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(Herald Sun)   Bin Laden offers $100,000 bounty on american troops   ( ) divider line 65
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5621 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Oct 2001 at 2:07 PM (14 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2001-10-12 02:10:02 PM  
I thought it was $50,000.
2001-10-12 02:10:54 PM  
If this gets bad he's going to have to shell out a LOT of dough.
2001-10-12 02:11:05 PM  
we should have a spy sell shiat loads of uniforms, and take all the money to the US, haha that would be cool
2001-10-12 02:13:11 PM  
so much for freezing his assets.
2001-10-12 02:13:44 PM  
I thought it was $50,000 also. Maybe it is the rate of exchange.
2001-10-12 02:14:21 PM  
I wonder how much he wants for Ernie's head?
2001-10-12 02:21:09 PM  
Who here would do Osama with his/her bare hands, even if it meant jail time?
2001-10-12 02:21:16 PM  

Now all we have to do to deprive Al Queda of all of their money is start dropping crates of old uniforms on the refugee camps!
2001-10-12 02:22:07 PM  
I wonder what would happen to him if he didn't have the cash to give.. hehehe biatchsmack!
2001-10-12 02:25:00 PM  
Fark that Primus, Osama and the Al Queda deserve no fair fight. They deserve to be pounced on in the worst way possible. They should be forced to spend the rest of their lives... WATCHING OLD NAVY COMMERCIALS!!! That is a fate that is worse then death or torture. HA HA HA
2001-10-12 02:25:41 PM  
I'm off to Army surplus to buy some uniforms. Anybody know how I can get in touch with Bin Laden?
2001-10-12 02:27:40 PM  
Suicide bombers dressed as US Marines. Great...
2001-10-12 02:28:57 PM  
Enja: More like we should put homing beacons on all the uniforms, spread them around Afghanistan, and see where they end up. They'll probably go straight to the Al Qaida leadership.
2001-10-12 02:30:33 PM  
He is probably paying by personal checks(SUCKERS!!).
2001-10-12 02:33:23 PM  
hehe, good idea eli
2001-10-12 02:33:50 PM  
Or CBS sitcoms. I'd be happy watching him suffer through that, actually.
2001-10-12 02:34:53 PM  
This just in..... along with dropping food and radios the army has started dropping old desert storm uniforms. The only word about the drops was "please remeber to get a recipt." no other explaination was given.
2001-10-12 02:36:20 PM  
Primus, I think death by tweezers would be more appropriate.
2001-10-12 02:36:23 PM  
Yay! i got an article posted.

and yeah, I think it is $50,000. 3M's right- rate of exchange brings it up to $100,000 Australian. That exchange rate has a big effect. Pizza is twice as yummy in Australia, and the women are twice as hot. (sometimes, the pizza is pretty hot too).
2001-10-12 02:39:17 PM  
How much would he give for my old GI Joes?
2001-10-12 02:41:00 PM  
Yeah ENJ, I say we drop millions of uniforms so that he either has to pay a lot or break his word. BWhahahaha!

Primus Coming up- 9 episodes of Mama's Family
2001-10-12 02:41:37 PM  
Perhaps whoever catches him should spend all their US reward money on uniforms and guns, and then give 'em to Pin Yata in his cell. hehe
2001-10-12 02:44:17 PM  
Agghhh!!!! The HORROR!!!
[image from too old to be available]
2001-10-12 02:46:35 PM  



You rock.
2001-10-12 02:49:19 PM  
hey, i was in the military for 9 years. i still have 8 uniforms. where can i send these things to get my $48,000?
2001-10-12 02:50:08 PM  
Now wait just a sec, does Osama understand capitalism at all??? Hell, I'm sure we've got some uniforms to sell - I mean, turn in - at some surplus store for fark's sake!
2001-10-12 02:52:25 PM  
I wonder what he wants them for... maybe he's planning on having a "Manchurian Candidate" all his own. I'd watch out for any returned soldiers with a glassy look in their eyes...
2001-10-12 02:54:51 PM  
Eli, that is a great idea.
We now have circuitboards that can be woven into clothing like thread. Why not use that technology?
2001-10-12 02:55:25 PM  
I'm sure he wants the uniforms for espionage or information purposes.
2001-10-12 02:55:44 PM  
Wait, I know why they don't do that...
The farking news will spill the beans, the plan won't work, and that'll be a shiatload of money wasted.
2001-10-12 02:58:26 PM  
i bet you the check would all big like the publishers clearing house check.
2001-10-12 02:58:27 PM  
TWO things:

1) Doesn't sound like he has much confidence in the upcoming conflict. ONE U.S. soldier?? WOw... now THAT is funny.

