
i.cdn.turner.com

Pic of the woman, from the thread that's about to disappear.

You would. I know you would. Rawr, cougar!!
 
2010-11-04 01:04:17 PM
www.adennak.com
 
2010-11-04 01:04:45 PM
The last time my cooch smelled terrible I had an infection called BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. You could smell it from clear across the room. It was a nightmare to get rid of, took 6 months to go away. It smelled like a mixture of sulfur and fish. If this is the smell you're talking about, it is likely an overgrowth of Gardnerella aka BV aka BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. It is very hard to get rid of and can last for years in some women. It has to do with immune system function and healthy eating habits. Personally I am very sorry for the women who have it long term. Don't pick on them, it's a sorry state to be in and usually has nothing to do with HYGIENE since the smell recurs almost immediately after you wash. Assholes.
 
2010-11-04 01:11:57 PM
territ: I think a lot of chicks have hangups about really touching themselves, even just to bathe and get clean. I like to think people are getting generally cooler about this crap, but religion and ignorance still prevails too often..

Ladies, don't use douches, soaps, gels, or chemical products in general. Just fracking WASH. At the risk of making a bunch of farkers fap to my visuals, the best way to keep your vag healthy and not smelly is to run a hot bath or shower, and open the folds, nooks and crannys with your fingers and just wash off the outside bits. You should also gently scrape a finger nail along the inner lips to get out the bits of moisture, toilet paper and panty fuzz that tends to accumulate there. The anus and taint should get the same treatment.

On date nights, stick a finger in there, and clean out the entrance, too. Just plain old water and friction does the trick. But it requires daily maintenance.

/Trust me, I'm an expert
//my man specifically told me that my feminine hygiene is impeccable
///a healthy diet also improves your entire body odor!
////fap!


BEEZ nobody needs to be using daily maintenance on their cooch. How many cooches are you licking? You only know about yours. Speak for your own brainwashed self. A couple baths a week and you're good. Another thing: considering you're free of DISEASE and all a man should like your smell. If he doesn't, dump his lame ass. All these hygenic standards come from the fact that a lot of men are terrified of pussy. Terrified. They're scared little boys.
 
2010-11-04 01:12:22 PM
7473r4: The last time my cooch smelled terrible I had an infection called BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. You could smell it from clear across the room. It was a nightmare to get rid of, took 6 months to go away. It smelled like a mixture of sulfur and fish. If this is the smell you're talking about, it is likely an overgrowth of Gardnerella aka BV aka BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. It is very hard to get rid of and can last for years in some women. It has to do with immune system function and healthy eating habits. Personally I am very sorry for the women who have it long term. Don't pick on them, it's a sorry state to be in and usually has nothing to do with HYGIENE since the smell recurs almost immediately after you wash. Assholes.

Good story bro, I mean ho!
 
2010-11-04 01:18:13 PM
j0e_average: 7473r4: The last time my cooch smelled terrible I had an infection called BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. You could smell it from clear across the room. It was a nightmare to get rid of, took 6 months to go away. It smelled like a mixture of sulfur and fish. If this is the smell you're talking about, it is likely an overgrowth of Gardnerella aka BV aka BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. It is very hard to get rid of and can last for years in some women. It has to do with immune system function and healthy eating habits. Personally I am very sorry for the women who have it long term. Don't pick on them, it's a sorry state to be in and usually has nothing to do with HYGIENE since the smell recurs almost immediately after you wash. Assholes.

Good story bro, I mean ho!


Aren't you a clever one?
 
2010-11-04 01:18:20 PM
i428.photobucket.com
 
2010-11-04 01:18:47 PM
i132.photobucket.com
i132.photobucket.com
 
2010-11-04 01:19:55 PM
7473r4: territ: I think a lot of chicks have hangups about really touching themselves, even just to bathe and get clean. I like to think people are getting generally cooler about this crap, but religion and ignorance still prevails too often..

Ladies, don't use douches, soaps, gels, or chemical products in general. Just fracking WASH. At the risk of making a bunch of farkers fap to my visuals, the best way to keep your vag healthy and not smelly is to run a hot bath or shower, and open the folds, nooks and crannys with your fingers and just wash off the outside bits. You should also gently scrape a finger nail along the inner lips to get out the bits of moisture, toilet paper and panty fuzz that tends to accumulate there. The anus and taint should get the same treatment.

On date nights, stick a finger in there, and clean out the entrance, too. Just plain old water and friction does the trick. But it requires daily maintenance.

/Trust me, I'm an expert
//my man specifically told me that my feminine hygiene is impeccable
///a healthy diet also improves your entire body odor!
////fap!

BEEZ nobody needs to be using daily maintenance on their cooch. How many cooches are you licking? You only know about yours. Speak for your own brainwashed self. A couple baths a week and you're good. Another thing: considering you're free of DISEASE and all a man should like your smell. If he doesn't, dump his lame ass. All these hygenic standards come from the fact that a lot of men are terrified of pussy. Terrified. They're scared little boys.


It's the woman in the article! Run!
 
2010-11-04 01:20:53 PM
www.food.pinkhairedgirl.com
 
2010-11-04 01:21:37 PM
7473r4: territ: I think a lot of chicks have hangups about really touching themselves, even just to bathe and get clean. I like to think people are getting generally cooler about this crap, but religion and ignorance still prevails too often..

Ladies, don't use douches, soaps, gels, or chemical products in general. Just fracking WASH. At the risk of making a bunch of farkers fap to my visuals, the best way to keep your vag healthy and not smelly is to run a hot bath or shower, and open the folds, nooks and crannys with your fingers and just wash off the outside bits. You should also gently scrape a finger nail along the inner lips to get out the bits of moisture, toilet paper and panty fuzz that tends to accumulate there. The anus and taint should get the same treatment.

On date nights, stick a finger in there, and clean out the entrance, too. Just plain old water and friction does the trick. But it requires daily maintenance.

