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(Some Guy)   How often can you read the phrase "horrible vaginal odor" in the newspaper? Not often, but here we are   (jacksonnewspapers.com) divider line 316
    More: Sick, sexual acts, yellow pages, Danny, domestic violences, Deputy R. Mellinger, knife  
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31904 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Nov 2010 at 5:59 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-11-04 09:21:56 AM
media.funlol.com
 
2010-11-04 09:22:38 AM
steerforth: That gagging sound they make while they're down there could mean anything.

Curds?
 
2010-11-04 09:24:59 AM
LavenderWolf: Mykeru: steerforth: Mykeru: "The complaint states that as Watson approached Melissa, he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor and declined to precede any further."

Yeah, who hasn't been there? Am I right, guys? Yet, we allow this silent epidemic of assault on us to go on.

And it doesn't even have to be a woman we are in a relationship with. We could be standing on line, or at a meeting. Something is a bit off. You try a discreet sniff and then the full horror of the situation dawns on you depending on the prevailing winds or ventilation. You don't want to make a big thing of it, maybe you try to rationalize that it's her feet, but eventually, you have to stop lying to yourself and face up to the realization that the woman whose proximity we are in has a coont that simply stinks.

And she probably doesn't realize it. Maybe she thinks her fetid Taco of Doom™, like her crap, smells of sunshine and lavender, perhaps she thinks its "natural" or doesn't notice it at all. In fact, many women reading this thread right now might be completely unaware that men have do dodge away from walking directly behind them because she's got one bad clam.

So that's the reason. I thought it was just my foul looks and miserable personality.

Nope. Someone would have to get past the stink to get to know you have a miserable personality and as far as looks, your bad clam is egalitarian, in that even blind people can hate you.

Honestly, I'd discretely tell a woman such a thing. Probably get slapped, but I'd tell her for the same reason I'd tell her about toilet paper sticking out of her pants or something.


Guy walks into an elevator and turns to the woman in there.

"Can I smell your pussy" he asks.

"Certainly not!" she exclaims

"Ah, must be your feet then"

/Joke stolen from fellow Farker.
 
2010-11-04 09:25:48 AM
Mykeru: steerforth: That gagging sound they make while they're down there could mean anything.

Curds?


No, keys. Now they can drive out.
 
2010-11-04 09:30:06 AM
pervvywanker: Too bad the guy didn't have a cold. She probably just wiped the wrong way.

Those words ... they inflict damage.
 
2010-11-04 09:32:12 AM
Thank you for this most wonderful post/thread. Still laughing in the face of the crushing ennui.
 
2010-11-04 09:35:06 AM
pervvywanker Too bad the guy didn't have a cold. She probably just wiped the wrong way.

That sounds even more appetizing... blech.
 
2010-11-04 09:36:54 AM
t2.gstatic.com

Possible Source
 
2010-11-04 09:37:10 AM
steerforth:
Dude, that was her pooper.


i wasn't that young. plus, she was so skinny, everything was pretty well laid out and visible.

/i miss college girls.
 
2010-11-04 09:37:53 AM
steerforth: I'd love to have a beer with you but I have this problem with horrible vaginal odour,

I have a solution:

We get Tibbets out of retirement. You go out to the deserts of New Mexico, strip off, lay back and point your cooch to the sky. Then we let the Enola Gay (NTTATWWT) do the rest:

www.zamandayolculuk.com
 
2010-11-04 09:37:56 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2010-11-04 09:39:17 AM
Mykeru: steerforth: That gagging sound they make while they're down there could mean anything.

Curds?


You need girls 16-22 otherwise the ricotta comes out to thick.
 
2010-11-04 09:39:27 AM
An unwanted sexual advance landed a Ripley woman in jail

Believe it or not
 
2010-11-04 09:39:59 AM
TappingTheVein: Horrible Vaginal Odor is a great name for a band.

They could open for the Cunning Runts
 
2010-11-04 09:42:07 AM
faxman526: TappingTheVein: Horrible Vaginal Odor is a great name for a band.

They could open for the Cunning Runts


Elvis, as usual was way ahead of that curve.

www.sergent.com.au
 
2010-11-04 09:48:50 AM
Vaginal odor is perverse and often baffling.
 
2010-11-04 09:54:09 AM
RojasMachine: Jesus woman wash out that hole and scrub them roast beef flaps!!!

LOL nice.
 
2010-11-04 09:58:30 AM
this thread is full or win. i plan on re-visiting it all day.
 
2010-11-04 09:58:36 AM
Mykeru: steerforth: That gagging sound they make while they're down there could mean anything.

Curds?


www.kraftafh.com.au

+

www.teara.govt.nz

=

www.thebuzzmedia.com
 
2010-11-04 09:59:43 AM
A blind man walks into a fish market and says "Hello ladies!".

/that is all
 
2010-11-04 10:00:03 AM
Danny and Melissa are estranged spouses who live four doors down from each other within the I-77 Motor Inn

The whole article just screams class, doesn't it.

ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com
 
2010-11-04 10:00:50 AM
Women do not smell like fish unless they have a vaginal infection called Gardnerella. So steer clear of the tuna fish salad smell-- it isn't normal.

/that is all.
 
2010-11-04 10:02:34 AM
But did this take place where the lions and christians fight?

/Probably obscure.
 
2010-11-04 10:03:06 AM
jdogga: RojasMachine: Jesus woman wash out that hole and scrub them roast beef flaps!!!

LOL nice.


Sounds simple: Wash that thing.

Here's the problem.

1. What many women think their cooch is:

www.healyourlife2day.com

2. The reality of what it actually is:

www.bbc.co.uk
 
2010-11-04 10:03:10 AM
It's not normal, but it's an overgrowth of a bacteria that everyone is supposed to have in small amounts. So it's not like that have some kind of weird VD that you're going to catch. I mean, they might have that, too. But really they probably need more probiotics.
 
2010-11-04 10:09:48 AM
Headline for an article posted just a little while ago.

/WTF is it with this shiat today?
//Is it Curdsday?

They were accused of using a woman's bacterial infection to rob a Cleveland convenience store
 
2010-11-04 10:09:59 AM
mytdawg: Danny and Melissa are estranged spouses who live four doors down from each other within the I-77 Motor Inn

The whole article just screams reeks of class, doesn't it.


FTFM
 
2010-11-04 10:11:18 AM
Roy Munson Says...

Sometimes you just have to pay the rent (new window)

/pump and dump
 
2010-11-04 10:12:04 AM
Doggiewoggie: Women do not smell like fish unless they have a vaginal infection called Gardnerella. So steer clear of the tuna fish salad smell-- it isn't normal.

/that is all.


Now one of my old bits of graphic art seems strangely appropriate:

i181.photobucket.com
 
2010-11-04 10:13:27 AM
KWPLunchbox: I love my woman and she has excellent hygiene but unfortunately due to medication its like something died inside her. So bj's without having to reciprocate!

/doctor confirmed
//full of win
///thank generic deity for her Hitachi magic wand


The fact that you manage to see this in a positive light and make it sound like you won the lottery makes me think of Voltaire.

Can I call you Candida?
 
2010-11-04 10:13:53 AM
Doggiewoggie: Women do not smell like fish unless they have a vaginal infection called Gardnerella. So steer clear of the tuna fish salad smell-- it isn't normal.

/that is all.


My motto is "If it smells like bass, go for the ass."
 
2010-11-04 10:14:39 AM
Shower much? Honestly, nasty snatch buildup doesn't happen unless you aren't bathing every day.

/Showers twice a day

//just keepin' it clean...
 
2010-11-04 10:17:16 AM
BumpInTheNight
Was her name Pandora?

No. Pandora kept hope in her box.

This woman has "Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here" tattooed on her mons.
 
2010-11-04 10:17:37 AM
brap: KWPLunchbox: I love my woman and she has excellent hygiene but unfortunately due to medication its like something died inside her. So bj's without having to reciprocate!

/doctor confirmed
//full of win
///thank generic deity for her Hitachi magic wand

The fact that you manage to see this in a positive light and make it sound like you won the lottery makes me think of Voltaire.

Can I call you Candida?


AHA! Well played! +1
 
2010-11-04 10:22:10 AM
More Chicken?

i216.photobucket.com
 
2010-11-04 10:22:28 AM
Mykeru: steerforth: I'd love to have a beer with you but I have this problem with horrible vaginal odour,

I have a solution:

We get Tibbets out of retirement. You go out to the deserts of New Mexico, strip off, lay back and point your cooch to the sky. Then we let the Enola Gay (NTTATWWT) do the rest:


I think I'll stick with my odour issues. Radioactive coont cancer is just too much to deal with now that the Republicans have won back control of Congress and all.
 
2010-11-04 10:22:30 AM
This seems like the right place to put this nscsb:
I once got together with an ex because we were both in need of a farkin. She wanted me to go down on her, which was cool until I got close and it smelled like a cross between wet cat food and 3 week old tuna salad. Told her I had a cold sore so I couldn't do it. So she left.

What do you call a fat chick with a yeast infection?
A whopper with cheese.
 
2010-11-04 10:23:07 AM
Djembe: There are three things that smell like fish.

One of them is fish.

/fz


The other two were obviously growing on her......so gross!!!

Myerku, you are one sick puppy......keep it up (lmao)

Ladies!!! There's no excuse for the fishy booty (besides illness). Sleep naked. Don't wear underwear, especially under tight jeans or under panty hose/tights (the only underwear I wear is Victoria's Secret and I wear it only long enough for it to come off). The booty has to breathe! Don't douche, it messes with the good bacteria and farks with your ph, which will cause odor. Eat pineapple, it makes the booty a bit sweeter.

