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(Some Guy)   How often can you read the phrase "horrible vaginal odor" in the newspaper? Not often, but here we are   (jacksonnewspapers.com) divider line 316
    More: Sick, sexual acts, yellow pages, Danny, domestic violences, Deputy R. Mellinger, knife  
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31908 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Nov 2010 at 5:59 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-11-04 01:21:37 PM
7473r4: territ: I think a lot of chicks have hangups about really touching themselves, even just to bathe and get clean. I like to think people are getting generally cooler about this crap, but religion and ignorance still prevails too often..

Ladies, don't use douches, soaps, gels, or chemical products in general. Just fracking WASH. At the risk of making a bunch of farkers fap to my visuals, the best way to keep your vag healthy and not smelly is to run a hot bath or shower, and open the folds, nooks and crannys with your fingers and just wash off the outside bits. You should also gently scrape a finger nail along the inner lips to get out the bits of moisture, toilet paper and panty fuzz that tends to accumulate there. The anus and taint should get the same treatment.

On date nights, stick a finger in there, and clean out the entrance, too. Just plain old water and friction does the trick. But it requires daily maintenance.

/Trust me, I'm an expert
//my man specifically told me that my feminine hygiene is impeccable
///a healthy diet also improves your entire body odor!
////fap!

BEEZ nobody needs to be using daily maintenance on their cooch. How many cooches are you licking? You only know about yours. Speak for your own brainwashed self. A couple baths a week and you're good. Another thing: considering you're free of DISEASE and all a man should like your smell. If he doesn't, dump his lame ass. All these hygenic standards come from the fact that a lot of men are terrified of pussy. Terrified. They're scared little boys.


It's a mucus membrane. Just like the mouth needs care to stay fresh, so does the vagina. I accept women have different standards for their own personal hygiene, that's fine. But I clean myself with just plain old water daily and my lover is very thankful for it. If you've found a man who enjoys crotch funk (and there most certainly is funk there if you're only washing it twice a week, ick!), then more power to you both.

After just a regular day of working, walking, sweating, urinating, and pooing, that area gets grimey. I wouldn't subject my man to a smelly undercarriage, and I really enjoy oral sex, so everything gets a quick daily wash. It takes all of 5 minutes.

And the same goes for you fellas. As long as my man gives himself a cursory wash regularly, the BJs are far more frequent. It's just a courtsey thing for the one who is down there on his or her knees for you.
 
2010-11-04 01:23:11 PM
7473r4: The smell recurs almost immediately after you wash. Assholes.

Well there's your problem. You're washing in the wrong place.
 
2010-11-04 01:25:17 PM
7473r4: The last time my cooch smelled terrible I had an infection called BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. You could smell it from clear across the room. It was a nightmare to get rid of, took 6 months to go away. It smelled like a mixture of sulfur and fish. If this is the smell you're talking about, it is likely an overgrowth of Gardnerella aka BV aka BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. It is very hard to get rid of and can last for years in some women. It has to do with immune system function and healthy eating habits. Personally I am very sorry for the women who have it long term. Don't pick on them, it's a sorry state to be in and usually has nothing to do with HYGIENE since the smell recurs almost immediately after you wash. Assholes.


Where have YOU been all my life, doll?????????????????

Hit me on the cellie, baby girl. You.........know how to hit me on the cellie, don't you? You just.......put your lips together, and.......hit me on the cellie.
 
2010-11-04 01:26:15 PM
Can't believe I'm the first, C+P:

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=12094
 
2010-11-04 01:26:54 PM
7473r4: The last time my cooch smelled terrible I had an infection called BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. You could smell it from clear across the room. It was a nightmare to get rid of, took 6 months to go away. It smelled like a mixture of sulfur and fish. If this is the smell you're talking about, it is likely an overgrowth of Gardnerella aka BV aka BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. It is very hard to get rid of and can last for years in some women. It has to do with immune system function and healthy eating habits. Personally I am very sorry for the women who have it long term. Don't pick on them, it's a sorry state to be in and usually has nothing to do with HYGIENE since the smell recurs almost immediately after you wash. Assholes.