/Trust me, I'm an expert
//my man specifically told me that my feminine hygiene is impeccable
///a healthy diet also improves your entire body odor!
////fap!

BEEZ nobody needs to be using daily maintenance on their cooch. How many cooches are you licking? You only know about yours. Speak for your own brainwashed self. A couple baths a week and you're good. Another thing: considering you're free of DISEASE and all a man should like your smell. If he doesn't, dump his lame ass. All these hygenic standards come from the fact that a lot of men are terrified of pussy. Terrified. They're scared little boys.


It's a mucus membrane. Just like the mouth needs care to stay fresh, so does the vagina. I accept women have different standards for their own personal hygiene, that's fine. But I clean myself with just plain old water daily and my lover is very thankful for it. If you've found a man who enjoys crotch funk (and there most certainly is funk there if you're only washing it twice a week, ick!), then more power to you both.

After just a regular day of working, walking, sweating, urinating, and pooing, that area gets grimey. I wouldn't subject my man to a smelly undercarriage, and I really enjoy oral sex, so everything gets a quick daily wash. It takes all of 5 minutes.

And the same goes for you fellas. As long as my man gives himself a cursory wash regularly, the BJs are far more frequent. It's just a courtsey thing for the one who is down there on his or her knees for you.
 
2010-11-04 01:23:11 PM
7473r4: The smell recurs almost immediately after you wash. Assholes.

Well there's your problem. You're washing in the wrong place.
 
2010-11-04 01:25:17 PM
7473r4: The last time my cooch smelled terrible I had an infection called BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. You could smell it from clear across the room. It was a nightmare to get rid of, took 6 months to go away. It smelled like a mixture of sulfur and fish. If this is the smell you're talking about, it is likely an overgrowth of Gardnerella aka BV aka BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. It is very hard to get rid of and can last for years in some women. It has to do with immune system function and healthy eating habits. Personally I am very sorry for the women who have it long term. Don't pick on them, it's a sorry state to be in and usually has nothing to do with HYGIENE since the smell recurs almost immediately after you wash. Assholes.


Where have YOU been all my life, doll?????????????????

Hit me on the cellie, baby girl. You.........know how to hit me on the cellie, don't you? You just.......put your lips together, and.......hit me on the cellie.
 
2010-11-04 01:26:15 PM
Can't believe I'm the first, C+P:

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=12094
 
2010-11-04 01:26:54 PM
7473r4: The last time my cooch smelled terrible I had an infection called BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. You could smell it from clear across the room. It was a nightmare to get rid of, took 6 months to go away. It smelled like a mixture of sulfur and fish. If this is the smell you're talking about, it is likely an overgrowth of Gardnerella aka BV aka BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. It is very hard to get rid of and can last for years in some women. It has to do with immune system function and healthy eating habits. Personally I am very sorry for the women who have it long term. Don't pick on them, it's a sorry state to be in and usually has nothing to do with HYGIENE since the smell recurs almost immediately after you wash. Assholes.

Golly, that sounds almost as bad as THE GUM DISEASE GINGIVITIS...
 
2010-11-04 01:27:48 PM
territ: After just a regular day of working, walking, sweating, urinating, and pooing, that area gets grimey.


Where have YOU been all my life, doll?????????????????

Hit me on the cellie, baby girl. You.........know how to hit me on the cellie, don't you? You just.......put your lips together, and.......hit me on the cellie.
 
2010-11-04 01:31:48 PM
i1231.photobucket.com

FTFY
 
2010-11-04 01:33:05 PM
7473r4:BEEZ nobody needs to be using daily maintenance on their cooch. How many cooches are you licking? You only know about yours. Speak for your own brainwashed self. A couple baths a week and you're good. Another thing: considering you're free of DISEASE and all a man should like your smell. If he doesn't, dump his lame ass. All these hygenic standards come from the fact that a lot of men are terrified of pussy. Terrified. They're scared little boys.

I agree with this. BUT even with daily washing, you still have your natural personal body aroma. In fact I'd say daily washing helps to accentuate your personal smell. You can't ever fully get rid of it, not that you'd want to. Sense of smell is very powerful and can greatly intensify sexuality. And it can also make it a horrid experience if you're funky (see linked article). I'm not talking about nuking your crotch from orbit... just washing off the outer bits before you get naked with someone.

But the fact remains that after a normal day of basic bodily functions, your crotch gets grimy. I'd give it a pass if there was going to be no oral involved, but I, for one, greatly appreciate a lover who bothers to wash of residual grime that builds up after a day of just wearing pants. I live in a very hot climate, so maybe that's what drives me. Sweaty crotch is icky.

But your mileage, of course, obviously varies. Maybe I'm a bit of a hygiene freak, but my vag smells awesome. I should get an award.
 
2010-11-04 01:33:36 PM
7473r4: BEEZ nobody needs to be using daily maintenance on their cooch. How many cooches are you licking? You only know about yours. Speak for your own brainwashed self. A couple baths a week and you're good. Another thing: considering you're free of DISEASE and all a man should like your smell. If he doesn't, dump his lame ass. All these hygenic standards come from the fact that a lot of men are terrified of pussy. Terrified. They're scared little boys.

Best of both worlds: Obnoxious AND filthy. You could probably make a killing at your local Motel 6.
 
2010-11-04 01:41:10 PM
7473r4: The last time my cooch smelled terrible I had an infection called BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. You could smell it from clear across the room. It was a nightmare to get rid of, took 6 months to go away. It smelled like a mixture of sulfur and fish. If this is the smell you're talking about, it is likely an overgrowth of Gardnerella aka BV aka BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. It is very hard to get rid of and can last for years in some women. It has to do with immune system function and healthy eating habits. Personally I am very sorry for the women who have it long term. Don't pick on them, it's a sorry state to be in and usually has nothing to do with HYGIENE since the smell recurs almost immediately after you wash. Assholes.

washing the assholes doesn't seem like the right approach. very close though. just an inch or two off.
 