/do you know what you are...........you are what you is.......
/have had 5 hours of sleep, about delirious but feeling good, have been volunteering with the Triangle Flight of Honor, gonna go to sleep now and be back at the airport to prepare for the WWII veterans' return home from visiting the WWII Memorial in DC
 
2010-11-04 10:28:01 AM
trekkiecougar: Ladies!!! There's no excuse for the fishy booty (besides illness). Sleep naked. Don't wear underwear, especially under tight jeans or under panty hose/tights (the only underwear I wear is Victoria's Secret and I wear it only long enough for it to come off). The booty has to breathe! Don't douche, it messes with the good bacteria and farks with your ph, which will cause odor. Eat pineapple, it makes the booty a bit sweeter.

That word you keep using...
 
2010-11-04 10:29:35 AM
sleeper2995: If you really wants some pics google the blue waffle. But be forewarned GROSSNESS AHEAD!

Its my CSB time:

This past spring I got an email from my 11 year old son's Teacher that he got in trouble that day in technology class. He was telling everyone to google Blue Waffle and a young lady got real grossed out. I had no farking clue what it was at the time. My son was told by the young teens that hang at the corner park to look it up and it was the coolest thing ever. My son hadnt looked it up and he had no idea what he was passing on. I tore though the history of every computer in the house and no signs of it anywhere. Then *I* googled it.....
 
2010-11-04 10:31:46 AM
SpinStopper: God, I miss My Name Is Earl ;)

First thing I thought of when I read: "Danny and Melissa are estranged spouses who live four doors down from each other within the I-77 Motor Inn."

Sounds like part of the opening monologue.
 
2010-11-04 10:32:51 AM
True Story

This happened about 15 years ago. I was attending a meeting that discussed several issues including building maintenance. At which time, a women in the meeting asked if the custodial service could be talked to because the womens room smelled of fish.

I sat there stone faced because I knew if I laughed or said anything that was rushing through my mind, I would be in for some sensitivity training. kermit_the_frog: My motto is "If it smells like bass, go for the ass."

Now being a renouned Butt Muncher myself, I'm thinking if the snatch reeks to high heaven, it's not going to get any better on the flip side, so I would just go find a fresher smelling daisy.
 
2010-11-04 10:34:31 AM
farm3.static.flickr.com
 
2010-11-04 10:40:38 AM
i was dating a relatively attractive girl (looked like a young joni mitchell)

Un, Joni Mitchell is one ugly, skeletor woman...
 
2010-11-04 10:41:14 AM
Calehedron: sleeper2995: If you really wants some pics google the blue waffle. But be forewarned GROSSNESS AHEAD!

Its my CSB time:

This past spring I got an email from my 11 year old son's Teacher that he got in trouble that day in technology class. He was telling everyone to google Blue Waffle and a young lady got real grossed out. I had no farking clue what it was at the time. My son was told by the young teens that hang at the corner park to look it up and it was the coolest thing ever. My son hadnt looked it up and he had no idea what he was passing on. I tore though the history of every computer in the house and no signs of it anywhere. Then *I* googled it.....


I hate you both so much now. I could have not looked it up, I could have. But nooooo, curiosity got the best of me. I wonder if sex will ever be normal for me again?
Thanks again, I hope you are happy.
 
2010-11-04 10:44:28 AM
Aside from the legal hypocrisy of the story (definitely a Fark worthy story), what in the hell was this woman's problem? Does Vagisil cost $1000 a tube in West Virginia? I mean, come on. No, it does not douche itself.

Here, here...glad this story included no pictures. No amount of beer is going to cleanse the thought, though. gurgle...heave...this is sooo bad.
 
2010-11-04 10:45:28 AM
crotch-rot
 
2010-11-04 10:47:01 AM
Charge the beeyotch with whatever you would charge a man for the same situation.

The exact same - naked from the waist down, drunk, waving a knife and threatening; but no sexual contact actually occurring.

Oh and put her on the sex offender registry too.
 
2010-11-04 10:47:12 AM
NightOwl2255: trekkiecougar: Ladies!!! There's no excuse for the fishy booty (besides illness). Sleep naked. Don't wear underwear, especially under tight jeans or under panty hose/tights (the only underwear I wear is Victoria's Secret and I wear it only long enough for it to come off). The booty has to breathe! Don't douche, it messes with the good bacteria and farks with your ph, which will cause odor. Eat pineapple, it makes the booty a bit sweeter.

That word you keep using...


I don't think it means what you think it means.
 
2010-11-04 10:52:53 AM
Calehedron: sleeper2995: If you really wants some pics google the blue waffle. But be forewarned GROSSNESS AHEAD!

Its my CSB time:

This past spring I got an email from my 11 year old son's Teacher that he got in trouble that day in technology class. He was telling everyone to google Blue Waffle and a young lady got real grossed out. I had no farking clue what it was at the time. My son was told by the young teens that hang at the corner park to look it up and it was the coolest thing ever. My son hadnt looked it up and he had no idea what he was passing on. I tore though the history of every computer in the house and no signs of it anywhere. Then *I* googled it.....


WHY?! Oh god why?!
 
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