Golly, that sounds almost as bad as THE GUM DISEASE GINGIVITIS...
 
2010-11-04 01:27:48 PM
territ: After just a regular day of working, walking, sweating, urinating, and pooing, that area gets grimey.


Where have YOU been all my life, doll?????????????????

Hit me on the cellie, baby girl. You.........know how to hit me on the cellie, don't you? You just.......put your lips together, and.......hit me on the cellie.
 
2010-11-04 01:31:48 PM
i1231.photobucket.com

FTFY
 
2010-11-04 01:33:05 PM
7473r4:BEEZ nobody needs to be using daily maintenance on their cooch. How many cooches are you licking? You only know about yours. Speak for your own brainwashed self. A couple baths a week and you're good. Another thing: considering you're free of DISEASE and all a man should like your smell. If he doesn't, dump his lame ass. All these hygenic standards come from the fact that a lot of men are terrified of pussy. Terrified. They're scared little boys.

I agree with this. BUT even with daily washing, you still have your natural personal body aroma. In fact I'd say daily washing helps to accentuate your personal smell. You can't ever fully get rid of it, not that you'd want to. Sense of smell is very powerful and can greatly intensify sexuality. And it can also make it a horrid experience if you're funky (see linked article). I'm not talking about nuking your crotch from orbit... just washing off the outer bits before you get naked with someone.

But the fact remains that after a normal day of basic bodily functions, your crotch gets grimy. I'd give it a pass if there was going to be no oral involved, but I, for one, greatly appreciate a lover who bothers to wash of residual grime that builds up after a day of just wearing pants. I live in a very hot climate, so maybe that's what drives me. Sweaty crotch is icky.

But your mileage, of course, obviously varies. Maybe I'm a bit of a hygiene freak, but my vag smells awesome. I should get an award.
 
2010-11-04 01:33:36 PM
7473r4: BEEZ nobody needs to be using daily maintenance on their cooch. How many cooches are you licking? You only know about yours. Speak for your own brainwashed self. A couple baths a week and you're good. Another thing: considering you're free of DISEASE and all a man should like your smell. If he doesn't, dump his lame ass. All these hygenic standards come from the fact that a lot of men are terrified of pussy. Terrified. They're scared little boys.

Best of both worlds: Obnoxious AND filthy. You could probably make a killing at your local Motel 6.
 
2010-11-04 01:41:10 PM
7473r4: The last time my cooch smelled terrible I had an infection called BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. You could smell it from clear across the room. It was a nightmare to get rid of, took 6 months to go away. It smelled like a mixture of sulfur and fish. If this is the smell you're talking about, it is likely an overgrowth of Gardnerella aka BV aka BACTERIAL VAGINOSIS. It is very hard to get rid of and can last for years in some women. It has to do with immune system function and healthy eating habits. Personally I am very sorry for the women who have it long term. Don't pick on them, it's a sorry state to be in and usually has nothing to do with HYGIENE since the smell recurs almost immediately after you wash. Assholes.

washing the assholes doesn't seem like the right approach. very close though. just an inch or two off.
 
2010-11-04 01:55:35 PM
7473r4: territ: I think a lot of chicks have hangups about really touching themselves, even just to bathe and get clean. I like to think people are getting generally cooler about this crap, but religion and ignorance still prevails too often..

Ladies, don't use douches, soaps, gels, or chemical products in general. Just fracking WASH. At the risk of making a bunch of farkers fap to my visuals, the best way to keep your vag healthy and not smelly is to run a hot bath or shower, and open the folds, nooks and crannys with your fingers and just wash off the outside bits. You should also gently scrape a finger nail along the inner lips to get out the bits of moisture, toilet paper and panty fuzz that tends to accumulate there. The anus and taint should get the same treatment.