2010-11-04 01:55:35 PM
7473r4: territ: I think a lot of chicks have hangups about really touching themselves, even just to bathe and get clean. I like to think people are getting generally cooler about this crap, but religion and ignorance still prevails too often..

Ladies, don't use douches, soaps, gels, or chemical products in general. Just fracking WASH. At the risk of making a bunch of farkers fap to my visuals, the best way to keep your vag healthy and not smelly is to run a hot bath or shower, and open the folds, nooks and crannys with your fingers and just wash off the outside bits. You should also gently scrape a finger nail along the inner lips to get out the bits of moisture, toilet paper and panty fuzz that tends to accumulate there. The anus and taint should get the same treatment.

On date nights, stick a finger in there, and clean out the entrance, too. Just plain old water and friction does the trick. But it requires daily maintenance.

/Trust me, I'm an expert
//my man specifically told me that my feminine hygiene is impeccable
///a healthy diet also improves your entire body odor!
////fap!

BEEZ nobody needs to be using daily maintenance on their cooch. How many cooches are you licking? You only know about yours. Speak for your own brainwashed self. A couple baths a week and you're good. Another thing: considering you're free of DISEASE and all a man should like your smell. If he doesn't, dump his lame ass. All these hygenic standards come from the fact that a lot of men are terrified of pussy. Terrified. They're scared little boys.


someone is angry at the penis
 
2010-11-04 01:57:18 PM
7473r4:
Aren't you a clever one?



Glad you enjoyed it. It gave me a mild chuckle as well.
 
2010-11-04 01:57:37 PM
7473r4: BEEZ nobody needs to be using daily maintenance on their cooch. How many cooches are you licking? You only know about yours. Speak for your own brainwashed self. A couple baths a week and you're good. Another thing: considering you're free of DISEASE and all a man should like your smell. If he doesn't, dump his lame ass. All these hygenic standards come from the fact that a lot of men are terrified of pussy. Terrified. They're scared little boys.


So because I love my cats, I shouldn't mind that their breath smells like roadkill? fark that noise. Wash yourself before you wreck yourself.
 
2010-11-04 01:58:08 PM
I love it when women complain about getting a tablespoon of semen in their mouth, when we guys have to lick up gallons of clam juice in the course of doing our duties.
 
2010-11-04 02:05:16 PM
steerforth

That kitty's expression is just priceless!
 
2010-11-04 02:08:08 PM
As I read this thread, I can practically hear the Bloodhound Gang's "Kiss me where it smells funny" playing.

/Came twice last year like a Sears catalogue
 
2010-11-04 02:09:10 PM
The Malingerer: FTFY

Can't breathe, laughing too hard...
 
2010-11-04 02:09:43 PM
Thoroughly With Foil: There's something awfully fishy about this story...

If it smells like cologne, leave it alone.....
 
2010-11-04 02:13:05 PM
TelJanin: Mykeru: TelJanin: Wow, dude, just... really... WOW. You seriously need help. There's some misogyny, some compensation issues, and a whole lot of impotent rage going on in your head. Seriously, we get it, you don't like her. She made fun of your obese wife that had cancer, and now you've gone insane trying to prove that it's her, not you, and packs the crazy.

Please, SFTU or GTFO.

My wife was quite the heifer for a 5'3", 97 lb woman. I guess for all your complaining you are one of the "your wife was fat" people. Go ahead, be a dumbass. I can't stop you and no one can fix it. Enjoy.

However, you are correct about the misogyny. However, I'm confused by you using the word like it's a bad thing. Please don't disparage my lifestyle choice. And you are right, I can only compensate so much although, I've got to admit, being able to masturbate using Cheerios is pretty cost-effective. You're just jealous.

Please respond with something even dumber than your original post. I have high hopes. When people tell you you've reached the heights of being a dumbass, that you can't possibly top yourself with breathless stupid, don't believe them. You can do it. I have faith in you.

Don't let me down.

Honey Nut, or Original? Mabye add it to your Amazon Wishlist, I'll pitch in for a delivered box.

Cheers, nothing more here to see.


Amazon wishlist? What are you talking abo--

Oh, nevermind:

i181.photobucket.com
 
2010-11-04 02:13:51 PM
rickythepenguin:i love this story so very much.

and where's johnny cochran when you need him? "If her coonch smelled filthy, my client is not guilty!" "Her snapper smelled like shiat, so the jury must acquit!" "It smelled like fermented pee, so my client must walk free!" "she didn't wash with Dial, I request a mistrial!"


"If she could only get head with a knife, free the husband and haul in the wife!"
"If her coont smelled so much like a pisser, then the guilty one must be Melissa!"
 
2010-11-04 02:15:41 PM
7473r4: BEEZ nobody needs to be using daily maintenance on their cooch. How many cooches are you licking? You only know about yours. Speak for your own brainwashed self. A couple baths a week and you're good. Another thing: considering you're free of DISEASE and all a man should like your smell. If he doesn't, dump his lame ass. All these hygenic standards come from the fact that a lot of men are terrified of pussy. Terrified. They're scared little boys.

Agreed, hell I'll even eat it out after dumping my baby batter in the split bowl wound
 
2010-11-04 02:15:44 PM
Sum Dum Gai: KWPLunchbox: I love my woman and she has excellent hygiene but unfortunately due to medication its like something died inside her. So bj's without having to reciprocate!

I'm not sure Plan B counts as "medication".


Win! Very much win!
 
2010-11-04 02:16:55 PM
What about a vaginal "o" door?
 
2010-11-04 02:19:24 PM
cryinoutloud: Pic of the woman, from the thread that's about to disappear.

You would. I know you would. Rawr, cougar!!


You, sirrah, are a trooper...I salute you.