2) Payment for performance on the battlefield too... wow, and they balk at capitalism??

I am beginning to see how this clown is not so much a mastermind... but a simplemind.
2001-10-12 02:59:25 PM  
$100,000 dollars!!! shiat, I'll kill me a couple o' jarheads for 20 bucks and a sixer of Pabst Blue Ribbon! Where do I sign up?!?!
2001-10-12 03:09:31 PM  
"I'll kill me a couple o' jarheads"

heh.... Riiiiiight.

Keep dreaming, princess.
2001-10-12 03:09:41 PM  
Hmm, 100,000 to kill a trained american soldier, orrrrr over 10 million for the head of a skinny bearded chicken schit. Tough decision for a poor Afghani whos tired of the crap to make.
2001-10-12 03:10:59 PM  
Wait a sec... how does he get the troops??? If you turn them in, does he come personally to anal rape them? or do they go with one of the taliban people and meet osama somewhere??? Why not send in like a dummy or something, and when they go to nab them, blow him up? *shrug* 100g's though, thats alot for a soldier...
2001-10-12 03:12:38 PM  
They say the rubble at the TWC is still 1200 degrees . I say we bomb the Taleban untill it is ice cold !
2001-10-12 03:22:23 PM  
Baloneyflaps I wouldn't want to touch him.
2001-10-12 03:29:12 PM  
Not one source was mentioned in the whole story. What is journalism coming to?
2001-10-12 03:35:03 PM  
1.00 donation to FARK for every table cloth our troops take home
2001-10-12 03:35:06 PM  

Thanks for your TWO things. I agree.

I get the sense that bin Laden is NOT confidently chuckling to himself right now because everything is going exactly as he planned.
2001-10-12 03:39:41 PM  
'listen to me old chap, *one* is english'
2001-10-12 03:47:40 PM  
I'm making a trip to Salvation Army...who wants a cut of the profit?
2001-10-12 03:47:45 PM  
If I recall correctly, Ernie (From Ernies House of WhoopAss) ( -NSFW )is offering like $26,000 for Bin Ladin's head on a plate (or maybe it's a stick....)
2001-10-12 03:49:18 PM  
I can't figure out why 100K would be a motivator for an Aghani Soldier, what the hell is he going to spend it on??? It's not like they have Malls or Ferraris or real estate. Sure you could probably buy the biggest tent on the block.
2001-10-12 03:49:24 PM  
I wonder if there's some sort of weight limit, like they have during deer hunting season or fishing llimits....

"Sorry Apu, you're two National Guardsmen over the limit. You'll have to throw them back." Not that they'll ever get one of our guys.

If they were smart they'd dress up Taliban leaders as American soilders and turn them in, helping them get rid of those repressive farkers, bankrupt bin Laden, and get rich all in one fell swoop.
2001-10-12 03:50:05 PM  
Damn...I'm going to the local military supplies shop and getting me some fatigues. I also have a slingshot that might bring a few hundred bucks at least...
2001-10-12 03:58:16 PM  
The funniest suggestion I've heard in regards to dealing with Bin Laden:

Once captured, fly him to the states, perform a sex change operation, then send him back to the Taliban.
2001-10-12 04:00:28 PM  
He just wants the uniforms for sassy military-role-playing fetish purposes.
we ought to put binny in a prison cell with the biggest, horniest inmate available. He'll be a senorita in less than 5 minutes.
2001-10-12 04:35:21 PM  
strip him naked, give him an lsd & jalapeno enema, and lock him in a closet with a warthog in heat. oh yeah, while "its a small world after all" plays on endless tape loop in the background.
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