On date nights, stick a finger in there, and clean out the entrance, too. Just plain old water and friction does the trick. But it requires daily maintenance.

/Trust me, I'm an expert
//my man specifically told me that my feminine hygiene is impeccable
///a healthy diet also improves your entire body odor!
////fap!

BEEZ nobody needs to be using daily maintenance on their cooch. How many cooches are you licking? You only know about yours. Speak for your own brainwashed self. A couple baths a week and you're good. Another thing: considering you're free of DISEASE and all a man should like your smell. If he doesn't, dump his lame ass. All these hygenic standards come from the fact that a lot of men are terrified of pussy. Terrified. They're scared little boys.


someone is angry at the penis
 
2010-11-04 01:57:18 PM
7473r4:
Aren't you a clever one?



Glad you enjoyed it. It gave me a mild chuckle as well.
 
2010-11-04 01:57:37 PM
7473r4: BEEZ nobody needs to be using daily maintenance on their cooch. How many cooches are you licking? You only know about yours. Speak for your own brainwashed self. A couple baths a week and you're good. Another thing: considering you're free of DISEASE and all a man should like your smell. If he doesn't, dump his lame ass. All these hygenic standards come from the fact that a lot of men are terrified of pussy. Terrified. They're scared little boys.


So because I love my cats, I shouldn't mind that their breath smells like roadkill? fark that noise. Wash yourself before you wreck yourself.
 
2010-11-04 01:58:08 PM
I love it when women complain about getting a tablespoon of semen in their mouth, when we guys have to lick up gallons of clam juice in the course of doing our duties.
 
2010-11-04 02:05:16 PM
steerforth

That kitty's expression is just priceless!
 
2010-11-04 02:08:08 PM
As I read this thread, I can practically hear the Bloodhound Gang's "Kiss me where it smells funny" playing.

/Came twice last year like a Sears catalogue
 
2010-11-04 02:09:10 PM
The Malingerer: FTFY

Can't breathe, laughing too hard...
 
2010-11-04 02:09:43 PM
Thoroughly With Foil: There's something awfully fishy about this story...

If it smells like cologne, leave it alone.....
 
2010-11-04 02:13:05 PM
TelJanin: Mykeru: TelJanin: Wow, dude, just... really... WOW. You seriously need help. There's some misogyny, some compensation issues, and a whole lot of impotent rage going on in your head. Seriously, we get it, you don't like her. She made fun of your obese wife that had cancer, and now you've gone insane trying to prove that it's her, not you, and packs the crazy.

Please, SFTU or GTFO.

My wife was quite the heifer for a 5'3", 97 lb woman. I guess for all your complaining you are one of the "your wife was fat" people. Go ahead, be a dumbass. I can't stop you and no one can fix it. Enjoy.

However, you are correct about the misogyny. However, I'm confused by you using the word like it's a bad thing. Please don't disparage my lifestyle choice. And you are right, I can only compensate so much although, I've got to admit, being able to masturbate using Cheerios is pretty cost-effective. You're just jealous.

Please respond with something even dumber than your original post. I have high hopes. When people tell you you've reached the heights of being a dumbass, that you can't possibly top yourself with breathless stupid, don't believe them. You can do it. I have faith in you.

Don't let me down.

Honey Nut, or Original? Mabye add it to your Amazon Wishlist, I'll pitch in for a delivered box.

Cheers, nothing more here to see.


Amazon wishlist? What are you talking abo--

Oh, nevermind:

i181.photobucket.com
 
2010-11-04 02:13:51 PM
rickythepenguin:i love this story so very much.

and where's johnny cochran when you need him? "If her coonch smelled filthy, my client is not guilty!" "Her snapper smelled like shiat, so the jury must acquit!" "It smelled like fermented pee, so my client must walk free!" "she didn't wash with Dial, I request a mistrial!"


"If she could only get head with a knife, free the husband and haul in the wife!"
"If her coont smelled so much like a pisser, then the guilty one must be Melissa!"
 