/You poor bastard.
//*looking for guy with "Not sure if serious" pic*
 
2010-11-04 02:22:51 PM
The Malingerer: FTFY

I cringed. Oh god that's funny and horrible at the same time.
 
2010-11-04 02:23:55 PM
RE territ
"Ladies, don't use douches, soaps, gels, or chemical products in general. Just fracking WASH. At the risk of making a bunch of farkers fap to my visuals, the best way to keep your vag healthy and not smelly is to run a hot bath or shower, and open the folds, nooks and crannys with your fingers and just wash off the outside bits. You should also gently scrape a finger nail along the inner lips to get out the bits of moisture, toilet paper and panty fuzz that tends to accumulate there. The anus and taint should get the same treatment. On date nights, stick a finger in there, and clean out the entrance, too. Just plain old water and friction does the trick. But it requires daily maintenance."

I don't suppose you publish a newsletter, with photos or helpful illustrations?
 
2010-11-04 02:25:19 PM
8.5 tailed fox: I love it when women complain about getting a tablespoon of semen in their mouth, when we guys have to lick up gallons of clam juice in the course of doing our duties.



media.rockstargames.com
 
2010-11-04 02:29:58 PM
theoriginalslash: RE territ
"Ladies, don't use douches, soaps, gels, or chemical products in general. Just fracking WASH. At the risk of making a bunch of farkers fap to my visuals, the best way to keep your vag healthy and not smelly is to run a hot bath or shower, and open the folds, nooks and crannys with your fingers and just wash off the outside bits. You should also gently scrape a finger nail along the inner lips to get out the bits of moisture, toilet paper and panty fuzz that tends to accumulate there. The anus and taint should get the same treatment. On date nights, stick a finger in there, and clean out the entrance, too. Just plain old water and friction does the trick. But it requires daily maintenance."

I don't suppose you publish a newsletter, with photos or helpful illustrations?


No such luck, sorry!
 
2010-11-04 02:47:32 PM
territ:Maybe I'm a bit of a hygiene freak, but my vag smells awesome. I should get an award.

t2.gstatic.com

And the Hillary goes to...

/hot like... oh never mind
 
2010-11-04 02:52:16 PM
Candygram4Mongo: territ:Maybe I'm a bit of a hygiene freak, but my vag smells awesome. I should get an award.

[Hillary Bowl Cleaner.jpg]

And the Hillary goes to...

/hot like... oh never mind


Awesome. I shall display it on my mantle.
 
2010-11-04 02:53:18 PM
territ: but my vag smells awesome

A sadly common delusion among some women, closely related to people who smell their own farts.
 
2010-11-04 02:54:22 PM
Mykeru: territ: but my vag smells awesome

A sadly common delusion among some women, closely related to people who smell their own farts.


No way, dude. I have references!
 
2010-11-04 02:55:20 PM
wow... I think I need a shower after reading that article.
 
2010-11-04 03:00:39 PM
I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread
 
2010-11-04 03:00:46 PM
territ: Mykeru: territ: but my vag smells awesome

A sadly common delusion among some women, closely related to people who smell their own farts.

No way, dude. I have references!


So do Nigerian royalty in exile with millions for you in exchange for a small fee paid upfront.
 
2010-11-04 03:02:22 PM
just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

You mean the rabid hate for women wasn't obvious?
 
2010-11-04 03:06:04 PM
just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

Nah, it's just Fark's resident troll clique. They sometimes follow people like those little birds who trail herds to pick through any old crap dropped for snacks.

Happily, like birds, they are congenitally toothless.
 
2010-11-04 03:06:40 PM
Aisling McStabby: just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

You mean the rabid hate for women wasn't obvious?


Can't we all just get along? Come on, group hug!
 
2010-11-04 03:09:36 PM
just passing through: Aisling McStabby: just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

You mean the rabid hate for women wasn't obvious?

Can't we all just get along? Come on, group hug!


You sound suspiciously like a hippie. NTTAWWT
 
2010-11-04 03:11:12 PM
Aisling McStabby: just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

You mean the rabid hate for women wasn't obvious?


I fully confess to having made some remarks in questionable taste in a thread about smelly vaginas. I apologize profusely for not taking this thread about "horrible vaginal odor" as a platform for constructive discussion about topics in gynecology.

Please accept my apology.
 
2010-11-04 03:11:19 PM
just passing through: Aisling McStabby: just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

You mean the rabid hate for women wasn't obvious?

Can't we all just get along? Come on, group hug!


Ach, nae group hug! Smells like a seafood buffet in here!
 
2010-11-04 03:19:55 PM
She didn't think her cunning plan all the way through.

/first? really?
 
2010-11-04 03:20:55 PM
Veteran of the Cola Wars: just passing through: Aisling McStabby: just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

You mean the rabid hate for women wasn't obvious?

Can't we all just get along? Come on, group hug!

Ach, nae group hug! Smells like a seafood buffet in here!


Which raises the age-old dilemma:

www.buythecase.net or www.cajungrocer.com
 
2010-11-04 03:23:39 PM
Let the fools have their tar-tar sauce!
 
2010-11-04 03:25:11 PM
i.cdn.turner.com

Link (new window)
 
2010-11-04 03:27:46 PM
Well, this was a ridiculously funny, epically poor taste thread.

That is, until the trolls made their appearance and turned this into a forum for their old grievances.

You win. Excellent hijack. The threads all yours.
 
2010-11-04 03:30:50 PM
Mykeru: Well, this was a ridiculously funny, epically poor taste thread.

That is, until the trolls made their appearance and turned this into a forum for their old grievances.

You win. Excellent hijack. The threads all yours.


Says the delusional moron who has my picture in his very Boobies. I really hope it is physically painful to be that stupid.
 
2010-11-04 03:32:33 PM
Ha. I said boobies.
 
2010-11-04 03:32:53 PM
Mykeru: Veteran of the Cola Wars: just passing through: Aisling McStabby: just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

You mean the rabid hate for women wasn't obvious?

Can't we all just get along? Come on, group hug!

Ach, nae group hug! Smells like a seafood buffet in here!

Which raises the age-old dilemma:

or


Tartar sauce is frammin' disgusting. I much prefer malt vinegar on my fish and chips. Or maybe a squeezing of lime.

Malt vinegar on onion rings too... Or fried chicken fingers.

I dunno about malt vinegar on punani though.
 
2010-11-04 03:37:53 PM
Now ya'll just sop it! I WILL PULL THIS THREAD OVER AND MAKE YOU WALK!!

This *points upwards* is why we can't have fun things. Like stinky poonanny threads. *scowls*
 
2010-11-04 03:38:35 PM
Veteran of the Cola Wars: Could you imagine if Spinal Tap did a song about vaginal funk?


It would be the B-side of Big Bottoms. Awesome idea.
 
2010-11-04 03:39:25 PM
Mykeru: Aisling McStabby: Says the delusional moron who has my picture in his very Boobies

Heh...Boobies.

Which picture?



Oh, yeah: That one.


See? You're a moron, and you simply project your faults onto others. Glad we could clear that up.
 
2010-11-04 03:41:36 PM
airsupport: Veteran of the Cola Wars: Could you imagine if Spinal Tap did a song about vaginal funk?


It would be the B-side of Big Bottoms. Awesome idea.


Stink finger
Stink finger
Talk about coont cheese
My baby's Limburger lingers.
 
2010-11-04 03:52:06 PM
Mykeru:

Either thread-killing gives you and Aisling some satisfaction or, more likely, it's all you know how to do.


Well then maybe you shouldn't have posted a picture of me to get my attention, aye you blubbering dolt?
 
2010-11-04 03:53:08 PM
airsupport: Veteran of the Cola Wars: Could you imagine if Spinal Tap did a song about vaginal funk?


It would be the B-side of Big Bottoms. Awesome idea.


Actually, wouldn't it be awesome if "Vaginal Funk" was an entire genre? If you thought parents go bat-poo over Rap and Acid House, imagine when their kids are into "Vaginal Funk".
 
2010-11-04 03:53:47 PM
Mykeru: Aisling McStabby: See? You're a moron, and you simply project your faults onto others. Glad we could clear that up.

*Sigh*

Go to hell. I'm totally sick of your crap.


TRANSLATION: "You're totally right and called me on my bullshiat, but i'm not adult enough to admit i'm wrong."


/glad we could clear that up.
 
2010-11-04 03:54:59 PM
farm3.static.flickr.com

One for each of you. And you know who I mean.
 
2010-11-04 03:58:46 PM
Bleh. I tried to make the thread funny again but I find my handle being dragged into the mud through association. Bother.

Stop that! This is why we can't have nice things!

She don't use lutefisk, she don't use cheese, she doesn't use, any of these...

She uses VAAAAAAAAAAGISIL.

/I wonder if her lips were flaming?
 
2010-11-04 04:06:04 PM
Veteran of the Cola Wars: Bleh. I tried to make the thread funny again but I find my handle being dragged into the mud through association. Bother.

Stop that! This is why we can't have nice things!

She don't use lutefisk, she don't use cheese, she doesn't use, any of these...

She uses VAAAAAAAAAAGISIL.

/I wonder if her lips were flaming?


Is that like Brylcreem?
 
2010-11-04 04:06:45 PM
Mykeru: Aisling McStabby: just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

You mean the rabid hate for women wasn't obvious?

I fully confess to having made some remarks in questionable taste in a thread about smelly vaginas. I apologize profusely for not taking this thread about "horrible vaginal odor" as a platform for constructive discussion about topics in gynecology.

Please accept my apology.


Like.
 
2010-11-04 04:22:18 PM
OK, why did a smelly vag thread turn into a bizzaro pissing contest? Let it die like the lady in the article's crotch already, guys. WTF.
 
2010-11-04 04:34:36 PM
Wot, no Sprunt refs?
 
2010-11-04 04:36:07 PM
Aisling McStabby: territ: OK, why did a smelly vag thread turn into a bizzaro pissing contest? Let it die like the lady in the article's crotch already, guys. WTF.

Because of Mykeru, obviously.


WILL WHITE
KNIGHT 4 BIE
\o/
|
/\
 
2010-11-04 04:37:51 PM
66dude: This thread was amusing at first, but now it's just sad. I hate Fark sometimes.

Exactly right. Here I gave some solid advice for keeping your vagina so clean that your lover can eat off it, and the train derailed into Lamesville.

Thanks, guys.

i287.photobucket.com
 
2010-11-04 04:43:44 PM
territ: 66dude: This thread was amusing at first, but now it's just sad. I hate Fark sometimes.

Exactly right. Here I gave some solid advice for keeping your vagina so clean that your lover can eat off it, and the train derailed into Lamesville.

Thanks, guys.


Yeah, thanks assholes. There are so few good vag odour threads around here, and you gotta mess this one up.
 
2010-11-04 04:45:33 PM
Good job, everyone involved in taking this fun thread completely down the toilet.
 
2010-11-04 04:47:07 PM
Vag thread = the new poop thread.

66dude, interseting handle. Is it like you do me and I'll owe you 3?
 
2010-11-04 04:47:37 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com

Complete douchebaggery ruining my blue waffle thread? It's more likely than I thought.
 
2010-11-04 04:51:48 PM
territ: Mykeru: territ: but my vag smells awesome

A sadly common delusion among some women, closely related to people who smell their own farts.

No way, dude. I have references!


A woman broke up with me in college because the first time I went down on her, she asked me "smells good, doesn't it?"

To be honest, it smelled great. But even the best smelling ladybit still smells like ladybit, so I said "smells sexy!" - because I associated the smell with sex. I wasn't even thinking about it.

She frowned, looked at me, and asked "That's good, right? Smells good?"