2010-11-04 02:15:41 PM
7473r4: BEEZ nobody needs to be using daily maintenance on their cooch. How many cooches are you licking? You only know about yours. Speak for your own brainwashed self. A couple baths a week and you're good. Another thing: considering you're free of DISEASE and all a man should like your smell. If he doesn't, dump his lame ass. All these hygenic standards come from the fact that a lot of men are terrified of pussy. Terrified. They're scared little boys.

Agreed, hell I'll even eat it out after dumping my baby batter in the split bowl wound
 
2010-11-04 02:15:44 PM
Sum Dum Gai: KWPLunchbox: I love my woman and she has excellent hygiene but unfortunately due to medication its like something died inside her. So bj's without having to reciprocate!

I'm not sure Plan B counts as "medication".


Win! Very much win!
 
2010-11-04 02:16:55 PM
What about a vaginal "o" door?
 
2010-11-04 02:19:24 PM
cryinoutloud: Pic of the woman, from the thread that's about to disappear.

You would. I know you would. Rawr, cougar!!


You, sirrah, are a trooper...I salute you.

/You poor bastard.
//*looking for guy with "Not sure if serious" pic*
 
2010-11-04 02:22:51 PM
The Malingerer: FTFY

I cringed. Oh god that's funny and horrible at the same time.
 
2010-11-04 02:23:55 PM
RE territ
"Ladies, don't use douches, soaps, gels, or chemical products in general. Just fracking WASH. At the risk of making a bunch of farkers fap to my visuals, the best way to keep your vag healthy and not smelly is to run a hot bath or shower, and open the folds, nooks and crannys with your fingers and just wash off the outside bits. You should also gently scrape a finger nail along the inner lips to get out the bits of moisture, toilet paper and panty fuzz that tends to accumulate there. The anus and taint should get the same treatment. On date nights, stick a finger in there, and clean out the entrance, too. Just plain old water and friction does the trick. But it requires daily maintenance."

I don't suppose you publish a newsletter, with photos or helpful illustrations?
 
2010-11-04 02:25:19 PM
8.5 tailed fox: I love it when women complain about getting a tablespoon of semen in their mouth, when we guys have to lick up gallons of clam juice in the course of doing our duties.



media.rockstargames.com
 
2010-11-04 02:29:58 PM
theoriginalslash: RE territ
"Ladies, don't use douches, soaps, gels, or chemical products in general. Just fracking WASH. At the risk of making a bunch of farkers fap to my visuals, the best way to keep your vag healthy and not smelly is to run a hot bath or shower, and open the folds, nooks and crannys with your fingers and just wash off the outside bits. You should also gently scrape a finger nail along the inner lips to get out the bits of moisture, toilet paper and panty fuzz that tends to accumulate there. The anus and taint should get the same treatment. On date nights, stick a finger in there, and clean out the entrance, too. Just plain old water and friction does the trick. But it requires daily maintenance."

I don't suppose you publish a newsletter, with photos or helpful illustrations?


No such luck, sorry!
 
2010-11-04 02:47:32 PM
territ:Maybe I'm a bit of a hygiene freak, but my vag smells awesome. I should get an award.

t2.gstatic.com

And the Hillary goes to...

/hot like... oh never mind
 
2010-11-04 02:52:16 PM
Candygram4Mongo: territ:Maybe I'm a bit of a hygiene freak, but my vag smells awesome. I should get an award.

[Hillary Bowl Cleaner.jpg]

And the Hillary goes to...

/hot like... oh never mind


Awesome. I shall display it on my mantle.
 
2010-11-04 02:53:18 PM
territ: but my vag smells awesome

A sadly common delusion among some women, closely related to people who smell their own farts.
 
2010-11-04 02:54:22 PM
Mykeru: territ: but my vag smells awesome

A sadly common delusion among some women, closely related to people who smell their own farts.


No way, dude. I have references!
 