I was a little drunk, so instead of just saying "yeah, smells good" I blurted out "Joanne, we aren't talking about a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies, here."

I learned how to keep my mouth shut and/or occupied after THAT experience.
 
2010-11-04 04:54:07 PM
Is this the Drew half-assed apology thread?

Ooops never mind carry on...strange I really thought it was too for some reason.
 
2010-11-04 04:57:04 PM
nicotommer: territ: Mykeru: territ: but my vag smells awesome

A sadly common delusion among some women, closely related to people who smell their own farts.

No way, dude. I have references!

A woman broke up with me in college because the first time I went down on her, she asked me "smells good, doesn't it?"

To be honest, it smelled great. But even the best smelling ladybit still smells like ladybit, so I said "smells sexy!" - because I associated the smell with sex. I wasn't even thinking about it.

She frowned, looked at me, and asked "That's good, right? Smells good?"

I was a little drunk, so instead of just saying "yeah, smells good" I blurted out "Joanne, we aren't talking about a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies, here."

I learned how to keep my mouth shut and/or occupied after THAT experience.


I tried to qualify my statements in later posts that there will always be a residual natural body aroma no matter how much you wash.

But frequent cleansing of the area helps prevent the local flora of bacteria from getting out of control, leading to even stinkier situations.
 
2010-11-04 05:00:47 PM
territ:

I tried to qualify my statements in later posts that there will always be a residual natural body aroma no matter how much you wash.

But frequent cleansing of the area helps prevent the local flora of bacteria from getting out of control, leading to even stinkier situations.



I'm pretty amused that you've taken it upon yourself to be the coont warshing authority of this thread. You could probably go work for that group that is getting federal stimulus money to teach African men to wash their dongs. I'm sure they could use some coont cleansing tips there too.
 
2010-11-04 05:04:48 PM
zaier: territ:

I tried to qualify my statements in later posts that there will always be a residual natural body aroma no matter how much you wash.

But frequent cleansing of the area helps prevent the local flora of bacteria from getting out of control, leading to even stinkier situations.


I'm pretty amused that you've taken it upon yourself to be the coont warshing authority of this thread. You could probably go work for that group that is getting federal stimulus money to teach African men to wash their dongs. I'm sure they could use some coont cleansing tips there too.


Yes, and thank you. My advice really only applies to people with ready, wasteful access to water for showering and bathing, though. I imagine more rural areas of the world have bad, permanent cases of stinky vagina. :/
 
2010-11-04 05:27:40 PM
I like to play mad libs with her quotes at the end of the article
 
2010-11-04 05:27:55 PM
3TJF: territ: OK, why did a smelly vag thread turn into a bizzaro pissing contest? Let it die like the lady in the article's crotch already, guys. WTF.

Usually one doesn't see this level of hate outside the politics tab. Sad really, I liked this thread.


It WAS a good thread until the BOTTOM FEEDERS showed up.

Maybe that's why they're here. The thread is about bottom feeding.
 
2010-11-04 05:33:52 PM
WTFDYW: 3TJF: territ: OK, why did a smelly vag thread turn into a bizzaro pissing contest? Let it die like the lady in the article's crotch already, guys. WTF.

Usually one doesn't see this level of hate outside the politics tab. Sad really, I liked this thread.

It WAS a good thread until the BOTTOM FEEDERS showed up.

Maybe that's why they're here. The thread is about bottom feeding.


I LOL'd
 
2010-11-04 05:37:03 PM
LancePGH: WTFDYW: 3TJF: territ: OK, why did a smelly vag thread turn into a bizzaro pissing contest? Let it die like the lady in the article's crotch already, guys. WTF.

Usually one doesn't see this level of hate outside the politics tab. Sad really, I liked this thread.

It WAS a good thread until the BOTTOM FEEDERS showed up.

Maybe that's why they're here. The thread is about bottom feeding.

I LOL'd


Nice
 
2010-11-04 05:41:48 PM
nicotommer: territ: Mykeru: territ: but my vag smells awesome

A sadly common delusion among some women, closely related to people who smell their own farts.

No way, dude. I have references!

A woman broke up with me in college because the first time I went down on her, she asked me "smells good, doesn't it?"

To be honest, it smelled great. But even the best smelling ladybit still smells like ladybit, so I said "smells sexy!" - because I associated the smell with sex. I wasn't even thinking about it.

She frowned, looked at me, and asked "That's good, right? Smells good?"

I was a little drunk, so instead of just saying "yeah, smells good" I blurted out "Joanne, we aren't talking about a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies, here."


Bzzzt wrong answer!

/Right answer: "Joanne, lover, I want to use your underwear to make soup. I want to get high on your pit sweat and suck your toes for dessert. I want the smell of your womanliness to linger on my lips for the better part of eternity."
 
2010-11-04 05:49:48 PM
Tacos for supper anyone?
 
2010-11-04 05:52:57 PM
Not to brag, but my s/o tells me I have what is called "baked potato pussy." Said he learned the term from a lesbian woman he worked with. She said that clean pussy, fresh from the shower, smells just like a hot baked potato (no toppings). I was quite flattered...
 
2010-11-04 05:54:36 PM
WTFDYW: Tacos for supper anyone?

I heart fish tacos
 
2010-11-04 06:16:34 PM
You gotta wash your ass, if you must
You gotta wash your hair, if you must
You gotta brush your teeth, if you must
Or else you'll be funk-ay
 
2010-11-04 06:31:37 PM
Testiculus: I've had the opportunity to decline such an opportunity once upon a time in college for exactly the same reason. Hot looking chick, horrendous hygeine. Couldn't keep the street cats away from my bedroom window for a week, even with a dumpster close by.
/csb NOT


I had a girlfriend who had the same problem when we first started dating. I just couldn't do it. After a couple of weeks of dating I finally put my finger under her nose as I caressed her face. She got the hint. Problem solved.

I think she married the next boyfriend after me on halloween

/stinky story bro
 
2010-11-04 06:37:20 PM
UncleStumpy: Testiculus: I've had the opportunity to decline such an opportunity once upon a time in college for exactly the same reason. Hot looking chick, horrendous hygeine. Couldn't keep the street cats away from my bedroom window for a week, even with a dumpster close by.
/csb NOT

I had a girlfriend who had the same problem when we first started dating. I just couldn't do it. After a couple of weeks of dating I finally put my finger under her nose as I caressed her face. She got the hint. Problem solved.

I think she married the next boyfriend after me on halloween

/stinky story bro


I laughed at this far more than was appropriate. Damn you!
 
2010-11-04 06:49:58 PM
twobux: Stink puss is no laughing matter, people.

Agreed. It literally takes weeks for it to mostly air out of your apartment.
 
2010-11-04 07:11:06 PM
Ramona A Stone: 1. This thread is full of win.
2. This thread has put me off sex (and genitalia in any context) forever.


Those two statements are mutually exclusive.
 
2010-11-04 07:19:52 PM
OK, so I think I got it to where Fark will stop emailing my phone whenever somebody posts in this thread.
Boy howdy is that some annoying shiat.
 
2010-11-04 07:22:20 PM
wow just wow
 
2010-11-04 07:23:49 PM
it all sounds so familiar, 40rs or so ago. there was puss beyond heaven, and where all wasn't right. but i never was with someone i didn't care for. so, i gave each one a good licking regardless. tactully mention things later
 
2010-11-04 07:30:45 PM
BLUUUUUUUUE POOOOOOOOON I saw you standing alone...
You had flies 'round your twat
With out a love of your own
BLUUUUUUE POOOON
You did not know what soap and water was there for
You heard me saying a prayer for
A gynecologist who could care for
BLUUUUUUE POOOOON!

**Bows**
 
2010-11-04 07:33:27 PM
How many farkers, after seeing, "horrible vaginal odor", couldn't resist going there and clicked the link?
 
2010-11-04 07:49:14 PM
territ: Mykeru: territ: but my vag smells awesome

A sadly common delusion among some women, closely related to people who smell their own farts.

No way, dude. I have references!


Enough about your coont, already. I'll give you a gold medal for sweetest smelling (in your opinion) vag if you just would STFU. Your profile photo is nothing to brag about, so I'll give you a pass on the AW on here for now.
 
2010-11-04 07:51:40 PM
these last 3 pages are pathetic
 
2010-11-04 08:18:22 PM
territ: OK, why did a smelly vag thread turn into a bizzaro pissing contest? Let it die like the lady in the article's crotch already, guys. WTF.

Having never used ignore lists, before, I appreciate this opportunity to try them out and see how impressive they are at avoiding comments that I have no interest in reading.

I look forward to having ignore lists become an integral part of my fark experience from now on. But yes, I agree with you, territ. Certain individuals whose posts no longer show up in my view of this thread should well and truly put a sock in it already...
 
2010-11-04 08:41:03 PM
TelJanin: Mykeru: TelJanin: Wow, dude, just... really... WOW. You seriously need help. There's some misogyny, some compensation issues, and a whole lot of impotent rage going on in your head. Seriously, we get it, you don't like her. She made fun of your obese wife that had cancer, and now you've gone insane trying to prove that it's her, not you, and packs the crazy.

Please, SFTU or GTFO.

My wife was quite the heifer for a 5'3", 97 lb woman. I guess for all your complaining you are one of the "your wife was fat" people. Go ahead, be a dumbass. I can't stop you and no one can fix it. Enjoy.

However, you are correct about the misogyny. However, I'm confused by you using the word like it's a bad thing. Please don't disparage my lifestyle choice. And you are right, I can only compensate so much although, I've got to admit, being able to masturbate using Cheerios is pretty cost-effective. You're just jealous.

Please respond with something even dumber than your original post. I have high hopes. When people tell you you've reached the heights of being a dumbass, that you can't possibly top yourself with breathless stupid, don't believe them. You can do it. I have faith in you.

Don't let me down.

Honey Nut, or Original? Mabye add it to your Amazon Wishlist, I'll pitch in for a delivered box.

Cheers, nothing more here to see.


I'm thinking Banana Nut.
 
2010-11-04 09:03:52 PM
UncleStumpy: I'm thinking Banana Nut.

You win one YouTube
 
2010-11-04 09:55:16 PM
The (+new) thing on my posting stats keeps saying things like (+3), and then when I click on it, there's only one new message available to read. Behold, the power of the ignore list!
 
2010-11-05 12:44:33 AM
because of this thread, I learned what a Blue Waffel was/is, and I thought OMG! But then I say a link that said if you liked Blue Waffel, then you have to see Giante Cheese Taco -- click -- wow, I mean OMFG Wow... that makes the Blue Waffel look down right nice. Don't believe me? OK then, Click the Link (I guess this is a NSFW new window)

/if anyone needs me, I'll be in therapy
 
2010-11-05 12:59:53 AM
Brick-House: because of this thread, I learned what a Blue Waffel was/is, and I thought OMG! But then I say a link that said if you liked Blue Waffel, then you have to see Giante Cheese Taco -- click -- wow, I mean OMFG Wow... that makes the Blue Waffel look down right nice. Don't believe me? OK then, Click the Link (I guess this is a NSFW new window)

/if anyone needs me, I'll be in therapy


I hope that was photoshopped by some sick, sick indivudiual. What's a blue waffel? If it's anything liket he Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity, I'll take a double order.
 
2010-11-05 01:04:34 AM
One day, God went to find Adam and Eve in the garden, but found that Adam was sitting by himself. "Where's Eve?" He asked.

"Well," said Adam, "She started to bleed. This happens every month or so."

"So where is she?" asked God.

"Well, she went down to the river to wash up." replied Adam.

"Damn," said God, "Now I'll never get the smell out of the fish."
 