2010-11-04 02:55:20 PM
wow... I think I need a shower after reading that article.
 
2010-11-04 03:00:39 PM
I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread
 
2010-11-04 03:00:46 PM
territ: Mykeru: territ: but my vag smells awesome

A sadly common delusion among some women, closely related to people who smell their own farts.

No way, dude. I have references!


So do Nigerian royalty in exile with millions for you in exchange for a small fee paid upfront.
 
2010-11-04 03:02:22 PM
just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

You mean the rabid hate for women wasn't obvious?
 
2010-11-04 03:06:04 PM
just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

Nah, it's just Fark's resident troll clique. They sometimes follow people like those little birds who trail herds to pick through any old crap dropped for snacks.

Happily, like birds, they are congenitally toothless.
 
2010-11-04 03:06:40 PM
Aisling McStabby: just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

You mean the rabid hate for women wasn't obvious?


Can't we all just get along? Come on, group hug!
 
2010-11-04 03:09:36 PM
just passing through: Aisling McStabby: just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

You mean the rabid hate for women wasn't obvious?

Can't we all just get along? Come on, group hug!


You sound suspiciously like a hippie. NTTAWWT
 
2010-11-04 03:11:12 PM
Aisling McStabby: just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

You mean the rabid hate for women wasn't obvious?


I fully confess to having made some remarks in questionable taste in a thread about smelly vaginas. I apologize profusely for not taking this thread about "horrible vaginal odor" as a platform for constructive discussion about topics in gynecology.

Please accept my apology.
 
2010-11-04 03:11:19 PM
just passing through: Aisling McStabby: just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

You mean the rabid hate for women wasn't obvious?

Can't we all just get along? Come on, group hug!


Ach, nae group hug! Smells like a seafood buffet in here!
 
2010-11-04 03:19:55 PM
She didn't think her cunning plan all the way through.

/first? really?
 
2010-11-04 03:20:55 PM
Veteran of the Cola Wars: just passing through: Aisling McStabby: just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

You mean the rabid hate for women wasn't obvious?

Can't we all just get along? Come on, group hug!

Ach, nae group hug! Smells like a seafood buffet in here!


Which raises the age-old dilemma:

www.buythecase.net or www.cajungrocer.com
 
2010-11-04 03:23:39 PM
Let the fools have their tar-tar sauce!
 
2010-11-04 03:25:11 PM
i.cdn.turner.com

Link (new window)
 
2010-11-04 03:27:46 PM
Well, this was a ridiculously funny, epically poor taste thread.

That is, until the trolls made their appearance and turned this into a forum for their old grievances.

You win. Excellent hijack. The threads all yours.
 
2010-11-04 03:30:50 PM
Mykeru: Well, this was a ridiculously funny, epically poor taste thread.

That is, until the trolls made their appearance and turned this into a forum for their old grievances.

You win. Excellent hijack. The threads all yours.


Says the delusional moron who has my picture in his very Boobies. I really hope it is physically painful to be that stupid.
 
2010-11-04 03:32:33 PM
Ha. I said boobies.
 
2010-11-04 03:32:53 PM
Mykeru: Veteran of the Cola Wars: just passing through: Aisling McStabby: just passing through: I'm sensing some ill feelings in this thread

You mean the rabid hate for women wasn't obvious?

Can't we all just get along? Come on, group hug!

Ach, nae group hug! Smells like a seafood buffet in here!

Which raises the age-old dilemma:

or


Tartar sauce is frammin' disgusting. I much prefer malt vinegar on my fish and chips. Or maybe a squeezing of lime.

Malt vinegar on onion rings too... Or fried chicken fingers.

I dunno about malt vinegar on punani though.
 
2010-11-04 03:37:53 PM
Now ya'll just sop it! I WILL PULL THIS THREAD OVER AND MAKE YOU WALK!!

This *points upwards* is why we can't have fun things. Like stinky poonanny threads. *scowls*
 
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