2010-11-05 01:11:48 AM
airsupport: Mykeru: airsupport: Veteran of the Cola Wars: Could you imagine if Spinal Tap did a song about vaginal funk?


It would be the B-side of Big Bottoms. Awesome idea.

Actually, wouldn't it be awesome if "Vaginal Funk" was an entire genre? If you thought parents go bat-poo over Rap and Acid House, imagine when their kids are into "Vaginal Funk".

You forgot to hate women in your post. WTF, dude.


i3.photobucket.com
 
2010-11-05 02:09:11 AM
A couple observations. There are a variety of possible bad vaginal odors. Yes there is the fishy one, but there is also one that is like the smell of death, there is one that is sickeningly sweet, there is one that is doughy/fungusy, and there is one that is like bad body odor.

I've also found (I know this will be controversial but could make this thread epic) that there seems to be a correlation between race and vaginal odor. I've never met an Oriental girl with any sort of discernible odor (bad or otherwise). White girls vary a lot. Black and Indian girls can be pretty musky.
 
2010-11-05 02:42:30 AM
No Such User: Radioactive Ass: I had an ex-girlfriend once that had this problem. I mentioned it. She did not react well at all to the news that her coont smelled like a pier at the end of a long day of fishing in 100 degree weather. The relationship didn't end on a happy note...

What a flash back.

I told a girl once hers smelled like the dead shrimp at the bottom of a bucket after a long hot day of fishing.



I've never been happier to be gay for guys.
 
2010-11-05 07:38:24 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvoT0ZicwZY&feature=fvst

Feminine Hygiene Song (Language NSFW)

/was really looking for the Michael Jordan SNL Parody Commercial
//oh well this will have to do
 
2010-11-05 07:45:41 AM
Brick-House: because of this thread, I learned what a Blue Waffel was/is, and I thought OMG! But then I say a link that said if you liked Blue Waffel, then you have to see Giante Cheese Taco -- click -- wow, I mean OMFG Wow... that makes the Blue Waffel look down right nice. Don't believe me? OK then, Click the Link (I guess this is a NSFW new window)

/if anyone needs me, I'll be in therapy


I just had to click on the link. Oh mommy... hold me!
 
2010-11-05 09:26:28 AM
NorCalLos: Brick-House: because of this thread, I learned what a Blue Waffel was/is, and I thought OMG! But then I say a link that said if you liked Blue Waffel, then you have to see Giante Cheese Taco -- click -- wow, I mean OMFG Wow... that makes the Blue Waffel look down right nice. Don't believe me? OK then, Click the Link (I guess this is a NSFW new window)

/if anyone needs me, I'll be in therapy

I hope that was photoshopped by some sick, sick indivudiual. What's a blue waffel? If it's anything liket he Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity, I'll take a double order.


you're just have to GIS Blue Waffle like I did, there you will find some normal picts and one not so normal VaJayJay.

66dude: I just had to click on the link. Oh mommy... hold me!

as for you 66Dude, see ya in therapy.
 
2010-11-05 09:52:33 AM
Brick-House: because of this thread, I learned what a Blue Waffel was/is, and I thought OMG! But then I say a link that said if you liked Blue Waffel, then you have to see Giante Cheese Taco -- click -- wow, I mean OMFG Wow... that makes the Blue Waffel look down right nice. Don't believe me? OK then, Click the Link (I guess this is a NSFW new window)

/if anyone needs me, I'll be in therapy


Well, that was interesting. What's the story behind that? I'd like to learn more so I can teach my daughters what will happen if they sleep with boys before they move out of my house. ;o)
 
2010-11-05 10:05:20 AM
jabelar: A couple observations. There are a variety of possible bad vaginal odors. Yes there is the fishy one, but there is also one that is like the smell of death, there is one that is sickeningly sweet, there is one that is doughy/fungusy, and there is one that is like bad body odor.

I've also found (I know this will be controversial but could make this thread epic) that there seems to be a correlation between race and vaginal odor. I've never met an Oriental girl with any sort of discernible odor (bad or otherwise). White girls vary a lot. Black and Indian girls can be pretty musky.


You sound like a total pussy hound. NTTAWWT.
 
2010-11-05 10:07:09 AM
jabelar: A couple observations. There are a variety of possible bad vaginal odors. Yes there is the fishy one, but there is also one that is like the smell of death, there is one that is sickeningly sweet, there is one that is doughy/fungusy, and there is one that is like bad body odor.

I've also found (I know this will be controversial but could make this thread epic) that there seems to be a correlation between race and vaginal odor. I've never met an Oriental girl with any sort of discernible odor (bad or otherwise). White girls vary a lot. Black and Indian girls can be pretty musky.


I think this has a LOT to do with diet. In all seriousness. If you eat a lot of rice and bok choi, the body doesn't excrete the same kinds of sweat and smells as it would when you eat a farkton of junkfood, or very pungent spices (like curry) all the time.
 
2010-11-05 12:44:14 PM
 
2010-11-05 02:27:09 PM
Story removed.
 
2010-11-05 02:50:30 PM
illannoyin: Story removed.

Well that stinks
 
2010-11-05 05:25:03 PM
Late to the party... wish I'd had time to 'shop a shot from the new hit series, CSI:HVO
 
2010-11-05 09:17:49 PM
illannoyin:

Story removed.


It's over here on The Smoking gun: Woman Utters Line Never Previously Recorded In A Police Report (new window)
 
2010-11-05 10:09:40 PM
adeist69: illannoyin:

Story removed.


It's over here on The Smoking gun: Woman Utters Line Never Previously Recorded In A Police Report (new window)


Ah see: The internet routes around censorship. Almost as efficiently as Adam Watson dodges a stinkin' coont hole.
 
2010-11-05 11:26:44 PM
territ:
After just a regular day of working, walking, sweating, urinating, and pooing, that area gets grimey.


Go on...
 
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